Tainted Innocence
by vixon l
Summary: Just when all appears hopeless, she comes across a wounded demon, who looks so much like the one she loves, the one lost to her by war. But he knows not of his past, his life. Only he is sesshomaru. his childlike mind holds the answers to her questions.
1. Who is he?

vixon: this is an inuyasha fanfic, one of my first so please be nice. I got inspired to write this when I was...really really bored and up really really late so don't flame me too bad for this crap-tacular creation. Though the idea is cute, im kinda wary on where it's going. So if something doesn't make sense, its because im just a little too exhausted to notice. Enjoy.

Summery: her love left to fight a losing war, with who.....? He never said. A year passes, and no word of his welfare. kagome struggles with the thought of the worse, of her amber eyed knight never to return. Just when all appears hopeless, she comes across a wounded demon, who looks so much like the one she loves. But he knows not of his past, his life. Only that his name is sesshomaru. Lost in his innocent child-like mind, his nightmares hold the answers to kagomes questions. And the mystery behind his growing hatred for him.

**Tainted innocence**

**Ch1 _"who are you?"_**

She stood in the blurry memory; the dieing sunlight dipped the sparkle on her ebony locks. kagome went to dash away a falling tear, but he had seen it before she had yet the chance to keep the sadness in check. Gentle fingers rose to her cheek, the warmth of his flesh flushed her face, tingling every sensation within her fragile body. The crystalline droplet had been lost in his hand, those protecting palms, with the passionate golden pools drowning her image. The identical misery swirled inside his depth as did in hers.

No words could lift to her quivering lips, no good-byes, and no farewells. It was too much for her to utter such impossibilities, but here they were.... his bag over his shoulder, his sword in his hilt. They came so close to one another's faces, and yet......he never teased his lips to kiss her before he went. Something both knew they would regret later on in the passing weeks, the months that would follow lagingly. Instead, the hanyou gave his reassuring grin, bringing both their noses to brisk lightly on each other. "I'll be back for you, so don't even think about saying good-bye to me now. You know you cant get rid of me that easily." he could always make her laugh, sending kagome to burst into failing giggles, the type that was full of cascading tears as well.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she sobbed into his silvery mane, that silky blanket she wouldn't find lying next to her in bed on those crisp mornings any more. The hanyou plucked unsuccessfully at the words he wished to exchange with her, his true inner feelings that stormed violently within. All's he found to utter was her name, simple and sweet on his tongue. "kagome..." he whispered, holding her tightly, lowering his ears at the agony this was summoning. He hadn't the courage to say it, to finish what it was he so desperately wished to scream to the world. 'I love you.' closing their eyes, he simply mouthed the words, feeling the twinge of remorse filling him. Before he could keep this moment suspended for much longer, the call of the troops rang across the little garden in front of the two's quant cottage, kouga looking on at the scene with mixed emotions. "inuyasha.... don't go." kagome stuttered into his kariginu, her plea's tugged every heartstring the hanyou possessed.

Turning away from her pleading expression, inuyasha stiffened his back, growing rigid at her tears for him. "I have too. Its my duty, you know that." they stood still, but he eventually broke the embrace, tilting her chin in his enlarged hand. "Some things are worth fighting for. YOUR worth fighting for." yet still she cried, begging him not to leave. This was the hardest decision he had ever made, one that haunted them both in its intense chill. Solemnly, he rubbed his thumb over her coral lips, remembering the beauty that is kagome. This vision before him would be the only thing that kept him fighting, all this struggle and war for the one he loved. inuyasha's other hand held her entwined fingers, and pressing into his palm was a small wool cloth. The confusion ran across his deepened brows, sticking kagome immediately as she choked to inuyasha in her meekest of voices, "i-i made it for you, for good luck." she swiped away the moisture building like waterfalls on her cheeks, her puffiness focused on their held hands. inuyasha smirked at her pointless worries, giving kagome a childish 'feh'. "I don't need luck wench, I've got this." he pointed to the bulging muscle's on his arm, but his teasing wasn't what she needed right now.

"You panty waste, im serious!" kagome lightly smacked him over the head, but her frown soon morphed back into its concerned thin line. "Be careful. Don't be stupid, I don't want to...to..." she fell back into his breathing chest, his prayer beads jingled at the way she clawed for the warmth underneath. inuyasha nuzzled his nose into her glistening hair, the growing lump refused to dislodge from its position in his throat. "I wont." he softened his face to match that of an angel, stroking the strands of bangs from her down caste eyes. Once kagome had wetted his shirt with the crystalline waterfalls from her pleading eyes, they both took one last look into the features of each other, burning the images into memory. Her blue orbs swept over his carved features, kagome nerved her lower lip to hold down further sobs. It was apparent this, too, was destroying the hanyou. Leaning down, inuyasha grazed a kiss over her forehead, holding them there for only a brief minute, but an eternity they so longed to hold. He would miss this most of all during their separation, as would she when his heat left her. After the wetness of his candy lips had lifted from her skin, kagome held fast to his trembling fingers, he slowly pulled away with the shouts from the other men.

"Don't forget me." she called, their contact falling away to the tips. inuyasha slightly turned his head once a good distance stood between them, to gaze at her one last time before he vanished into the faceless troop. But her pain only forced the jolts of guilt to pulse feverishly through his veins, aching every place down to his very core. The glance back proved to last only enough for him to vow that THIS battle was to end all battles, come hell or high water. He would finish it. For her.

kouga came up behind the distraught comrade, placing a firm hand over inuyasha's shoulder that nearly caused his knee's to buckle from the weight. "Don't worry, if anything happens, you know I'd take good care of her." that was less than helpful in the hanyou's opinion, stitching a dark mood in his mind. inuyasha brushed the comment aside, nudging the firm grip from his shoulder. Clenching his right hand tightly about the good luck charm kagome had woven for him; he could only imagine her loneliness, her hatred for all this war stood for. He glanced down at the softness laced between his callused fingers, grinning at its ingénues simplicity. Its symbolism of why he loved that human so dearly. It was a dark blue, like her mid-night eyes, with stitched petals of sakura blossoms swirling around the creation, a reminder of her earthly scent. Of the garden they had grown together, and the life they had built. The remnants of tears clouded his slanting eyes; actual fear began to fog his brain. What if he couldn't keep his promise to her? What if he never returned? What would happen to his love? inuyasha stroked the charm across his cheek, shutting his eyes to drown out the 'what if's' for now. kagome would wait for him. She loved him, and he to her. And that was all that mattered.

'But is it enough? kagome.....nothing will happen to you. I promise.'

The letters were sent, but all came back, blood stained to the sender. The bold black letters on the front read "unable to find soldier". And with each feeble attempt to reach inuyasha, it always resulted in further seeds of doubt to flourish in her heart. Why? Why didn't he ever send letters? Why couldn't he tell her the reason for his departure? Was it because she was a woman.... or the fact he wished to protect her from some horrendous truth behind it all? How was kagome to know for sure, and further more, did she want to know? The months trailed on, from the blossoming spring from which he left, to the falling golden leaves of autumn.

And still no word. "It is foolish to hang around this place." kagome whispered, rubbing the temples to ease down the throbs. Headaches became apart of her daily life now, not just from the worries of inuyasha's well fair, but also from the turning season and she had yet to harvest enough herbs to sell for market. She and inuyasha had long ago chosen a life away from the rest of humanity, for the solitude of nature and to escape the harassing from ignorant villagers about the hanyou's differences. But a life out in the woods.... seemed rather grim now that it was only her. No one to gossip with, no one to tease into furies. Only kagome and the chatter of the woodland creatures. It was, dare she say, lonely without that dog boy around to play with.

Sighing, kagome placed one of her palms into the dark soil of the garden, pulling up roots for one basket and vegetables for another. She would have to dry these steams and grind into a powder if she wished to make a decent dollar, and the beating rays of the suns wasn't making this easy. How she missed inuyasha'a digging skills. "arg, this'll have to do. My fingers are gonna bleed." she rubbed some dirt away to see the soreness that lay underneath. yep, it was official. She was pretty pathetic when she couldn't force inuyasha to do the hard work, and now she was going to have to deliver pre-ordered medicines to all the villagers that had paid her in advance. A building chore in itself.

If only people would just come up here and buy the stuff now instead of giving her a list and expecting HER to do it all. "What am I, a delivery boy? That's inuyasha's job!" as soon as those last words left her lips, the tears came flooding back, kagome had to clasp an unsteady hand to her mouth to hold down the overwhelming nausea. 'I cant get all emotional, not now. Don't think about it kagome. Just don't think about It.' easier said than done. inuyasha wasn't someone you could just forget, and deep down in her soul, she had never wanted too. Not in this life or any other. Several minutes passed, and she collected the dignity. Swooping to the two baskets, kagome lifted herself off the ground, trying to dust her knees off and juggle the contents in both hands.

"Better get to work." she told herself this, but it took several more minutes to command her legs to do so. It seemed this was all she did during the dragging days, a way to forget the emotions, even when they still resurfaced when least expected. kagome strolled over to a large rock set against the back porch, setting the herbs on the warm texture for the drying process to begin. After nodding approvingly, she thus went back inside to the kitchen, dumping the vegetables in the sink and replacing the space with bottled medicines for her rounds today. If she started out now, she could make it back by sun down. "yep. yep. Time to go." she had begun to talk to herself, a dirty habit, but it tends to happen when your all alone.... where no one can hear you scream. (MUWAHAHAHA!!)

This day seemed odd. 'No birds chirping, no animal sounds what-so-ever.' kagome glanced up the trees, searching for a curious pair of beady eyes watching her, or at least a feather ball singing of the day's events. Not a creature in sight, or sound. The cold fingers of fear startled the young woman, rustling her neck hairs by the stillness enlacing the area around her cottage. "I wish inuyasha was here." he always chased away the shadows, all the things that scared the Holy Ghost out of her. Now she was in a forest, away from civilization, with all sorts of beings living within its concealing foliage. She scratched her arm in shear nervousness, eyes sweeping into the swaying branches and moaning leaves ahead of her. No danger seemed visible, but then again, inuyasha had countless times proven her wrong.

"....oooh..."

kagome leapt out of her skin at the groan, her heart sped faster and faster within her rib cage, nearly busting the beating organ from its bone prison. Every hair stood on end, kagome had instinctively released her hold over the weaved basket. "Who's there?!" she demanded, shakily, but placing every bit of escaping bravery into the question. No answer, not even an echo. The woman stepped back several feet, finding her knee's falling limp by the unknown all about her. The call had come from everywhere...and then, nowhere. kagome's face darted to the surrounding area, to the shadows, to the fallen logs, to the places she couldn't see into. still nothing came as an answer.

a rustling sounded to the left of her body, the very movement of brush rattling from the swaying of a wounded animal. turning towards it, she steadied her nervouse the best she could, pushing the sinking coal of fear deep into the pit of her stomach. kagome reached a pebble hand to the moving bush, biting her lip, and swallowing the bile in her throat. "H-hello?" the thorns cut savagely into her already raw fingers, but she pressed further, mouth gaping at the creature laid before her.

"inu...?" kagome stuttered the word out in a whisper, unable to finish, for, once her voice lifted into the air; the person spun his head around in speeds she didn't know he possessed. He wore a white kariginu, with multiple patterns woven delinquently across the sleeves. It was a fine design, and a genuinely exquisite outfit that hinted his muscularity underneath. But his hair had been what sparked her voice to burn, and that burn caught in her throat, scorching the lagging breath. His eyes....... so familiar. kagome nearly fell to her knees, the way he looked up at her from his halfly propped position against a tree sent memories to course in the young woman's body. 'Oh my god! Oh my god!' but...no. He wasn't....... he wasn't inuyasha. He was a man. A stranger to her.

His long silver mane wavered in the wind, tangled with the likes of sticks and fallen leaves. And....blood. That's when kagomes eyes grew even more so than before. This man, he held his chest to cover the seeping wound that stretched across to his belly button, his life fluid oozed in an unrelenting way that nearly gagged kagome. And she had thought she had seen the worst done before, this one toped the unpretty cake. Kneeling beside him, the coldness of his stare made her teeter in a way, as if silently asking for permission to remove his hand. Laying her fingers over his blood stained others, he snarled evilly at her, in a feral, demonic way that put the shivers into her flesh.

"Don't worry, I can help you." he appeared skeptical, but said nothing. Her focus fell from his thinned lips to his exposed wound. He allowed kagome to lift his hand away from its dull shimmer; her expression took a concerned turn from its lack of clotting, and the spreading infection. Pulling away, kagome ran to her basket of herbs, knowing she had packetd at least something to save this stranger from deaths doorstep. And as she picked the first scattered bottle that had strayed from the others on the ground, her smile temporarily spread at its disinfecting qualities. Taking the entire handful of medicinal to her patient, kagome went to work tearing a stripe of her dress to use as a make-shaft bandage. The man never made another snarl at the sting, if fact, he never moved when, not even when she went to dab the herbs over his chest. Glancing up into his face, she was somewhat relieved he had fallen asleep, or perhaps passed out from blood lose.

It wasn't unbelievable; he did sit in a drowning pool of his own crimson blood. kagome pushed his shirt from the cleaned wound; her fingers dipped into the flesh to stroke out the dirt and replace it with the protein in one of her bottles. His face twisted suddenly, but eased back once the cool of the powder spread. 'That face......' she thought, almost able to see inuyasha somewhere in that gentleness of his features. But it wasn't him. This was just some man, injured on the roadside, from the mysterious depths of who knew where. Sighing, kagome wiped her hands, pushing a tear back behind her sockets. This wasn't the time to ball like a pathetic little girl; she had a man that, for all she could tell, was dieing. He had more problems than she, but never shed a tear for it. Not even when she had to jab her fingers deep down inside him to wash away the swelling puss.

"But your eyes, those golden eyes." she stroked his chin, in the caress she had performed on her love every morning when they had awoken. 'No! Stop that!! He isn't...your stupid kagome. No touchy or I'll break your fingers off.' she threatened herself cruelly for those wondering thoughts. "I could just slap myself for that." but that wouldn't solve anything, now would it? kagome, placed her healing hands to his chest, slowly removing his shirt to bind the slash before more germs invaded his body. A simple, harmless plan, that was completely beyond easy.

The blush crept onto her cheeks as she manipulated his clothes from his shoulders, maneuvering her way till the shirt hung loosely from his waist. That rock hard, broad shouldered fasic that no doubt made every lady swoon over. And kagome was no exception. She could only allowed her curious gaze to travel his abs, taking in the carved canyons of his chest, and the strong muscles bulging from his limp arms. He was.... 'Magnificent.' (Can you tell I think that man is hot yet. sigh) it took the dots of red to draw her glazed stare back to his gash, kagome slapped her face for the embarrassment, for the impure thoughts she just had about a complete stranger on the ground. And for the fact those thoughts weren't for the one hanyou she had given her heart too to begin with.

"Damn my hormones." binding the wound the best she could, kagome then went to loop one of his arms over her shoulders, a feeble attempt to get him back to her cottage before anything else. Boy he was heavy, and not to mention dead weight on his feet. It was a wonder she took a step with him hanging off of her, and a miracle she got him to her house before she collapsed from exhaustion. She had sat him on the floor for now, rummaging through blankets and pillows to make him a comfortable pallet until he awoke. kagome bound his injury with gauze after he was settled on his new sleeping place, and for her sake, managed to fit him into an old nightgown that had previous belonged to a certain inuyasha until she washed his blood coated garmet.

'Who is he? Where does he come from? Is he a survivor from the war, does he know inuyasha in some way? They could almost pass for brothers by the resemblance, but then again, I think the cat resembles inuyasha by now.' kagome shook her head, sitting next to the remarkably familiar man. He hadn't stirred, only his breath that raised his chest gave a sign he was still alive. "Lets pray you make it through the night." kagome quoed, stroking the sweat from his brow. She was ready to pick herself off the floor, and perhaps make herself a cup of steaming tea to calm her nerves, until his lids tightened. His face scrunched, twisting into turmoil. His mouth moved quickly, quietly from invisible words. Was he talking in his sleep?

kagome bent down to hear the inaudible sound, the one he seemed to repeat over and over in a growing level. "What are you trying to say?" kagome whispered into his ear, nearly brushing her own against his lips. His breath was so hot, with a passion for something in the clashing of his dream world. If only she could understand, to peek inside his mind. They're..... She had almost made out what this stranger had spoken, but it was a wisp, to full of his grunt to fully comprehend. "What is it?" her face flashed, a hand shot up around her slender neck in one fluid motion. His eyes had burst open, with the burn of red stretching across the white till it was flooded in the crimson storm of his fury. He jolted up, still blindly holding her frail throat till the pricks of his claws stabbed forcefully into kagome's flesh.

"DIE!" that was his word, his order to her. And with it screamed, he bared his fangs at the pulse of her blood rushing against his palm. The look in her eyes held a doe-like innocence, searching wildly for air. The very thing her mind yearned for, demanded, needed. This was no man, this was a monster! She had brought him into her home, to die by his hand, literally. kagome gasped for breath, ringing her fingers on his to loosen them with the little strength she held. No use, nothing could pry the darkness from her now. Again he snarled at her, squeezing ever so tighter, staring into a blank world he had yet to awaken from, "die...all of you!" it was the last she heard, the last.......she remembered.


	2. Who am i?

**ch2 _"who am I?"_**

_kagome walked through the mist, holding her arms around herself in a supportive hug. She was in a silhouette forest, one that was dead, black and grey. And just beyond its silver hands were the sounds of agony. The low, unmistakable roar of men, screaming for victory, yelling in anguish, pleading for lives lost, and some silenced forever. It was the war, the battlefield that was soaked in a river of blood and bone, and kagome ran to it. Her heart pounded, her throat became hoarse by the name that stuck to her lips no matter how hard she tried to shoat. Bursting from the entanglement of brush, kagome dug her heels into the soft earth, loaming over an on looking cliff that allowed the eye to sweep near to the ends of the earth. Down below was the ocean of carnage, the wave of men slaughtering another, demons hung in the middle picking off who ever fell under their attacks, whether comrade or foe._

_The very smell forced her to cover her nostrils, the decaying flesh that hung off of the weapons baked in the setting sun. kagome wanted to cry, she wanted so desperately to turn away and punish them for this mutilation, but still her voice eluded her. Just as her eyes drifted down the lengths of the falling titans, her breath caught in her lungs. Shining in all his glory stood the one she searched for, long for. he was caked in the spray of red, but that didn't hinder his skills, inuyasha kept right on fighting. and tied firmly around his arm was her luck charm, leaving him untouched by the love that protected him._

_a smile hung loosely on kagome's lips, she shouted his name, shattering the invisible walls that left her mute. the call echoed past the mounds of the dead, running through the still living, and into inuyasha's perked ears. he spun on his heels, the silver streaks in his hair framed his head in a heavenly glow, the same as the smile that hung on his lips. all the war stopped for the two to gaze at one another, inuyasha whispered out her name, with kagome to actually hear it. but the battle hadn't ceased entirely, it had only swallowed inuyasha deeper into its bowels, digesting him slowly in its crimson acid of the dead. the juices dripped from his claws, slithering down to join the sprawled bodies he treaded upon. "I lo...." the sentence became gagged, his mouth clenched shut. the narrowing of his eyes told her more than she wished to know, the swimming pain behind them that shone brighter than the reddening sky behind his back._

_a thin stream of blood traveled down the corners of inuyaha's mouth, he slowly reached a hand to his chest. a sword protruded out from the other side, the red ribbons of blood splashed onto the ground, causing him to gaze back up to his worry filled kagome. dropping his sword, inuyasha reached out to her, but they couldn't touch. to far, they were to far. kagome went to the edge of the hanging cliff, the hysteric tears drowned every part of her body. "NO.....inuyahsa!" he smiled sadly at his name, collapsing onto his knee's, never removing his golden glazed orbs from her. the sun went out in the sky, the clouds rained crimson liquid that washed her body of feeling. _

_kagome crept even closer to the end of her perch, still unable to believe he had fallen so easily...because of her. 'I distracted him. I killed him! what have I done!?!' clasping both hands to her face, kagome still stepped closer to the fall, the height would surely break her neck, if not kill her on impact. as if set in slow motion, inuyasha plummeted to the stack of rotting foes, taking with him into the afterlife the hopes and dreams both had wished to create together. yet, fait always interfered, destroyed, and manipulated the mortal lives it held tangled in its sickening design. sniffling the last of her emotions away, kagome brought her chin up with dignity once he had grown grey, vanishing into the waves of others, she watched inuyasha's body become eaten away by the raging armies. no more light for her, no more sunshine to shield her heart. hovering one foot over the ledge, kagome took one last breath. 'I love you inuyasha, more than my words alone can describe. let us always be together.' kagome took the plunge into purgatory, the last step she would ever have, the last she would remember in this desolate life. closing her eyes, she wrapped her arms over her chest as the wind teased her hair, falling to a bottomless blanket of sleep. the warmness would comfort her till she hit the bottom, but it already felt like she had hit that long ago......when he had left._

'were am I? is anyone out there? I can't feel, I can't see. It's all a blur, a nightmare. a distant reality.' (can you guess what song I got this from?) kagome's eyes fluttered open, her lashes clouded the bright image in front of her. it was like breaking forth from a long tunnel, the light now became so much clearer at the end, and so much more welcoming that she had only the time to register herself awake. "where am I?" kagome asked, her voice was rough and raw, sending a throb to pulse in her neck. had she slept on it wrong, or perhaps this was a personal hell for her endless suicidal thoughts. leaning up, hissing at the stiffness in her back, kagome clenched a hand to her temples, becoming dizzy from the lack of oxygen to her brain.

kagome fumbled by the spreading head-ache that rooted to the ends of her skull, but said nothing more until she had gotten her Barings. that's when she realized the burning holes of curious eyes upon her, watching, observing every movement she made. clumsily scrambling away from the man that nearly cost her life, kagome howled in panic, running her already soar head into a low desk. the man screamed along with her, surprised and shocked that she had hollered. he brought the covers up to his nose, eyes wide in fright. "don't hurt me don't hurt Me." he stuttered out, leaning back from the woman to avoid her piercing stare. the reaction was less than understandable, confusing at his sudden cowardice he displayed.

what was the deal with this man? the startled woman could only watch him blankly, tremble from his presence, cower at his strength she had already come to recon with. the stillness lingered, lifting into the air as would the early morning fog, hovering thickly over each person's head. perhaps he was a little 'touched' in the head, kagome fashioned her body in a kneeling position, in case he went for her life again before the day was over. just as she went to brace herself for a mad dash to the door, the man followed her quick sweep of focus to the doors, only he had mistaken her eyes to fall upon the pile of switches lying near the herb cabinets. "are you mad at me?" the man said, shakily in a voice that seemed to not belong to him at all. it almost appeared......child-like, frightened he was in trouble. tilting her head confusedly, kagome stared intently at the way he held himself, so unlike a man that had attacked her before. "I wont hurt you, if you don't hurt Me." his shoulders dropped in relaxation, he relief sighed, but still held the covers up to his nose, hiding from her. "I'd never do that, you helped Me." he gave a tiny smile, yet it went unnoticed.

kagome inched closer to him, sending the ease he once held to go fleeing back until he was stiff as a board again. "your not gonna put more of that owwy stuff on me? or use those sticks, are you?" she could detect the tremble in his words, that reminded her of the way the village kids sounded when she had to disinfect a scratch or when their mothers switched the fire out of them for misbehaving. this caused kagome to smile timidly and shake her head, extending a hand to remove the blanket from his face. "no, I wont hurt you, or put anymore median on until later tonight. your injuries are serious, but it's good to see you're still alive. how did you get them?" the man stared blankly at her, the fabric had slipped from his hold so easily that he hadn't even realized it. kagome still sat in front of him, teetering on her haunches if she had to spring up incase he went to finish the job on her, but then again.....she hardly felt threatened by him, as strange as that sounds. he had the face of an angel, and the body of a hunk. 'ahhh! stop that thinking kag! appearances are deceiving.'

the man turned his sights to the ceiling, thinking while taking in his new surrounding. "well?" she pressed, sending him to nerve his lip and look down into his lap, at the callused hands and pointed claws with small traces of her blood. "I cant remember." he squeaked, embarrassed at his foggy memory. kagome's face went shocked, it was hard to imagine how someone could forget how they got THOSE in the first place! "uhhhh, okay. do you remember where you're from?" he shook his head shamefully, shoulders scrunched. "do you remember your past?" again he shook his head, gazing up at her innocently. kagome huffed a bit of air to her messy bangs, searching her brain for a means to figure out who exactly this stranger was. he didn't seem to know anything, much less who or where he was from. perhaps he had that amnesia thing, bumped his head some how. leaning in a little closer to his face, kagome gently pressed on, a glow of trust leaked fluently from her body. "do you know what you are?" "im....like you?" it was more of a question to her question, he was unsure of the right answer. she shook her head like a babysitter would to a curious toddler, "no, your a demon by those pointy ears of yours." the man's eyes widened, he reached up to the lobes delinquently, feeling the tips to be positive. and sure enough, she was right.

"what's a...demon?" he tilted his head, watching her face pale, than observed her rounder ears. this was an uncomfortable subject, something she supposed wouldn't be easy to describe to one that didn't know what it was. scratching her head, kagome really didn't know how to explain this to someone, much less a grown man. 'he's lost his memory, so I guess, he's like a small child in the mind area. oh joy, I get to raise another kid.' she thought blandly, thinking back to the time outs she had to give inuyasha for his misbehaving. sitting in front of the stranger cross-legged, kagome set her hands in her lap, beginning with the basics, "a demon is someone that is stronger than normal people. there's a whole bunch of different kinds, I don't have a clue what type you are but I hope its nice." he took this all in hungrily, unwavering in the clear attention he placed upon this informative stranger, digesting the information. quickly nodding to her words, the man made sure to make this perfectly clear, "im nice. very nice." he said this hastily, as if she might flee if not said at that very moment. that was good to know on kagome's part.

squinting her eyes a bit, kagome leaned in to his face, searching it to be positively sure he wasn't deceiving her. "alright, I believe you. but...how old are you?" it was a question she must know, to be sure just how bluntly she could speak to this man, and precisely figure out how to handle such a predicament as bizarre as this. now it was his turn to scratch his head, rolling his eyes this way and that, then count on his fingers to be sure he had it right. "im...oh, what's after six?" he held out his hands, with seven fingers up. "im this old, my birthdays in the spring. I think." he gave an hmmm sound of consideration, but didn't say much after that. perhaps he was still foggy on the time and date.

gasping for air, kagome fell over with legs in the air. ' no way. he thinks he's how old?!' the stupefied look on her face said it all, the man jabbed a finger into her side politely, repeatedly, "are you okay? am I wrong? I could be wrong, are you dead? your breathing but your brains gone bye-bye." how inquisitive of him to notice. she remained on the ground a little while longer, twitching her foot every time he poked her. "do you even know your name?" kagome mumbled, springing back to life just as quickly as she had fallen over in disbelief. it startled the man by her quick recovery, but he merely smiled broadly, his fangs gleaming intimidating at her. "my names sessh....sessh....something." turning to the window, his lips grew even more so, admiring the cerulean sky with its blends of pinks and golds. it appeared he became easily distracted, especially with new surroundings to explore. "sesshomaru." he leapt up to run towards the open window, not paying any heed to his wounds.

"sesshomaru, your injury. you cant jump around like that or they'll reopen." kagome warned, not even being acknowledged. "look it, the suns setting. its so pretty, can I go out and play mommy?" "eh..." O.O;; her eyes nearly bugged out at the word, jaw slacked to the ground, and skin paled to match the horror of who he thought she was. "i-im not your mom!" he didn't seem fazed by her declaration in any way, sesshomaru bounced on his tip toes, excitement bubbled inside his chest. "but my mommy was so pretty, beautiful, just like you. you have to be my mommy." 'well, you cant say he isn't polite, charming in fact.' blushing from the compliment, kagome stood, stumbling slightly with a hand raised up to her burning cheeks. it took every ounce of self-control from keeping her voice to a steady tone. this man had some strange effect over her, with that silky voice, that innocent smile. "t-thank you sessh, but I assure you im not. my names kagome." "kagome-san, kagome-san." he sang the name twirling around to face her.

the two nearly bumped into one another, from both their lack of paying attention. kagome's mind was else where on her predicament, and sesshomaru's was dancing with his newfound friend. his roll model. "oh, your so short kagome-san." he caught her in his arms before she fell over completely in shock, finding that the young woman barely made it to his neck in height. startled, kagome reclaimed her dignity, he had a strange way to be perfectly blunt. standing on her own two feet once her lungs brought in a fresh supply of air to her system, kagome huffed indignantly. it felt as though she had lost her breathe there for a second, not only from bumping into him, but also from his gentle, peaceful ways. a sort of loving expression fashioned onto his face for her, a trust that only the purest of minds held for a total stranger. "im not short, your just tall." kagome barked up to his loaming stature, she managed to loosen one of her arms to raise over his head, it having to take her to stand on tip toes to do so.

sesshomaru giggled, still holding her close in a hug. "maybe your a fairy, their really small and fragile." he brought kagome up to his face effortlessly, not taking much of his strength to do this to her, like lifting a flower up to himself. kagome felt so helpless in his hold, but so comfortable all at the same time. 'I need to get a hold of myself, he's just seven years old....er, 25...or grrrr! I don't care any more.' "will you grant me a wish fairy?" sesshomaru asked, brightly awaiting her response. he was obviously playing with her, but kagome found it less than amusing at the close body-compacted-to-body game.

"sesshomaru, im not a fairy. im, what everyone calls, a human and we cant grant wishes. could you please put me down, I'd like to breath?" he groaned in disappointment at her seriousness, but did as she said.

smoothing the wrinkles from her dress, kagome eventually brought her grey eyes up to meet his golden pools, those pools she could just drown herself in. 'inuyasha.' she mouthed the words, but the voice refused to utter such non-sense. the logical half of her brain said this was a stranger, that this was danger, a spreading flame that could...and would consume her soul if she didn't watch her step. but the compassionate part, the memories, the emotions, they screamed of something worth placing herself in danger for. he was someone that needed her, and she needed him in an ironical way. the look of his friendly, familiar appearance stung her eyes, but also eased it at the same time. an inner complex battle, one kagome had no control over anymore. sesshomaru arched an eyebrow at her silent word, bringing a hand up to her glazed over face. tapping the end of her nose with a flick to bring her thoughts back down to earth, sesshomaru watched the way she scrunched at the wake up call, her face went into many humorous expressions.

"kagome-san, why do you always give me that look? are you sick?" he felt her forehead for a fever, tingling kagome's flesh at his touch. the electricity that surged between them nearly knocked her back into a burning frenzy, his warmth, his heat, his smooth flesh on hers......pulling his hand down, kagome smiled fondly to him, stepping slightly to the kitchens direction. "hehe, no. im just thinking. thinking thinking thinking. busy busy busy." stopping her at the said words, kagome slammed a fist into her head, grunting at the remembrance. "oh crap! I forgot about my arines. stupid kagome!" sesshomaru slapped a hand to his head in a copy cat way, repeating with her, "stupid stupid me." 'what a fun game.'

after hearing the deeper echo follow her every word, and glancing up to see him following her gestures, kagome stood strait as a rod, somewhat peeved at him. "now don't you start in on that." kagome tapped a foot once realizing he mimicked her moves. sesshmaru tapped his as well, they both gave smiles to show a truce. the bewildered girl focused her attention on the gathering creep of darkness. "I guess I won't be doing anything tonight." 'all thanks to my brain fart.' kagome looked back up to her companion once that was moaned, observing the way he poked at the gauze on his belly and chest, cringing at each time his fingers made contact to the blood spots, yet went in again to poke it when the pain lessoned. 'what a strange man.' she tilted her head, but finally called him away from hurting himself. "sesshomaru, stop messing with those." "their itchy." he protested, jutting out a lower lip to prove his point.

"I don't care if they sing yankee doodle, leave them alone until your wound closes." he sat on the pallet, hands under his bottom to keep himself from scratching at the material. "they itch." he grumbled, jaw clenched shut in annoyance. kagome sighed, turning her back on him to fix dinner, her ears picking up a faint sound of his disobedience. "no touchy." she warned, as if she had eyes in the back of her head. "im not." scratch scratch "leave them alone." "I Am." scratchity scratch scratch

kagome spun on her heels, poking her head around the door so he wouldn't know she was there. and, like her ears had told her, he was sitting there, pulling the gauze off to claw at the annoying spot. "AHAA!" kagome leapt out, wooden spoon pointed at the man. all his hairs stood on end, resembling that of bayou the cat when he was frightened. "I knew I heard you at it, now stop that or I'll glue your hands to your butt." sesshomaru's face had grown sheet white when kagome had caught him, little jolts of fear coursed up and down his spine by her scream.

"you would not." he protested, somewhat unsure if she would. "try me sessh, i have all I need over there in the cabinets." she teased, but still held a menacing shadow to her face that dared him to push her. whimpering under his breath, sesshomaru pulled his shirt bottom back down to cover the gauze, folding his hands in his lap. he seemed innocent enough, but like kagome's mother had said, 'if you give a man an inch, he'll walk a mile.' kagome held a finger up, just to silently say, 'im watching you so don't even try it.'

it was remarkable the way he actually listened to her, but then again, so did inuyasha when she held that certain look. it was said that it could strike fear into any demons soul, and with sesshomaru's reaction, it was true. back to the stew, kagome spun the brew until it was thick with meat and vegetables, steaming with perfection. the smell must have filled the cottage, for, before she could turn around to call her guest of the meal, he was standing right behind her, leaning over the contents. saliva washed down the corners of his jaw, dropping onto her shoulder. "that looks so good." he pressed closer, uncomfortably close in kagome's opinion. sesshomaru nearly smothered her, pushing her body against the stove so he could leer at the floating juices. she could feel every curve of him, every hard muscle, even through his clothes and hers.

it nearly sent the woman into panic, the way he wrapped her up in his warmth, his weight leaning heavily against her backside. the memories of inuyasha's surprise hugs floated in and out of her head, swirling into multiple thrills and excitements shattering in her veins. it nearly turned her blood into lava, the heat scorched its way through the clothes, raising her hormones till she had to push fiercely against this loaming mans chest. she didn't need, nor want this feeling. "get off!" kagome screeched breathlessly, leaving sesshomaru to stumble two feet away, head bowed like a fearful dog. she was so moody, so bi-polar, "sorry kagome-san, I was just wanting to see what you made." the tone was a fragile whisper, afraid of her flared temper that wasn't necessarily directed at him.

"no, sesshomaru..." stroking the sweat from her brow, kagome softened her voice, cooling the adrenalin and snuffing out the fading memories. "i didn't mean to snap at you, you just startled me and I...oh, didn't want you to get burned by the stove." a far from truthful excuses, but the child-like mind ate it up anyways, returning his grin and trust to her. "oh, yeah. I forgot fire can burn. and stoves can be hot." he inched closer, teetering on his tiptoes to see into the pot. licking his lips with a dry tongue, sesshomaru hopped over the tiles like if he were playing hopscotch, coming up right in front of kagome. "can I help? I'll be really careful, and not spill anything, and get the bowls, and put spices in, and..." he was rambling, probably board from sitting on his hands all day. this brought kagome to laugh behind her hand, a true, honest to god real laugh.

'oh, I haven't done that in a long time.' she curled her fingers over his lips, silencing his endless chatter before he ran out of things to say and fall over breathless. "you, " tapping a pointer finger over his nose, kagome flashed an amused smirk towards her guest, nearly falling into relentless giggles herself by his unique humor, "can go wash up." pulling several leaves from his tangled hair, kagome placed them in front of his nose to prove her point.

"the bathrooms back there, down the hall. and the hot spring is out back. " she pointed in the direction, and gave a reassuring push to send him on his way. "but.." sesshomaru began meekly, arching his eyebrows at the darkness that lingered down the direction she had indicated. kagome waved a finger at him, tut tutting his persistent sluggish pace. "get down there and scrub that dirt off. go on." she slapped his butt, unconsciously, forcing him to yelp and walk to the edge of the lighted kitchen. 'oh my god. did I just...? I think I just.....oh my god.' kagome's face flushed pure red, all the blood rushed to her cheeks at the hand on tight, firm, rock hard buttocks of sesshomaru. it was a simple thing she had done just out of pure silliness, but it seemed these little teasing's she had performed so often in the past turned horrible embarrassing in the present.

spinning back to the smoldering pot, kagome hoped he just went so he couldn't see the crimson rose petals blooming on her pale skin. "kagome, its dark down there." he whispered the last part, as if the blackness had ears and would attack if they heard his insult. he turned his head over his shoulder, pointing down to the closed door in just a matter of seven steps away. kagome sighed, what seemed like the trillionth time today because of his ridiculousness. 'he's just a child, he's just a child. remember when you were that young?' "all right, come on." she stepped in front of him now, showing that nothing was down there to get him... except bayou if he so stepped on the firy fur balls tail. 'hell, im sure he could make road kill of anything that tried to hurt him.' kagome slightly chuckled, not only because of her imagining such a picture of him smacking down the boogie man, but also from his cowardice when he benched even poor inuyasha by at least 50 pounds, and it was safe to say that no one messed with inuyasha.

"see, nothing that can hurt you sesshomaru. no monsters in my house." closing her eyes triumphantly, a warm hand clasped into hers, followed by a very close demon by her side. gasping for breath, kagome nearly yanked the appendage away and sprint to the other side of the cottage before he invaded her space entirely. but...... glancing into his face, she couldn't find the heart to do so. he was swiveling his glowing orbs every which way, one hand held up to his mouth to bite the nails in nervousness. 'he's terrified. this big, tough looking man...is afraid of a little dark.' the grip on her hand proved that much of his fear, it felt as though he would squeeze it off, the bones surely cracked, her blood was unable to pump into the fingers. "sesshomaru, be gentle on my hand, your a lot stronger than me so loosen up. okay?" he nodded, but didn't really do so, the tremble in his arm shook her patite form down to her very toes.

lighting a candle once in the laundry room, kagome noticed his nerves ease, a deep sigh escaped sesshomaru's lips. "there's nothing in the dark that can hurt YOU sesshomaru. I'd tell you monsters don't exist, but they do." sesshomaru swallowed hard, scratching his arm nervously. "but they cant hurt me....right?" smiling reassuringly, kagome stroked his chattering jaw, the same way she did so many times to.....' no, stop that.' kagome berated herself, discovering herself so captivated by this man's transfixed eyes that searched hers. "right kagome-san?" he repeated, shrilly, not getting anywhere.

kagome bowed her head, loathing the way she couldn't tell him what he so wished to hear. demon's could and WOULD hurt others, for no reason other than to enjoy the misery they inflicted. she knew this more than any, hoping, praying sesshomaru, at one time, wasn't like that. that perhaps, he was good, just innocent and gentle like now. 'but I highly doubt that.' "sesshomaru, from these," she placed her free hand onto his bandages that lie underneath his shirt, caressing them softly so he felt nothing but her light fingers. "im sure they can...if you let them. but you, you wont ever let someone hurt you, don't allow that no matter what!" a fire burned in her eyes, not even her building tears could smolder those growing flames. loyally, sesshomaru nodded, promising to her that both of them would be safe...... always.

she wanted to fall into his arms at that weak moment, to cry, to wail, to thrash around until nothing inside was left in her withering frame to drain. all this pint up sorrow, stress, worry, anger just wanted to be unleashed. but...no. he couldn't handle that from her. 'shit, he cant even walk down the hall without pissing his pants.' and it was hardly fair of her to fall apart in front of sesshomaru. what would it prove? that she was weak? that she couldn't do a single damn thing without someone there to hold her hand along the way? what kind of message would that send to him? bowing her head, and blinking back the tears, kagome placed a strained, teasing smile for the big oaf. "well, you fluffy little thing, you need to wash up and I need to get the bowls out. hurry up so we can eat."

'kagome-san...' sesshomaru wanted to smile back, but he smelled it. he knew she wanted to cry, but from what? him? he didn't want that to be the reason, for his kagome-san to be sad.... no matter what. she was too pretty for tears. before he could reach out and hug her in comfort, kagome had vanished back down the black fingers of the hall, busying her with chores. she had barely brushed past him, and yet his heart gave a strong tug at the way she smelled, the way her hand felt cupped in his. the grim flicker sparked in his golden orbs, but he knew she wanted to be alone for now, it was just something inside of him, an instinct...or a voice that told him to leave her be. what ever it was that spoke deeply from within, he listened to its age old wisdom, cracking his neck, flexing his fingers to pop the joints until he found a wash cloth. turning the soap every which way, sesshomaru sniffed the scented bar, then curled his nose at the floral stench.

"kagomeeeeeee-saaaaaaan......?" he whined out into the open, removing his tangling shirt the best he could until she answered. "my shirts trying to eat me alive." kagome blew a breath out, dropping the spoon, and her head to let the breath cloud slip from her parted lips. "your shirt isn't gonna eat you, just unbutton it." "help." kagome walked down the hall, again, to assist this blunder head before he drove her up the wall. "sesshomaru, I cant come in here every five seconds to help you......." O.O

he had no pants on when she arrived, and was caught in the folds of his shirt. "I cant get free." he whimpered, tugging repeatedly on the fabric until it just ripped down the backside. "im sorry kagome-san, I didn't mean to break It." she remained in that one position, unmoving, unable to speak.

"SESSHOMARU GET YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!!!!" she roared, throwing her hands over her eyes at seeing his bare ass staring right back at her. "but you told me to take a bath." he went in on the defensive, spinning around without any regard for his nudity. "yes...well." kagome couldn't form any words at the moment, her energy was focused on shielding her vision from that mans flawless ASS! 'that totally hot, juicy, must touchy.........' "AHHHH!" kagome flew into the kitchen, sesshomaru only stared at her, utterly confused. "im just naked. girls." he folded his clothes and did as kagome had instructed, taking the candle out back to bat 


	3. Your silence feeds my nightmares

**Vixon: here's the third chapi, so I hope you like it. I want to thank all the people who reviewed. Its you that keeps me writing.**

**ch3 _"your silence feeds my nightmares"_**

It never even crossed his mind she was completely embarrassed, and lets not mention, mortified. sesshomaru could've sworn, whilst he was washing the suds from his hair, he heard a loud banging coming from the kitchen.

kagome smashed her head on the table's hard wood surface, thud after thud, echoing to herself, "bad kagome, bad! Dirty dirty kagome."

sesshomaru enjoyed his meal, and wasn't afraid to tell her. He had practically drained the pot, feeding that endless hungry pit of his, and rubbed his stomach once he had finally reached his fill. "Oh yes, im all full." he hoisted his feet on top of the table, leaning back satisfied of the food digesting steadily in his gut. It had felt like forever since he had sat down to enjoy a good dinner, but kagome wasn't about to let his manners slid. Where on earth did he learn such foul behavior? She went around to collect his bowl, sneering at the plot formulating inside her head as she purposely tipped him back with a nudge from her elbow, sending sesshomaru to land flat on the floor in a frenzy. He sat on the overturned chair, stunned, and completely breathless from the fall. It wasn't long before he rolled onto all fours, tackling kagome with a boyish grin. "Naughty naughty kagome-san. Now im gonna getcha." sesshomaru bounced up, then began to cuddle up the best he could to kagome's exposed leg. It nearly flipped her over, forcing kagome to stare unamused at the demon blinking up drowsily to her.

sesshomaru gave a tiny yawn, nuzzling into her ankle with all the affection a kid could muster for his kagome-san, "im so sleepy." of course you could only imagine kagome's expression, it was somewhere between HOLY SHT!! And WHaT THE F&$!! Shaking him off, kagome bounced around the kitchen, bowls balanced in one hand, kicking into the air to get this delirious man off her appendage. "Get off. Get off get off get off!" she'd have better luck making wine into water than prying the big fluffy one from herself.

sesshomaru finally did release her, rubbing his eyes at the depleting energy, slumping onto the table leg when kagome had plastered herself to the opposite end of the kitchen. She practically scaled the roof by that little touchy-feely goodness he had smothered her in. (what would YOU do if some strange guy thinks he's 7 and starts rubbing his man body all up and down your leg? huh?! hard question to answer now isn't it? unless its sesshomaru, squee) "kagome-san? Where am I gonna sleep?" he sat his head in his hands, rocking back and forth to keep himself awake long enough to hear. kagome unhooked her nails from the roofs wood after sesshomaru settled down, slinking back to the ground to dump the soiled utensils into the sink, slowly inching back towards her...special guest. "You? Well...um...let me think." 'Not against my leg, if that's what you think.' placing a finger to her chin, and tapping it in thought, kagome finally pointed to the pallet he had laid upon earlier, hoping this would sustain him for the night. "You can have a sleep out in the living room. What fun, eh sesshomaru." she had a way to make the most tedious things sound like an amusement park. sesshomaru glanced over to the direction she pointed and squealed, (can you imagine?) taking one giant leap into the air to land hard on the floor, face first. Boy he was a klutz, worse off than kagome.

"waaaaaaah! kagome-san!!!!! I landed on my nose." 'Oh dear god, what did I ever do to deserve this?' kagome racked her brain for the answer, pulling her hair out as she rubbed the bridge of her nose from sesshomaru's constant follies. 'Perhaps it was that time I washed miroku's underwear in that itching powder. Yeah, that must be the reason why god has sent this.... this crybaby on my doorstep.' walking over to the wailing demon, kagome kneeled beside her companion, patting the red mark traveling across his nose and forehead. "Your fine sessh, you don't have to cry about it. See." she wiped the tears away with her sleeve, trying her hardest to keep the bubbling giggles from escaping her lips and maintain that reassuring 'caring' look on her face. It was very difficult, especially when he looked this pitiful.

sesshomaru sniffled, sobs raking his body at the sourness infiltrating his body. "Now you'll learn not to FLY into the air unless you intend on landing on your feet. Feeling better now?" he nodded, leaning back so he could dab the rest of his tears away himself. He felt utterly humiliated from his clumsiness, and the fact kagome was secretly laughing at him. "Why is the floor so hard?! It should be soft and cushy like Jell-O, then I wont get hurt and can eat it when I get hungry." the burst of booming amusement spouted out from kagome's mouth. Never had she heard such a ridiculous imagination. "Oh, stop that mooping. The floors just fine, and nothings gonna have to be amputated so be happy. Look, the redness is already going away." sesshomaru crossed his eyes to be sure, and sure enough, his skin was going back to its natural color.

sesshomaru massaged the fading red, lip quivering slightly due to her teasing chuckles. kagome arched an eyebrow at his persistent wallowing, planting her hands on her hips at the silence her guest held. " I was just playing with you sessh, stop being all emotional about it. What do you want me to do, kiss your boo boo for you?" her sly expression melted once he nodded, leaning closer to kagomes puffed lips. Blush crawled its way to kagome's black roots, sweeping her up in its heated wave throughout her trembling fasic. "I-i was just joking." "But it still hurts kagome-san. Make the pain go away. pleeeeeeeeeeease." kagome held her hands up at his insistence, shaking them in a meager attempt to ward off his towering body. 'I-i-i-i-i-i.......no. sesshomaru, im warning you. Stay back." she had placed a wavering ounce of authority into her voice, but it seemed only to fall unnoticed. sesshomaru kept closing in on her, and kagome kept falling backwards on her knees, unable to command them to do anything besides stay glued to that spot.

With a thud, the woman landed on her back, and sesshomaru tackled his way on top of her sprawled form. "What's the matter kagome, afraid I have cooties?" he snickered out, rolling on the ground with her, tickling his way up her curves. And with each flicker of his fingers on her sensitive skin, kagome couldn't help but burst out in laughter at his touch. The joyful streams came tumbling down her face, it felt as though her cheeks would crack and crumble at the increasing grin. " sesshomaru stop! It's too much...stop! I cant take it, I give, I give." he halted his assault long enough to bask in his victory, pressing all his weight onto her until kagome caught her second wind.

One of his enlarged hands had hers locked above her head, his other lightly brushing her waist. Panting for the lack of air, kagome felt her entire body blazing, the struggle had rendered her helpless yet...... she lavished in it. And his eyes, those beaming, innocent eyes sparkled of his child-like love for her. "Alright. One kiss, and that's it. Then, your going to sleep and I don't want to hear a peep from you until morning." sesshomaru's triumphant smirk grew ten folds, his loose strands of hair fell over her face gently, enveloping kagome in its tender silky blanket. After the radiating glow had dimmed on kagome's face, and the heat had bade back into the depths of her core, she leaned up to kiss the ach he had long ago forgotten. This was just a game to him, a priority sort of thing that she blew WAY out of proportion in her mind. Its not like she was taking advantage of him, or tonguing the poor guy. It was a kiss. Just a simple, harmless peck and then it would be over and done with.

Delinquently, the soft velvet of lips brushed over his perfectly carved nose, tickling something primal down inside both individuals' bellies. sesshomaru's face blanched, kagomes turned to mask the infectious embarrassment. "Now you said you'd go to bed. See you in the morning." she tugged at her hands, but he still held her wrist's shackled, his eyes still closed for a split second more. sesshomaru chewed his lower lip, his breath caught in his throat at kagome's sweet seductive scent. Her musk mixed with his. a jolt ran down the length of his spine, forcing his grip to become tighter around her. "kagome....." his voice turned an alto lower, a monarch tone entwined thickly in his growled word. It was husky, emotionless, icy to the bitter end.

kagome's brow became drenched in dreading sweat, her fears shooting off to shatter within her veins. This was a different voice, a different sesshomaru on top of her now. His face twisted in confusion, eyes still clenched shut to drown out the world other than what he wished to see, to place the scattered puzzled pieces back in order and form the picture in his blurred memory. "sesshomaru? Its bed time." kagome wanted to point this out to him, and if he had allowed a free hand to escape his firming grip, she would have stroked the splintering bangs from his drenched brow and smoothed out the lines surrounding his thinned lips. "sesshomaru?" he didn't stir, the jolt went through him again and she felt it wildly shake the both of them this time.

His other hand gripped the floorboards, digging mercilessly into the grooves with his claws, scrapping and clawing to better control the image. To master what it was that churned wickedly inside. Feeling the remainder of his weight pressing her into the hard surface, kagome allowed a painful yelp to reach his ears, her upper body pressed to push him aside and be rid of the restricting weight that flattened her easily. kagome's eyes flexed every which way, resting on his fangs that grew in each snarl that he permitted. Wrenching one hand from his claws, the bone felt as though it would crumble if she didn't escape this somehow, if she didn't bring back what sanity he held as his own. Pushing on his chest, kagome gritted her teeth at the pinpricks he left encircling her flesh. "sesshomaru, enough!" a motherly authority forced its way out of her collapsing lungs and to her tongue, straggling for his obedience.

sesshomaru's eyes reared the ugliness of his hate, the red she had seen earlier pooled out to all the white in his glazed over vision. It was frightening, the markings on his face stretched to reveal his transforming storm. The curl in his lips showed the pink of his gums and the white of his sharpening fangs. He was terrifying like this, enough that brought sadness to dangle onto kagome's lashes. "sesshomaru....?" she whispered lovingly, reaching up to his face, her fingers went to stroke his snarling expression. His once beautiful eyes followed every movement she made, like she was some untrustworthy villain out for his blood, and he was bound determined to destroy her before that could occur. "Humans." sesshomaru growled under his breath, swinging his head so he snaps at her approaching appendage. Halting at the threatening gesture, kagome allowed the fear to show. "Yes. Im a human, and your sesshomaru....my friend."

Again, she reached up to his face. But this time, he didn't attempt to rip her caress with his shredding canines. He allowed her to touch him, to stroke, pet, ease the anger back to its inner cage. sesshomaru's lids dipped half way; his rapid breath and pounding heart resided to its normal pace. Even the red veil shrouding his eyes dimmed at her softness, her determination to comfort. kagome was bringing him back from a nightmare, pulling sesshomaru from the dark torment that spiraled uncontrollably inside this man and giving back the simple welcome of each other's trust. He shuttered, unclenching his jaw muscles, and gave kagome the opportunity to pull her imprisoned had from his loosened grip. The bruise was already dying around her pale skin, its mixture of blues and purple fashioned on her like a chained shackle.

sesshomaru once again shut his eyes, opening them when he felt kagome still underneath his enormous body. A smile tugged the ends of his lips, the innocent brightness returned to his face. "See, that wasn't so bad now was it kagome-san?" he had no idea. Didn't remember what he had done to her, or what he had nearly done. She rubbed her throbbing wrist at the sudden unexpected morph from lunatic to boy, forcing a weak smile to flash his way. "Uhhh.....no, I guess not." sesshomaru's sweetness fell dramaticly once his gaze drifted to her injury, and for a moment, kagome prayed to god all mighty that heated flash that streaked across his eyes again wasn't the same as before. "kagome-san! Your wrist, its all bruised." he immediately lifted himself from her still pinned form, helping his kagome sit up so he could take a closer look at the place she so desperately tried to hide.

sesshomaru put a stern look to his features, almost taking on the resemblance of that creature she had seen twice today. "Who did this too you?! I'll smash the stupid out of them." holding the fragile hand, sesshomaru used his thumb to travel up and down her pulse, then to find the sweating soft middle of her palm. It was a simple, thoughtful stroke that sent jitters of an unknown kind to snake its way through kagome's still figure. How could this man do this too her, make all the bones in her body turn to liquid at just a meaningless touch? "sesshomaru." eagerly yanking the trembling hand from his grasp, kagome placed it to her heart; a large sweat droplet fell from the side of her head. "We WERE wrestling on the ground. I hate to admit it but I bruise easily, so don't fret your fluffy little head about It." kagome waved a hand to dismiss his worry, numerous more droplets formed beside the other sweat droplet. ' I sure hope he buys that retard excuses.' sesshomaru's tail curled up into his lap, he pulled at strands in frustration at the discovery.

"Im sorry. I didn't know. You even told me I was stronger than you and I just.... im sorry." it was almost pathetically cute the way he carried on about it. 'How can I stay mad at a face like that?' kagome inwardly asked herself in a baby talk voice. It was amazing how many emotions he conjured up inside her, and how strongly he made them. 'Just think what he could do to me if he knew he was a man.' kagome's back went rigid at the thought, the hot flashes swept through her yet again. It seemed the temperature in this room kept spiking at the most inappropriate times, or she just kept thinking of bad bad things at the most inappropriate times. Reaching out to steady his nervous habit, kagome grinned at his regretful expression. "Don't beat yourself up about it. Allow me too." his eyes shot up to hers, the look on his face was mortified, until he realized she held a sly, teasing smirk for him. "Hey, you shouldn't scare me like that." a whine rang in his sentence, but the smile told it all. sesshomaru lowered his voice, deathly sinister, shadows fell across his features, "or I'll make you kiss me again."

kagome faked fear, placing a hand to her forehead in a display she would faint at the very idea, "oh no. Not the 'kiss'. How will I ever survive?" they both snickered, sesshomaru went to launch another attack to her. He sure was a playful sort, something she would never have guessed by just looking at his high mantanece appearance. "UN un un un uh. One kiss, and off to bed. That was our deal." lowering his shoulders, sesshomaru bowed his head and snuggled into the covers, grumbling the entire time. A deal was a deal; keeping your word is what made you honorable. He wasn't sure why he knew this; kagome had never said anything about it before. ' That voice again.' sesshomaru scratched his head at the hidden knowledge inside his drifting mind, trying to make heads or tails of how he remembered such things. "Now be good, and go to sleep." kagome blew the candles out, staying just a little while longer in the room to make positively sure he would be safe for the night. "Fine. Fine." sesshomaru yawned loudly into the room, wrapping himself into a ball of blankets. "Night mommy kagome-san."

It was way to late to argue with him right now, let him believe what he wanted so long as she got some shuteye. She would let this slip for now. "Good night sesshomaru." kagome slipped into her nightgown, nearly collapsing into the softness of her mattress from shear exhaustion. It was just one of those days. Who knew raising a kid would be so difficult, and tiring? The shadows sliced into every knock and cranny of the cottage, the tree's outside whistled in the breeze of the fall wind. Her bed was placed up against a window, allowing for kagome to gaze out into the night sky and count the candle light stars that sprinkled across the velvety darkness. There was always light in the black, always hope in the hopeless. It was a reassuring quote she stuck too, and tonight, it seemed perfect to revisit. She had lost count of the minutes, perhaps even hours that swam unchecked to her wandering thoughts. It wasn't that she fought with sleep, it was just all the worries, the events leading up to now.....a strange, highly unstable man just outside her door, forced the sandman to look else where for a victim to catapult into dreams. That, and many other piling things, kept her mind from falling into LA LA land.

'I miss you so much inuyasha. So damn much that I cant stand it any more. I want to be with you...no matter where it is.' tears deluged from their hiding place, causing the pillows to grow dark in the spots they fell. kagome didn't even attempt to brush them away, let them swamp her, consume her. She deserved that much. It was a ritual she participated daily in, the longing for one's loved ones. "kagome-san?" kagome hugged her pillow closer, burying her face into its plumpness. "kagome-san?" another poke jabbed into her shoulder, another voice called her back from the morbid memories. 'Leave me alone, just leave me be.'

Again, the person said her name in a whisper, wanting to grab her attention, but refusing to wake her up. sesshomaru watched the way she stirred, tossed and turned, perhaps in a dream she didn't want to release just yet. Holding his own pillow up to his chin, the demon swayed his tail this way and that at the uncertainty, looking for a means to wake her without actually waking her. (As if that makes any sense) sesshomaru leaned in to her ear, his breath tingled kagomes lobe until she sighed for more of his warmth. "kagome? Are you awake?" another howl came from outside, the breeze rattled many things to create monsters in his imagination. 'monster monster monster monster.' his mind raced over all the deformed shadows that reached out to take hold of his shivering body. "kagome....... please wake up." patting her head, he noticed her place the pillow over her head, drowning him out. 'Joy! She's awake.'

"Go away sessh. Let me sleep." "But im scared." the room went still, only his breath was heard. "What did I tell you about monsters in my house?" kagome mumbled through the material she held over her face, rolling onto her backside in defeat. Tilting his head in thought, sesshomaru sat on the bed, ringing his own pillow in his hands. "That I shouldn't let them hurt me. That im stronger." she nodded drowsily, pushing herself up when he leaned back against the headboard. " That's right so you don't have anything to fear. ka peesh?" "Ka...ka....yeah." kagome pushed him up and turned her back on the still present demon. "D-don't make me sleep out there all by myself." 'pleeeease let me sleep in here with you kagome-san. Pretty pretty please.'

"sesshomaru, you're being silly. Go out there and be a big boy," kagome turned to look over her shoulder with one eye, her gaze traveled up his manly stature, sending the blush to burn wildly over every fiber in her body. "A-and go to sleep." he remained planted to his spot, smelling the shift in her aroma by his presence. "Uh, you can go now." kagome pulled the covers up to her neck, trying to hide her nearly exposed body from such virgin eyes. Child-like mind or not, he was still a man, and she......very much a woman. sesshomaru nerved his lip, still cuddling the pillow like it was the only shield protecting him from the unseen evil forces lurking beyond his vision. Sighing once more at his persistence in such a trivial matter, kagome patted a seat for him on the edge of her bed. "If it helps, I'll tell you a way to get rid of all the monsters."

She had to handle this like any other parent would with a fearful child, and patience was something she was losing right now. Once sesshomaru was settled in a comfortable position, bringing his legs up to listen, kagome went on in her reassurance. "When I was young, my mother taught me a song that chased away all the boogies. It was so powerful; I never ever saw a monster in my room. Want to learn?" he shook his head rapidly, willing to try anything to get rid of his fears. kagome cleared her throat, straitening her back so she could at least carry a note for tonight.

"When a monsters in the dark and your heart starts to poundin,

Just take a drum, start to hum and sing your awful yowlin.

Make a beat, stomp your feet, tell him he cant stay.

Say, "Monster monster you've been bad. So monster go away."

Monsters don't like awful tunes; they'll leave when you don't quit.

So raise your voice way up high. And that monster will split."

sesshomaru smiled at the tune; trying to memorize the words best he could for tonight. "Do you think you can go out there and brave it now?" kagome groaned, the energy within her finally coming to its straggling end. Again, the demon nodded in approval, a fist of determination mounted next to his chin. "I can do it. Night kagome-san." sesshomaru raced out the door, flopping himself onto his pallet, and began to sing the song. Over. And over. And over.

"Oh dear lord what have I done?" kagome tossed and turned, listening to sesshomaru try to sing. Well.......try was an understatement. He actually had a lovely voice, just not when it kept cracking from his fear. Silence ended the disturbing noise; kagome lifted a hand from her ear to listen to sweet quietness fill her peaceful cottage. "Ahhh, that's more like It." she breathed relief into her blanket, closing her eyes for the serenity. "KAGOME-SAN!!!!!!!!!" the scream jolted the woman strait out of her bed to practically scramble up the wall. (Much like off of that loony tunes cartoon where the dog sneaks up behind the cat and barks till the cat is upside down on the ceiling)

"kagome-san, kagome-san! I saw a monster outside the window. It had glowing eyes, and kept circling around the house, and sniffing at the door. It was wanting to eat me kagome-san." he had barreled into her room, eyes twice their normal size and sheet white like he had seen, well, a monster. Throwing himself in bed with her, sesshomaru hid underneath the covers. (Isn't that a sight to see?) "Don't make me sleep out there alone, it was looking strait at me. I don't want to be out there alone. Please don't make me kagome." falling back down to her mattress, kagome rubbed his back, unable to calm him down even for a moment to talk in normal speeds. He must have really seen something out there, though she had yet to hear anything other than his ear splitting tone-deaf music.

"sesshomaru, you probably saw an owl, or a raccoon." "NO! I saw a monster. He was bigger than those animals." pulling the covers down to meet his face, kagome beamed a reassuring smile. "Oh, come on sesshomaru. I'll tuck you in and then we can..." sesshomaru clamped his arms around kagome, burying his face into her cotton shirt. "No, don't make me." 'Uhhhh, okay.' he sure was convincing. Patting his head, she tried to loosen his embrace just a smudge, but sesshomaru wouldn't have it. "Then what do you propose we do? Huh? How about I show you there's nothing outside. Will that make you feel better?"

sesshomaru gulped loudly, tightening his hold protectively. "Don't do that kagome, he'll eat you up and then I wont have anyone. I'll be all-alone without you. I wont let you go out there." sesshomaru gave a timid smile, sitting up with her and bowed his head until his nose nearly touched hers. "Even you said im stronger than you, so I wont let that happen." how charming, in a strange way. Wiggling in his arms, kagome protested quite a bit about it. "I don't care if you're the strongest man alive, I can take care of myself and don't need you protecting me. And if your so strong why, pray tell, are you cowering in here with me when you can go out there and woop some serious smack down on his hinny?" sesshomaru stuttered, unable to find a good excuses for his lack of bravado.

"I...uh, h-have to protect you. Yeah. Your just a little fairy kagome-san, I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." kagome lowered her head, breathing a peevish murmur about his lacking some truth statement. "Try peeing your pants when I cant hold your hand when it gets dark." he growled in annoyance, but still refused to release her. "Fine sesshomaru, bring your pallet in here, I don't care." he gave a small, fleeting smile, but lost it when something tapped against her window. "kagome?" sesshomaru whispered, shivering down to his very toenails.

"Whaaaaaat?" kagome flopped her head backwards, rolling her eyes at the way he just! Wouldn't! Stop! "Can i sleep with you? In your bed?"


	4. I am who i am

**Ch4 _"I am who I am"_**

Kagome's eyes snapped up to the man cradling her. Sesshomaru smiled warmly, hopefully, for the answer he wished to hear. "N-no! You are not sleeping with me and that's final." tilting his head down to her fretting body, Sesshomaru pouted his lip, forcing his glowing pools to grow sparkly in fake tears. "Please? I wont move around, I'll be perfectly still and quiet, and you wont even know im there." 'Fat chance.' Kagome growled inwardly, still holding a rigid posture until he finished. "I'll be like a giant teddy bear." inhaling a deep breath, Kagome unlocked his arms from around her waist, "im gonna make you sleep on the roof if you don't march that spicy rear of yours to your pallet and stay there." oh lord; she had just made another sexy comment about his irresistible body parts.

Glowing molten red from that butt implement, Kagome pushed Sesshomaru off the edge of her bed, pointing a shaky finger in the direction of his blankets. "Hoof it mister." grumbling profusely, the irritated man did so, apparently very used to getting his own way. He would be strictly disappointed if he imagined Kagome was going to bow to his every whim. After the night stillness developed, Kagome threw her head back onto her crumpled pillow, growling at Sesshomaru's constant pestering. 'Okay, get hold of yourself. He's in the living room and I am safe in my bed. Yep, nothing can go wrong. Everything's perfectly under control.' well...if you overlooked a total stranger with bi-polar personalities was camping out in her cabin, which I might add out in the middle of nowhere, and he had nearly killed her...how many times? 'Twice.' Kagome corrected her brain, scrunching deeper into the warmth of her covers. Yeah, then you could say you were safe. Until than, your just hanging on by a thread.

'Heaven help me, I have screwed myself over royally this time.' and to make matters worse, she almost felt attracted to this man. 'That's all I need, another fatal attraction to a new breed of psycho.' Kagome's drumming thoughts began to smear together, until all she knew was the exhaustion that settled neatly in her weighted lids. Yawning for the last time today, the woman turned her back to the window, throwing an arm over the vacant spot on her mattress. "Inuyasha...."

'I lose my way, no one cares. The words I say, no one hears. My life its seems, is a world of dreams.' the familiar song whispered its way into her mind, swirling the images of distant fantasies together until only the colors spoke, and the feelings danced.

'Deep in the night, you'll find me. Dream and your right, behind me. Stay, if you'll stay.' (50 points if you know what song that's from.) Squishing her body into the firm crevice behind her, Kagome snuggled deeply into cozy, warm, and unbelievable enticing touch. Kagome had never felt so protected, the peacefulness wouldn't cease, and she never wanted this feeling to leave her. Rolling over, Kagome inhaled the erotic scent to the one she was so molded into.

It was musky, pure male, with the splash of the forest pine needles mixed together. She loved it, cherished it. The silky strands of hair dangled onto her face; forcing Kagome to scrunch her nose at the tickles it gave her flesh. Squinting one eye open, the image of white burst into sight, followed by the sparkle of his hair from the morning sun. "Inuyasha, I love you." she whispered up to him, burring her face deeper into his locks, into the thickness of his muscular chest. He tightened his grip around her, cradling Kagome, caging her in his arms. A small smile tugged the ends of his lips, revealing the fangs.

It was just a peaceful scene. It didn't take long for the realization to set in, distasteful in Kagome's belly. 'No. Inuyasha is.......who the hell is it in my bed?!!' snapping both eyes open, the woman had to bite down on her knuckles to drown out the scream. Sesshomaru had his face in her hair, breathing in softly; snuggling every so often to be sure she was still in his protection. Kagome went sheet white, whiter than his own hair. 'Oh my god oh my god oh my god!' the usual words to describe her reaction went playing in her head like a broken record. Pushing at his wall of a chest, Kagome found he resisted her pull, squeezing them together tighter than before. Sesshomaru had one hand at the base of her nape, stroking her lightly with those gentle fingers of his.

She tried once again to squirm away from his iron hold, only to have the demon squish her body fully into his, leaving only enough space for her to breath. 'Aggggggg! To close. WAAAAAAAY to close.' Kagome wiggled, he stilled her. Thrusting her legs, she felt his tail entwine around them till they were firmly locked together. "Well, could it get ANY worse than this?" breathing a deep sigh, Kagome closed her eyes to think. Perhaps he would just walk up, and then she could really put the pounding on his disobedient patooki for this humiliation.

Her last question soon became answered. Sesshomaru's soothing breathing became deeper, rapid. Kagome felt his heart rate increase; the muscles she was pressed into grow stiffer, hotter. His teeth lengthened, grazing the top of Kagome's scalp as they went down past his chin. 'Oh no. Not this again. No unleashing of evil Sesshomaru, he is bad. Bad bad bad bad.' the red markings on his face stretched, his claws dug into kagome's mattress, which she was grateful it wasn't her. "Get away from me." Sesshomaru ordered, snarling and spatting at the unseen dream.

"He's mine."

Kagome let out a squeak as he crushed her in his arms. 'His dreams......they must be......memories.' her eyes grew in concern, sending her body to convulse in trembles at the cold, stoic voice penetrating through her Sesshomaru's mouth. ' He was killing someone! They were trying to kill him!' "Sesshomaru? Walk up, its time to get out of bed lazy head." he growled, clenching both lids shut to process her words. His body imprinted her, his aggression lessoned. "Kagome......" the hand that held her neck stroked her again, and this time, it was more than just a calming gesture.

It traveled down past the length of her back, vanishing under the covers, but she still felt it. The fear doubled, wrenching the terrified breath from her lungs. He was feeling her body, in ways she felt violated in, mapping her with a hungry possession. Kagome could only lay still, strait as a rod, not knowing what to do in this circumstance. In the past, if anyone laid an unprofessional finger on her, she would have beat the snot out of him or her or had Inuyasha do it. Now.....being alone with a wild, crazy full blood demon next to her......she felt vulnerable, defenseless. And somewhere, behind the folds of horror, Kagome felt a growing need inside herself. It burned in the places he had touched; paralyzing her for the ach it left. A glow lift from inside, scorching his hand where it lay. Sesshomaru had begun to squeeze her tender bottom, but instantly flung away when the burn caught on his flesh.

Her powers, the inner miko abilities passed down from her ancient ancestors blood line, sent a very clear warning to someone invading another's comfort and sacredness. Sesshomaru hissed, but he was a stubborn demon, or hard at learning one's lesson the first time around. He rested his palm on her lower back, but Kagome bit her lip, closing her eyes to give him another, more powerful reminder. Again he flinched, smirking drowsily at the fight. 'This is just a game to him. That self-absorbed snob. He's just toying with me.' Kagome was so enthralled in her fuming that she failed to realize just where his roaming hand was now.

Her breath caught in her lungs, convulsing her muscles at his audacity. Sesshomaru had pushed his claws up the shirt of her nightgown, resting the ends of his fingers on the side of her bulging breasts. "Oh hell no." Kagome growled, sending everything she had at him for that intrusion. The room burst into a bright pink light, so intense you could see it from the small village in the distance, and hear the excruciation scream of a charcoaled man. Kagome sat up off her bed, free from her "guest" clutches, tugging her shirt down in an indignant fashion with a very large pulse mark on the side of her head. Sprawled out on the bed was a black, charred Sesshomaru, his eyes wide in shock and pain. The smoke swarmed the room, but Kagome only waved it aside, sticking her nose in the air and leaving the demon to stew in his own ashy pain. (He's smokin)

He huffed out a large cloud of smoke, sitting up sour, with little sparks of electricity still traveling through his Afro hair. "Ow, I didn't do, ow, anything wrong Kagome-san. Ow ow ow." he crawled after her, like a little puppy, whispering of the aching burns up and down his body. "Get away from me. I don't want to be around you right now, you strictly disobeyed me." Kagome had hurried herself into the kitchen, throwing together a meal while her little Sesshomaru scrunched his shoulders in the doorframe, hissing of the burns when he did this.

She was very mad, which he had a faint idea why? "I-I was just looking out for you. Last night, I...." "Don't say another word. Just go." she pointed outside, not even looking at him. The emotions in her eyes would say too much, and she didn't want to give him that advantage. Sulking at his treatment, Sesshomaru did as Kagome said, sitting out in the garden until he felt it safe to re-enter the house. 'Why is she so angry with me? I was just wanting to keep her safe.' he sat down under a large sakura tree, daydreaming while staring into the branches. "Maybe she knows about my dreams. They're so horrible, I want them to stop." Sesshomaru nearly gagged at the remembrance of the blood, the flesh on his claws. Had that been how he got these wounds?

Fingering the bandages, Sesshomaru didn't feel the sharp pain as he did yesterday. Unwrapping them, he found that the wounds were closed, amazingly in record time. "Kagome will be happy to see this." it sent a slight blush to spread across his cheeks, a soft pink glow that burned his skin. The gentle smile he held of her never ceased to fade. She was his Kagome-san; he didn't want anything to ever happen to her. No matter what. Sighing, Sesshomaru looked up to watch her feverishly work in the kitchen, again feeling all pleasant inside by her kindness. He knew they weren't related, the smells were completely different, but something in that house held a familiar scent. It was all over the place, all over her, and he hardly liked it.

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed at the manly musk, snarling at its stench. 'She's my Kagome. And no one else's!' it was a selfish thought, childish in possession of a person, but it caused his blood to boil when he thought about the familiar scent covering her. It's what sent him on edge, to constantly be next to her, hoping to rid the smell any way possible. Again he growled, snapping his teeth together in a wild sense, gripping the bandages in his claws until the sound of them shredding caught his attention. Sesshomaru shook the jealousy from his mind, refocusing on the peacefulness of the cottage, trying to discard the selfishness brewing inside. 'I need to calm down, getting angry over something so silly wont help. And I still have to figure out how to get Kagome to like me again.' Sesshomaru's tail drooped several notches at the way she had practically screamed at him earlier. He was almost afraid she was going to chuck the frying pan at his head if he hadn't left then and there.

Then it hit him. Snapping his fingers together, Sesshomaru leapt to his feet, all smiles at his idea. "I could get her flowers. Or better yet, find this Inuyasha she keeps talking about." he nodded many times to assess the plan, but scratched his head at the realization of, "how do I find this guy anyways?" he paced, then paced some more until his head throbbed. "Maybe she has something of his, and I can get the scent of him." squatting down on all fours, he took in the smells of the garden, sniffing at many things to fire up his extra special sense's.

He thus made it into the cottage, creeping quietly so she never even knew he was there. He followed down the hall, scrunching his nose at the nasty smell of that one manly scent; it sent every hair of his on end. He wanted to scrub that stink away, but now wasn't the time for his petty needs. Sesshomaru was on a mission, and come hell or high water he wasn't gonna give up with out a decent fight. Nosing his way into Kagome's room, the smoke still hung around the ceiling, separating slowly from his morning wake up call. 'I don't know why Kagome made such a big deal over me in bed with her. Its not like I kicked her in my sleep or anything.'

He came to the closet, inhaling the musky old dust that hung loosely on her materials. "She doesn't have any nice clothes in here. I'll have to find her some better one's, one's that bring out her eyes and figure." how he had noticed such a thing about Kagome was beyond him, perhaps that age old voice inside had took the time to find these things out. It was possible. Sesshomaru fingered his way around the woman's outfits, pushing past the junk cluttering his way. Huffing a breath, Sesshomaru was about to just look else where on the matter, or perhaps just give her some flowers. That would be allot easier.

A box toppled over onto his foot, not weighing much, but still catching his immediate attention. With curious eyes, the demon bent over, sniffing for the contents. He clasped a hand over his nose, eyes watering at its thickening musk. 'Its him! That disgusting thing that's everywhere. God its awful.' after sticking his tongue out in disgust, Sesshomaru ripped the lid off, observing all the things inside to every object that had been stored away and pushed to the back of the closet. Probably to be forgotten.

He pulled out many articles of clothing, matching the p.j.s Kagome had loaned to him for last night. Sesshomaru even discovered a red outfit that nearly stung his pupils by its intense brightness. This one was coated heavily with the man stink, lifting a growl from the demons lips. Red streaked over Sesshomaru's vision, a flash of a shadowed man swept into his fading memories. Fire blazed around that one standing defiantly before him, but it vanished in a blink, forcing Sesshomaru to question if what he saw was real or just his over active imagination. He would decide later, until than..........

"Sesshomaru, come to breakfast." "Yes Kagome-san." he quickly unbuttoned his nightgown, slipping into the red kariginu until his old clothes were patched up. Perhaps he could roll around in the dirt to get the vomiting stench off, but for now, 'BREAKFAST!!' Sesshomaru bounced into the kitchen, smiling wildly at her calm voice. She had apparently gotten over what ever it was bite her in the ass. Kagome piled some syrup onto her little...er.....Sesshomaru's plate, seating herself once he entered the kitchen. "Im so sorry Sesshomaru. I shouldn't have blown up on you like that. You have to understand ......." her breath caught in her throat, paling Kagome to a pasty white at the man she looked up at.

"Its alright, I know you didn't mean any of it. Those look so good." he just walked in, wearing Inuyasha's clothes, nearly stealing her breath away at the remarkable resemblance. "Where did you get that?" her whisper was growing, startled, unnerving. She couldn't fight down the anxiety anymore, the memories, the over powering emotions. "I found them in the closet, they're kinda stinky but I figure if I wear them long enough it'll go away." Sesshomaru laughed lightly, sitting across from her with that dangerous smile of his. "Take them off." she sounded startled, angry again.

"Right here? Right now?" he had one bite full nearly to his mouth, but that look she gave told him to STOP! "Yes! Now!" Kagome was too overcome with grief to realize exactly what it was he was saying, or she ordering, just seeing a remarkably close resemblance to her love threw all the sanity from Kagome's mind. "TAKE IT OFF!" Kagome closed her eyes, screaming as loud as she could. (Its alot like when she tells Inuyasha to sit when she's reeeeeeeally p.o.ed)

Sesshomaru shrugged his shoulders, peeling away the shirt and pants. After they piled onto the floor, Kagome sighed, opening her eyes to stare down at her plate. "After I get finished eating, I need to go into the village for stuff. YOU will get to wash the dishes and guard the house." "Mmhmm."

"But please try to behave, im gonna be gone for a while." she looked up to confirm he understood, leaving a very shocked expression to cover her face. (Much like this- O.O) turning bright red, she flung a hand over her eyes, gasping for air, and trying to rub away the slowly trickling nosebleed. 'He's so! freakin! HOT!!' Sesshomaru came up besides her, reaching to hold her shaking hand. "Kagome-san, are you alright? You're all red again. I know, you just need a big hug." (Uh yes, a thing to behold) Kagome leapt away, spinning around to escape the haunting image. "Sesshomaru get your clothes back on."

"But you just said...." "GET THEM ON!" scratching his ear, he snuck behind her, wrapping those large arms of his around Kagome's waist. "Your so strange, I like you that way." he pushed the woman firmly against his rock hard chest, and his......... unmentionables. (Mmmmm, im salivating. my friend is so gonna smack me when she reads this. bad vixon, bad.) Kagome's hair went on end, teeth chattered from surprise and the feel of a strange man pressed into her backside. "Let go! I need down, I need a stress reliever! Put me down before you get a shock of your life little...err.... big mister." and she wasn't saying big from his height alone.

Sesshomaru smiled fondly to his squirming prey, tickled by her warmth, and fully engrossed by her sweet scent. "When I grow up Kagome, im gonna make you my wife." for a dragged out moment, her heart sank. The simple admittance restricted any further struggle, placing heaviness onto her fluttering heart. How could he say such things? He hardly knew who she was, and she had no clue as to what he was like.....other than those violent relapses. "Kagome?" Sesshomaru was whispering into her ear, spinning this girl around in his arms. A hint of concern played across his voice, nearly choking the sobs from the human's little chest.

"Are you alright? I don't think you should go out by yourself, something could happen to you. And...... I don't want that to ever happen to my future bride." again the sniffles infiltrated Kagome's body, piercing into her heart until it fell from its perch to shatter in her veins. She felt his breath heave in and out of his lungs; the calming song of his drumming pulse soothed her nerves. Just being close to him made everything right again, put the puzzle into a recognizable picture. And that voice, it was surely from the heavens. Totally enchanted.

Placing both hands over the demon's broad shoulders, Kagome pushed out of his hold, stumbling back down to the ground to recollect her dignity. Every part of Kagome's body tingled to rest in his clutch, that shelter only Sesshomaru gave in his arms. She just wanted to lay her head on this strangers shoulder, knowing that all would be well in the end. Kagome's curiosity got the better of her, sweeping her gaze over his naked form. It made her feel like a schoolgirl again. She hesitated when she reached his waist, then spun back around to keep herself from setting perverted sights on that.......' oh I cant even think it. Inuyasha never had one....STOP THAT HENTAI!' "Stupid hormones and their hormonal.....grrrr, hormones." Kagome stomped away, picking her things up as she went.

Before she could even get out the door, the disgrace and anger had found root in her steaming body, causing her to spin around with fist's raised high. "Why do you have to have such a gorgeous body, and why do you have to have such a large DICK!?!!!" of course, that didn't come out as intended. Well, maybe it did, but she was too furious to think things through. And asking a man that thought he was a child such questions had a very slim chance of getting answered. Blush licked up her face, flowing clear down to her toenails until she felt like running away and just die. (Ever have one of those days?)

Kagome ran out of the cottage, leaving only a dust cloud behind for Sesshomaru to stare at wide eye. Tilting his head in confusion, he looked over his body, in all its naked glory, wondering what she meant by that outburst. She seemed to have alot of those lately. 'She....... she thinks im gorgeous?' a small, schoolboy blush rose on his cheeks, causing Sesshomaru to smile dreamily. He was going to catalog that as a compliment, and that meant a lot when it came from his Kagome-san. But the question still remained in his mind, something he wasn't sure his new friend could answer without running out on him again. "What's a dick?"

**Vixon: so there it is. And yes, this will evolve into a sessh/kagome romance. In due time, when his memories start to become a little more mature. Next chapter is sure to have a lot of fluffy, embarrassing moments for poor kagome, and sesshomaru gets a pep talk about the differences between men and women. **


	5. MINE!

**Vixon: okay, so here's a brand new chapi fresh from the oven. I know I've been getting into the uncomfortable area more often than not, but I just cant resist when it's Sesshomaru. I promise there will only be one more chapter with nudity related stuff involved so don't have a heart attack. And I'd also like to thank the reviewers, you're the one's that keep me writing so if you want more keep on sending me stuff. Enjoy.**

**ch5 _"MINE!"_**

'Crap crap carpity crap crap!' Kagome whimpered, clutching both hands to her forehead as she pounded her feet into the gravel. "I'm turning into a little Miroku. Why god, why?" she pulled every sick thought, all the sappy fantasies from her memory, wiping the slate clean for now. It was time to focus on her duties, something she'd been neglecting for far too long. "How can I ever face Sessh again? He thinks I'm nuts, or a petifile by that comment earlier." she sighed out a large stress cloud, wanting the soothing autumn wind to just sweep her away into the clouds, never to become humiliated again.

"I need to see Sango, she'll be able to help me. Or Kiade, she has to be one of the oldest.....er.... I mean, wisest woman I know." it was better than beating herself up all day and dodging Sesshomaru until he became a man again. 'Oh, he has one of the finest ass's I've ever seen. And i'm sure he can go on for days. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I can't keep doing this. Miroku get out of my head.' she shook her head repeatedly, bashing the basket into her skull. "Out hentai, stay out." 'I am a practical woman. I just wont think about you know who and I wont start to think about you know what. Okay, find your balance.'

"I'm in a field. With bunnies and puppies and all my friends." Kagome closed her eyes, taking in the mental calmness. Meditating was helping, she felt lighter, centered, completely at ease. "What a minute." opening her lids, she watched the forest blur into its many onsage of crispy colors. One large arm was swooped around her waist, "hey there sweet stuff, how's my woman doing?" the wolf demon smirked wickedly, twirling the human woman in his arms until she was gripping his waist with her legs. It was a very uncomfortable position that drove Kouga into a confident frenzy. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hold you like this." pure seduction devoured his voice, coming out in its gruff purr. "Hold me!?! Put me down you jack ass, do you have any idea what Inuyasha will do to you when he see's this?"

Her face did not break out in heated fury, forcing Kagome to bash him across the head in a clear warning she wasn't meant to be man handled, nor did she want it. Wait a minute...... if Kouga returned from the war, than that meant...... "Inuyasha! Where is he?! I have to see him." they came to a dusty stop on the path, Kouga setting her aside from her constant struggle. The bright hope in her eyes threw him off. All the joy, the bubbling happiness in Kagome's face tensed him that much more. "Well?" she repeated, bouncing on her tiptoes to receive an answer. Still he stood there, scratching his arm, gulping down the largest lump to swell in his throat.

"He...." Kouga paused, closing his eyes to hide from her stare. "Oh, he died." silence fell over them, Kagome had to blink several times to find her voice. "What? H-how.......its not true." her shoulders sank, a slice tore deeply into her heaving chest. Kouga tilted his head guiltily, biting his tongue roughly from the dryness and bittersweet taste. "No. I won't believe it." a panic attack was taking effect, churning the woman's stomach into tight repulsive knots. "No!"

Ramming both hands into her face, Kagome bite one finger to hold down the shrill sobs. Kouga took this vulnerable opportunity to step closer, laying one tender hand over her shoulder, "I'm so sorry Kag, but you know how he was. Always rushing into things before thinking. I tried to stop him, but he never listens to me." Kagome pushed his touch away, gripping the baskets handle tightly until the white of her knuckles stretched the pink skin. "He can't be dead! He promised he wouldn't....we-we were supposed to be together." her frantic tears drenched every inch of her face, seeping into the wool sleeves on her beaten dress.

"I know its gonna be hard for ya, but it wont hurt forever. Just give it time. I promised him if anything happened, that I would look after ya, and I always will." he went to hug her in comfort, but still Kagome kept her distance, refusing any contact with this demon. It was too damn uncomfortable, he was too threatening to her right now. "I have to...to go." Kagome whizzed right past him, racing back to her cottage, her shelter to hide away with the memories, to the place Inuyasha and she had built their dream home together. Why did he have to leave her? How could he just do something so selfish, so down right cruel? 'Damn you stupid mutt! I knew your arrogance would do this, I just knew it!' it felt like the world was collapsing, falling into unsightly rubble. Her innards would surely wither into twisted nothingness, to rip and shred, pulling and destroying all her hopes and dreams until all that remained was her broken shell. She was nothing without her love, and would remain nothing.

Kouga hadn't followed, respectfully giving Kagome the space and time she required for such disturbing news to digest. This was going to be a winter built upon tears and hollowness. And the following years were going to fall like the leaves until only the warped branches swayed to the dance of death. A shadow fell over Kagome's soul, drowning her in its darkness. 'I wont believe it. I cant!'

She flew into the cottage, winded, but still managed to find the breath to scream every shrieking depression out into the world. Flinging the basket aside, she folded herself onto the bed, shielding her face with both arms. Let the sorrow eat away at her heart, to leak out what little crystalline emotions she held now. It was best to empty this grief forever.

Kagome hardly heard the soft patter of feet coming towards her, the loaming heat of her guest breathed down her back. "W-what's the matter? Did something hurt you?" Sesshomaru laid his palm on top of her head, flexing his fingers into the lacy feel of Kagome's raven locks. "Just go a-away." the sentence was a violent sob, causing her muscles to grow rigid.

Sesshomaru's heartstrings tugged viciously towards this sorrow, but he bit his lip, holding the mistiness locked behind his eyes. "Kagome...... i'm not leaving you like this. Please don't cry." he bent down further, feeling his own emotions taking effect, ready to drown them both by her forlorn posture. "I said..." it was too late, Sesshomaru had already fallen to his knee's, laying an arm over her trembling backside. "I don't like you sad, be happy again. I'll do a monkey dance for you, would you like that?" (Hmmm, Sesshomaru dancin like a monkey. interesting.) He started to get up and perform but Kagome caught his arm, brushing the water away by the handfuls. "You don't have to do that. I just need some time to myself." she had placed a false giggle into the words, but it seemed Sesshomaru was getting wise to her personality, he still clung to his Kagome-san.

"I wont let you go out alone again, that monster must have done something to you." Sesshomaru swiped at his nose, sensing a foreign odor rubbed upon her clothes. Sharp fangs began to lengthen, his blood boiled to decimate that creature. "No one stands in lord Sesshomaru's way! My claws will see to that." he wanted to stalk out of her blurring vision, hairs on end at the retribution, the vengeance for Kagome's honor. No one lived to hurt her, not now, not ever! "Sessh, don't. Its okay. I just.......... sit with me, will you?" the tremble ran thick, causing the blinding fury to cease its torrent and return the innocence back into her friends face.

Gulping down the remaining hatred, the demon did as asked, happy to oblige to her request. "For you, Kagome, anything." he laid against the headboard, bringing Kagome up into his arms. It was like the roles of parenthood became reversed, Sesshomaru was as tender as a lamb, keeping his friend close to his heart. The place she would always remain. Taking in a breath, he felt the shaking still strong underneath Kagome's flesh. He would fix that.

"Living our lives, leave those fears behind.

Wrapped around in lies, song of the voiceless.

Wallowing in lies until we find a way.

Searching for the light for eternity."

(The beginning song for the English fuka mora.)

Kagome lifted her head from the crook in his neck, soothed by his harmonic voice as it sang. "Where did you learn to sing like that?"

The protector only shrugged his shoulders, cocking a serene smile, squeezing her tighter to himself. "I don't know, I just do it. You make me feel like singing." that was very romantic, if it had been coming from a man's point of view instead of a little kid. And if he meant to make her feel any better, it worked completely. Kagome nuzzled into the broadness of his chest, satisfied with his generosity. "Thank you, for being here for me."

Sesshomaru kept her head on his chest, feeling the up rise of many new things stir inside. "Think nothing of it," a strange glint fell over his eyes after saying this, they narrowed on the human dangerously, threateningly when an old stoic voice took control for only an unnoticed split second, "wench."

........................................

Kagome had fallen into a short nap; snuggled to the one she held so much affection for now. He was in all actuality, a giant marshmallow teddy bear. Sesshomaru did so much for her, never asking for anything else in return other than her affection. Once her lashes lifted to find him still cradling her, Kagome smiled to herself. 'Such a sweetie. To bad he isn't my kid. Or....er.....is he?' lifting up off of her living pillow, the glow of embarrassment radiated off her cheeks dramatically. Sesshomaru was wide awake, watching the way she slept, making sure nothing harmed her in such a vulnerable state. He was almost like a guard dog, ever watchful for his master's safety. Alert for any danger.

"Have you been up all this time? I didn't mean to fall asleep on you, you could've left anytime you liked." she covered her face with one hand, feeling the part of a complete dork. Kindly, Sesshomaru shook his head, allowing for his friend to rise up off of his body. "I don't mind, it's nice to know you're happy and safe. Bedside's.....your bed is a lot comfier than the floor or pallet." he smirked wildly, but never received any criticism from his truthful nature.

Jumping off the side of the mattress, Kagome straitened the wrinkles from her dress, placing any lose strands of hair back in place. "I need to get my errnads done before people start thinking me dead." the shutter of Kouga still out there somewhere in the forest sent chills to finger up her spine. How he got the impression she was HIS woman was beyond any comprehension, she didn't even like the guy that much. Sighing the displeasure of crossing paths with that man again made the sorrow well up at his news. 'He could have at least worded it better than saying "oh, he died." the idget.'

Sesshomaru sprung right besides her, sniffing out the rising tears. "Monkey dance. Monkey monkey." (Blame my cousin for telling me to write this in. its all her fault.) Immediately the forlorn thought passed yet again, springing to life laughter Kagome didn't think she possessed anymore. "Sessh, you goof ball, stop that. I'm fine." a hand flew up to her mouth, hiding the widening grin. This man was a master at making others laugh; perhaps he was a comedian of some sort before this amnesia thing. (HAHA! Sessh a comedian, ya right.)

They both went into the living room, picking up the scattered herbs and medicines that had spread across the floor. Just when she waved to finally get things done, Sesshomaru came up behind her, a determined expression covering his features. "I'm not letting you go out there by yourself again. We can walk together, but I don't trust the others out there with you." a somewhat mature tone filled his voice, though he still remained as mischievous as ever. Cocking one eyebrow, Kagome couldn't help but ask her companion this, it seemed every sudden violent flashback he withstood brought a new, older voice to arise, "how old are you now?"

Smiling broadly, the demon puffed out his chest, displaying his charming good looks. "I'm nine years old, going on ten." her jaw nearly dropped. Last night, he said he was seven. 'Those flash backs...... he must be getting his memories back bit by bit. Hey, I should be happy.' after collecting herself, Kagome placed a finger up to protest, wanting him to remember just who it was that was in charge, "excuse me, but I am the adult." well, technically they both were, but that didn't matter. "I don't need you holding my hand, I can get through the woods by myself and YOU can just stay here and keep bayou company." Sesshomaru turned towards the snoozing fur ball, growling at the feline distastefully.

He thus returned his focus back on Kagome, smirking all the same at her petit stature. "And what are you gonna do if I don't? IM the one that's stronger." one of his eyebrows rose, indicating his point and arrogant demeanor. 'Damn. For a nine year old, he sure was educated on debates.' Kagome leaned away from his smug stare, stiffening her jaw stubbornly while squaring her shoulders. "Your also the one that will get a switchin if you keep back talking me." her threat made the cockiness vanish, Sesshomaru slumped his shoulders, sniffing into the air for any awkward scent just to make sure.

"But I smell him, out there somewhere, just waiting to gobble you up. Please let me go. I don't want to stay here all alone, and I don't want you to be in any danger." she was ready to shake her head in protest, but that helpless look he gave, that tremble of concern in his words. 'Ahhhh how can I resist?' "Fine, fine. But if you go wild on me and don't behave, you're in for it when we get back."

Sesshomaru jumped around, cheering of his success. "Will there be any kids my age I can play with?" he bounced around, full of life and over flowing energy once again, breathless for her answer. "Eh....well, I don't know. There are a lot of kids, but..... Your gonna have to be really gentle with them, no matter what. Like you said, your a lot stronger than most so be nice." he followed close behind her, like a shadow almost, never straying too far from Kagome. When something interesting caught his attention, he immediately chased after it, poking the object playfully. Some of the birds scurried away, not wanting to be touched if he so spotted any. And surprisingly, Sesshomaru was thoughtful enough to pick whet ever flower still bloomed during this transition of seasons, presenting them to Kagome proudly. He was such a charming person underneath that handsomely scary surface.

They came into the village, with many stares Kagome knew would fall over them. She scrunched her shoulders in an insecure manner, only imagining what was going through everyone's head. She had a dreading hunch of what it was. A lonely girl, whose lover had died in war, with a strange over ecstatic man skipping the entire way next to her. 'Oh yes, my reputation is officially ruined.' she hurriedly delivered many of the herbs, growing red at Sesshomaru's constant questions and embarrassing actions. Once they reached an old friends house, Sesshomaru was already impatient, fidgeting around, turning towards the small group of children in the middle of the road.

"Kagome-san, can I go play with those kids over there? Please please pleeeeeeeease?" he fell to his knee's, tilting his head in that begging puppy dog fashion. It nearly melted her heart, if it hadn't had caused all the red to seep into her cheeks at the constant gossip. Turning her head in all directions, Kagome clutched the basket nervously, wishing she hadn't allowed him to tag along after all. "Yes sure, go and get out of my hair." she mumbled, pushing the demon away as quickly as she could with the remaining dignity she still held.

Kiade watched her young friend struggling with the odd man, brows furrowing in curiosity at the way he scampered away, waving a thanks to Kagome. "That be a strange one you traveled with. Perhaps he is touched in the head?" Kagome twirled back around, groaning at the old woman's observant personality. "What was your first clue?" the elder shook her head, smiling at the innocent affection they held for one another. But the curiosity of the matter still clung to the conversation, the elder sat upon a rocking chair on her porch, still observing the exhaustion in her young comrades movements, "maybe so, what ale's him child? And how did you manage to become his charge?"

Blushing wildly, she quickly explained the story in a nutshell; Kagome thus handed over the package of powder from her basket. She could detect the mistrust between the old woman's words; it was clearly in the energy she produced, along with many of the villagers. It was the same as when her and Inuyasha first moved into town. "Sesshomaru isn't really a bad person to live with, but he has......problems sometimes, making it difficult to control him." they watched as he observed the children play tag, obviously too shy to join in just yet. Silence fell over the two women, both carefully eyeing the way he stood there expectantly, both is hands behind his back in an unsure gesture. "He be a demon Kagome. I would watch myself with that lot."

"I know. I knew from the moment I saw him. but........ He looks so much like Inuyasha. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Not all demon's are evil Kiade, and by just looking at Sesshomaru, I doubt he is." Kagome sighed, somewhat doubtful of that last part said. At certain times, even the gentleness in her fluffy friend disappeared to an unseen fury, a violent personality that held more wisdom and power than any could fathom. "Yet you still allow him residence in your home? You take a large risk my dear, I don't want anything to happen to you old friend" "Sesshomaru is too protective of me to allow anything like that to happen." she giggled blissfully, the warmth of his curious personality always causing joy in her heart. "He thinks of me like his big sister, or even his mother. He just better remember who it is that helped him, fed him, and gave him a place to stay when he lost his memory."

The old woman smiled, now watching, as Sesshomaru became a hiding place for his large stature. He remained perfectly still, trying to keep the snickers in check so the kid that was IT wouldn't know about the little girl behind him. Too late, now Sesshomaru was the one that had to seek out the others. "You be careful Sessh. Watch your strength." Kagome called, receiving him to wave back as he fell to the ground on all fours, sniffing out the hiders. "Now that's cheating." she shook her head affectionately at his antics, returning her focus to Kiade. "He's a handful." "Aren't most men?"

.................................................

Sesshomaru crawled over to the giggling little girl behind a white gate, smirking at her less-than-covering hiding spot. "I found you Rin." he peeked over, scaring the girl into a wild laughter. "You have to tag me first." she bolted out, dashing for the safe spot as fast as her little legs could carry her, but it was never faster than a demon's speed. Some of the other kids cheered her on, but Sesshomaru was already descending on her, catching Rin by the leg and bringing her up to face him. "Tag! Your it." he poked her gently on the nose with his other hand, sending the tiny girl into unstoppable laughter, her eyes bright in joy. She was beginning to love this new stranger; he knew how to make anything fun.

A shriek ran high into the air as Rin's mother came barreling up to the demon; outraged he had hold of her child in such a manner. "Unhand her at once you DEMON! Never lay another finger over my child again or I'll have you run out of this village in a heartbeat. Or better yet, stoned to death." she yanked Rin from his clutch, cradling her daughter protectively from the towering man. Small traces of blood trickled from the girl's ankle, she had apparently been snatched from Sesshomaru's hands before he could loosen his claws, and now, the mother only saw gore and hatred for this creature. Immediately, the mother yelled of such a wound, screaming in his face hysterically. "YOU MONSTER! Look what you've done to her!"

The yells went frantic; many of the men poked their heads out to see what all the noise was about. Sesshomaru opened his mouth to defend himself, but that woman's screams threw his explanation right back down his throat, having the demon choke guiltily by what he had accidentally done. The hiding children were whisked away by the parents, afraid that this creature had been stalking them all along, ready to feast upon the young flesh. Knives and pitchforks sprouted into the human's hands, the threats spilled over into the demon's ears. Sesshomaru backed away, but they were behind him too, tears of fear dangled off his lashes.

"I didn't mean to...... it was an accident." he whispered out, still finding twisted face's spat at him, scream and poke their weapons menacingly. He was surrounded, and the inflating mob was closing fast. The terror began to melt away by the reddening in his eyes, his scrunched up body loosened at each advance the villagers made. 'Kill them.' the voice spoke, deep and heartless to the cowering demon.

'No..........I cant.' Sesshomaru tried to regain control over his body, hunching up his muscles yet again to await the first blow. The other person inside, he was trying to regain control, to escape from his dark prison for these people's blood.

'You can, and you will. You must survive!' it was from the locked away secret place in his head, gritting out the command like the authorities individual it was, demanding compliance.

'Kagome-san said I shouldn't hurt others. Its wrong.'

'It is not wrong when you wish to live. Now fight!'

'No.'

'Do as I say.'

'I don't want to hurt anyone.'

The growl from the other person was loud and clear, and Sesshomaru didn't know how much longer he could keep the other under control. The others will was very strong, so much stronger than he, and so much more determined to win. Clenching both lids shut, Sesshomaru felt the rage boiling, ready to overflow and consume these humans if they even attempted to touch him. The instincts of panic and survival began to drain the young minded Sesshomaru's energy, weakening him just enough for the other to resurface. The outraged demon lord scratched and clawed his way through the many doors of his mind, leaving a searing burn in the places he crashed through, demolishing the chains that kept him held back. 'No! I wont let you hurt them. they may be many, and misguided, but I wont let them get killed for it.' "I WONT HURT THEM!" he dodged the first thrown attack, sidestepping a blade to nearly fall into a pointed pitch fork.

ducking and manuevering around the onslaught of sharp pointy objects, Sesshomaru lept high into the air as the bodies crashed into waves, pouncing onto a sterdy nearby roof top. the burning red in his eyes spread, his claws lengthened dangerously at the crowd below. 'make them suffer, make them pay. they are only human's.' arrows soared towards the demon's head, but he caught a handfull, snapping them in half as he swiped his hand around to form a glowing whip like attack.

his hand held weapon crashed down in the middle of the group, flinging dirt and debree into the air. no one was killed, but many clutched gapping lacerations, howling of the monster unleased. 'no.......what am i doing?' Sesshomaru allowed the glow to fall away, subsiding into nothing as he hurtled himself back on the ground were Kagome pushed around many large men. "get out of my way. Sesshomaru! where are you?" the weakest of the fighters scampered to safety from this monster, throwing their weapons aside for a hasty retreat while the more burly of the lot held Kagome back, wanting to protect her just as much as the rest of the villagers.

just the sight of them touching her sent the fury to sweep back into his eyes, infuriated by their ignorance to even consider they had a right to lay their filthy fingers on HIS Kagome. "get your hands off of her!" the snap came out from clenched fangs, he flung a man aside into a house, then broke the hand of another that had ahold of Kagome's bruising arm. the mob gave a respectfull distance for the two people, the quietness gave the demon enough oppertunity to have the crimson fade away into gold. he was growling at the vilagers, frantic for his friends safety.

Kagome instantly reached for Sesshomaru's face, pulling his sweeping attention from the others directly to her, scanning to make sure he was alright. "did they hurt you? are you okay?" Sesshomaru nodded his head, thankfull she didn't appear injured, which was lucky for those cowareing humans in the distance. the tears leaked out at his regretfull actions against the people, but right now, he was in too much shock, counting his blessing Kagome had put a stop to this before the other demon found his way to the surface. he felt so guilty for hurting them, so utterly afraid for their safety against the roaring monster inside.

"that thing tried to kill us!" one of the men shouted, sending a chorus of profanities to lift into the air. after she had wipped away the last of his tears, the woman turned a scowling face over to the lot of them. "what did he do to desreve this anyways?" for the longest moment, no one answered, unsure of what really started this in the first place. their ignorant silence forced an uncharacteristic snarl from her lips, almost making Kagome to see red herself. "he attacked my daughter." came Rin's mother, even though she couldn't be seen. turning to Sesshomaru, Kagome prayed that wasn't the case. perhapes this was a misunderstanding, a thing that arose more often than not when it involved a demon in the proximity. Sesshomaru quickly shook in disaggrement, bowing his head low still in fright. "we were just playing hide and seek." he whispered sheepishly.

"did you all hear that? he was just playing with the kids, Sesshomaru would never harm them." "and how would you know? do you usually hang out with monster's all day?" these people were begining to send Kagome into a fighting, spitting, foaming at the mouth rage. they were so predjudice, the entire village. "tell them what happened." Kagome urged him, bestowing the evil eye to those that still held their swords and bows, ready to spring after her friend again. "i taged Rin, and held her up by the leg to catch her cus she's really fast for a little girl, and her mom got mad at me. i didn't mean to scratch her. i didn't have any time to move my claws, but i was trying to be really carefull like you told me too Kagome."

she patted his head, feeling his body tremble all over. "its okay Sessh, i know you didn't mean to harm anyone." several snorts came into focuse, a man growled out the obviouse to everyone, "if he didn't mean to hurt us, then why the hell did he just attack us with that weird thing that tore a hole into my store over there and anyone else in its path?" there was alot of damage done by that attack, but again Kagome took her friends side, puffing her chest out in anger while holding his trembling hand, "he was just trying to defend himself. you may see a grown demon standing here, but in his mind he is only a child. he's from the war, the same one you all refused to participate in. and im sure he was fighting to protect the likes of you from those in Naraku's armies. now put your weapon's down and leave him alone, you should be honored to have a guardian such as he, not trying to murder him." she crossed her arms determindly, fuming over their gull to destroy someone as soft and innocent inside as Sesshomaru. if they could even destroy that is.

"it be true, he has amnesia. so lay down your hate. Kagome would never lie to us, nor harbor a threat to your families lives." Kiade stepped from the crowd, her bow slung across her shoulder incase anyone still persisted in this meaningless blood shead. several of the children came tumbling behind the elder, circling around Kagome and Sesshomaru. "leave him alone you big meanies." "pick on someone your own size." "you'll have to go through us to get him." the parents gulped, but did as the elder had instructed, watching the way the kids protected their new playmate.

after the mob began to branch away, and the children were pulled into their homes for supper, Kagome hugged her demon friend tightly. "i was so worried something happened to you." 'she shouldn't be worried about me, im more dangerouse than she knows.' Sesshomaru sighed sadly at his hidden secret, but smiled anyways to comfort her, wrapping his arms around Kagome protectivly. "i was more worried about hurting you or the others. i scare myself sometimes." Kiade tapped them on the heads, watching the concerned tears of Kagome evaporate with the setting sun. it was true she cared for this demon, more than any knew at the time. and by this constant wailing, Kiade was close to smacking some common sense into her young friend.....that is, if Sesshomaru would allow it. he truely was something out of a war by that display, enough so it frightened the elder archer at his unrealized skills. "i am truely sorry this happened, it is only natural for them to worry for their loved ones. but it is good to see you refrained from murdering the entire village, though i saw it in your eyes ready to do so."

Sesshomaru blinked many times, turning away from this old woman so she couldn't see his golden orbs. He was much like a sad, guilt-ridden boy, wanting to apologize for his mistakes. "I can't control the other me sometimes. I don't think he likes me for not attacking." the grip on his shirt tightened, Kagome nearly choked on what he said, afraid there for a minute. Kiade nodded approvingly to his honesty and concern, using the end of her bow to bring his face up to hers, "people can not control you unless you give them the power to do so. And it is not power that makes you special, it is how you use it. The choices you make determines the man you shall become, so remember this when you feel that red fury return." the old miko's attention now fell upon her stunned friend, knowing the shock must be overpowering her.

"Don't fear this Kagome, I thought you knew what you were getting into when you adopted him." a sly smirk fell over the elders thin lips. "He has much to learn, you must teach him well before he fully regains all that he once was. Perhaps then, he will remember your lessons and apply them when he reverts back."

"Reverts.....back?" Kagome felt confused, unable to see what her friend mint by this riddle talk. "You don't expect him to remain a child for the rest of his life?" the young woman shook her head, blushing at her stupidity. "Even if he never fully regains his memories, he shall still age gradually like any child would. And if he does miraculously remember his lost self, then the person you see now shall merge with the one that once was, placing two halves into one. I have seen it happen before, to a woman that had once been a musician. She had no memories of playing, yet she could. And as she regained what was lost, she still remembered what had transpired through the days, and became a better person for It." the old woman leaned heavily on her cane, eyeing Sesshomaru all the same. "I do not know who you were before, but let us hope, even if you are tainted in a past time, you use this kindness shown to you to grow into a better man. Let the memories created now show you a grander life that can still be. Take care of Kagome, she is high strung and needs someone to lean upon during this trying time."

Kagome gasped at Kiade's insult, stiffening her jaw in defense, "KIADE! I'm the one that's supposed to be taking care of him! He's already following me around like a body guard, don't encourage him." the elder chuckled fondly, turning towards her house for a hasty retreated. "I am old, not blind. I will hope to see you two more often. Take care my friends." and with that, Kiade disappeared into her hut, ready to relax for the remainder of the evening.

Just a little fluster by that conversation, Kagome wanted to smack someone right about now. 'Like I need someone to look after me. I'm not a little kid anymore!' she took Sesshomaru's hand, stomping the rest of the way to the edge of the forest. "I can't believe Kiade sometimes. She's just so...grrrr.... arrrrrrg! And don't think I need your protection either mister, I happen to be a grown woman." she snorted out, sniffing frustrated into the air. The demon only kept an innocent face, inwardly sneering at his new position as Kagome's guardian. "Don't worry Kagome-san, I'll always keep you safe." "That's right you better." she halted, turning towards his smirking expression. "No, I mean.....stop that mind game stuff with me or no dessert."

A man came barreling out of his house at the sight of his old acquaintance, waving both arms enthusiastically in the air to catch her attention. "Kagome, wait." he huffed, smiling giddily at the roll of her eyes towards his arrival. He must have been slow, dumb, or blind because in his mind, Kagome adored his constant annoying conversations. " Hello Hojo. What is it you want?" the man straitened up, never even noticing the white haired demon standing beside her, watching this strangers every move with an assassins eye. Hojo handed over the container he had hidden away in his shirt, beaming proudly to himself, "my mother, she wanted me to give you this soup after we heard about Inuyasha." "W-what?! How did you hear about that?" Kagome yanked her hand out of Sesshomaru's, the sadness seeped into her face for the third time today.

"Kouga came into town earlier, spreadin the word of who wasn't coming back. I am truly sorry for your lose, he was a good person.......sometimes." Kagome took the bowl, hands shaking; lip quivering at her deceased loved one. It was like every turn she made brought back the constant reminder, always they're to haunt her every move. "Perhaps I should walk you home, to see to it that you get there safely. I could even stay the night, and visit often for help around the place." what the hell was going on here?!!!! It seemed everyone was trying to move in on her now that Inuyasha was out of the picture. What nerve. A low growl fell from Sesshomaru, his teeth lengthened to his chin while the hairs stood on end.

It was then that the human male noticed her companion, hunching his shoulders towards the much taller demon casting him an ugly glare towards his new rival. "She doesn't need an idget like you bothering her, so go home to ya mama sissy boy." Sesshomaru had wedged himself between the two, keeping Kagome well behind him in that aggravating male arrogance. "Sesshomaru, stop insulting Hojo like that, you should be polite. He's just offering his help." 'Even if I was going to tell him take a nose dive off the steepest cliff in that sweet fashion of mine.' but still the demon held his ground, towering over the man to show his superiority.

"I-i-i see you already have an escort. Can you trust him lady Kagome, he looks rather roguish?" Hojo backed away saying this, holding his hands up to show he meant no threat. At the moment the last words caught in the demon's ears, Sesshomaru nearly lunged at him, having only the tender hands of Kagome to hold him at bay. "I happen to be Kagome's new guardian, of course she can trust me! How dare you try to steal her away! She's MY Kagome!! MINE! Beat it pipsqueak before I show you what I can do." and in that heated threat, the man went fleeing, crying for his mama.

Kagome swatted Sesshomaru's head; embarrassed to no ends and extremely pissed he had proclaimed her HIS object. "I am NOT yours so lets get that strait. I am a human being that belongs to NOONE!" again she smacked him, growing red in the face not just by rage but also by..........okay, it was all rage. 'How I wish he had a prayer bead around his neck. Then I'd make him kiss the dirt for that.' she stormed down the darkened path, spouting out any insult towards the demon she could come up with from the top of her head, grumbling the entire way. Sesshomaru rubbed his struck parts, huge bumps crowned his throbbing skull. "I was just doing my job."

He turned to follow, but gave the house this Hojo lived in a threatening stare, making a mental note to keep Kagome far far away from that man. only one word sang into his head, one that had undeniable authority and full possession in its tone, 'mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine!!!' and Kagome always would be. He swore it. No one would ever attempt to take her away, he would see to that. It was a deadly promise from not only the child made, but also that cold voice deep down inside. SHE was HIS. Forever.


	6. You love her

Vixon: this chapter is a little more angsty than most, but I guess it was bound to happen now that he realizes there's more than one of him in his head. Thanks for the reviews, and keep them coming. I already have another chapter on the way so if you want more, give me your reviews or no soup for you!

**ch6 _"you love her"_**

They walked down the forest road, Kagome silent and uninterested in Sesshomaru's constant apologies. He had embarrassed her beyond words, and threatened an acquaintance. Why was he so difficult? Sesshomaru kept his head downcast, watching his feet kick stones and falling leaves, only giving quick glances up to Kagome to be sure she was still mad at him, which she was. 'I wonder if I'll get any dessert for all the trouble I've caused.' and then another thought came to mind, one he had forgotten due to the hysteria today. His mission to find out that this Inuyasha was. The name was so familiar, or was it people said it so often he nearly felt like it had always been apart of his life?

Shrugging, Sesshomaru came up beside Kagome, staring down at her heated expression. "Kagome-san? Who's......?" "Save it." Kagome interrupted, holding a hand out to halt his words. She didn't want to say something she would regret later, so his silence meant everything right now if he wished her temper to stay in check. Bowing down to her wishes, the demon did as she said, going to wait just a little while longer before asking about the mysterious man. Another question soon came to mind, causing Sesshomaru to glance down at his large claws, then to the small size of Kagome-san. A flashback of what she told the villagers kept replaying itself, confusing him, forcing a lump to wedge itself in his throat as the child mind began to collapse into something deeper.

_'You may see a grown demon standing here, but in his mind he is only a child.'_ That is what she had said, but was it true? Sesshomaru felt his face, feeling the strong chin, the stubbles come in, and all that didn't feel like a child. Their skin was soft, fragile, and not to mention he was twice the size if not more of the village kids. The realization was true; he was not what he thought.

'I'm an............adult.' it weighed heavily on his heart, causing him to shut his eyes sadly. And lets not forget when ever the mention of this Inuyasha came to be heard; Kagome nearly fell over in crying fits. He was the last thing she needed right now.

"That's why you don't like me to touch you, isn't it?" instantly, Kagome twirled her head to look at him, having heard that sadness laced into his smooth voice. "What?" it was the only word she found to speak. Again Sesshomaru turned to her, neither smiling nor playing. "You don't say it out loud, but your afraid of me touching you. Because................." he blinked several times to banish the tears, feeling his gut twist violently, "I cant remember who I am, who I was. I just know I'm dangerous. I don't want to hurt you Kagome-san, you're the last person I would ever want to get hurt. Especially by me. This morning I said I was nine, now I think I'm eleven. What age am I really?"

His eyes pleaded for her, they had stopped walking, with Sesshomaru standing directly in front of her. "Tell me what you know." he ordered, pressing further into the subject. Kagome could only bite her lip, reaching a hand out to steady the demon in his frightened anger. "I don't know. I just found you, lying in a ditch bleeding to death. That's it. You look, maybe twenty-seven, but I'm not sure. We may never know your true past." he backed away when her fingers came too close, he felt the other resurfacing. The red fury. "I'm violent, so stay away. He wants to kill you." Sesshomaru placed his clawed hands over the sides of his head, trying to bade back the red fury best he could. "Run Kagome!"

Stumbling to the side of the road, Sesshomaru leaned against a tree, heaving to keep the screaming demon down just a little while longer. Her hands held his shoulders, trying to aid any way possible but he threw the human at least ten feet, having her land hard on the dirt. "I said run!!" the hatred wouldn't be held down for long, the disgust in himself, in the way she reacted to his presence, he couldn't help but feel hurt. And in that moment of weakness, the other demon came to be, controlling the body while the child hid in his mind to cry. "He gave you a chance to escape, but I see you are too ignorant to take such needed advice." the voice was cold, collected, stoic in its dripping threat.

Standing to his full height, Sesshomaru faced the sprawled human woman, allowing the length of his claws to grow in size. "For patching up my wounds, I will be honored to make your death swift. But if you struggle, I can grantee nothing." a tiny raise in the corner of his lip left Kagome speechless. Her body felt weighted, useless. She couldn't command it to move. All's she could do was stare at this monster, wide-eyed, breathless as he approached. This Sesshomaru took his time, flexing his claws to regain the feel, readying himself for a murder. "Don't." Kagome squeaked, now beginning to scramble away.

"You humiliated me Ka-go-me. I can not allow you to live." Sesshomary would've reached for his sword, but knew it was back at her cottage, somewhere amongst his blood stained clothes. She bolted to her feet, running to her home, wanting to escape this things clutch. But she only managed to run headlong into the wall of his chest; he was taking advantage of his demonic speed to toy with her. "I told you not to struggle, but much like that basterd brother of mine, you never listen." he took a hold of her arm, gripping it tightly until it would surely snap into thousands of little pieces. Kagome let out a pain filled sound, wanting to scream for help. But who held the power to stop Sesshomaru? No one.

"Please don't do this Sesshomaru. Don't you recognize me?" he squeezed tighter, breaking the circulation to her hand. "I'm you friend, the one who helped you." Kagome still tried to reach the one she knew was there, the Sesshomaru that loved her, that wanted her to always remain safe by his side. "Its me, Kagome-san. You said you'd always keep me safe." he drew back to slice a good sized gap into her neck, to rip the jugular out and watch the waterfall of blood spew forth. "SESSHOMARU! Help me." his eyes narrowed, his claws swiped a scratch on the side of her neck. With her gasp, he shook his head, returning the violence back to its prison.

"K-Kagome...?" he loosened his hold, watching her crumble to the ground crying, holding the scratch. "Oh my god!" he hollered, tears leaking down his face. "I told you to run......... I told you I was dangerous." Sesshomaru didn't know if he should touch her or not, his hand wavered between them, unsure, unwilling to ever place a finger on Kagome again. He eyed her blood on the tips of his claws, repulsed by the stench, wanting to wash away the memory. Looking deeply into Kagome's face, he let his bottom lip tremble, pulling away from this woman to ensure her safety, "I'm so sorry." Sesshomaru leapt to his feet, disappearing into the forest to escape her. He wanted to vanish into nothingness, because that's all he was......nothing. He was a nobody, safe with no one. Anything could trigger the other to step forth, destroying everyone without a second thought.

'I'm evil. I don't belong here. I should have died and never hurt anyone else ever again.'

Kagome rubbed the scratch; it was hardly deep but still bled. It looked far worse than what Sesshomaru took it for. "Wait, Sessh, don't go." her words fell into the dense foliage, never to retrieve an answer. He was gone, afraid of himself and of her. 'He must think I hate him. I could never.............. I wish he could understand that.'

Sesshomaru practically flew through the branches, running away from the one person he never wanted harm to come too. She must hate him now, wanting nothing more to do with someone like him, and that thought tore a large gapping hole in his heart. Kagome was his everything, and he had hurt her. Tears streamed down his face as he ran, whipping back into his hair, sparkles that disappeared into the dirty silver strands. The forest became a dense green blur, nothing could be distinguished, not even the calls of the woman he cared for so deeply awakened the child from his thoughts. After finally slowing, the demon skidded to a halt just in front of a calming lake, splashing his claws repeatedly into the waters to be rid of that stench of her.

'I'm a monster, a ruthless MONSTER!' the smell refused to dissipate, still flooding his nostrils whenever he brought them up for inspection. Her blood wouldn't wash away, would never leave him in peace. Rubbing them harder, Sesshomaru sliced the dagger like weapons into the rocky bed, infuriated and stressed beyond words. The knots in his stomach refused to lesson, continuing in the winding of his emotions until the large demon collapsed into the water, barely able to hold himself up from falling face first and drown.

"Why cant I remember?" new tears were given birth, slinking down into the liquid rapidly. "Why do I have to be a monster?" his voice was hoarse, full of hatred for himself. "I just want to be with you Kagome. You'll never forgive me, never see me the same way." clasping one hand over his eyes to fight down the sorrow, Sesshomaru remained on his knee's, wanting to hide from the world. No one could ever possibly understand one such as he, nor would they ever trust or except him either. He was............ alone. Turning to stare at the glass-like surface of the water, the demon frowned deeply at the sight, the horrid reflection of what he truly was.

"Kagome..... I don't want to be a monster any more. I just want................................. you." he just watched himself quietly, the sight burning his eyes when he used his hand to feel around the deformities. Those pointed ears, the protruding fangs............... the strange marking's on his cheeks and forehead, all of it was disgusting to him. He could never be like those men that lusted over Kagome. It was a reason he loathed Hojo so much, that man was practically a saint, with the mug of a model to go with it.

He was a demon, and she................... she was surely an angel. Neither heaven nor earth would allow them to be together. 'I don't just think of her as my friend,' Sesshomaru harassed himself, watching the grown man's reflection pinch his brows to a saddened expression, 'that's right, you don't.' there was that voice again, giving pearls of truth.

"Then.... then what do I feel? My heart hurts to think that-that YOU made her bleed. You made her cry." Sesshomaru awaited an answer, holding his breath until his other half finished that uncaused sigh of his. 'She is a weakness, a distraction that I do not need. It is best you forgot about that creature and just merge with me, though I do not wish to hold your pathetic memories or emotions, it is the only way I suppose.'

"But I cant. Kiade said that we would be one. I don't want to leave Kagome, I never want to leave her." Sesshomaru tipped his head to rest upon his chest, shutting his eyes forlornly as the other hissed at the whisper. 'I refuse to have any relations with that human.'

"It isn't your decision! I wont let you hurt her again, or anyone else. Why can't you just disappear and leave us alone? I was happy with Kagome, she took care of me and you always try to push her away!"

'Because I was here first! That is MY body you parade around in, making a fool of my honorable name, and I want it back. How soon you forget that I am the stronger.' the other lurched forward, clawing his way into possession as the child fought him off, clenching both hands to his pounding head. Gritting his teeth, Sesshomaru scrambled around, feeling the burn in his veins heat into his shuteyes. The redness was returning, and the other was beating him down into a very dark place. 'If you refuse to merge with me, I shall just have to lock you away and never let you out.'

Deep inside the demon's mind, the two stared the other down. The large, stoic figure towered over the tiny 11-year-old version of him. The boy held his ground firmly, fist's raised, determination brewing inside his core. "You don't care who you hurt, you don't even care about Kagome after all she's done for me and you." the boys lip quivered; his fang pierced a fat drop of blood on his flesh.

The adult watched the child, listening to his babble in silent satisfaction. Once the younger ceased his talk, the elder one brought out his low, commanding voice, keeping it a velvet growl, "I have seen things you can not possibly imagine. I have done things you would never dream could be done, so do not patronize me little one. If you had become one with me, your tune would be entirely different when it came to filth you call humans." "You mean the dreams I have?! The memories of the things YOU did to those people?!!" the child didn't care about the power his mature self held, he just demanded answers without losing a piece of himself to see.

The adult narrowed his pupils; never did his face betray his thoughts, and the whispers the child could only faintly hear. "I have done things to survive, many countless things to gain what I wish to be mine. It is just who I am."

"But it's not who I am!!!" the child clenched his fist's tighter, feeling his claws eat into his skin. The boy felt tears rising, fogging his vision by their intrusion, "I just want to be with Kagome. I want to have a family, to have a home. I love her." that statement gained him a hard smack to the face, forcing the child to fall on the ground before he even knew he had been struck. The adult loamed over him, eyes red, and lips in a tight line. "Never say that." he growled, low and dangerous.

The boy rubbed the bruise, sniffling as the other bore holes into his form. "I love Kagome." he said defiantly, receiving a swift kick into the gut, causing the kid to gag for air from the coursing pain. Tiny Sesshomaru gave the evil glare up to his other self, gasping for a breath, standing unsteadily on his feet. The adult had to give it to the small version of himself, the kid had spunk, either making him a very courageous demon or a very dumb fool. What ever it may be, the adult raised a curious brow, waiting for the child to say those damning words again.

Spitting out a bit of blood, the child hugged one arm to his stomach, wiping away the spit. "You can't change the way I feel, no matter how senseless you beat me. And you know it." "I am giving you this chance to balance your options. If you insist upon this fancy with the weaker species, I have no alternative but to destroy this distraction or be rid of you one way or another." the child backed away from the iciness laced within that threat, shaking his head in denial.

"You.... you wouldn't." but his silence was all that was needed to confirm his fear. "Why are you so heartless? How could I ever be apart of something like you, of someone that would just........ Just...... " Sesshomaru raised his hand and back slapped the sniveling child, forcing the tears to splash away into the darkness. "Grow up, and be a man."

Rubbing his struck cheek, the boy growled, squaring his shoulders to the one he loathed so intensely, "your not the boss of me! Only Kagome can...." "I said forget about that wench!" this was the first time he had ever raised his voice, and it was enough to send the cold fingers of death to play up and down the Childs spine.

After the red began to vanish from the adults eyes, the child scrunched his face up, squinting his own eyes to observe his other self's emotions, to listen to the nearly hidden thoughts and feel the churning emotions rampage within. "You......." he began hesitantly, gazing up at the calming demon before him, "you love her........ Don't you?" the adult bared his fangs fiercely, extending his claws to take another swipe at the child. "Love is for the weak! You are my weak half and I will destroy it like I have done so before! Never will I merge with you. NEVER!" he took another swing at the child, but tiny Sesshomaru dodged, finding the other becoming slow and clumsy now in fury.

"I'm only the half that you forgot about, that you tried to hid away. For all we know, I'm your conciounse. Or that little boy that never got any attention, that never had anyone say they loved him and mean it." then the realization struck the boy, "I'm not your better half..." the boy stopped his retreat, halted all his jumps to dodge those deadly strikes. The adult came lunging at the tiny version of himself, lost in all the rage while the boy just gave a sweet tender smile, standing up strait and tall before announcing his discovery, "I'm the inner you."

Sesshomaru snarled, falling into a hole that opened into the battlefield of their shared minds. The boy watched as his other half vanished, cursing and spatting of his hatred for the human race.

Opening his eyes to the setting sun, Sesshomaru looked around the lake, relieved he had managed to win that little internal struggle and retrieved a little bit of answers from his less than cooperative self. 'But what will I do now?' he drooped his head, swirling a finger to send waves across the waters surface. He had to find the answers to this enigma, and hopefully not merge with such a violent individual to discover them.

The golden colors sprayed a twinkling scene before his eyes, the stars winking as they lit in the night sky, and then finding themselves reflected in the lake. It was so beautiful; he wished Kagome were here to share it with. She would enjoy this spectacle more than he. Sighing softly, Sesshomaru scooted to the shore, allowing the last of the sun's rays to dry his soaked clothes. The coolness was setting in, along with the sounds of night. Hugging himself, Sesshomaru swiveled his eyes around the grey shadows, humming the monster song.

He shut out the rest of the world, not wanting to fear it. He was a great demon, his other self said so, and by the way he carried himself it had to be true so fear wasn't an option. That's when he heard it, through the hooting owls call and the swaying of the clashing tree limbs, Sesshomaru heard her call. Kagome's cry.

Lifting his head from his knee's, he focused on the direction, sniffing lightly into the air to determine his friends where abouts. "Kagome..." nearly jumping from his spot, the demon took one step before stopping himself. "No," Sesshomaru told himself, pulling away from the direction the call came from. "I cant go to her, I'll only hurt her again." his lids were half shut, narrowing on the horrific fact. "I cant..." but her scream haunted his thoughts, pricking his ears when it came again. That was all he needed. The idea of her in danger drummed something fierce and primal in his heart, tugging the demon into a full-blown run to reach his beloved friend. He was her guardian, the honor bestowed to him by the high miko of the village, and be damned if he was going to turn back on his promise. "I'm coming Kagome!"

Breaking through the brush, the silver demon caused a dust cloud to lift into the air, blanketing the road with its brown cloud. The figures of two people were seen easily, with the fighting woman struggling intensely on the shoulder of the man. "Stop your yapping woman, I'm just taking ya somewhere safe." "I don't need you hauling me off like a sack of potatoes, put me down! I want to go to my own cottage if that's alright with you." it was Kagome snapping out to the husky voice, pounding another round of fist's into the man's backside.

"HA! I said I'd take care of ya and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. Inuyasha was a fool to leave you alone, I'd much prefer to keep you in my hut all snuggly next to me, were we can get better acquainted." Kouga snickered at the fantasy, slapping Kagome's butt to keep her still. That little love tap didn't go unnoticed by a certain snarling demon behind them.

"Put her down." came Sesshomaru's command, doused in the most sinister of sentence that sounded much like a threat. Kouga turned his head over his shoulder, having Kagome cease all her attempts to be free just to look at the familiar man waiting for the other to comply. "Who the hell..........?" a tremble ran in Kouga's voice, having him now face Sesshomaru.

The taiyouka hunched over, extending his claws swiftly enough to have the meeker nearly drop his cargo, "I said, put her down." Sesshomaru purred these words out slowly for him to follow, taking one step forward to close the distance. Kouga allowed for Kagome to fall on her weak legs, she immediately slapped him hard across the cheek to leave a blazing imprint of her hand. "That's what you get you pompous ASS!" the wolf demon took hold of his captive, yanking her behind himself as the dirt wafted away in the autumn breeze, revealing his opponent in the open of the road.

"Shit! No way, there's no fucking way!" Kouga bit out, trying to back away with a struggling woman behind him. Sesshomaru felt a jolt snag his muscles in a convulsion, having a quick flash of blood in his mind along with the silhouette of this man laughing on a mound of corpses, licking the blood from his claws.

_' "That was tasty my friend, sweet to the tongue. Just like............" ' _Sesshomaru blinked several times to disperse the image, feeling hate of a different kind envelope around his heart. ' Just like what?'

"Kouga, you moron, let me go before I let him rip you a new one." Kagome barked out, yanking her wrist from his loosening grasp. "But Kagome..... He's dangerous. He's...." she quickly kicked the wolf demon in the shines, making a mad dash to her protector. "He's my friend. And I'm this close to letting him use you as a chew toy." she walked the rest of the way over to her rescuer, nose in the air. Sesshomaru backed away from her, snarling like a rabid dog by her approach, "don't! Don't come any closer Kagome." this was a turn of events; she hardly had time to collect herself from the spatted demand.

Clenching one hand to her heart, she bit back a sob of rejection back down her throat, rooted to her spot in complete confusion to Sesshomaru's reaction. "But Sessh, it's...." the youkai only back tracked again, never taking his eyes off of his opponent, a slight curl tugged at the end of his lip. "Stay away."

Kouga didn't know if he was talking to him or Kagome, so he just raised his hands up nervously, signaling his defeat. Yet Kagome never moved, she just stared up at her friend, hoping against hope he had come to help her, to apologize when she knew deep down it wasn't really his fault in the first place. If only they could work this out together and control that violence inside his lost memories. "Sesshomaru, I'm not gonna leave you. I know you would never hurt me, so please stop beating yourself up about it." he only took a quick glance at the scratch now scabbing on her neck, spitting out a curse under his breath before regaining his aggressive ways.

She was too damn forgiving for her own good. Sesshomaru nearly felt like bolting into the forest again............. but that demon in the distance, a strange loathing came to mind whenever he thought about the wolf creature, especially when the thought involved Kouga and Kagome alone together. "I'll walk you home Kagome." the two demon's watched the other carefully, Sesshomaru just waiting for that traitorous hack to make a move. Brushing up against Kagome, and eyeing the man that glared daggers into his soul, Sesshomaru awaited for the human to comply with his chivalrous proposal.

"Wait a minute! You can't really trust this mutt, he's pure evil!" Kouga began to lurch forward and take up the woman again, but the taiyoukai blurred before his eyes, taking his extended hand in one iron grip, crushing the bones from the wrist down.

"NEVER touch her." the wolf demon's yelps forced Kagome's to round around them both and place a deliquete hand on top of Sessh's, relaxing his grasp just enough to allow Kouga a mean's to get free. "Sesshomaru, you don't need to break his arm off, it's all okay now." she beamed a reassuring grin, her breath locked away until the wrinkles in her guardians face smoothed. It wasn't hard for her warmth to smolder the flaming emotions to a quant sizzle, the gentle smile that graced her face put the ease back into the taiyoukai's chest, he immediately forgot about Kouga's attempt's to steal her away.

Kouga whimpered pathetically, snagging the stares from one another to focus directly on him. "You basterd! I'll get you for this... I'll AHHHGGG!!" Kagome took up the lopsided hand in hers; shutting this lunatic up before he really pissed Sesshomaru off. "You started it, so don't get all macho about this. If you had just kept those leaching hands to yourself, you wouldn't be in this mess." she tugged on the wolf demon towards her house, having him howl in screams the entire way, cursing wildly at the close taiyoukai that refused to allow him an inch of comfortable space with his Kagome-san.

Once at the cottage, Kagome worked her magic to make a splint for Kouga's hand, never changing her p.o.ed look. "Don't use it for a few weeks or it'll never heal. Got it?" biting back his unshed tears, he agreed, returning his glare on the watchful Sesshomaru in the corner. The silvery demon had his arms crossed in front of his chest, leaning against the wall, fully ready to take out his thieving enemy at any given chance. Sesshomaru's golden eyes sparkled in the dimming light, flickering of his brewing hatred. Kouga began to spat out another insult to Kagome's roomy, but thought better of it when a silver fang poked out into view, releasing a red flash to sweep across Sesshomaru's eyes and put the button on Kouga's lips.

Leaning in closely to the nearby woman, the wolf lowered his voice to subtle whisper, swiveling his pupils towards the shadowed corner to make positively sure no sneak attacks could be launched, "Kag, are you sure you can trust this dog face? Just look at him, and the way he's eyeballin me. You can't tell me that doesn't seem dangerous." a growl fell into Kouga's ears, forcing him to sit strait as a rod and give the dog demon's squeeze a respectful distance. This only prompted Kagome to stand, nearly insulted by that. "Sesshomaru wont kill you, so long as you actually be a gentleman in MY home. Isn't that right Sessh?" she turned to her companion, a smug expression crossing her features.

Sesshomaru just feh that remark, resembling a very disgruntled hanyou she once loved. "I can't help it if he accidentally falls on my claws and dies. It's outta my hands then." though he was teasing, the malice behind it was frightening to the already shaken wolf demon on the couch. Kagome only shook her head, shrugging at the comment, then retreated into the kitchen to fix up dinner. There was just no getting through to those two's hard heads, reminding her of two spoiled rotten children fighting one another for affection. "Hey, maybe I can..." Kouga began to stand, ready to follow her for some private talk, but was instantly thrown back down to his seat. "She doesn't need you." Sesshomaru had crossed the room before Kouga could even stand, throwing his ego down a few notches again.

This guy wasn't fooling around, and he damn sure made it clear he wasn't welcomed in Kagome's house. Staring up with a wicked sneer, Kouga couldn't help but make every hair upon Sesshomaru's neck stand on end. The contact alone made the taiyoukai's skin crawl, with nothing but the stench of death oozing from Kouga's pores. "What does she need then, a butcher like you? A shameless killer with a heart made of ice? I know what you are." Kouga leaned forward, glued to his seat, knowing he was pushing his luck with an already unstable individual loaming above him.

Squinting his eyes, the wolf bared his fangs, an invitation to meet one's maker, calling out everything primal in the two's veins. "You can't give her anything but an excruciating death. I've been waiting a long time to have dibs on her fine ass, so don't think I'm gonna go easy on you next time." that only led Sesshomaru to raise a curious brow, the dark stoic figure chuckled coldly to himself. Just when the taiyoukai was about to retreat into the kitchen after his friend, the adult side of him leapt forth in full force, clenching a tight hand around Kouga's throat.

"I'm shaking in my non-existent boots." the evilness drew the color from Kouga's face, causing perspiration to drench his squirming body. Every muscle convulsed from fear and lack of oxygen, spiraling the wolf demon's heart rate to course wildly against Sesshomaru's firming hold. This had to be the first time the adult Sesshomaru smirked, resembling that of a rabid mongrel ready to feast on innocent flesh. Kouga could only sputter, unable to form words for the struggle kept him well under the taiyoukai's control.

"Stay away from Kagome." and with that said, Sesshomaru thrusted the wolf demon roughly against the couch, strolling triumphantly to the kitchen. Rubbing his bruising neck, Kouga only starred after the monster, panting heavily from the threat squeezed into his life. 'How the hell did he survive?!'

As if reading that drifting thought, Sesshomaru turned his head while standing in the kitchen's doorframe, baring a very intimidating fang. "Your disappointed, I'm sure." and with that, the silvery demon came up beside his friend, trying to beam a very lovable expression to her. Kouga watched the way the once graceful movements became clumsy, the child-like part still hadn't forgiven himsel for earlier and made sure that he nor Kagome's skin ever touched. Huffing out a disgusted breath, the wolf demon walked to the front door, snarling a promise under his breath at the insult today, clenching and unclenching his hand.

"I'll make sure you stay dead this time basterd. Count on it."


	7. Twitterpated

Vixon: so here's where we start to see another side to the adult. One that Kagome cant help but feel a little uncomfortable around. And thanks for the reviews, though I must warn you tht in the next chaptr….hehe….. It will have some very…. Ummmm…. You'll just have to read it. NO SEX IF THAT'S WHAT YOUR THINKING! Henyais. And I mean that in the best possible way. -

**ch7 **"**_twitterpated"_**

Kouga went without anyone noticing, or caring, leaving an ease to settle inside of Sesshomaru's chest when the scent drifted in the distance. Kagome hummed a fetching tune to herself, stirring the fried rice in the pan, never feeling out of place like her little helper. The demon gave sideward glances now and then, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously, fumbling with spices to keep his mind busy. It was all he felt he could do to keep from staring at the human beside him. Unexpectedly, the two reached for the same container of sauce, brushing fingers against each other. Blushing wildly from the contact, Sesshomaru turned away from her, standing strait as a rod and completely quiet.

He had yanked his hand to his side, standing very still until Kagome gave a soft laugh at his shyness. "I think you need to get into some clean clothes and wash up. The only secret ingredient you've been adding into our dinner is dirt and leaves, which isn't gonna taste like chicken." it was amazing how quickly she forgot about the dangers, tossing caution to the winds and treating him like just another person she looked out for. She was truly something special, rare in a world ravished by hate and prejudice. Sesshomaru scrunched his shoulders, quickly looking up to her neck before responding.

"Sorry Kagome." he flexed his hands repeatedly, stiff as a board for the embarrassment. She grinned, but she still didn't receive any indication of him loosening up. "Are you okay Sessh? If its about this...." Kagome rubbed two fingers over the scratch to show him that it didn't bother her anymore if that was what concerned him. Sesshomaru only blinked several times, staring down at the rice, wanting to keep his body and mind separate until the world slowed down. He tried to keep his focus on anything but her forgiving features, but it was all in vain, sending a queasy feeling into his gut, throwing his stomach into a range of unusual feelings.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a monster, but I can't stop him sometimes. I wish he could see you like how I do... or perhaps, he does..... And it scares him." those words were so kind, truthful, and to the point. The taiyoukai shook from the grief, not even realizing that Kagome had placed both her arms around him to give some form of comfort. He tried so hard to be brave, but she always managed to see the marshmallow inside, the sweetness underneath all those layers of fluff and stuff. "He'll come around. Just give it time." tipping his head, Sesshomaru allowed his chin to rest on the top of Kagome's scalp, taking in her sweet scent as one would do from aroma candles.

Kagome giggled towards the sniffle, pulling away when the dampness covered her dress, making some spots darker than the other. "And now I'm all wet. See what you did." she teased, causing a small smile to form on her demon guardian's lips. Sesshomaru blushed, taking up her hands to gently squeeze them, "I don't want any harm to come to you, so I promise if I ever come after you again........." he stopped, giving his other half full opportunity to hear this threat before continuing, "I'll end my life."

Kagome gasped, along with the adult inside of him. 'You wouldn't.' the other side roared, awaiting for the child to answer, but the little version only gave a grimaced smirk, taunting back, 'you just try to stop me.' with eyes wide in shock, Kagome shook her head, scowling at the very thought. "No. no no no. No matter how bad things get, you can never do that Sesshomaru. Promise me you wont." only silence.

He was serious, but still held a tender smile for his Kagome, hoping it would never come to that. What would she do if he were gone forever? Who would protect her from Kouga and Hojo? "I promise I'll never hurt you again. Either of Me." the mistiness clouded her vision, causing Kagome to nearly collapse. Her lip began to tremble, rocking all the strength from her form as he watched her color drain. "But.... I don't want you to die for me. I don't want you to ever......" she never finished those words, her mouth was instantly crushed by his, swamped with the heat of Sesshomaru. He made the gesture without thought, driven only by the instinct to claim her, to drive away all the madness and sorrow inside of his love.

She was so sweet, just as he had imagined deep in the farthest regions of his mind. Sesshomaru nibbled, forcing a long drawn out sigh from both their throats and into each other, spiraling Kagome over the edge with surprise and passion. He eventually pulled away, reluctant to do so, but gave her the needed time to comprehend what exactly just transpired between them. Both their breaths had been stolen, but Kagome longed for more, leaning in with eyes closed and the moisture to glisten on her puffy lips. He had forced a tingle to travel from that one sensitive spot down to curl her very toenails. It was an accomplishment she should have pushed away, cast aside the moment he had started this fire inside of her gullet, but she didn't. God help her, she had given in to desire.

No one was supposed to make her feel this way but her one true love, and Sesshomaru had done this plus more in just one simple capture of the lips. He was truly a master at the art, seducing an innocent little thing until she felt like melting puddy in his hold. Slowly opening her eyes, Kagome brought one hand up to her throbbing mouth, still in blissful shock. 'MY Sesshomaru doesn't know how to do that.'

Turning her attention to the warmth still blanketing her, she was startled to find a somewhat smug yet surprised glimmer in his eyes. He said nothing, digesting the feel of Kagome's candy kisses in his mind until regaining some composure. Staring intently into her face, a tiny smile tugged the end of his lips, allowing the demon to lower his head once again until his forehead rested upon hers. "You talk too much." he unlatched both arms from around her waist, tilting his head in a curious fashion that studied the wobbly human before him. Then, without warning, the manly gaze that had once sent fire to flow in her veins shifted into an entirely innocent stare, followed by a childish yelp.

"What happened? I blanked out there for a minute, did he do anything I should know about?" the innocent mind had full control now, putting a determined fist up to the air ready to pound......er, himself if his other half stepped out of line. Blushing deeply, Kagome's face was flushed and practically glowing. She still tasted him, that addictive, spicy flavor flowed on her tongue. 'That man works wonders. How the hell did he learn to do that?!'

Seeing that Kagome was many shades of red, Sesshomaru gulped, rubbing his mouth when he noticed it was tasty and slightly wet. The realization on his confused face was priceless, forcing him to immediately begin to apologize, bowing many times until she had to place a hand on his shoulder to steady the panicky movement. "Don't be sorry for it. You can't control that horney man inside you." 'Oh heaven help me, he's bound to kill me now.' she inwardly groaned, waiting for Sesshomaru to throttle her neck.

Instead, he raised a brow, squaring his shoulders defiantly. "I am NOT a horney man. You refused to be silent so I found it necessary to keep you sadued. How your voice is like nails on a chalk board, stinging my ears at the know nothing nonsense that spills from those puffy lips of yours." "Thanks for the compliment." she planted both hands on her hips, furrowing her brows until the taiyoukai stepped away, nose high in the air like the tyrant he was. "I leave for my cleansing. Have my clothes washed and brought to me immediately."

Sesshomaru curled his nostrils, disgusted by the scent of a hanyou wrapped around him. And without any guidance from Kagome, the demon walked down the hall and out the laundry door for the hot spring. Kagome sputtered in disbelief, "wash them youself. Your arms aren't broken." after grumbling for a good three minutes, she returned to the smoking pot of fried rice, blowing on the contents franticly. 'So much for him being afraid of the dark. oh, wait. That's the other Sesshomaru.' she slapped a hand to her forehead, breathing out a large breath cloud at her ignorance, "I'm getting confused."

……………………………………

Sesshomaru eased himself gently into the bubbling bath, snuggling into a comfy spot before beginning the scrubbing just yet. 'That woman.' the adult grinded out through his mind, leaning against a boulder so his muscles were given a chance to relax. 'I hate her.' 'You do not.' the child chimed in, smiling broadly at the easily riled adult version.

'She is bothersome. I wish to leave as soon as possible.' his head dipped under the water, dampening the silver strands that glistened with the pale moons light. 'Why cant you just admit that you like her? It's not going to kill you.' Sesshomaru came to the water surface, taking the leaves out of his tail best he could. His lip curled, giving a very disgruntled appeal, 'tell that to my idiot brother.'

The child only tilted his head, watching the eyes of his other self closely. Those were the mirrors into his soul, the place to look for what really churned deep down inside of the demon lord. And behind the cold fury, sat the unexpected truth. 'We have a brother? What happened to him?'

'He is dead.' the little one gasped, startled to hear such news. 'How?! Why didn't you help him?' again, the adult felt cornered by the little innocent, having him stare into the dark sky above and into the full moon. The soft melodies of the wild chased into the night, plucking a twinge on Sesshomaru's conscience. '**I **was the one trying to kill him.' 'But he's your brother.... your family.......' the adult snapped his head back to the little one, having his eyes flash a deep shade of red in warning to hold that acid tongue. 'He was no family to me!' the little Sessh fidgeted, but chewed his tongue, able to see bits and pieces of a past long ago and hear the whispers of hurtful things stabbed deep into the heart.

'You were..... Jealous, weren't you?' the adult threw an imaginary bar of soap at the child, hitting the kid square in the foul mouth. 'He was a half breed.' A crack ran through Sesshomaru's voice, but something far more secretive lay entwined in that statement.

Closing his eyes, the adult Sesshomaru flicked the last twig from his tail's fur, sighing of his relentless other always dogging him for memories. And if he couldn't even share them with another form of himself, then how was he going to find the courage to tell Kagome who he really was. Some great, fearless warrior he turned out to be. That woman had softened him. But then again, he had always allowed a secret softness settle inside when seeing her. 'All those years past.' his brows lifted, into what most would call a hurt expression.

It was a small crack in his once emotionless mask, and a large melting of his once frozen heart. It seemed the drips from the ice were now trying to find leakage through his eyes, but he wouldn't allow that. Years of self-training would NOT allow that. Quickly splashing his face, the remnants that hung on his lashes were lost to the bubbling hands of the hot spring. The internal conflict was his alone to bear, leaving no one a chance to remotely deserve a right to know the trueness deep inside. "Where is my clothing wench?" he spat out after positive no trace of questionability was anywhere in sight, flipping his long hair behind himself.

"I told you to wash them yourself. I'm making dinner, duh. Put the red haori on for tonight." (I have no idea what Inuyasha's clothes are called) "I refuse to wear those rags any longer." Kagome poked the rice, placing the food into two bowls while groaning to herself. Sesshomaru was being difficult, cutting that tiny fuse she had inside to at least half. "You had no problem earlier." Sesshomaru sunk his lower face into the water, to only have his insults come out in inedible blubbers. 'I want to kill her.' the little child giggled at the hiss, shaking a tsking finger to his other self's pouting. 'Hurt her and die. That's what I said.'

Shutting his eyes, and grinding his fangs together to hold down the blood boil, the steam grew even thicker, all thanks to Sesshomaru's heated anger.

…………………………….

"What is this?" the taiyoukai pocked his eating utensils into the dark food, flinging large chunks of black onto the table. "Well, you can call it dinner." Kagome sniffed, sitting back in her chair indignantly, knowing that this person was NOT her Sesshomaru. "I call it repulsive. Make me something else. Something that wont turn to ash in my mouth." his remark hardly beat around the bush, and where the hell did he pick up those kind of manners?! A blood vein popped put of the woman's forehead, her eye twitched and became warning slits.

"It wouldn't BE burned if you had left me alone to cook." "Do not place the blame on me, wench, I only assumed you had enough brains to cook rice, but it appears you are unable to "multi-task". Or perhaps your gifts revolve around poisoning your guest's." he took a sweep to the median cabinet out in the living room, then back to the lady sitting across the table. "You don't have to eat it. Starve for all I care." she threw back, wanting to smash his pretty spotless face into that bowel of black rice. They both eyed one another, each refusing to be the first to brave a bite. It took much mental preparation for THIS task, which ultimately had the woman to hold her nose and just dive in.

Sesshomaru pushed the food away, crossing his arms stubbornly. "You would have your little Sesshy go without dinner?" choking on her mouthful of bad cooking, Kagome had to take several gulps of water to get the rough black wade down. "Don't you dare pull that on me! MY Sesshomaru would be grateful and down that in a heartbeat. Its still good, it's still good." "Hardly." he whispered under his breath, having his eyes flash into the lovable innocence.

"I love your cooking, give it here." the kid took a large handful, scarfing it down even though his other side warned him, having his eyes water at the foulness. It was sad, really, to see the little Sesshomaru try and hold a less than convincing expression. "Its.... really.... good." his color changed into green, his throat tried hard to regurgitate the substance after having it slid roughly down the esophagus, and the adult wouldn't cease his taunting and snickering in the back of their mind. Once washing the flavor from his mouth, the cold voice returned, smug at the vomiting taste. Even if he did feel like throwing it up at any given moment now. "I told you it was foul."

"It wasn't that bad." the kid argued, leaving Kagome to hold her fork near to her lips and watch the conversation with bug eyes.

"My body has been polluted, and that bite is trying to come back and ruin the wench's appetite." Kagome huffed at the wench nickname she was growing sick of, but had little time to bust between the one-person argument.

"You just don't have good taste."

"not after that. I think the substance burned it clean out."

"Excuse me." Kagome went to interrupt, still having both people ignore her.

"Your just ungrateful. If you think you can do any better, lets see you cook."

Silence. Kagome beamed proudly towards Sesshomaru's defense against.....er....well, himself. Nodding happily, Kagome crossed her arms, smirking at the adult's quietness. Perhaps he had called it a day and left her to the company of her little fluffy Sesshy. Why else would the 'mighty' demon remain quiet for so long? Sure, he could dish out the insults, but had nothing to back himself up. 'You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?' gracefully, without so much as a warning, the demon stood, a stoic mask held firmly in place. 'Oh god, what's he going to do now?' Kagome had her pulse fly wildly out of control, feeling large traces of perspiration travel down the back of her neck, hoping he wasn't in a killy mood after that.

Instead, he just went to the stove, fired up the burners, and took out all he needed from the cabinets. The way he worked was like magic, smooth, fluent, a dance that made the little human ashamed of her concoction she had presented to this amazing youkai. Sitting in amazement, Kagome watched in awe at the way he knew exactly what he was doing. He added the spices, stirred the dripping sauces together, tossed in the chopped vegetables, and after only ten minutes, had a tasty looking meal in one plate. It's smell wafted into the entire household, swirling its snare around Kagome's senses. It was so alluring; causing the saliva gland in her mouth to work over time, build until she had to wipe away water falls of drool from the corners of her chin. Kagome's eyes focused on the perfect example of rice on the side of his dish, along with the spiced meat strips and fried vegetables sprinkled on the meal.

He looked up to her, smirking inwardly at the way he had a delicacy fit for a king and she still loamed over her nearly untouched black rice. Even the child couldn't find any means to insult that scrumptious looking supper, sharing much of the same shocked expression as Kagome. "Well, what are you waiting for wench? Your food is growing cold." he pointed to the small bowl, waiting for her to finish the chunky goodness she had fixed.

Glancing over to the stove, she realized he had only made enough of that feast for himself, than stared blankly at her own creation. "Your evil." she growled, unable to watch him enjoy his dinner. If her charcoaled rice wasn't making her lose her lunch than his arrogance was defiantly going to do it. It nearly made her want to cry over a measly bowl of rice just like a little kid, but she kept the dreadful feeling in check, lifting a small bite to her lips. Kagome disgustedly munched, crunched and swallowed against her bodies rebellion of the first few mouthfuls, knowing that in just a while Sesshomaru was going to have a front row show of her blowing it right back up in his confident face. She then started to push the chunks over to the side, trying to find some white to settle her stomach, but even then they were too few and had absorbed the nasty taste of charred ash.

The child half tried to resurface, to enjoy the meal and perhaps share some with his friend, but the adult totally refused. 'This is MINE to enjoy so be still.' 'But she's hungry too. Look at her.'

He didn't want too, he ordered himself not to lift his gaze up or find any pity for that creature. She made her own bed, so now she must lay in it.... so to speak. But his curiosity prevented anything else. Unwillingly raising his golden pools up to her, Sesshomaru couldn't help but laugh inwardly at the faces she made every time she had a forkful close to entering her lips. She was rather pathetic, actually determined to try and digest the putrid substance.

If she continued, she was surely going to kill herself, or at least make herself sick. 'And that's all I need, to hear her groans.' one eye twitched, his back went rigid at the 'charity' he was about to endure. Using a napkin to wipe at his mouth, like the aristocrat he was, thus pushed the rest of his dinner over to her. "Since I cooked, the rules suggest that YOU must wash dishes." Sesshomaru walked away, forbidding himself to stay for a thanks or even see the grateful expression smothering her face. He left Kagome to either swallow her pride, or swallow the black rice. The decision was left to her.

At first, she was too stunned to respond; wary he had done something to it. Perhaps spit in the rice just to spite her. The adult Sesshomaru wasn't nice; he was down right an ass hole. But the left overs did look tempting, and the smells just wouldn't stop tormenting her. 'No! I don't need him OR his delicious cooking.' that's all she needed, was him to throw this in he face if she dared to taste the forbidden fruit. Yet slowly, as she fumed, telling herself to dump the stuff in Bayou's bowl, her fork inched closer to his plate. Before she could even get another dirty insult to spill from her lips, they were too busy hungrily chewing the meat strips and vegetables. 'Its good. It's soooooooo good. But I hate him. That bastered! How'd he learn to cook this good? Stupid jerk. Man this is awesome.'

After she had licked the plate clean, and had the dish's spotless and her rice in Bayous bowl, Kagome went to the hot spring to scrub. Lord only knew how long it had been since she last bathed. She faintly remembered hearing Sesshomaru comment under his breath of her human stink clogging his nose. 'Well screw you too buddy.' she lifted her shirt off, removing all articles of clothing. She sighed blissfully when her body relaxed into the massaging bubbles, knowing that once she stepped out of this bliss it was strait back to hell for her. "Heaven." she sang, closing her eyes with a soft sigh, swishing her raven lock's this way and that through the water.

'This is getting way too confusing for me to handle. I can hardly keep up with those two mood swings.' thoughtfully washing her hair, Kagome felt all warm inside, having the feeling that someone was watching her. 'Sometimes I just want to beat that man! But then.....' her mind trailed off, finding the warmth spread up to her lips, throbbing the part he had so possessively ravished. Pulling two fingers up to her mouth, she tried to rub the pulsing away. She didn't need to have any emotions tying her to that creature, other than the usual parental look for little Sessh. 'He's a dick. And then he's the coolest person I know.' her referring the coolness to the child.

Kagome sunk her upper body into the hot spring, hiding all her womanly parts from perverted eyes. "Damn you Sesshomaru." she snarled, chewing her inner cheek. The images of his nakedness paraded in her imagination, smearing a bright pink glow to across her cheeks. "You and your bare ass." how in the world did she feel so awkward around him? How could she hold such affection for an infectious person? He was two halves of one puzzle, loving and generous to all one moment, hateful and cruel the next. She blinked several times to dislodge the memory from her head, which would never happen in this life time or the next, his godly beauty was something someone such as he didn't deserve.

Kagome scrunched her shoulders self consciously, trying not to think of all the flaws her body held. She paled in comparison when he stood close by, leaving Kagome to question if she even had a right to be in the same room with someone such as he. Whimpering slightly from that, Kagome turned towards the full moon, remembering a time when this night was full of magic for her. The time Inuyasha changed, but only on the outside. Looking upwards for the symbol of all that was once right, her sights set on a particular taiyoukai sitting on the top of her cottage. He wasn't looking at her, though if he had turned his face ever so slightly he would receive the perfect opportunity of a peep show.

Sesshomaru was star gazing, thinking quietly in the maze that was his mind. Not wanting to call attention to herself, Kagome soundlessly sloshed through the water, trying to make as little noise or sudden movement as possible, reaching for her towel. She had lifted herself up, creeping stealthfully to retrieve a covering. That's all she needed, that hentai to set eyes on her clothelses body. She would never hear the end of it. Kagome's luck never made it past the crouching, forcing her to slip on a wet spot and fall over in the bushes with a squeil.

The demon couldn't help but watch her try to crawl out of the leaves, butt naked and shining in the creamy lunar light. His eyes grew, and wouldn't stop growing. He nearly had to cover his nose from the nosebleed trying to squirt out. Kagome screamed from embarrassment, scrounging around for her lost towel and clothes. 'Oh.... my.... god.' Sesshomaru kept repeating, the inner adult shields the childs prying eyes. 'What? What is it? Is she hurt? What's going on?' the child squirmed, having the adult sit on the child to keep him from viewing Kagome in such a manner. Leave that to him.

'Nothing, there's nothing wrong with her.' and that was the truth, there wasn't a damn thing wrong on her body. Sesshomaru tried to keep from smirking, but seeing her bounce around like that, yelling for him to stop looking, he just couldn't hide it. "Do you need assistance?" he called, having her flee into the house, without her garments, hollering over her shoulder, "pervert!! Sick hentai pervert!!"

He may very well be if she kept this up. After she was long out of sight, he shut his eyes thoughtfully, permently burning the image into memory, still sitting on his inner child self. 'What's going on!?' the kid bellowed, swinging his limbs to no avail. The adult could only shake his head, shrugging and allowing the tike to stand. 'You broke my back.' but his other self wasn't listening, just standing, reliving that one moment with a tiny smile. 'Go to sleep, it is past your bed time boy.'

Sessyh wasn't going to get any answers from him, so grumbling, the kid didn't dare argue with himself, taking control of the shared body long enough to stumble off the roof. He raced into the house, stepping over a half dead Bayou (for eating Kagome's cooking) running clear into his friends fist. "You sick, disgusting, son of a ......" Sesshomaru rubbed his chin, tears water falling down his face. "I didn't see anything he wouldn't let me, i didn't see nothing." Kagome bit her lip, stumbling back, but collected herself enough to kneel by her little buddy and cradle his head lovingly. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I thought you were the other one." she cued his whimpers, knowing she had only hurt his pride and perhaps gave him one hell of a scare.

To bad for the adult, Kagome was already in a nightgown. "How can you get us confused?" he received nothing less than a you-did-not-just-say-that look from her. Sighing after his mooping ceased, Kagome helped him up, looking her friend over before ushering him to his pallet. "Sesshomaru, you still have leaves in your hair." she nagged, nimbly pulling some grass from the soaked strands. The demon only shrugged his shoulders, rolling his eyes at the over looked foliage. "I'll get it out in the morning." "Let me brush your hair, looks like you brought the entire forest in here with you."

Reaching for her brush, Kagome led him to her bed, seating the demon on the ground while she went to work untangling the sticks from his hair. "I swear, you have no hygiene at all." a grumble lifted from his lips, low and menacing towards her comment, one that fell along the lines of very foul language. She bopped him over the head, scolding his potty mouth like any parental figure would. Rubbing his struck part sourly, Sesshomaru snorted a sound between his grinding canines, seeing every shade of red by her arrogant smack. "I do not need you hen pecking me, woman. I happen to be a grown man thank you very much." it was the adult, making another grand surprise appearance when he felt her being bothersome.

"You don't need to say those things, what if little Sessh starts picking it up?" "He is of age to speak it." Kagome gave a rough yank on a particular knot of hair, causing all Sesshomaru's hair to stand on end as he dug his claws into the floorboard. His pupils dilated, forcing a snarl to escape his lips at her shredding of his precious shinning glory. "DONT do that again!!!" he warned, snapping that out from clenched fangs. Giggling, the woman only pulled a few leaves out to let them dance onto his nose, not at all fazed by his hissy fits. "Didn't know Sesshomaru was tender headed."

"I am not tender headed, I just do not want to find a bald spot from your brutality. There better not be a split end either." a grown man was concerned over spilt ends? What a hoot. That was all it took for Kagome to nearly fall over in laughter. "You sound just like a conceded girl, all worried about your precious good looks." she cracked her voice into an annoying high pitched and squeaky shrill just for what she said next, holding her hand out like the valley girls she had met once, "oh my god, I broke a nail. Don't touch my hair I just got it perfect. Oh please, give me a break. Sesshomaru, your too sensitive." he snorted at her, crossing his arms indignantly at the harmless teasing.

His self-absorbed ego was beside the point, how would she like it if he jumped up and started hacking HER hair with a brush? Or better yet, a pair of really good scissors might do the trick. "Stop your talking and just brush, I do not need you trying to "multi task" again." swatting a gliding leaf from his nose, the taiyoukai leaned back against the edge of the mattress, relaxing as she stroked hypnotically through silvery strands. Kagome had the yard long locks settled in her lap, sending the brush to glide gracefully through the silky substance in a strange lulling dance.

He was beginning to enjoy this closeness, sending the knots within his muscle's to smooth out into soft flesh. "You like to think a lot, don't you?" the question was something that nearly went unheard, pulling the taiyoukai from the calmness weaving its veil around his body, snaring the mind into a wordless dream. No response at first. Kagome stressed her lips into a thin line, removing the last stick, still continuing to pet his hair. "Do you think about the war? Do you even remember it?"

"Yes." Sesshomaru was so very quiet, even when he chose to speak, nearly startling the woman once receiving an answer. A hidden spot in her heart brightened, the twisted flutter of hope radiating brightly in her glowing expression, "what side did you fight for?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. I'd like to think....." a blush swept up her cheeks, nervously sending Kagome to bite one nail just to steady herself. "I hope.... you were fighting for us. For the humans." snorting at that, Sesshomaru turned his head slightly, removing the last of the cramps. "I wasn't on either side."

"Then... why did you.... ?" "Personal gain. I care not for the out come of this war, it matters little to me who survives. Humans are the plague of this world and thus rightly deserve what ever fait deals them." how could he say such horrible things?! How did he have the right to judge others, to say who deserved to live and die? Kagome grinded her teeth together in rage, furious at his arrogance and selfishness. "You... you....! How dare you say such things?! Humans deserve every much right to live as everyone else. We may not be the strongest or fastest, or even the nicest, but that still doesn't mean we should be exterminated." her words hurt, but it seemed only she felt the pain of her pride and shame, finding that none seemed to show any sign of getting through to his thick head.

Sesshomaru just trained his focus across the room, hissing at the veracity of her words. "That is exactly what humans are, insects. You kill one and a hundred more rise in its place. They destroy what they do not understand, they misuse their gifts, they persecute the innocent, and they over breed until the world can no longer support them. They are an infestation." and while he said all this garbage about how lousy her race was, not once did he include her in the same category. He would say "them" and "they", not "all of you" or "you humans".

Twisting one of his moonlight strands between her fingers, Kagome only sighed in understanding to his point of view, even if she didn't agree to it, knowing that with good, there was always evil to follow. A fact of life. "We're not perfect, and neither are you. All those things you just said pretty much sums up everyone. YOU persecute the innocent. YOU misuse your gifts. So don't sit on your high horse and try to judge me. Not all people are bad, even you have your good qualities." he only sniffed into the air, never responding to that.

Kagome noticed the slight drop in his head position; the demon had dipped his chin to rest just slightly on his chest. He was thinking, digesting the things she had said, and perhaps, finding some truth behind the lines she choked on. "I know you don't like to talk about the war, but did you see a hanyou when you were fighting? He looked...... a lot like you." Sesshomaru roared cruelly, almost bolting from her grip when she had mentioned such a thing. It was the hand of Kagome massaging the nape of his neck that prevented escape, leaving the taiyoukai to hiss of his discomfort, closeting his eyes disgruntly.

"You do not want to know about where I come from, and you do NOT want to know who I met while I was slashing them in half." gasping, the human woman only leaned forward, placing her chin on the top of his scalp. And surprisingly, Sesshomaru never pulled away or throw a rude remark of her filth caressing his skin. "But I have to know if you saw him. Did you? Did you.... kill him?" the uprising tears clogged Kagome's throat, choking the question's out in building grief, sending both silent bodies to rock from her shivering frame. Sesshomaru went rigid, claws digging into his own palms until small pinpricks became deep gash holes through the calloused flesh.

Sending his sights to burrow into the floor, the demon shook his head, "no. I didn't destroy your "lover"." the last word was spat out, coated in a toxic way like it was poison on his tongue. "Then do you know who did?"

"Leave me be on the subject. I no longer wish to talk about it."

He wasn't going to tell her anything, keeping the truth locked away in many inner layers, causing Kagome to inwardly curse at his secrecy. Did he avoid the subject for torture, or was it to guard her against some festering conspiracy? Kagome never knew the intentions of THIS creature, whether he was out for her best interests or leading her down a path of destruction. Sesshomaru never shared anything with her, other than the constant complaining he was just bursting to slap her in the face with. Playing with is hair in defeat; Kagome couldn't help but cuddle it, having a faint impression that Sesshomaru had purposely left his hair in disarray. He seemed the type to fret over its condition obsessively, so having her attend his self-polishing had to have some hidden agenda behind it.

"Kagome?" the adult spoke meagerly, now feeling he was the one to receive answers. She only gave a soft subtle sound, sleepily drooping onto her friends shoulder. "Did you love him?" Sesshomaru pierced a fang through his lip, awaiting a dreaded response. "Yes. He saved my life, more than once. He was very........ Special."

Without her seeing, Sesshomaru's brows fell sadly, leaving one more thing to weigh on his shuttering concourse. ' I cant tell her. I mustn't tell her.' he chewed down that thought, felling the woman slowly add her weight as she drifted off to sleep. The night was cool, having the demon lord inhale her addictive scent, sweet and alluring like he had remembered. She had grown into quit a woman, one he found strange, but also one that he could openly respect, and...... Love. The child inside him had long ago fallen into slumber, but the adult Sesshomaru seemed the only person left to watch over the cottage.

Along with Kagome, another smell lingered here, and it was not his idiot brother. Sesshomaru would be damned if he left this special enchantress to cast her charms on anyone but him, and he couldn't allow Kouga a chance in hell to complete his intended plans. Neither would the taiyoukai allow that basterd another opportunity on his life, the deadly opportunity he once possessed on the battlefield. That back stabbing son of a bitch was just waiting for the chance to finish the job, causing the demon lord to sweep a finger over the newly formed scars on his chest. These were an eternal reminder to follow one's instincts and never that place that occasionally throbbed in his chest.

Kagome obviously didn't realize her worth; she never knew when Sesshomaru stared at her in fascination. She only saw him looking but never saw what he was looking at. Or thinking of. "I'm sorry Kagome." Sesshomaru whispered, unsure if she heard. "I was selfish many moons ago. Never did I realize you loved him." his apology was something that became increasingly difficult by the minute, every stuttered word flowed from his heart, and plucking the guilt he once held in tiny amounts. Though he was untrained in this "sharing" of his inner self, Sesshomaru vowed he would get this out. Whether it was beautiful and graceful like most things he spoke or clumsy and confusing, he would feel relief knowing it was said, wiping his conscience clean for the time being. "I hate no one but myself, never will it be you I despise. I wont try to scare you away anymore, nor will I bother you with the reality you do not know."

Hearing the gentle snores fall from her lips, Sesshomaru gulped loudly with one large sweat droplet skimming down the side of his head. 'Just great. I spill my guts and she doesn't have the decency to hear it. That despicable wench!' sighing into the open air, the taiyoukai thus began the process of picking this human woman up in his arms until she was cradled snuggle against his broad chest. Lowering her delinquently into her covers, Sesshomaru tucked the sides in, blowing the candle out for darkness to flourish at last.

The demon smiled warmly at the serene picture he found himself engulfed in, grazing a fiery trail from his finger over the creamy valley of her cheek. "I wish I could reverse the hands of time for you, I wouldn't allow you to slip away from me then." he leaned forward, lowering himself to her face in one fluent movement, fluffing the pillow just slightly for Kagome's sake. Sesshomaru grinned at the coo she made, parting her lips invitingly for just a hapless admirer to claim.

Taking in her fragrance one last time for the night, he would never tire of that sweetness, the smell of kindness and love entwined in one simple breath taking aroma. His breath grew hot, caught in a passion he had never realize he possessed. And like a dream, Sesshomaru found himself drifting into this woman; a fog of emotions played his heart in its dramatic play of tricks and turns. Pressing his lips against her's, it was a very gentle version of what had transpired earlier that evening. But she was open to him this time, beckoning for a touch, a hunger that would surely be fed. Temptation can only be quenched when you give in to it, and he was not one to fight the urge tonight. Too much had grown between them, whether they admitted it or not.

Once he had pulled away, Sesshomaru licked the taste away hungrily, wanting to devour her in endless kisses if he ever snared another chance. Whispering into her lobe, the great demon lord finally admitted a very personal confession, like one would in prayer. He had never allowed anyone behind the inner walls he had sturdily built, but for her......... she was allowed just this one peek to sample his inner mysteries. It mattered little if she was awake to remember this or not, so he nuzzled softly into her hair, telling his great secret. "You, my sweet Kagome, were my first kiss. And I loved every minute of it."


	8. Bird's and the Bee's

Vixon: please don't flame me too bad for this, I know it's a little…. Er….. you know, but it's not that bad. Right? Any ways, I promise more funny stuff in the next chapter, which I'm going to call "to be a man". So la de da and all that stuff. Thanks for the reviews.

Haunting sadness, I don't know what you said, but you said it.

**Ch8 _"bird's and the bee's"_**

The morning came, the sun sparkled brightly through the window, and Kagome couldn't be happier. No bad dreams found her last night, no horrible nightmare's of the battle field, no blood spilled and death on her hands, only the soft, warm promise of salty. She snuggled deeper into the source of all her fond feelings; smiling at the tickles she felt brushing against her cheek. An arm gripped her tighter, pulling Kagome fully into the curve of his chest, sighing into her own hair after inhaling the sweet womanly scent.

'Another day.' Kagome yawned to herself, rubbing the muscular arm that kept her securely in place, unable to put two and two together this early in the morning. She squished her buttocks against his hips, sighing at the gentle folds she was wrapped in. she held her sights open, just briefly, forcing her eyes to travel lazily over the pallet that, at the moment, was vacant of a certain demon. She crushed her sight in a welcomed darkness, never dwelling on the subject for more than a scant second, praying to find another tempting land she could be carried off to again in dream world.

She begged for the wanton kisses that snared her last night, to feel the butterfly fingers dance over her powdery skin, weaving her into it's magic. The honey beams of the sun pierced the backside of her security, leaping over the bulking object, casting a large shadow to fall across the floor. Those memories of what never was........... Or what had once been, she couldn't decide. Kagome only knew that somewhere along the fogginess of sleep she had felt heaven, she had tasted it, lavished in it, swelled inside until it all came crashing into a white explosion of waking. Her eyebrows pinched together, forcing her to cease the petting on the arm. 'Wait a minute.' her head swiveled, looking directly at the white hair draped over her body like a second blanket. These were not dreams, nor memories, but pure fact. A too close for comfort reality that once again had her locked in a firmly built hold.

"No, not again." Kagome whimpered, attempting to turn over and push against his wall of a chest. 'Why must I be so weak?' Sesshomaru didn't allow for this escape tactic to prevail, his cuddle toy was not going to leave him just yet, not when all the world slowed into a harmonic peacefulness the youkai encircled his tail about her upper thigh, absorbing this human woman's body until his cells forever knew this intoxicating feel. 'Shit! shit shit shit, get him off, get him off.' where were her miko powers when she needed them? Kagome tried pulling away once again, but like before he held her imprisoned in his unwavering strength, a captive in his arms. 'Just give him another zap of those good ole powers. Yeah, toasty dog face. Concentrate. Concentrate.' nothing.

'Concentrate. Concentrate.' she demanded her body's compliance, bidding the power to build, but it wasn't there. Not even a spark could formulate. 'Damn my luck.' why did she never practice harnessing this gift? Wrestling the grip, Kagome wiggled in place, having her body entice a certain part of the demon with her constant struggle. A bad move on her part. He growled in arousal, leaning his head close to her neck where he thus began to suckle on her quivering flesh.

Sesshomrau's tongue flicked at the sensitive moist area, purring into her body with foreign delight. The fangs extended, scraping around her elegant skin like the predator he was, seeking a tender place to just bury those daggers, to lap up the promising feast wriggling underneath. Nipping at the tingles he sent down Kagome's system, with sinister possessiveness tracing his soothing lips, Sesshomaru left no warning of when he would strike, leaving his prey to pant at the building fear.

Sesshomaru brought one hand up, mapping her body blindly enough in his unchecked state, molding her into himself by each discovery his lecherous appendage made. Each feather light finger brushed a firey trail on every spot he touched, keeping his fantasies subdued under his spell. he was practically on top of the woman now, planting light kisses around the corners of her mouth, smashing her breast's into his taunt chest. She was so soft, so exotic, and all his to play with. Reaching up to push his head away, Kagome found him grasp her hand, holding it above her head as he continued this game of seduction. 'Oh crap. crap crap crappity crap!' again she went to squirm from his hold, unable to find the breath to awaken this dazed assault. He was setting her body in flames, glazing a river of lava down the places his tongue swept. He was slowly intoxicating Kagome's senses, planting butterfly kisses lightly on her body, drowning the woman with his touch alone, and tenderly caging her between the bed and himself.

My God he was a temptation, and she had no clue how long she could hold out from this masterfully played game. His hand then traveled to her's, entwining their fingers, demanding compliance and acceptance. In the back of his mind, he felt the blood rush of both hearts, the heat that built between them was yanking all the calm fazed back into a far more primal state. He was a demon, down to the very bone, and his body had no problem pointing this out to him during a time such as this. Instincts, that is what drove the taiyoukai past his common sense, especially when a luscious woman lay underneath his throbbing need, and it was always heightened when that woman happened to be Kagome. A sprite that played him the fool every time.

He knew not of what he was doing, thinking it all a beautiful dream and nothing else. Both mind and body fell into different worlds, one lost in the folds of love, the other reckless with ecstasy. This was his secret want, inner fantasy that had been cast aside until now. Time shattered, slowing and exellerating, leaving only the impression of eternity stretching far into the horizon. And just when Kagome found the minute to reclaim the breath he had stolen, Sesshomaru did the inevitable. A taboo he promised never for himself. Slowly, willingly, the demon lord plunged his fangs into the curve of her neck and shoulder, burring his canines deep inside her. She could only lie there, left to give a straggled gasp.

Kagome was in complete shock, stiff under his pressing hold, inhaling deep breaths to try and calm her senses. The jolts of pain spiraled, widening her eyes, parting her mouth to give a minuet cry. Sesshomaru maneuvered his other hand down to the bottom of her gown, massaging the knee in torturous tantalizing strokes. His claws were cool, unlike either of their inflamed bodies at the moment, pulling the fabric up ever so slightly.

Tasting her was a delicacy, feeling the woman loyally stay for him was a joy. Once the heel of his palm found Kagome's inner thigh, she squealed in protest, fighting his weight with all the force she held. It only resulted in bucking her hips against his, which pulled a sneer over the ends of his lips. He still had his fangs holding her down, pinned until he was finished. 'Or rap's me, which ever comes first!' small traces of tears crawled down Kagome's face, causing her to grind down on her own lip fiercely, to try once again and remove his needle-like intrusion from her skin. He just took a firmer hold, stiffening his jaw when her trembling hands touched his brow; the only thing she could see from this sprawled position.

The burst of agony shook her to the very toes, again having the demon become even bolder. "Stop it." Kagome chocked, clenching her eyes tightly shut, feeling the miko powers build. "Stop it!" her words were forceful, authoritive. The pain exploded through Kagome's veins, her breath hard and labored thanks to the male ramming his hand up her night gown. The hot flames licked past Kagome's flesh, reaching out to scorch any that treaded on her sacredness, causing the demon to withdraw his teeth in a hiss; her body lashing out to his hand and mouth in it's growing intensity. The rise in power ate through their clothes, bombarding Sesshomaru with more suffrage.

A blinding pink light shot out, wrapping the room in its glow, fading into the peace of sunshine when Sesshomaru's weight was no longer felt upon her. He was pushed against the window, or perhaps crawled there when his latest taste for shock wake up call slapped some sense into his foggy memory. With this new opportunity for freedom rang true, Kagome immediately bolted to her feet, wrapping a robe around herself and never want to look at that despicable man again. He was nothing but an animal, a dirty, filthy, angelic animal she had no problem ripping her own teeth into. She shot a hand up to the burning punctures, fingering the small traces of spit and blood that dampened her throat. 'It was like Inuyasha, always wanting to taste me. What is the deal with these demons?'

Sesshomaru growled once fully awake, batting away the cobwebs of dreams from sight, snorting out the smoke clouds from his nostrils while shaking his head to regain some control over the new Afro. "Kagome-saaaaaan, why do you do that? I was having the best dream ever." little Sessh whimpered and moaned, puffing out his cheeks in the expression she did when something didn't go her way. 'Yeah, I'll bet it was a good dream. A very good dream.' she inwardly snapped, not sure which Sesshomaru lay in fault at this constant climb-into-bed-with-Kagome-and-watch-her-freak game. Kagome flipped her hair in annoyance at him, the world, and anything ELSE that wished to give her an excuse to blow it up. Taking a side wards glance over her shoulder, she only dreaded what it was the big baby fantasized about whilst they slumbered. She gave one final rub to the swelling wounds, and then spun around, hands firmly planted on hips to stare her bed buddy down.

"YOU! I told you not to climb into bed with me. EVER." shaking a scolding finger, this only made poor Sessh take on the little lost puppy dog look, melting her heart until she couldn't even scold with a strait face. All her anger was flying out the window when she defiantly needed it to punish this inconsiderate jerk. Why did he always make her feel guilty when he was the one at fault? He was doing this on purpose, both of them! It was a conspiracy!! Sesshomaru scrunched his shoulders in that mastered sweet fashion, tilting his head with that lower lip jutting out, "I didn't, I swear. I was asleep before you were." he held up a hand, doing the boys scout gesture. "Scouts honor."

Then that only left one person to blame. Oh, how she was going to REALLY give it to him. Kagome took her head in one hand, not at all wanting a migraine this early in the morning. "Sesshomaru, please don't do it again. Either of you. You don't have a freakin pallet on the floor for nothing." she blew a frustrated sigh, flopping her shoulders forward in exhaustion. Every time she went kablewy like she just did usually wiped her energy out for a while, hence she defiantly needed to train those inner powers of hers.

"Um....Kagome?" came Sessh's voice, a hint of worry ate away at it, he held himself perfectly still, nearly rigid. "Yes?" she grumbled, rolling her eyes then slowly following Sesshomaru's pointing finger. "What do I do with this?" of course, like most people, Kagome isn't even considered alive this early in the morning. You know the symptoms, eyes glazed over, movements to a bare minimum, and brain turned to complete mush. that is, until her eyes focused on the cause for Sessh's concern, bulging her eyeballs until they became bigger than a bread box. Her mouth dropped clear to the floor, with sweat droplets gushing from all sides of her head. Down, between his legs, stood a very large, very erect part of the demon she didn't even WANT to see. 'Oh my GOD!!!!!!!! Save me!' he awaited an answer, but all's she kept repeating was, "umana umana umana." (It's a bunch of gibberish when you can't find that right word to describe how you feel. in translation, Kagome is saying. HOLY SHT, OH MY GOD, W.T.F. and many more colorful words you too can learn.)

Sesshomaru tried to move but that only caused his entire body to shutter. Even the slightest of breezes, the exhaled air from either of their lungs excited the already sensitive area, making movement difficult in itself. He was struck with all kinds of things Kagome KNEW wasn't going to be good, things that a boy shouldn't have to deal with. She covered her eyes, turning pasty pale, squealing for herself to wake up, if she had been asleep to begin with. Tilting his head curiously, the taiyoukai wandered what the big deal was. It actually felt nice, so why did she seem so upset? She was rigid, and lets not mention FREAKING OUT!

"What do I do with it?" Sessh inquired, trying to cover himself with a pillow. "JUST don't touch IT!" Kagome screamed out, biting her nails, sweating rivers from this mornings turn abouts. This kind of soap opera stuff was found only in the Higurashi house, gold to some lonely horney housewife wanting some grade A entertainment. (I got this saying from some romance novel book, and it didn't say entertainment, it said PORN! I am dead serious. --; Though I must say, I don't read those things, people just think I do. 99;; hehe. seriously.)

Obediently, Sesshomaru retracted his hand, startled from her raising voice. She was scaring him, and he had no idea what the hell to do or even what the hell was going on. If only the adult would wake up and take over, little Sessh wanted nothing to do with his own body's functions. Was he going to die from this? ' No, please, I'm to young to die.'

"Um.... g-go over to the corner and sing."

"Will that work?" Kagome grabbed him by the collar, chucking the demon face first into the wall, "JUST DO IT!!!!"

How could you argue with that? He stood there, humming, and Kagome kept her back turned while feverishly chewing her bottom lip. 'Why? Why did he have to get hard?! God, you're teasing me, just like you teased moses in the desert.' a small voice from nowhere popped into her head, only for one moment, the deep commanding presence of God making his say. 'Tested. I tested Moses.' and then he was gone, back to his perch where ever that may be to watch over all his creations. (Don't ask me why God made an appearance, he felt like It. he's GOD, how can you say no to him?!)

Nodding to that, the woman thus finally found the balls (hehe) to turn around, checking to see if her advice to little Sessh had worked. He still stood there, in the corner, singing softly about raamein noodles. "Is it......?" she gulped before continuing, having to keep her heart rate under control before it burst forth and did a little dance on the floor, "down yet?" he looked back up, smiling broadly. "It's all tingly." Kagome regretted she even asked, twirling back around, clenching both eyes shut. "Keep singing then."

"I don't think it's working." he poked it, but nothing happened. She could only imagine what was going through that twisted mind of his, the adult mocking her in the far reaches of his subconscious, purposely screwing with her right now. It would be like him to taunt her in such a dastardly way. Sesshomaru blew a long breath out, feeling his body shiver from the vibration of his alto voice traveling down to the hard rod Kagome so feared. Why was she afraid of something that seemed so natural? Did she ever feel this good when her's got this way? Who was to know, unless he asked?

"Kagome, does yours ever get big like this?" turning her head in a sinister manner, she flew at the demon, swatting him over the head with the hardest thing she could lay her hands on...... a pillow. Repeatedly, Kagome smacked Sesshomaru across the head in forceful swats that would have been deadly if it was harder, putting several knots up and down his scalp for asking such a ridiculous question. (Pillows can hurt when you use them the right way. I can testify to that) "what the hell do you think I am?! I'm a girl; we don't have penises to get hard!! Now get that thing under control before I rip it off and mount it on the wall!!!" Sesshomaru yelped, clutching his elongated part protectively. 'If she does that, how will I pee?' this woman had a violent streak running through her. Forget violent, she was down right homicidal!

"Go down." the demon ordered, finding the excitement only cause it to squirm. His pupils narrowed, sweat poured down his neck in vast sheets, "go down!" he snarled, begging the iron rod to deflate in the whisper. Hot lava coursed through his body, sending the tiny Sesshomaru to nearly bust into tears at the thought of losing such a valuable part of himself for this awkward slip up. 'Sesshomaru!!! I need help.' the child called out to his still slumbering other, mentally shaking his other self-awake.

'What do you want runt?'

Tears washed down the Childs face, all the adrenalin from his overwhelming fear made his body that much tighter around his lower waist. 'I have a really REALLY big problem.' and big was an understatement of both the severity of the situation and the pulsing body part. Snorting to that, the adult finally pushed the child aside, rubbing the sleep away to ready himself for this. What on God's green earth was so freaking important that lord Sesshomaru needed to be disturbed? Didn't those morons's know the hours he had remained awake last night, protecting THEIR slumbering Asses from lurking dangers?! After discovering the cause of hysterics, he smirked at the kid's false alarm. It took no time for Sesshomaru to take control, easing the tension, holding enough experience to put all their fears to rest. This was hardly something to concern one's self over, so his body wanted to make itself noticed... big deal.

Sesshomaru turned to see Kagome still rigid as a board from what she had woken too, placing the taiyoukai in a very awkward position. An embarrassed red tint spread across his cheeks, having him, the great demon lord of the western lands, scrunch in embarrassment. "It's...uh, all over now." he tried so hard to keep his voice smooth, but the cracks were not entirely unnoticeable. Neither was the rosy blush.

Kagome took her time to turn around, opening her eyes at the recognition of the adult voice. She didn't want to look and be sure he told the absolute truth; she was just going to take his word for it and leave it at that. You never knew when Sesshomaru went to make a fool out of you. And falling over in a foaming coma from looking at his crotch was defiantly gonna mark her as stupid. After registering the sea of raging hormones had ebbed, Kagome prayed thankfully to the higher forces for their mercy, 'thank you sweet Jesus.' she inwardly yelled to the one that she knew was chuckling from his look out in heaven, then realized that both God and all the higher powers up there had a very sadistic sense of humor.

Examining Sesshomaru's face, Kagome took several steps forward; hesitant of what he might do if she came into arm's reach. She HAD just barely escaped a close encounter with someone that obviously couldn't keep his head out of his pants. After no movement presented itself from the demon, Kagome raised her hand, drawing back, then slapped forcefully across his already glowing cheek. A red imprint lay burning across his face, stinging something fierce as the stunned expression of the demon morphed into utter rage. "What the hell was that for?!" Sesshomaru snarled in her face, losing that once calm control he had shaped since child hood. Could it be he was merging with his other self without realizing it?

Standing defiantly against his might, the human woman crossed both hands across her breasts, ready to rear back and take another shot at his once smug face. "You, ASS, crawled in bed with me when you knew I told you not too. And then I wake up to find you with a stiffy for heaven knows what, stabbing it into my thigh, and then....!" the climax to her outrage came to its final cashendo, having Kagome flash him a look at her bare neck. "You bit the hell out of me!"

The wounds were closing, and thus would leave visual scars once completely healed, but that was not what concerned her for the moment. The look on Sesshomaru's face twisted, his heart pounded against his rib cage until all the color drained from his face. Something flickered deep inside his locked eyes; never did the taiyoukai allow them to stray from the injury he had carelessly inflicted. Sesshomaru backed away, almost in a daze; a sense of terror smothered his jerky movements. "No." he mouthed, taking another step away. "No." he whispered this, finding Kagome riddled with confusion.

Sesshomaru bowed his head, shamefully hiding his face underneath all those shinning bangs, concealing the expression that began it's assault, stretching his lips into a tight line and furrow his brows regretfully. 'I couldn't have.... I shouldn't have.' the demon wanted to shield his face, regretting of ever joining her to slumber last night. It was a poor judgment call he would never cease to torture himself over. The inner child merely shook his head; shrugging his shoulders at the brewing turmoil his adult self was now entangled in. how was this so wrong? True that Kagome had been bitten, but she would live. Was there another dimension behind this Sesshomaru refused to admit?

Throwing the guilt down to the bottom of his gullet, Sesshomaru took off through the house, pushing Kagome aside for his retreat. The coldness pumped into his veins, clogging his breath until both lungs screamed for replenishment, spazing every muscle until her scent no longer drowned his nostrils. The memories, they wouldn't leave, wouldn't stay hidden, they lashed out until both Sesshomaru's nearly collapsed from the after shocks. The reaction was so peculiar, something Kagome wasn't expecting at all. "Wait a minute, I'm not through screaming at you."

"Leave me be wench, I wish to be alone." she caught his hand there at the last, holding him close to her warmth. "What's got your panties in a twist? Just apologize to me so we can forget it."

That only caused him to squirm inwardly, sighing distantly while lifting his gaze to her's without response. 'Kagome.....' his thoughts stampeded for the right words, struggling to either speak the truth or leave all lost only to him. For the first time in his entire life, the great demon lord felt utterly helpless bound to the world's mercy. No smooth, authorative word wiggled its way to his mouth, leaving behind only the bitter taste of hate and Kagome's sweetness to settle on the demon's tongue. Grinding the emotions down into a grainy pulp, Sesshomaru thus wrenched away, wounding the lady's heart with his constant silence. He couldn't even look her in the eye anymore.

"Forgive me." those simple words were the only thing he could regurgitate without chocking, bestowing him enough time to slip away outside and away from temptation. She had allowed him to run, stunned, hurt, scarred inwardly by his male insensitivity. What else could she do? Kagome was but a human, nothing compared to the strength and speed of a demon on the run, it seemed he would always try to escape her for reason's all his own. Never would the proud image share his truest thoughts, not even with himself. She had little chance to ever know the person she was beginning to cherish, in ways she had promised never to experience with anyone ever again.

Batting her lashes, Kagome stared off at his loan figure, watching the way Sesshomaru bounded over the trees to some unseen destination. Where did he go to seek shelter? Was it far; was it anywhere so long as it was away from her? That stung a part of Kagome she thought dead due to her love's demise.

But the prick of rejection still hurt, meaning not all her tenderness had withered away into dust. Slumping on the doorframe, she continued to watch even when the one she was so fond have disappeared from sight. Kagome massaged the bite marks gently, leaning her forehead against the smooth wood. 'I know what this means to your kind, Sesshomaru. Inuyasha told me long ago the significance but never did he touch me like that. You don't need to feel shame, don't make me feel ashamed to have your mark on me. They'll fade with time, and we can forget the mistake you made...... in time.'

Her memories turned, picking out the night she and Inuyasha had made love for the first time. He was so gentle, far more than she thought the rough hanyou could be, but he was passionate and encouraging. All the things she admired in her lover. And then, Kagome remembered the information the bright-eyed Inuyasha had reluctantly admitted, the conversation she could never forget.

FLASH BACK

_"Kagome, I love you." he repeated this over and over, and each time it sent her soul souring to the stars. He cuddled closer, nipping her ear with one fang in a teasing manner, jotting down every inch of her tender spots for later reference. Her ears, like his, were the most sensitive part on her body. Along with her lips, how he loved testing them, tasting them, swarming her body with his. _

_They were lying on the bed, exhausted but content. Inuyasha had so much energy; enough Kagome felt she might not be able to keep up with him for much longer. "Do you really love me?" "Do you think I'd keep saying it if I didn't mean it?" he felt a little put off she would question his integrity, but that was Kagome for you. Always questioning, always second guessing the obvious. Slowly taking this piece of information in, Kagome bowed her head, feeling her pulse speed with excitement and joy. She wanted to capture this moment for all time, never would she let this go, never. This was her way of life, and in this night, and the arms of the one you eternally love, it felt like it would last forever, that nothing was so cruel as to end it._

_Inuyasha felt his mate tremble just a bit, bringing the thick covers up to her chin while cradling his love protectively against his body. His fang's lengthened at the thought of her petite frame pressed against his, of smashing and molding them together until all the world melted away again, rocking the celestial heavens in the ultimate sacrifice one can give to their life mate. All the wild blood burned for possession of this woman again. He wanted to make sure his claim on her would never fade, that his smell remained for all time as a promising threat and a deadly warning to those that wished her harm._

_Kagome felt his breath grow moist and hot with passion, she still hadn't reclaimed her lost energy, panting heavily to find some air. "Give me time to recuperate dog boy, I'm not an animal like you." she giggled, having him chuckle darkly against the nape of her neck. "Hurry wench, I can't wait long." one cool fang grazed over her flesh, sending her to quiver from the feral touch. Goosebumps prickled down to her legs, her breath caught suddenly when the long canine began to penetrate her skin. "What are you doing?" Kagome's voice rocked from worry, squeaking, forcing her to squirm in his hold to turn around._

_It took Inuyasha several seconds but he managed to fight down the animal urges, keeping Kagome locked so she never saw the rising demon inside, the bloodthirsty predator that roared for release. "N-nothing. It was nothing."_

_"Don't nothing me, what were you going to do?"_

_"It's alright, I wasn't..... I'm not going to do it now. It was nothing."_

_Finding enough strength to break his hold, Kagome finally found his down cast amber orbs, gliding her fingers under his chin until he saw nothing but her understanding glow. "It's alright, I wont flip out when you tell me, and I've been scared far worse. Such as when you took your clothes off." Inuyasha gave an unamused sneer, but the sadness in the depths of his swiveling eyes made all his efforts to still remain tough melt away. "I was going to........ It's not important." he growled, turning towards the window, just knowing she was giving him THAT look. Her fixated glare forced a large lump to finally fall into the pit of his stomach, knowing he was already defeated on the argument._

_"I was going to mark you, as a warning to other males of who you belong too." Inuyasha tried to still play the tough card, snorting with a fake smile. "Pretty selfish of me, huh?"_

_"I think it's very sweet. Go ahead if you want, I'm yours in all other ways. Make it official, so long as we can get married later this spring." she brought her throat to his lips, but the hanyou only kissed the heated elegance, whispering soft lulling sounds against the flesh. "Never. I'd never hurt you for that. This creamy skin....... I vow not to ruin it for my sake." bringing her face down to meet his, Inuyasha smiled fondly towards the only woman that meant anything to him. Never did he imagine loving someone, not so deeply like this. "We have a love that doesn't need marking." he kissed her chin, "everyone knows this." he nibbled just slightly to cause Kagome to cue in ecstasy. _

_Yes, she would always love him, and nothing was going to change this. She had since the moment she first met this golden-eyed hero..................... she loved him then, when his silver hair had blanketed her against the monsters and the night, and his glowing eyes sparked life back into her fragile frame, promising a life she would cherish so long as it was beside him. That first time in the woods, the stranger that stole her heart even when she was only a child. This was love, and it never faded for them._

End FLASHBACK

Yes, she knew Sesshomaru's reasons for departing, the guilt that ate away at one who had left his mark on a thing he so despised. He hated human's, not one or two, but all. And no matter how kindly she was to him, no matter how calm he remained when she was around, there was always a thick tension in the air. Something lay between them, something Sesshomaru loathed. So had it been purely instincts that drove the demon in his slumber, or the temptation of a woman crushed underneath his weight? Kagome only furrowed her brows, shaking her head trying to figure out that complex creature. 'The scars will fade, just like the pain.' she kept reassuring herself.

She couldn't help but smile at the unexpectedness of this morning, it was pretty funny once it was over and she had the time to think about it. Poor little Sessh, he had no idea how to be a man, and it seemed the adult only mocked him for his ignorance. 'If only I could womp him, I would smack the crazy clean out of him if there was a way.' she held up a fist, thinking only of Sessh's well being. He was, in all actuality, HER kid for the moment. She needed to be more understanding, more like a mother and teacher than ever if his other wasn't going to participate in rearing a young mind.

Twirling back into the house, Kagome immediately began her daily routine of herb smashing and other things. She wanted to busy her mind, to not think to deeply into this matter. Sesshomaru was a dick, and he could wait. She WOULD wait, and when Sesshomaru got back, they were defiantly having the bird and the bee's talk. Or at least, Sessh was going to tell himself. It was a man's job to tell a boy about...... er.... man stuff, she would just serve as a referee on the sidelines, watching for any fouls.

And if that mutt head refused, then there was always the lecherous monk Miroku to take over on the fatherly part. 'Oooooooh, I get chill's just thinking what that man would tell him. Probably how to build an immunity to pepper spray.' like Miroku had done while courting poor Sango. Kagome could honestly say that the monk was fully capable to withstand a beating, enough to probably teach little Sessh a thing or two. Chuckling at the thought, it was still something to shutter over. Miroku teaching Sesshomaru....... maybe she should rethink this, just a tiny bit. "Lets just hope Sesshomaru is willing to help on sex ed. I don't want to be caught in the middle, it's scary."

……………………………

Mid-day came, and still she hadn't seen hide nor hair of her demon guardian anywhere. Did he plan to EVER come back? It's not like he committed some sort of treacherous crime, he just gave her one hell of a hickey. The ultimate love bite. Kagome giggled like a stupid schoolgirl at that thought, blushing down to her toes with an infectious laugh. 'Love bite, hehe, that's rich.'

But the worry still chewed on the corners of her mind, forcing her lip to tremble uncontrollably. Not again, she was not going to lose another person. She was NOT going to sit around, pondering on the worst, never knowing what happened. ' Time to take charge, time to be the one to wear the pants in this family.' if you could call this a family, and over look her dress. The determination dissipated, her game face fell along with the sweat droplet. Sure, like Sesshomaru was ever going to listen to her. That was about as likely as snow in hell, or male pregnancy..... Which by the way would be an openly welcomed.

Lifting her scarf, Kagome wound it around her neck, heading out into the cool day. Time to go puppy dog hunting, something she had been pushing off to the last minute, like always. Taking one quick sweep of the black stained clouds, Kagome noticed the sun setting earlier each day, taking with it the golden heat until only icy shadows soaked into everyone's bones. Kagome hugged the fabric closer; tightening her hold on the usual basket she carried around. This day was just miserable, with the wind gnashing at her exposed skin until the spots turned red from frostbite. Grumbling at the chilly nip, she strode to her little gate, thus beginning to walk down the dirt trail in a wild goose chase. He was going to get an earful for this, she would be sure of that.

That is, until the image of Sesshomaru caught her wandering eye, a glimpse of the motionless demon sitting in a complete hush. He just remained planted to that one spot, staring off into a world only his eyes saw, out into the swaying branches of the sakura tree. This made all the concerns immediately disappear; heaviness lifted from Kagome's chest to have a sigh escape her lips with over whelming joy.

He was safe, safe next to her home, seated in the low branches of her tree. "There you are, I was worried something happened." he didn't answer, still glaring off into some unseen vision. "Are you okay?" still nothing. Kagome doubted he even heard a word she uttered. Pouting indignantly, she threw a pebble towards his chest, smacking the taiyoukai dead center in the head. 'Oops. Nice shooting Tex.' was the only thing ringing in her thoughts as she placed a hand over her halfly parted mouth. The demon stared darkly in the woman's general direction; nostril's flaring at the audasity. He wasn't in the mood to deal with her, nor had chucking a small rock make him feel any better about it.

"What do you want wench?"

' Okay, he's not gonna kill me just yet. I'm a-okay!' shrugging, Kagome looked around, feeling the winter wind nip at her nose. "Are you done with your hissy fit up there? I could use some help carrying stuff to a friends house." was that all? Sesshomaru turned away from Kagome, watching the lingering storm clouds spread in the distance. "It will rain soon."

"Are you going to help or not?" she hated having to break her neck just to look up, talking to someone that already stood well over a foot to her. The demon produced a feh to the question, finding his comfortable spot again in the limbs, refusing himself the luxury to argue further. 'I take that as a no then.' Kagome flipped him the finger, then headed down the road, tucking her head firmly in her coat, hiding any exposed part best she could. She hated getting colds, the only thing she could never cure with the little herbs alone.

If she were lucky the sun would burst out and give at least a little warmth until she made it to Sango and Miroku's home. She was a little giddy to see them again, it had to be at least seven months since last they spoke, and Kagome couldn't wait to play with their constantly growing family. They had to have at least four kids by now at the way Miroku went at it, the couple reminding Kagome of a bunch of rabbits. You get two together and then you have an entire flock drowning you in their killing fluffiness. And there was also Kohaku residing in their house, making those five kids in all to one family. 'Yesh, I don't think I could ever have that many. One seem's hard enough to handle.' that forced her to think of Sesshomaru and his stubbornness, and then she times it by four. 'WHAT A NIGHTMARE!' the thought made Kagome want to pull her hair out. Never would she have that many kids, NEVER!

Kagome became lost in those drifting thoughts; never realizing her traveling companion was immediately beside her, very quiet and very close. It took the warm foreign heat to snap Kagome back into the real world, "so, Mr. grumpy decided to join me after all." Sesshomaru gave a side wards glance, signaling nothing to remark with. This was defiantly not the fun loving Sessh she was hoping for, and it would be rude to tell them to switch just for her convenience. The suggestion alone would most likely send the adult into a killing spree all together, roaring and foaming of her impudence.

Sesshomaru laced his fingers over hers; tugging the large basket from Kagome's hand with a force she didn't attempt to argue with. If he insisted to carry the thing and look totally ridiculous in the process, let him. It was amusing to have such a large demon carrying a basket of cupcakes and medicine. A sight Kagome knew she would never get a glimpse of again. "Um.... where did you go this morning?" "Away."

Smacking her lips, Kagome looked up at the sky, trying to keep her focus on anything but him. "To the lake?" he never answered. "Are you going to tell me anything?" still nothing, and he didn't indicate of answering her constant pribing. Very well, if he was going to be stubborn then so be it, she really didn't care anyways. Or at least, that's what she kept telling herself when her mind found Sesshomaru to be the most interesting creature around.

Turning to gaze down upon Kagome's face, Sesshomaru swallowed hard, tilting his upper body slightly to whisper into her ear, "he didn't mean to do it." it was the child, giving the best apology he could muster. "It doesn't really matter to me, I know that. I'm just angry that he can't come out and take responsibility for himself." and all three knew exactly what she meant as she stared deeply into the eyes of her demon friend, through the golden mirrors until they rested upon the guilt ridden one.

Sucking on his tongue, Sesshomaru choked a little, looking very much saddened. "He's not gonna come out. He say's he just wants to be alone for a while and only came back because....." his body fell forward, like someone had just knocked him on the back of the head, "owie. Alright, I wont tell her everything." the kid whimpered, still massaging the soar part.

This reminded Kagome much of last night, and the awkward yet amusing argument he had with himself. 'Dang, he must have it hard in there.' Kagome meagerly thought, trying to figure out what it was little Sessh was about to tell her. "What was he saying?" she whispered, a mischievous smile etched onto her face.

Looking around, as if he could see the next blow before it came, Sessh just leaned in closer, grinning all the same, "I talk, he say's he's gonna hang me by the tail off the next cliff we come across or boil me alive in the hot spring." "I'm willing to take that chance." Kagome teased, jabbing her friend lightly with her elbow and a wink. The child just giggled, bending over to the dirt road on one knee as he continued explaining, "He never said I couldn't write it down."

'NO!!!!!!!!!!' Sesshomaru screamed at the little midget, leaping forward onto the inner child, wrestling him down to their subconsciounce ground. 'I warned you runt, I don't want her to know every detail of my life.' the adult held the kid in a headlock, his tail shackling the youngsters feet together.

Sessh struggled, jotting down the best he could with his finger, squirming with all he had to find release. 'She asked, I'm not gonna lie just to cover your butt.'

'I WILL kill you if you tell her anything.' Sesshomaru changed positions, now having Sessh's leg bending clear up to the back of his head. (I watch the Rock wrestle sometimes, so sue me.) The child squealed, beating his hands into the ground, 'I give, I give. I'm not telling, I never even opened my mouth.'

'Damn right. You will not live to tell.'

Once the wrestling battle ended, Sessh dusted himself off, only imagining what the battle from the outside looked like to Kagome's point of view. It had to be a spectacle Kagome wished she could sell tickets too. 'Just look. She's all happy to find out what you said.' Sessh pointed so they could both see her startled expression, then watched as it brightened up to burst into laughter, then tears. He had managed to write out the message, to the horror of lord Sesshomaru. "Oh Sessh. Both of you, that's so sweet." Kagome flung herself onto the kneeled demon, squeezing the life out of him with the deadly hug.

What was written on the ground were the most generous words Kagome had ever heard.....er... read.

_I only came back just to keep her safe, to know this woman better, and because I................ I'm sorry._

It was long, but little Sessh had got the word out. The unspoken truth that he had finally come to acknowledge. It nearly sent Kagome over the edge, she wanted to hug and kiss this egotistic prick, to tell him all she felt right now. But no, it was too soon to admit mixed feelings, feelings that probably didn't even exist. She had felt alone, and with good reason since she hadn't left her cottage until recently, and Sesshomaru filled her life with things long ago lost. Perhaps what she felt was a fondness, gratitude, he needed her help now and again giving a sense of importance in her life. She felt wanted and, from little Sessh, loved.

Yes, Sessh would always love her, purely friends. But the other, he seemed to never give his trust away so easily, never did he act without thought..... Unless he was asleep. Sesshomaru and Sessh, two completely different people mixed into one. And yet....... Sesshomaru wanted to know her. Was this a bend in his emotionless personality? Was she changing him?

"Woman, remove yourself from me." Sesshomaru growled his demand, but it went unheard. All's the lumbering demon could do was sit and absorb the shear wonder of Kagome pressed against him, willingly holding him. This moment splintered so many erased sensations, things he had felt and lost due to his cowardice many moons ago. 'You're so beautiful, so kind to me. Why must you hold me in such a way? Why must you.......? ?' The taiyoukai half closed his eyes, bending to her, opening to this human woman. His arms tensed, heart drummed into a frenzy, 'I wish you knew. If only you knew me, what I've done, who I am. You wouldn't hold me then, you wouldn't even look at me. Kagome......... I missed you.'

Slowly, the adult brought his arms up and around this treasure, keeping her safely caged within his embrace. He wanted to always hold her like this, to feel wanted and needed. To no longer know the life of an unwanted creature, or of the heartless person he once was. 'I just want you, and only you.' Sesshomaru smashed her closer, his long tail curled about them both. Yes, he could learn to love this, he could even love Kagome more than what she surely expected out of him.

'Does this mean you wont kill me?' little Sessh quizzed, head down, watching the way Sesshomaru hogged Kagome all to himself. The demon thus shook his head, taking a firmer hold on this woman. 'I wont, but tell her nothing else that transpires between us. If I wanted her to know I would speak it myself, is that understood?' the child nodded in approval, pushing at his other self so he may hug his friend.

'It's my turn.'

'Go away runt, the adult's are busy.'

'Busy my butt, your enjoying it and being a selfish brat.' the kid lunged forward, but the inner Sesshomaru just held up his foot, halting the kid's attempts and holding him back without much effort. 'Let me hug her, I want to hug her, it's not fair you bully it's my turn, let me hug Kagome. You wait until I tell Kagome-san about this your gonna be in so much trouble.' the child kept right on fighting, and Sesshomaru kept him at bay, lapping up the way this gentle human woman made him feel like he was finally......................... alive.

A smile began to grow until it took over in full force, causing Kagome to gasp once she felt it. She wasn't sure whom it was she had held for so long but that person was very soft, compassionate, and very much willing to her touch. She was further surprised to see such a broad grin, forcing her hand to travel up onto his mouth, tracing the heavenly erotic face in awe. "With that smile, Sesshomaru, you're so handsome."

The compliment made him look down at the ground sheepishly, trying to wipe away the everlasting smirk. He couldn't regain control over it; he couldn't force the weakness back into the regal nothingness. Just her admitting such a thing to him made it nearly impossible to remain stoic any longer. "T-thank you Kagome." the blush swept across his face, burning his skin until she was unable to contain the laughter at his instant shyness. "And that makes you even more handsome. Did anyone ever tell you that?"

The taiyoukai only bunched his shoulders up, taking on the appearance Sessh got when he felt embarrassed. 'Then that means........ Sesshomaru was hugging me?' it had to be, little Sessh would be talking a million miles per hour, saying this and that about how silly Sesshomaru was being and anything else that popped into his scattered mind. "A few people." Sesshomaru admitted, glancing up at her every now and then, making sure if she was still watching him. A glow radiated from Kagome's face, forcing her to bend over and place a tender kiss on the tip of his nose.

"What was that for?" his golden molten pools fell directly on the miko, full of question's and confusion towards her motive for such a gesture. Shrugging, Kagome didn't really know what to say, only that it was a spire of the moment sort of thing. "You looked like you could use it. Why, do you want me to take it back?"

Almost instantly Sesshomaru shook his head, placing his hand over the spot she had kissed. Once Kagome dusted herself off, she came up and helped her friend stand. "You seem shy all of a sudden. Did I embarrass you? Maybe just a teensy bit." the demon clasped the basket close to his side, having a very light smile pull on the ends of his lips. "No one has ever kissed me."

"Well you didn't have a problem when you did it to me. You also had about the same expression as I did too." they both kinda giggled, her bubbling laughter was too contagious to ignore.

Then the eerily quietness grew, the strange silence that lapsed over a serious topic hung thickly about their heads. Kagome felt it her job to find out what it was that forced him to be so surprised to have her feel affectionate towards him. He may be cold, but he wasn't always like that. She knew, deep down, Kagome knew what neither admitted. "You mean no one has EVER kissed you? You seem like a pro at it. Oh, I see, you've always been the one to kiss them, am I right?" he shook his head, then nodded as if confused to the right answer.

"People don't like to touch me." ' I wonder why with all that I'll-kill-you attitude. Your a joy to have around when your pissy.' why he was telling her such things made no sense, he never gave away any secrets, never revealed to much to one person. But after that..... After all she had done and said, and he to her, it didn't feel right leaving Kagome in the dark all the time. She knew next to nothing about him, which is probably a good thing now that he thought about it. He was full of things she shouldn't know, things she'd despise. It was safe to say where ever Sesshomaru went, death was sure to follow and hell came tumbling after.

Kagome trotted a little closer, having the demon serve as a windbreaker more than anything, but still she felt compelled to stand next to his lonely side. He was so shy it was practically adorable, and to leave the grim expression unattended too seemed an abomination in Kagome's book. "Not even your mom? She never kissed you good-night?" gulping, Sesshomaru trained his sights upon the road, blinking slowly. 'How sad.' Kagome whispered to herself, feeling a tinge of pity for the other personality she now grew to care for just as much.

When the silence became unbearable, Sesshomaru parted his lips to answer, never looking at anything but his own traveling feet, "yes, she did........ A long time ago." glancing up at the solemn face of the eager listener, the demon snorted, reclaiming any dignity he still clung too. "What are you looking at? save your pity for someone who give's a damn, wench. I could care less of what you think."

"Oh, that was real nice, it's because of that no one likes to be around you. You're a foul tempered, spoiled mutt with no manners at all. It's no wonder your mom gave up on you." Sesshomaru's once authoritive calm faded like the decaying days, causing the taiyoukai to stick his nose in the air once she finished, grumbling inwardly for relinquishing such information regarding himself. She striped his composure, crushed his pride, and babied him like an untrained child. Kagome could so easily worm her way into his core, corrupting his way of life until she climbed to the top of his hit list. A fait to befall even THIS human if she didn't watch her step, or her acidic serpents tongue.

How she wanted to punch him, along with herself. He was just starting to open up and SHE just had to go and make an ass out of them both. So she felt sorry for the guy, that didn't give him a right to snap at her like that, nor did that allow her to say such hurtful things to an already unstable individual like Sesshomaru. In turn, they were both in the wrong. So now, after the inward beat up, and cooling of her anger, Kagome looked up into his eyes. They were distant, cold, and fogged with something anyone could easily mistake for creeping tears.

Sesshomaru tried so hard to be seen as nothing but a well toned killer, to sculpt a fake mask and hide the one inside, the one that suffered. His eyes....... you needn't look far to realize what went on behind that faceless façade. Recognizing the mist, Kagome knew she had really done it now, suffering from foot-in-the-mouth syndrome. Just observing the way he kept focused strait ahead, the stiff movements, the constant batting to lock away the true pain, it was obvious they were all clear signs of the inner stab. "I'm sorry..." "You should be, worthless human parasite."

"I'm trying to apologize to you." she stopped in her tracks, hands on hips in disgust at his behavior. That was no way to forgive her, especially when she truly meant it; the dumbfounded look ate away at her expression. Sesshomaru kept on walking, never even attempting to acknowledge her existence. "Your supposed to say your forgiven." no response, not even a mumble to comply she had said anything at all, having the demon trudge his pace down the long corroded road. Kagome bowed her head in defeat, huffing out her frustration, fully understanding the reason for receiving the cold shoulder. 'That's what I get I suppose. We're never going to get along; he's just to damn moody..... Just like me.'

Kagome resumed her walking, still a distance behind "his majesty", thinking long and hard about her relationship with this guy. The quiet day was all that stood between the two travelers, not even the songbirds burst out into a musical choir. It was like the entire forest knew a silent predator lay in waiting, the tension mounting in the air, thickening with each treaded step. Kagome kept her face down, her shoulders slumping from tiny traces of guilt. They seemed to never understand one another, never would the pair go together in any way or form. When all appeared futile and Kagome a fraction of a step closer to giving up on Sesshomaru's crabby hide, that's when the quietest of whispers reached her ears, breaking all the taboo stillness, weaving in and out of the wind's hissing moan just to reach the pouting human woman, "your forgiven."


	9. To be a Man

Vixon: yes yes, last chapter was…….. hehehe very naughty I know. Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. School's been a butt giving me load after load of homework, and I've also been trying to get new chapter's on my brothers story as well. But it's all cool. At least I finally got around to this and in the next chapter is gonna be some serious explaining on what the hell I and Sesshomaru been beating around the bush about.

I also started a Naruto fanfic so check it out if love Kakasih(ness) stuff. It's not bad or anything, and I only have two chapters up but my friends say it's good an I just take there word on it. I also have another Sesshomaru fic coming soon. With an origional character to play tiddlywinks with his stone-like heart. So yah, I'm a busy girl. Enjoy the chapter.

**ch9 _"to be a man"_**

They reached Sango and Miroku's cottage, knowing they were getting close when the sounds of small wild children came ringing into the forest. "Is this your friends residence?" Sesshomaru inquired, standing next to her at the white picket fence. Kagome took in the crisp air, nodding merrily, grinning from ear to ear at the joyous atmosphere. The four kids had obviously caught wind of their 'aunt' Kagome's arrival instantly, barreling over the gate to climb up her dress. The overwhelming force knocked her down to the ground, sending a cashindo of squeals and laughter to ricochet down the plush hills.

"Kagome, we missed you."

"Kagome, did you bring any sweets?"

"Kagome, I'm starting a toenail collection, can I have a pinky clipping from you?"

They all squirmed and clung to her, jabbering away without even noticing her friend. "No, I like my toenails thank you very much, but I did bring cupcakes for everyone." she sat up only long enough to hand each a large sugary treat. Rubbing their tangled hair, Kagome brought her head up just as a loud cough caught her ears. "Oh yes," she began, motioning a hand to the forgotten demon, "this is Sesshomaru, but you can call him brainless fluffy if you want." "Excuses me?" Sesshomaru hissed towards the insult, having all the children turn eagerly in his general direction. His anger subsided, the annoyed expression smeared automatically into concern. Those frosted covered faces stared mischievously at their new play thing, the brightness in their eyes said more than the taiyoukai wished to know.

"No." Sesshomaru said, reading the tiny faces like open books. "No." he repeated, bringing both hands up to block himself from the tackle, only to find defeat from the onslaught of hugs and frosted cover kisses.

"Kagome, get them off, I don't like children. Help me woman." but the little tribe of humans already had their claws dug into him pretty deep, two were glued to his legs while the others had a hold of his arms and mid-section. Even Sango's little brother, Kohaku, held one arm, not at all afraid of a demon that hung around Kagome. This they learned when Inuyasha was around.

"You play nice." Kagome waved, not at all going to interfere with her friend's happy fun time. "Oh, and Sesshomaru," he turned towards that sirens voice, red smothering his vision with a piercing warning growl, "be a good babysitter and keep them out of trouble."

"They ARE trouble." the youkai snapped out under his breath, trying to shake the squealing leaches off. They were like fleas, latching on to irritate the hell out the one they clawed at. Sesshomaru's flailing only resulted in the kids bubble up with giggles, thinking him such an amusing ride and toy. The scene was pure gold, sending Kagome to cover her mouth from how absolutely cute Sessh appeared surrounded by energetic kids. "If you don't like it, let Sessh have some fun. He wont hurt any of them." she stood there waiting, tapping one foot while the adult sucked his breath in, closed his eyes, and had the red leave in a flash.

Sessh brought a wide smile to grace his features, hugging the affectionate pups down to the ground. He had so many little friends to play with, forcing the day to become that much brighter for the fun loving oaf. "When will I get to climb on one of you?" the demon teased, sending the youngest to go running towards Kagome in fear. "He'll squish me." the tiny 5 years old, Niko, whimpered, plopping a thumb in her mouth, finding a typical hiding place behind Kagome.

"Oh, honey, he's not really going to sit on you. Sessh was just joking."

They both turned towards the large demon, watching the way he was now currently pinning Kohaku to the ground with his butt, giving the whimpering boy ultimate noogies. Kagome tilted her head, purely defeated, 'that's right, prove me wrong.' this didn't help the little girls fears, with her sucking even harder on her finger. "Sessh, get your big butt off of him!"

The taiyoukai did as ordered, being tackled by the flattened boy. "Wet willies!" Kohaku screamed, along with all the other kids. That only prompted Kagome to slap her head. 'Boys. You try to help and they just rebel against you. How does Sango manage?' "Kagome!!!" a familiar voice hollered, with the adults to rush out and greet their old friend. "It's been too long, we've all missed you. Here, come and have some tea. You look like you could use a drink." Sango said all this while squishing the breath out of her friend in one of her over bearing hugs.

"Is it alcoholic?" Kagome smirked, acting like that was the only thing in the world she needed. A beer and a good excuse to get hammered. Sango gave her friend a tempting grin, nudging the other towards the porch, "I'll see what I can do. Vodka, or sex on the beach?"

The girls giggled as the image of Miroku came into view, waiting on the porch expectantly, already on the refreshment deal. The man took a sweep over to the dog pile of arms and legs, having the happiness glow in his face at the familiar scene, "I see Inuyasha is still his playful self." the monk began, not realizing the severity of his words as the hurt littered Kagome's expression. The silence choked her, but she still tried to hold that weak grin for them. Never did she want them to be swept away into her sorrow, not her cherished friends.

That was a fait for only her to carry and allowing them to fall with her would only make it that much more unbearable. "O-oh, that's not Inuyasha. I received news that he.......... he wont be....... " Sango knew exactly what she was trying to speak, the hidden tears Kagome tried to swallow were forever present in those struggle of word play. Slapping her mush for brain husband, Sango thus sat beside her best friend to comfort any way she could, mumbling a foul curse towards her idiot husband.

"Then who, pray tell, is playing with our children? Surely not Kouga, I wont have that roughen around them. No offense."

"None taken. That's Sesshomaru. Don't worry, he's really gentle. Well...... one is anyways." the parents exchanged looks, sipping quietly on the tea. Kagome instantly caught their reactions, waving a dismissing hand to clear the air. "Oh, hehe, I'm sorry. Maybe I should explain."

"Yes please, it would make us feel a lot better."

……………………………….

After the whole story came to an end, Kagome downed her fifthteenth cup of tea, nerves trying to go into over time. Sango held a wide eye stare while her husband continuously nodded his head, making strange little yep sounds from behind his cup. "He's not really that bad, I mean other than being a butt every now and then. He's a great cook, I'll give him that." still, her friends remained silent, watching the kids, plus one adult demon, play freeze tag out in the field. And from what they could tell from this distance, Sessh was cheating.

"Well?"

"...." Their only response.

"I guess, that's understandable. How do you come across such strange people?" Miroku lifted a brow, watching Kagome squirm in her seat at the playful tone. "I just do, like how I met you guys." they all exchanged smile's, Sango finally clapping her hands together, taking in a calming breath to clear her head. "Alright, I guess I can buy that. Though it hurts that you should call us weird." she gave a fake pouty face, "but I trust you're judgment Kag. He is actually kinda cute."

"What? Honey, that's fightin words you speak. Does this hunk of man meat not please you anymore?" a red tint covered Sango's cheeks as her husband thus began the stroking of her upper thigh. She quickly slapped the lecherous appendage away, keeping her eyes on that Horney basterd, "not in front of public."

"You know you've always wanted to do it in front of people, my dear sweet Sango. I'm always up for the challenge."

"Shush. Later." they seemed to have forgotten Kagome was even there, whispering to each other as Miroku became bolder by each refusal. "Monk, I WILL chain you to the bed if you don't quit it." "I like it when you take charge."

Kagome set her cup aside, darting her eyes towards the sky trying to get this conversation out of her head. She didn't even WANT to picture these two going at it, figuring it was just like Miroku to start talking dirty as a means for foreplay. Which, by the way, wasn't working. Picking at her dress nervously, she finally coughed to interrupt this little reenactment of down and nasty moments, wanting to sway the topic elsewhere if that was all right with them.

"O-oh... uh, yes, is there something else you would like to share with us?" it seemed Miroku had an eye for the obvious, once his hand was no longer up Sango's dress.. "I... uh.... you see....." this was rather embarrassing to ask, having Kagome to take a quick glance over to the fluffy demon in the distance. How would she word this? The miko bit her lip, finally sucking it up long enough to puff her chest out and ready herself for this mouthful. "Ineedyoutoexplaintohimaboutsex!" 'There, that wasn't so bad.' Kagome reassured herself, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"Pardon, I didn't catch that. My ears don't hear that fast."

Kagome's eyelid twitched, a pulse mark formed on the side of her blushing head. Slowing down her speaking ability, she thus repeated what it was in a much more calmer pace, knowing Miroku was going to kill her later for this. "I need you," a finger pointed towards Miroku, "to explain to him," the same finger traveled to Sesshomaru, "about gulp sex." the monks cup clattered into his lap, hot beverage and all.

"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT!?!?!" he no longer had fantasies of his wife hot and naked running through his mind. That little statement was like a million cold showers all at once, dousing those once burning passionate flames.

A giggle escaped his wife, forcing the same to befall Kagome just looking at the stupefied look on the monks face. "He is a man sweety, he must be taught." Sango wasn't even attempting to defend him. 'Some wife you are.'

"N-not with me he doesn't. Have his 'other' inform him on the matter. I'm not teaching a grown man about how to use his...."

"KAGOME-SAN!!! I'm being outnumbered." they all turned towards the exhausted demon hidden under a mosh pit of tiny humans. Only his waving arm could be seen and a lifted tail wrapped around Niko's waist to keep her from the danger of getting squished. "There he goes again, getting himself in a mess." Kagome muttered like a mother, shaking her head at the pitiful scene.

Once Sesshomaru squirmed out from under the laughing children the women turned back to a red faced Miroku. "I refuse to do It." he stubbornly crossed his arms, turning away from their eager stares. "Oh, come on monk, who else knows everything about sex? You do. You do." they jabbed playful elbows into his sides, snickering at his chipping resistance. "No, woman, I will not. I have yet to prepare myself for when I must tell Kohaku." which that time was fastly approaching.

Whimpering pathetically, Kagome did the puppy dog look, followed by Sango's pleading expression. "Sesshomaru won't help at all, you have to tell him. Pleeeeeeease."

In the end, what choice did Miroku have? It was either have the sit down or no sex, which Miroku declared unfair and cheatsies. (How would Miroku ever survive?!) The lecherous monk bowed his head, sighing for preparation. "Hai, hai." he mumbled, wanting to spat some very disturbing insults to the closest living creature. "Let's just get this over with than."

…………………………..

The room was locked up tightly, Miroku pausing in front of his 'pupil'. The monk held a hand up to his chin; riled over some matter that Sesshomaru couldn't quite place his finger on. The laughter of the children outdoors sprung by the window, forcing the standing man to dash towards the open shutters and draw the curtains, hair standing on end for the virgin ears just a breath away.

Sessh sat crossed legged on a stool, plucking at his clothes nervously from the tense energy radiating off of the other male. Kagome had hinted that a VERY educational surprise waited inside this room, but never did she inform him on what exactly it consisted of. The monk leaned his forehead against the wall; eyes closed and back to his student. Raising a hand, even though Miroku couldn't see it, Sessh opened his mouth to question the reasons behind this. "So what's so important I can't go outside and play?"

The child-like voice threw Miroku into a sweating stuttering shell of a man, waving aside the question like it had some foul stench offending his senses. "Oh, yes well......" he tried, lord help him he tried to hold a very innocent smile for the curious demon, but sadly, it was dripping. There was really no point in standing here, acting the fool, when he was going to have to explain the dreaded topic sooner or later, though he would have loved it to be much MUCH later. Glued to his spot, the uncomfortableness increased, tightening each second the subject was dodged.

Miroku coughed into one hand, a nervous habit formed over many years of possessing unique friends and their favors, placing on his game face. "It seems lady Kagome has informed me of some....... activity this morning that she felt needed dealing with."

"Activity, what activity? I don't know what you're talking about." Sessh searched the room for unseen phantoms, palms sweating, voice shaking due to what this man wished to discuss. It was embarrassing enough Kagome had been there going AWOL over the matter, but did she have to share it with everyone they came across? Was there no privacy in his life?!

The monk rubbed the back of his head, chuckling hastily to relax his student. Why was something that seemed so easy being so hard to talk about? It just didn't feel right, and Sesshomaru didn't seem interested one little bit about his manly functions. "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, you can tell me what happened." still the demon crossed his arms, puffing out his cheeks, taking on a stubborn appearance that had Miroku knowing this was going to be a looooooong talk. 'How did those women get me into this mess? Curse them and their feminine charms.'

Sessh shoulders slumped, his golden pools finally resting on his tutor. "I had an accident."

"It happens to the best of us." according to Miroku, this coming from a man that if he had it his way would never get out of bed, with his wife shackled to him. The demon gave a tiny smirk, scratching the back of his head, "So why did it happen to me? No matter what I did I couldn't get rid of it. Sesshomaru had to help, though he wont stop teasing me about it, when it was that baka's fault I was in that mess." the child grumbled, angered at the embarrassment he had to endure.

Placing a thoughtful finger to his chin, Miroku nodded many times before commenting, "How was it his fault YOU were in the same bed as lady Kagome? Does she normally allow this?"

"No. She always wants me to sleep on the floor, but I can't help it. I got scared the first night, and I don't even know how I was in it last night. I fell asleep before she did so it wasn't me, I swear." that was a genuine truth, from a demon that seemed to not possess a false bone in his body.

Miroku walked over to his new friend, looking the taiyoukai square in the eye, "it appears that you're other has some sexual tension than. Perhaps it best to get laid every once and a while. A man can not go too long without being in the game of bed sport."

"WHAT?!!!! Bed sport?!! What?!!!! Are.... are you coming on to me?" Sesshomaru squeaked, pulling away from the one eyeing him so. Miroku placed a hand onto the bridge of his nose, rubbing it profusely to ease the building stress. Perhaps that didn't come out right, and now his pupil had a fear that shouldn't be there in the first place. 'Oh yes, this will be a long day indeed.'

…………………………

The women sat in the kitchen, Sango preparing lunch while Kagome chattered away about all the misshapes between her and her unique bed buddy. "Sango, do you think what I'm doing is wrong?" Kagome bowed her head, starring deeply into the wood grains of her friend's home. She had felt somewhat guilty, keeping her demon companion cooped up in her cottage, harassing him repeatedly when ever he unknowingly stepped too close for her comfort. He was, in all actuality, a child on the inside. And as for his other mature self, well..... He had no excuse for his personality flaws.

Sango set the teacups into the cabinet, giving this woman a queer expression, "no. I think what you're doing is quite noble. Charitable to such a suffering individual like him. With out you, he surely would have died from those wounds, and not have a soul to protect him in these hard time's." the slender Sango rested a tender hand over Kagome's, beaming confidently at the unsurity brewing inside the other. "You are a true friend for him, and you should be rightly proud at the progress he has come along. Don't worry about a thing, it will all work out in the end. And Miroku knot's what he's talking about when it comes too..... You know what."

She winked at Kagome as she fretted endlessly over nothing, trying to place a smile back over the new parents face. Yes, that's what Kagome was at the moment, keeper of one seemingly innocent child in a gorgeous man's body. Oh, and she was also responsible for one jack off personality that just so came with the territory. 'That know-it-all and his stupid ness.' she grumbled inwardly, forcing a smirk to her features for Sango's sake.

"Um, Sango? Miroku wouldn't get into detail with any of this man talk, w-would he?"

"Nah. He might explain the basic's but I think that's about it."

The two exchanged expressions, a sweat droplet formed on both their heads. This was Miroku they were talking about. "He MIGHT?" Kagome asked, skeptical at all that was the hentai in the group. That lecherous monk was probably whipping out his freakin bible, the sutra contra, and showing poor Sessh all the best moves. The same thought struck them both simultaneously, leaving only a blur of where they had once been.

A giggle was heard from within the shut room, then the encouraging voice of the monk behind a closed door. Kagome went to knock, but her hand fell short of pleasantries when Sessh spoke up in his usual chipper mood, "like this?"

"Yes, you've got it."

The women turned to one another, Kagome gnawing her lower lip feverishly. She kicked the wood, flinging the door wide open in panic, only to be greeted by both male's blank expression's from her intrusion. The women were nearly transparent at the little lesson they had walked in on.

Sitting leisurely in different chairs, the men stared blankly up at the women as Miroku placed a familiar looking book behind his back. Sango bore daggers into his immortal soul while the color drained from both Kagome and Sango's faces, though Kagome had just enough strength left to observe what it was Sessh was doing.

Sesshomaru had a strange make shaft dummy sitting next to him. That, from what Kagome could tell, was supposed to be in the shape of a woman. His hand was leisurely behind it's back, for reason's only known to him and Miroku. The dummy was made from one pillow, a lovely light blue shirt, Sango's bra, and two apples that represented firm red boobs. Just as Kagome went to make an attempt to stutter, Sesshomaru snapped his fingers, forcing the bra's hooks to become undone and fall loosely with it's cargo, the apples spilling onto the floor with a thud.

Both women fell over, legs twitchin in the air at the newly born pervert in the vicinity. "GOD DANG IT MIROKU!!! You were supposed to teach him about sex!" Sango screamed into her husband's ear, throwing him up against the wall by her yelling. Kagome was still in utter shock, having one of the fake boobs roll next to her head as she tried desperately to recollect herself.

"But my dear pet, I did teach him the basic's but he is already taught. I was merely showing my gifted student the art of arousing his prey. Like you're always saying, Sango, foreplay is what I always forget. Let us try to show him the proper way, that dummy doesn't do justice to you." Miroku made a move to kindle Sango's fires, but she was already upon him like a wild cat ripping out the jugular.

"That things supposed to be ME?!!" after that said, er... screamed, he was rightly rammed repeatedly into the wall, having his homicidal wife placing cracks into the bricks telling him to shut up; her face flashing through every red shade imaginable.

Sesshomaru scrunched up his shoulders, now waiting his turn for a lecture he was bound to get an earful of. "I've almost got it down Kagome-san, just a few more tries and I'll be a pro at it like unconsciousness big brother over there." Kagome made her way to the hulking demon, pulling him out of the room by his ear.

"No no no no no no! This is bad. Very very bad and we shall never speak of it again." Kagome took the demon out of the house, only long enough to get strait what ever the hell Miroku was teaching him in there. "Well, first he told me about... hehe, you know." Sessh poked his pointer fingers together, blushing underneath his silver bangs while giving that sweet sheepish look towards his Kagome-san.

"And then he said stuff about a-rous-aling. Or foreplay to get the woman hot and- "

"Skip that." Kagome blurted out, raising a hand so to halt his descriptions. Sesshomaru smirked slightly, scratching his head nervously from further embarrassing, but true, details absorbed, "he showed me some colorful pictures that were in his book. And the naked people were doing these weird somersaulting stuff to each other that looked really fun." 'Yeah, I bet it's fun, and that damn monks' probably done every sick position humanly possible.' the woman growled inwardly, wanting Sango to leave that man some what conscious for her turn to pound the snot out of him. He was in full heritance of the wrath for polluting her friends fragile little mind.

"And after all that," Sessh continued, "Sesshomaru wanted to ask some question's and Miroku was more than happy to teach us about that g-spot thing Sango love's so much."

"AHH! No more, no.... wait. Sesshomaru didn't know anything about this kinda stuff?" Sessh shook his head, shrugging to emphasize the great demon's own ignorance. "He knows some stuff, but not as much as big brother. That's for sure." that sent a giggle to escape Kagome's lips, staring deeply into her friends eyes, "that must be embarrassing to admit, ey Sesshomaru?" a flicker radiated from the depths of his locked gaze, twitching one of his lids at her impudence.

"At least I'm informed now. Perhaps I should practice more often." Sesshomaru gave a menacing smirk, leaning into Kagome's face to intimidate her into a withdrawn shell.

She backed away, but he was still upon her, smothering the space between them, lingering ever closer just to upset the woman further. "Stay back, or I'll go get Sessh to stomp you."

"Ha, you make me laugh."

"And you're making me bitchy, stop It." the taiyoukai straitened to his full height, not at all fazed by her idol threats. Slipping to Kagome's rigid side, the demon thus held her in place with one hand nestled on her hip, traveling up in slow, torturous strokes. It was an elegant move that nearly caught the human off guard, though she had learned long ago that this man was as predictable as the weather in green country. (Yes, I live in the good ole tornado alley, and I still, to this day, can't tell you what it's gonna be like outside. so, if weather had an ass, I'd kick it. grrrr, stupid weather and it's STUPIDNESS!)

"Are you afraid of me, Ka-go-me-san?" Sesshomaru still possessed the control in this situation, stroking one finger gently over her neck to pull back a lose strand.

Gulping at the cool claw grazing over her flesh, Kagome wanted to back away from his touch, to strike out if he insisted on this sick game of his. "N-no."

"Liar." he dipped his head closer to hers, exhaling a hot breath onto her porcelain skin, whispering heavily into the woman's tingling lobe, "rain will ruin you're dignity." what was that supposed to mean?

Staring blankly up at the taiyoukai, her eyes widened at the serene expression possessing his face, like his hand possessed her body for the moment. The look was no longer stone hard or hateful, but soft in every contrast while cast upon her. The lines around his frown disappeared completely, giving Kagome the impression she was some sort of eye candy for his pleasing. A soft trickle fell on the tip of Kagome's nose, the splash of the first rain drop finding a perch on her confused and flushed face, decimated the longing in her stormy gaze.

Bending further, Sesshomaru's pupils slit feral like as he thus began to kiss the wetness away, suckling the edge of her nose to quench his undying thirst. The hungry tongue lapped away the purity in that droplet, electrifying Kagome's body with every flicker he teased her with. Stroking her back in small warm circle's, the taiyoukai purred deep in his throat at the sweet honey flavor, keeping his prey calm and subordinate while he performed this task.

He didn't want to find her catching a cold trying to scold him, nor be burdened with unnecessary needs once that white blouse of hers became soaked and her hair sticking temptingly to her lush curves. All this was merely a means to an end, one he found enjoying far too much for his taste. 'Just stay still, I want this perfect.'

Sesshomaru licked his lips once finished drinking, walking back to the cottage with the smuggest sneer Kagome had ever seen. He had paid extra close to Miroku's details today, successfully sending the woman's' body to betray herself. 'Ahhgggg!' Kagome shivered all over, only able to hug herself for the fleeting warmth sucked from her form. 'I didn't even fight that. He just took and I gave in. I need... a drink. Yes, Sesshomaru is driving me to drinking.'

Placing a finger to her tingling nose, the feel nearly sent her to burst into giggles by that softness, the brush of a lovers lips gracing her beat fire engulfed face. Was he just repaying what she had given on the road, or tormenting to prove his manliness? What did Kagome care, he did that masterfully, forcing a guilty knot to tighten in her chest at the lacking experience she defiantly had. That man seemed to work magic, spinning it around anyone that happened to get a spitting distance close to him.

The thunder pounded in the distance, but not like her heart. Kagome placed a finger to the tip he had crushed his lips against, snuggling up in her inner mind at the heavenly moment. He made the earth shake from underneath her feet, or did he just shake HER until the world felt like it fell through, sending the female to fly without need of wings? 'Leave it to a demon to steal my breath away.'

Another splash of rain sank into her dark raven hair, shimmering it into a soft halo once the drops came tumbling down in sheets. How she wished Sesshomaru hadn't stopped. That perhaps he would come back and take the rest of the moisture from her trembling body like before. "No, bad Kagome. You don't want him. You don't!" 'Yes I do.' growling, her shirt was becoming transparent, leaving the black bra to seep through for any that happened to look.

Yelping at the realization, Kagome covered herself best she could, squealing at the humiliation she was bound to experience for this. Kagome reached to pull her drooping strap back over her shoulder when the entire under garment slinked forward........ Like it had been undone. Throwing her hands to feel around, the woman roared at the sneaky little bastard and his hands. "YOU ASS HOLE!!"

He had snapped her bra, just like rehearsed in the bedroom, leaving the human to struggle getting the blasted thing back on. 'No wonder he looked so freakin happy. I.. am going... to KILL him!' sprinting to the cottage in sloshing strides, Kagome fell many times, smearing mud and grass stain's all over her bruised bottom and knee's. After plummeting in what felt like every puddle, and becoming a full-fledged muck mummy, she finally skidded to a halt near the cottage, spotting the five kids standing motionless outside one of one in particular window.

"What the heck are you guys doing? Don't you know it's raining out here?" she planted both mud caked hands firmly on her hips, scowling at their ignorance of the weather. 'Are they just wanting to get sick?' Kohaku was the first to turn towards his aunt Kagome, a ghostly expression smothering his pale face. He almost appeared vegied out, in a complete trance seen only on the undead. "Kagome," he began, followed by the other kids holding the exact same appearance. It was frightening, to say the least, at the zombied out state they were in. hastily backing away, she went to do the cross sign near her chest, a thick sweat droplet slinked down the side of her face.

"I'm never having sex." Kohaku finished, leading the other kids to cover their ears at the sick disturbing news they had just eased dropped onto. Niko squealed like the very memory burned her warped brain cells, running off into the house to find her mommy. "No sex for me, no sex for me." Niko yelped, over and over again.

"Oh my God, don't tell me you all stood out here listening to you're dad rant? He exaggerates everything." the middle boy nodded, whimpering sadly to himself. "It was horrible, so horrible. The images, I can't get them out of my head."

"Unclean. Unclean."

"The screams, I can't get those screams out of my mind. They lied. They weren't wresteling at all, dad was boinking mom."

"We must make sure they don't have anymore sex. Quickly, let's cut Miroku's crotch off." Kohaku suggested, rushing into the house to locate his sister's sword. Kagome was gulped, crossing her legs glad she wasn't a guy. She was ready to run after the fleet footed, and sadly mislead children, but Kagome quickly pulled her hand up to her smile instead, trying to mask the growing smile. 'This is a family matter. Let Miroku work this out on his own...... when he gets out of that coma.' she snickered, tickled and giddy when she heard the monk's groggy voice lifting through many layers of sleep. "What are you kids doing?" it didn't take long before he figured it out, probably from all the sharp pointy objects directed towards his genitals.

"No, get away! My manliness!!!! SANGO!!!!!!!"

Kagome shook her head, throwing drops that clung to her hair every which way imaginable. She hated being wet, and soaked to the bone was also a thing she could do without. Flinging the heavy wet bundle over her shoulders, Kagome thus walked into the house, eyeing the awaiting Sesshomaru in heated fury.

He sat in the kitchen chair, listening to the struggle in the room his 'big brother' had passed out in. "like I said before," the demon sipped some tea, calm and collected as always, "rain will ruin you're dignity." his eye's had been planted souly on her chest, his sorcerers lips twisted into the all too familiar smirk that clung devilishly to him. but that sneer quickly fell, or cracked in half, when Kagome threw the closest thing she could lay her fingers on.......... a running screaming for his most valuable part's Miroku.

Never mess with an angry female, no matter how deluded you are about winning. The monk and taiyoukai can tell you that as Sesshomaru twitched from underneath his male friend. She had spilt a good cup of tea, and ruffled his perfect hair day into a dripping mess, 'the war, wench, is on.'


	10. It thickens

Vixon: here we go again, more reviews. I's got to have me reviews they keep me living, I breath for writing. (wipes sweat away) okay, enough drama, lets get on with the story.

And thank you Sakura Tenvaiga, I have no clue what ja ne means, though I hope it's not bad, but I'm glad you love this story so much. (eyes sakura dangerously) it better not be anything bad or i…. (withdraws a very big knife) will be forced to be very mean. MUWAHAHAHAHA!

On the side note, no bad joke intended for this chapters name. You sicko's.

**Ch10 _"it thickens"_**

The day carried onward, with the rain coming to an ease of drizzle and the darkness soon to creep into play. Kagome waved good-bye to her beloved friends, while Sesshomaru had patted Niko's head and allowed Sessh to say his farewells. The light mist clung to Kagome's clothes, fogging the path for home.

"That was a great day, don't you think" Kagome watched his reaction out of the corner of her eye, knowing good and well he was grumbling inwardly by the question. "And you got to learn all kind's of neat stuff that I'm sure you'll put to good use." Her giggle's caused the taiyoukai to glare down at her form, his fangs jutting out just enough to intimidate any creature. "Perhaps." Sesshomaru mumbled, acidicly eyeing Kagome's smile.

She glanced up then, feeling his pressing stare fall upon her like usual when she had teased too much. "Oh Fluffy"

"My name is not Fluffy."

Again she giggled, covering her smile this time when his expression told her to keep her wits about the subject. Lightly slapping his arm, she thus placed a finger to her face, waving at his childishness over a harmless nickname"Be glad it's not something like Dog Face, or Mutt Head. Fluffy is a cute name for you. It just roll's off the tongue and sticks with you."

Sesshmaru growled at the said names, snapping his focus strait ahead with blind determination"It is ridiculous."

"Well are you, or are you not, fluffy" She planted both hands on her hips, pure womanly wickedness lacing her voice.

"Do not call me that again, regardless if it is true." And still Kagome pressed her luck, looping her arm around his as they continued down the muddy path. Kagome held the expression of a tricky wood sprite, hugging his appendage while the hairs on the back of Sesshomaru's tail stood on end at her touch.

"And what's wrong with you having a kawaii pet name? I think it suits you, fit's like a glove." Kagome gave an affectionate nuzzle into his loose sleeve"Sesshomaru, you're so fluffy." Instantly lashing upon her stupidity, the demon lord snatched his arm away, pushing the woman aside with ruthless force. Kagome stumbled before falling flat on her butt, a grimace entwined with her winded and mortified expression. She didn't have any time to quiz his sudden mood swing, only able to regretfully glimpse at the creature standing before her, baring down on the vulnerable position she found herself situated in.

The taiyoukai had his upper lip curled back, his brows furrowed so deeply towards her harmless playing. And his eyes... They were so evil, so red and hateful that she felt lost to the crimson storm raging inside of his aristocratic form. "NEVER call me that. Ever"

Kagome straitened her back, buttoning her lip and lowered her head subordinately, still keeping his unpredictableness in clear sight. She never meant to push him this far, enough so he had to show his anger just to avoid a simple affectionate name-calling. After several seconds had elapsed, Sesshomaru eased his aggressive appearance, pulling the stoic mask back over all that lay inside and turned to head back to the cottage with or without his companion.

Standing, after he was a good distance away, Kagome followed in step, fearful he would spin around and finish what she had unmistakably read in his saturated eyes. Nibbling her bottom lip, she thus brought her hazy orbs up to meet his perfect posture, disappointed in herself for disrupting what could have been a joyful experience home. Diverting her gaze once his progress ceased, the woman stayed steady, fiddling with her hands as the demon lifted his sights to the never-ending grayness above.

Sesshomaru waited for her to catch up, though never admitting this if one would ask his reasons. "I didn't mean to piss you off you know." Kagome glanced up to his trained features, unable to make out what exactly he was thinking. Did she really want to know the creature known as Sesshomaru? Her voice trembled just ever so slightly, only enough to perk his pointy ears at the silence broken for his sake.

He kept to himself, as usual, quiet and calm, defiantly thinking long and hard before responding. 'I wish Sessh would come out and smooth things over.' Kagome found herself longing for the carefree imp, the laughing, jubilant Sessh that found everyone and everything a timeless treasure. But he didn't come forth from the inner curtains, never attempted to push through and find his concerned friend. He, like Kagome, was very fearful of the one he sadly shared a body with, especially when the storm clouds swirled dangerously around their shared mind and sky above.

"So you really don't like that name, do you" He didn't need to answer; the twitch in his lip was proof enough. Sighing softly, she thus placed a damp strand of hair behind her ear, fiddling with her dress just to keep her nerves steady and her attention busy. "It is not that I despise it." He spoke so light, in a whisper that tinkled like a small bell into her burning ears, seeming to be left unheard at first thought. Parting his mouth slowly again, the demon dipped his chin downward, framing a strange new look onto his once emotionless facade.

He lowered his brows; cursing for speaking his mind without considering the explanation he was sure to be entitled too. Kagome's curious stare told him all he needed to know, causing the taiyoukai to choke on his breath at the burn those sapphire gems sparked. "I was once referred as that, but it is past. It's not important."

"Did you're mom used to call you that" Kagome remembered the sadness he held for the mysterious lady, the respect he never needed to utter even though it shone brighter than his rare smiles. Shaking his head in denial, Sesshomaru shrugged that off, lowering his lids further till a drowsy appearance settled onto him. "No. She called me much fonder name's than just 'Fluffy'." A tiny tug on the corners of his lips possessed his face there for a minute, igniting a lost memory Kagome awaited impatiently to understand.

Sesshomaru quickly glanced over at the human woman, clearing his throat and disposing the sweetness brewing within. She needn't hear these secrets, or else they would be used against him later. "Your mom sounds really nice."

"She was. Hence why I am not."

Kagome didn't understand, thinking that most children took after their parents in almost every aspect. "I take it she was too nice."

"No shit Sherlock." It appeared she had struck a nerve there, leaving Kagome to debate whether or not to pursue the discussion, even though she knew he was sharing more than he usually found comfortable. Slowing her walking, just incase he went to swipe at her for this, she readied herself for one of his temper fits"You hate her for showing emotion, and don't want to follow in her footsteps because of something she did to you. What did she do to traumatize you so bad"

Sesshomaru halted in mid-step, clenching and unclenching his fists angrily. 'Oh crap, knew I went too far. Say your prayers Kag cuz you gonna die!' She could have sworn she saw steam leaking from his ears, boiling his body at the memory she had resurfaced after all these years. Kagome held up both arms to shield her face, stiff and ready to fall over and play possum if he attacked.

But instead of killing her, like Kagome had expected, he just snarled between clenched incisors, resuming his walk down the muddy road"She died." He had spat that behind himself, temporarily relieving Kagome of her fears of ultimate death. Kagome wiped the little beads of sweat from her brow, coming up next to him after his steam vanished into the chilly air.

She had never expected him to admit that, but he reluctantly had, and the hurt inside ate away until the taiyoukai blinked repeatedly to hide the tears. Kagome rubbed his arm, stroking her fingers down the shirtsleeve until she found his balled fist. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault." She kept her hand still, feeling the knuckles grind against his stretched skin. The shake of his arm, and the pounding of his pulse, told Kagome all she needed to know about his true emotions towards this subject.

He was not placid inside, nor cold to the touch like most would assume. It pained him to speak of such travesties, or even remember them, perhapes being the demon's true weakness he denied possessing. 'Maybe this is why you try so hard to be lifeless. You're wanting to forget, to create an ice castle around your heart to hide in, refusing to get attached to something only to lose it like before.'

Sesshomaru attempted to reclaim his hand, but the strength was no longer in him. The revulsion was no longer directed towards anything but his own self, inflicting further despisal upon things that could have been in a time that seemed almost golden in Sesshomaru's eyes. Her heart was loving, understanding, even now, with utmost compassion towards this miserable monster, 'But ice can always melt, to break for spring. A new beginning.'

Gulping the settled bile in his throat, Sesshomaru lowered his shoulders towards such fond delusions, relaxing his tremors until both people's fingers fell loose into the others. Unlike any who had ever crawled too close for his liking, Kagome never even hesitated to lace her fingers with his, beaming reassuringly towards his allowance of compassion. "You still love your mother, and that's all a parent can ever ask of their kids. I'm sure you're mom would want you to be happy, no matter what."

His molten pools settled on that thought, lying onto this human angel's face just to feel the warmth behind it; to know he was no longer bearing this emotion alone. What did it feel like to be cared for again? It had been so long since anyone had ever given him a second glance, to question what lay beneath the silent skin. Parting his lips to answer, the demon clipped the response before he uttered a syllable, clamping his teeth firmly onto his wobbly tongue.

The things he wished to speak, things no one had ever known, were hushed by his pride and prejudice, stashed away to the secret place until forgotten... or lost. She didn't need his truths, she would never want to know the monster under the false face, the same predator that loamed and stalked all that blindly stumbled into his life.

"I suppose." He answered distantly.

Pinching his brows, Sesshomaru squeezed her hand gently, sucking in a neglected breath. Refusing her knowledge was neither good nor bad, for he hadn't really decided whom it would harm more once unleashed. 'At least... ' The mighty taiyoukai began, the echo settling across the infinity of his floating conscience, 'I felt happiness... For only a few days with you.'

If there was one thing he appreciated in life right now, it was Kagome's misplaced love and the smell of new. He felt obligated to thank the purity the rain brought with it when it washed away disruptive things from sight and smell, like he wished to befall his life. So much grime had collected over the course of decaying years, leaving the taiyoukai to envy nature in a strange way. Mother earth could always heal itself if some calamity obstructed its natural process, unlike his stained soul. Nothing could cleanse that.

'She won't get mad if you tell her the truth. Kagome love's me, and you, so don't be afraid.' Little Sessh reasoned, able to pick bits and pieces of Sesshomaru's hidden skeletons.

'No. I can't have her... She'll never understand, never know the severity of my deeds.'

'But she's our friend, and you lo-' Sesshomaru's inner self stared the child down, daring him to finish that statement. Sessh shrugged the glare aside, turning his drifting attention back towards Kagome's smile.

The adult followed his other's focus, closing his eyes to hide something dark from Sessh's attention, ''She will never feel anything for me other than pure affection. I am only a distant mystery. Bound forever to lose her.'

The child shook his head in protest but never raised a single word. There was no arguing with Sesshomaru, you would have better luck fighting verbally with a wall than getting anything through to that guy. His mind was made up over the matter, though the kid strongly disagreed. Kagome did feel something for the adult, different then what she held for Sessh. The child knew this, felt it whenever the switch of body controlling was done. Why wouldn't Sesshomaru admit his emotions and see hers blossom? Was it really so wrong to love someone for him?

'But,' Sessh began, after much walking had ensued, 'do you at least love her?'

The adult never answered, shutting his body's eyes as he strode hand in hand with his lady friend. Secretly, in his deepest, darkest volts, buried inside his mind, the taiyoukai nodded, with the memory of himself grasping his chest in the rejection. The howled echo of his past voice shriveled and died with the sweeping veil of his dark mood, huddling itself tighter to his inner shadows, never wanting to be found or felt again. The word he had screamed well into the night on the last day he had ever felt alive, the one that haunted his nightmares as he shredded every emotion until only the hollow mask prevailed, sang of a sad past Sesshomaru constantly tried to flee from"KAGOMEEEEEE"

(If that made absolutely no sense at all, don't worry, it explains itself after you read a little more into the chapter and then the next has a reeeeeeeeeally long flash back that your sure to love. And by then, your just like 'oh, now I get it. The memory of why he screamed her name, yeah. That make's sense now'. Chaaa! )

……………………

The shadows danced upon the old, slime infested walls of a distant castle. Only small torchlights pricked through the covering of darkness, hardly giving those few that dwelt in it an ample opportunity to freely observe their surroundings. This was not a welcoming place, with thick clouds of purple miasma engulfing the atmosphere, choking the life slowly from the living. It was hell on earth, a place for the dead or dieing to drown themselves in.

Koga fumbled around with his leather sheath, grazing his unsteady palm over the hilt of his only knife, his only friend in this twisted purgatory. He never was fond of feeling helpless; to have the impression of a small useless child in the wake of something far more twisted than his phantom nightmares. Yet here he stood, alone and virtually naked in the blinding confinements of the castle, his stomach churning from the smells of decay stabbing his lungs with each unhealthy intake of the purplish air.

A voice, that inner self of survival, was unsuccessfully trying to conquer his stiff body. Instincts kicked into over drive, pumping his adrenalin throughout the spider web of violet veins. The wild primalness screeched of danger, of promised death if he insisted to ignore his senses and continue to gamble blindly into the devils hands. Sweeping around to overlook his unseen surroundings, the wolf demon growled deep in his chest at his inability to pierce sight through the lingering dark. Never had his vision failed him, not even on moonless nights like at this moment, fogged by blackness darker than his own selfish heart.

"You seem distraught." Came a splintering voice, splitting his ears by the grind held behind its thunder. Koga spun around in all directions, blade snatched and ready to impose a bloody death to the unseen creeper. It was a false surety to hold that weapon in his sweaty clutch, one that would prove useless in the lair of a true monster. "Wha 'dya mean distraught! I'm PISSED, get it right"

A glint crept forth from the ebony nothingness, the eternal appearance of a black void disrupted for one faint image to become visible. The unseen one chuckled a poison that forced even the wolf clan's leader to shutter, but this did not persuade Koga in the least from his rooted spot. Set into a fighting pose, the demon's face paled upon finding the owner of such a tainted laugh. Stumbling back, he nearly lost the only knife he possessed, with the humor of his associate peaking.

"I take it you're unsatisfied with the results"

"Why the hell would I be happy! What the fuck kinda game are you playing"

The hidden manipulator clucked his tongue in a scolding fashion, wagging a finger at the uprising tone in the wolf's words"Did you honestly think things would work out exactly as you would have planned"

Koga gulped towards the obvious, lowering his knife as he batted that question around. He was left to only listen to the purred response, the true master displaying an eerie glow from his soulless eyes. Those artic, granite pupils ripped into his meagerness"Manipulating live's take's many threads, leading to false hopes, entwined strings, that once severed, can cause not only the puppet to plummet... but shatter. You want to take pride in the destruction, but YOU lack the time or skill from your impatience. Destroying them takes a little more than a meager lust and a bastard's blade. You must be patient or else the woven strands become loose, and ultimately, unravel before your eyes, regardless of all the effort **I **placed within each thread."

"But he wasn't supposed to survive." Koga growled between clenched incisors, shoulders hunched with rage.

Again, the other laughed at his minion's aggression"Killing one such as he is never an easy task. Do you not remember the energy I had to place just to destroy his brother"

"You promised Kagome to me if I"

"And thus she is yours." The master broke in, a hint of agitation disrupting his once devilish charm. "The only question that remains for us to decide is how exactly do you propose we rekindle Sesshomaru's hatred for her"

Koga chewed his lip, taking half a step forward in astonishment"He... he wont hurt her, will he" The unrelenting concern ate away at the love sick demon's words, drawing out further delight from his master. "What else would you think a great demon would do to his enemy's, invite her for tea? No, I will make sure that Sesshomaru never harms your precious Kagome. I doubt he would even have it in him once I am through." Cracking a half grin, the wolf demon sighed relief, sparking his curiosity now that the threat was diminished to nothing.

"Then what do you wish for me to do"

That's when the silence sliced into the thickness enveloping the two, leering bouts the area until a quant giggle lifted past the dark one's pale lips. "You, my canine accomplish, will escort our little friend." Red eyes flickered from the depths of the shadows, crossing the distance until resting upon Koga's shivering form, burring its unblinking, lifeless attention directly upon the delivery boy. The crimson sizzled away, sparking and burning into a golden spiral that fell into a cold ember glow.

Koga immediately recalled his steps; back tracking to the doors he had passed just to enter this morbid chamber. "W-what the hell is that THING" The smell permitting from the shrouded figure was that of a familiar scent, yet rotting from the inside like a carved pumpkin shell.

"This" the master began, sensing the distress devouring Koga's confidence"is an old friend... That is just dieing to return home."

……………….

The light drizzle grew thicker, crashing down from the heavens to fall soothingly on Kagome's red tiled roof. She hummed softly to herself, going about her tasks in daily routine set years ago. Brooding on the floor, with what appeared a tiny pout surfacing onto his normally lifeless face, Sesshomaru picked at his clothing in disgust, flaring his nostrils at the stink emitting from the fabric.

It wasn't that HE smelled, not even the sweating and wrestling with the children made an offending odor, it was the stench of the previous owner that wafted into his nostrils, dampening his mood. 'The idget could at least use some deodorant for once in his life. Lord, he smell's like an outhouse.' According to a demon's nose.

Kagome finally came up beside him, bopping his head with the brooms handle"You just gonna sit there and sniff yourself or are you gonna help me clean" He looked up, fehing her sarcasm. "I find myself above such tedious task's."

"Your going to find a broom stick shoved up your ass if you don't get off your high horse and sweep."

"I would like to see you try that trick."

"Your not only going to see it if you don't get it in gear. Ka-pesh" He growled deeply at her idol threats, coughing at the invading smell of his clothes. "You know, it won't kill you to wash your own clothes." Kagome suggested, crossing her arms with a triumphant smirk. Snatching the broom from her grasp, Sesshomaru stuck his nose in the air like the pampered pain he was. "I would like MY clothes washed by the time I am finished with the sweeping." It was a barked order that didn't go ignored.

Kagome hunched her shoulders at his snotty attitude, growling towards his lack of manners. "Is there a please somewhere in there"

"Insert one yourself." Throwing her hands in the air, she eventually just growled and stomped towards the bedroom his soiled attire was stored. There was just slack from him, Sesshomaru wouldn't even cut out the crap long enough for her to keep a victory notch on her imaginary score board. "Yes your 'majesty'." Hissing his perfect nickname, Kag just focused all her energy on the nearly forgotten articles of clothes, pulling the white pants up for close inspection. 'Tares... mend able. Blood stains... Washable. Grass stains... Impossible to get out.'

Draping the pants over her arm, she thus lifted the armor from the shirt, willing to toss it aside for the time being. Her fingers felt the smooth coldness of the spikes, the lifeless texture, chilling her touch when the peeling shreds of dried blood scratched off under her nails. It nearly gagged her, the loose memory of his damaged body the first day she found his limp form was enough to sicken any professional. It was a miracle he survived, even for a demon. He was like indestructible-man or super-man, carrying a familiar trait to her one and only hero, Inuyasha. 'But that just proves what a fool I was. Inuyasha is... He was like everyone else. A mortal... regardless of the promises he made.'

Bowing her head at the memories, Kagome huffed in an unsteady breath, not wanting to allow Sesshomaru the opportunity to berate her further from her weakness. 'Damnit! I'm so sorry I can't be uncaring like YOU Sesshomaru! I had a life, a good life with someone I loved. And you... ' A painful jab burst forth in her chest, along with a splash of one tear descending her cheek, 'you did too. Who am I to judge you?'

Kagome batted the fallen trickle of misery away, wanting to leave nothing for his mighty nose to detect once she walked out with his bundle of clothing. "I won't cry. I wont." She whispered, commanding herself this to make things perfectly clear. Ready to slap his armor away, she froze in place when something purplish fell from her grasp, crashing to the floor.

The thing was only one tiny oval, having once been tangled around the jutting spikes from a single strand, identical to the other beads still wound almost undetected on the metal. A gasp froze her functions, stopping her heart once realizing what exactly this was. With eyes growing wider, Kagome slowly brought the armor up, studying the broken necklace bound around the steel. "No..."

Her lip quivered, spiraling the woman into a blind hypnotic daze. It was like she was in-between sleep and wake, caught within a nightmare that leapt from one extreme to another, clashing into scenes even more complex than the last. The color leaked away from her face, leaving only a ghostly elegance to bleach her flesh. Noiselessly gliding down the hall, she came up behind the man set enthusiastically on brushing one dirt pile to the next. He hadn't even acknowledged her presence, humming to himself as he used his tail to lift the rug and hide the last of the dust out of sight.

"You." Kagome began, emotion depleted from the cold numbness she felt. Her voice instantly snapped his attention directly on her, forcing the taiyoukai to spin around wide-eyed at being caught. "K-Kagome! You... I... It was all Sesshomaru's fault. He made me sweep and told me to put the evidence under the rug. I was over powered and out numbered, I swear."

Her face didn't change, glaring daggers into his stiff features. "I want to speak with Sesshomaru. Now." Gulping, the demon rolled his eyes as in thought; listening to a voice only he could hear. "He... he says he doesn't want to"

"I SAID NOW" The outburst sent little Sessh to flinch away, closing his eyes to hide from her rage. He wasn't going to get on her bad side for something his other self did, or forced him to do, it took only a few moments for the adult to finally take control, removing the frightful expression the child had left behind. "What do you want"

Grinding down on her lower lip, Kagome held out the armor, hands shaking and face contorted into a phase between blind loathsome and shocked confusion. "Explain this." Sesshomaru observed the armor with a dismissive glance, corking an eyebrow curiously"My accessory. What of it" Flipping it over, the human exposed the necklace with prayer beads and fangs entwined around the cool steel"Where did you get these" Kagome hissed from clenched teeth, ready to rip his throat out if even a slight indication of a lie escaped his straitened lips.

The taiyoukai allowed his lids to slump sadly, then had them cascade until she no longer saw the emotion inside his eyes. Sesshomaru turned his head away, clutching the broom handle in a straining hold"The war."

"Where in the war"

The wooden handle crumbled, leaving the demon to groan inwardly towards her pressing ignorance. "You don't want to know. Don't push this, Kagome, please... " He tried, Sesshomaru tried to shield her, protect her from the ugliness of himself, of his darkening past and piling regrets. Kagome stomped her foot, clutching the beads until tiny trickles of blood trailed down her tender palm"Tell me everything right now! I deserve to know... to know if you... If you had anything to do with Inuyasha's death." The accusation sent him to withdrawal from her, trying to take a step away from the over whelm of salt plundering the air about her frail body.

"I don't want to upset you."

"STOP IT" Kagome flung his armor at his feet, having the sound clang on the hard wood with a deafening echo. "Just tell me the truth. All of it." She drooped her head, bangs hiding all the turmoil battling inside. The shutter of her heart was bound to cause an earthquake within, to destroy the tiny strand of sanity she called her own if he didn't answer... Or speak the ultimate hideous reality growing even more believable.

Bringing his shimmering pools up to her face, a glimmering glaze was cast over his distant eyes, pinching his brows sorrowfully for his betrayal to her"I'm so sorry."


	11. Confrontation

Vixon: FINALLY! I finally got this chapter up. It was driving me freakin crazy to get it up but let the people rejoice cus this baby is now updated. I've only got to proof read and spell check the next chapter, which I know all of you are going to love, but this one consists of Inuyasha arriving and such. The next is about Sesshomaru's past; so don't wet yourself just yet…. You'll get to know the truth, which is what this story is all about, soon enough.

So send those reviews and let me know what you think. Smile baby!

**Ch11 _"Confrontation"_**

"You bastard."

The only words Kagome was capable of conjuring at the moment, her dispisle exploding at the apology that had to be for none other than the one reason she dreaded. 'You killed him. YOU KILLED HIM!' She swapped her hands at his chest repeatedly, trying to claw his heart out, to reopen the vanished wound only a few days ago and cause him to suffer like she. Why? Why did she have to save his worthless ass? He was a monster, a shameless wretch that ripped her beloved away only to toy with her.

He was the cruelest creature in her eyes, the lowest ever to fall upon her hatred. "I hate you! I hate you, I hate you!" Kagome smashed another fist into his chest, but none of her blows held the effects she wished, none of them caused him any physical pain. To him, she was like a meek child trying to vanquish a mountainous giant.

And for her, Sesshomaru took each hit willingly, gnawing his inner cheek to remain placid towards the blows, but couldn't hold down the grimace possessing his eyes. He wanted her to release this pint up fury, to forgive his secret sins, though every crash of her futile attacks shattered another piece of his shuddering heart. He hated to see Kagome so distraught, to have the only person to give him hope and mercy to grow in dispisle for the hideous beast he was. To reject him like so many others.

After her attacks began to lesson, and Kagome's poisoned wails collapsed into violent sobs, the taiyoukai wrapped his arms around her frame, securing the woman to himself so she didn't completely fall to the hard floor. Kagome's legs were giving out, her trust demolished to leave only the scrap of what was once her little inner paradise, her will to live. Why had she been so blind? How could she not have sensed evil in her house or a familiar faceless murderer walking about her life?

Pushing away, with little accomplished, Kagome snarled at the one propping her up, "Get you're bloody hands off of me." The spat only brought his arms to clamp tighter, holding her to his chest.

"I said-" She never had a chance to argue with his authority, leaving Kagome breathless when he buried his face into the crook of her shoulder. "I didn't. I swear." 'You're lying! That's all you have ever told me was lies!'

Whimpering, the demon nuzzled into her sheltering aura, "Believe in me Kagome."

"Let me go." She went to struggle again in his grasp, but he was locked onto her. He wouldn't relinquish his Kagome for anything in the world. Not again.

"No, never. I can't... Not like before." What in the good lords name was he talking about? Snapping her puffy gaze on his worthless hide, Kagome growled like an animal towards his fake calmness. "You lied to me."

The taiyoukai batted his lids, flickering from one personality to the other like a coin spinning on the ground in indecision. "No... I never... I could never lie to you." The voices shifted from child to adult in a jumbled sentence, leaving the woman to question to whom it was apologizing.

"You did! I thought... I just... why did you do it? Why did you have to take him away from me!" She shook so violently, her strength diminishing, the answers she longed for running rampant in her clogged mind until all she felt like doing was screaming. Sesshomaru pulled her back against his strength; stroking her hair with the careful caress a parent went to sooth their child. "Shhh." He whispered, molding her body with his, biding back the lift of his sorrow.

He couldn't tell, he mustn't tell. She would only hate him more for knowing, he would lose all he had ever wished because of his blind ambitions. "I didn't lie, I just never told you. But perhaps that is the same." "Why did you keep this from me?" Sesshomaru purred a loving melody into her ear, the vibration spread from his throat until all her focus fell onto him. It was the calming voice, the magic in his inaudible words that snatched away her train of thought.

'Tell her. Tell her.' Little Sessh beckoned from the depths, yet the adult still fought it down. "Kagome..."

'Tell her! Tell her! Damn it Sesshomaru, just tell her!'

Distracting her further was what placed a growing divider between them. He had to do this, she trusted and became burned from his illusiveness so now was the time. Now, he would let her know WHO he was and leave the decisions up to her instead of his selfish self. All this, she deserved. Because... he loved her.

Placing both his trembling hands onto Kagome's cheeks, Sesshomaru lifted her face up to meet his. All the years of depravity choked the last of his emotionless facade until all he felt was her tremor. Starring deep into those crystalline eyes, the proud demon parted his lips to speak, the dryness viciously assaulting his tongue, "I'm-"

The banging of the door jerked both attentions away from each other, breaking the moment, and the sobs, for a brief interruption. Dashing the salty tears away, the woman raced to dismiss the one who intruded on her pilgrimage for truth. Sesshomaru had been ready to tell her, after long last, and now she had some jackass beating her door down to disrupt the admittance. Grumbling under her breath, Kagome creaked the door open with a light scowl drawing across her features, "May I help...?"

Her sentence was never finished, cut off when sights fell upon the one heavily leaning against the doorframe. Sesshomaru perked his ear at the gasp, extending his claws incase it was that bastard Koga coming for another beating. But his worries only heightened once the wind invaded his nostrils; flaring his attack response ten folds at the rotten corpse sneering back from behind it's bangs. That tainted face, with that tainted body, swayed into Kagome's outstretched arms.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome held onto him for dear life, embracing her loved one openly, keeping him from collapsing face first onto the floor. He stumbled with a weakened breath, then passed out like the lights just flickered and became snuffed from behind those cold soulless eyes. Koga, who had Inuyasha's arm around his neck, fell with the dead weight, also colliding into the only person in front of them.

"Oh my God oh my God oh my God." Kagome kept repeating to herself, knee's buckling under stress as Sesshomaru darted towards the struggling group. "Don't touch him!" Sesshomaru flung the unconscious Inuyasha from her eager grasp, tossing Koga aside along with what ever that abomination was out the door.

The woman shrieked once Inuyasha's body made a sickening thud onto the ground, reaching out for her shinning hero unconscious in the garden they had built together. "Inuyasha! Sesshomaru, what are you doing!"

The taiyoukai spun his head around to meet her intense shrills, red lining his white sockets, "That is NOT Inuyasha."

"Of course it is. Look at him! I know my fiancée when I see him you idiot." She went to step around the towering demon, but he moved in her way, blocking her from even seeing the creature lying on the ground beyond. "Get out of my way!" She pushed and shoved, struggled and kicked, yet still Sesshomaru refused to budge.

Koga scrambled up from his sprawled position, pushing the squishing weight aside to pant from the throw he had just been given, "Man, that dog face got some serious doubt issues." The wolf tried to locate Kagome from behind her fierce protector, smirking wildly at the concerned expression mounting her face. "Yeah, you don't have to thank me babe. I just risked my neck to bring back his body for ya, and, low and behold, the ass hole was still kickin."

A strained sob came from behind Sesshomaru, Kagome held one hand to her mouth as a somewhat relieved smile flew onto her lips. "T-thank you Koga. Thank you."

Sesshomaru snarled soundly to himself, hunching his shoulders in a readiness to attack that smirking traitor. What was he scheming about with that abomination! Who did he think he was fooling when he brought that rotting sack of meat to Kagome's door? Was she really so blown over that she couldn't sense the lack of aura on the body? Sesshomaru knew humans never possessed a remarkable nose, but just gazing at the body sent chills to course through his stiffened body.

The wolf clan leader swallowed hard, trying to command his body to stay cool, to get a grasp of himself before he blundered things up again. The best option left was to retreat, and Koga gladly obeyed his instincts this time.

Turning away from those murderous molten eyes, Koga snorted distasfully into the air, unable to dodge that hated fire storm glare, "Well... I guess I'll be outta here, since, you know, shit to do." His stutters nearly gave his unsurity away.

So with a cloud of dust, the cowardly wolf disappeared into the flourishing dusk. Now, with the ample distraction, Kagome made a mad dash towards the sleeping body. She was slightly startled when Sesshomaru clamped her wrist, pulling her back in mid stride. He shook his head slowly in refusal but she ignored his silently opinionated advice. Unshackling his fingers from around her arm, she refused to see the concern eating away in his eyes. He was a barrier, an obstacle trying to hinder her from reaching the one she loved.

Racing the remaining way, she fell onto her collapsing knees, kneeling over Inuyasha's still form. "Inuyasha..?" Kagome's voice seemed lost, small compared to its usual gentle confidence. She reached out to the one she had once lost, trying to call him back to her from the nether regions of his sleep. Stroking his bangs, the human woman began to over flow with joyous tears, jubilation erupting inside for Inuyasha's return.

"I've missed you so much. You came back, just like you promised." Sobbing seemed to be the only thing capable at the moment, even if it wasn't the most logical. After several seconds, she finally came to grip with herself, placing his arm around her neck as she thus began to lift his motionless body from the ground, attempting to drag the half demon towards her cottage door.

In all the chaos circling abouts the garden, in all the pandemonium playing before Sesshomaru's sights, he failed to call upon the strength to move. The upset in his chest churned brutally, tossing the cold stone around in his gullet and knotting his stomach with an intensity of the worst imaginable pain. The twisting of his shrinking heart caused the taiyoukai to slump just slightly from the misery he felt of bursting his hopes, slicing a knife down the stitches he had began to weave on his broken heart. All that he thought he had claimed slipped out of reach and into the possession of the same one that had stolen it last time. Were they never really his to begin with?

Sesshomar turned away from Kagome's struggle, wanting to rip open his chest to relieve the building tension coiling inside. He didn't want to see the love in her eyes for another, to feel the glow she radiated because of another man's presence. If he couldn't hold her favor, than he never wished to see it passed onto another. It would be the same torture all over again, one he had no choice but to endure or ignore.

Screwing his focus on the sakura tree, the taiyoukai was pushed aside, tossed into the darkness like the trash he was.

Kagome easily sat Inuyasha on her bed, disposing of his stained and tattered clothes to locate any lacerations on his fragile body. The only one she could pin point was one large gapping hole on his backside, gushing with deep crimson whenever he was slightly jarred.

"Sesshomaru, get me the yellow jar from the medicine cabinet. And some bandages." She scurried to retrieve a bowl of fresh water and linen as she barked the order, placing every ounce of urgency in it. Hesitating outside, Sesshomaru clenched both hands together, drawing his own blood from the claws he himself bore into his calloused palms. He stood his ground only long enough to remove the hurt expression, the rejection he should have been preparing himself for from the beginning.

'I am not fooled. I am not blind to you.' Sesshomaru growled inwardly, focusing all the rage onto the one that caused him so much grief. It was frightening to the smaller, meeker self, especially when the dark red clouds turned into a wrath Sessh never wished to be on the wrong end of.

'W-what is he than?' Sessh slowly backed away from the steaming other, holding his nose by the decaying stench filling the house. Glaring heatedly, the adult never broke his eye contact from the medicine Kagome had requested. 'He is not my brother, THAT is for certain.'

………………………

The night waned, but Inuyasha's fever refused to break. Or at least, it continuously returned once Kagome strayed from his side, or when Sesshomaru entered the room. It was a strange sickness drugging him indeed. So instead of causing Kagome to fret endlessly to lower his temperature, Sesshomaru left her to her work, sitting on top the roof to stare off into the horizon. He sniffed the wind occasionally, tasting it for any indication of negative atmospheres. It was better to be safe than sorry, but the threats were either too far to bother with or directly below him. An uncomforting feeling to an already wary demon.

'She is an idget to believe. Why does she refuse to see it? What ever made him so God damn special!' (I apologize for his foul mouth. Sesshomaru will be severely spanked for that comment.) The sound of Kagome's voice brought his attention to the window he sat above, her melodious coo's woven specifically for Inuyasha's bastard ears. The words were almost whispered beyond Sesshomaru's comprehension, but if he strained, he could just barely pick out the gentle conversation.

"I thought you were gone forever. They kept telling me you had died, but deep down, I didn't believe a word of it. I knew you'd come back, you promised you would. You promised you would always come back to me."

Sesshomaru sat in reproach, tossing the new bits of information around his swaying mind. This was another memory he'd be wise to burry, another wound to forget. Closing his lids solemnly, the taiyoukai slumped his shoulders at Kagome's misplaced sobs, balancing his head in one hand. 'Like the fool I am, I fell into the same trap. Why, Kagome?'

The wind was a soft whisper, cold like ice, sweeping the thirsty storm clouds around the shrinking moon. Only small patches of the sky were visible, with the little pricks of light from above to dance and vanish from sight. It all felt so metaphorical, ironic in its sick way. Finding an everlasting beam of light, hoping to hold fast to it, a bastion in the endless night, only to discover it snatched away by darkness that was thicker than it's beautiful magic could pierce.

"I was never meant... to be happy." The tiny rumble in his voice scorched his throat, shaking his body as if winter pressed its unforgiving hand to his flesh.

Kagome's voice held his attention; the unhidden excitement in her words snapped all the depressed thoughts out of his mind temporarily. Stumbling from the roof with his numb legs, Sesshomaru became a white blur, racing to her side like the guardian he had sworn to be. And there, at the end of the heart-stopping race, was Inuyasha, grinning like a mad man that had everything in the world. Everything that Sesshomaru wanted.

"What's up bro?"

The taiyoukai swallowed the building lump, casting the coldest of stares at the smirking other. "Aren't ya even happy to see me?" Kagome turned towards Sesshomaru, a questioned appeal to her face. "Bro?" She tried out the word, but gained little to the question within it.

"Guess not, since you were expecting me DEAD. Isn't that right? So the only thing I guess I have to ask you is... What are you doing here with MY woman?" Sesshomaru narrowed his pupils, never responding. Not while Kagome was present.

Inuyasha attempted to sit up, groaning at the jolts of pain playing down his spin. "Don't move, you have to let it heal first." Kagome threw her hands onto his raising chest, pressing the bed-ridden hanyou back down to the softness of the mattress. "Don't tell me to lay down, not while he's here."

Inuyasha's snap was something that caught her off guard, but she gnawed her lip and turned back to face Sesshomaru after the hanyou's hairs smoothed back down. "Could you please leave?"

"Not with!"

"Leave, Sesshomaru."

The taiyoukai curled his upper lip, despising the acidic authority she had just spat. It was Inuyasha's triumphant smirk that made him snarl openly into the air; a threat that pawed it's way into the room and spoke on many levels of languages. "Touch her, and I'll kill you."

"Sesshomaru!" Kagome shouted, yet the demon was all ready gone. She sat on her knee's, puffing her cheeks out in furious frustration with him. Why was he on edge? Was it because Inuyasha knew something, something he had been trying to keep from her? Chewing her nails from the assumptions formulating, Kagome faced her back to the door again, placing her soft grey orbs onto the one needing her true attention.

She smiled warmly, but the true sweetness wasn't there, only a mask like Sesshomaru's. "It's okay now." Inuyasha leaned on his side, resting his head on the pillow while watching her intently. "You can't trust him."

"Why do you say...?"

Inuyasha took up her hand in his large one, stroking his thumb across the feathery flesh, "You just can't... if you love me." Holding his focus, Kagome held her breath without realizing it. Her lip trembled, her vision became blurry. What was going on? Why would Inuyasha say such a thing?

And now, now was certainly the time to find out. Inuyasha was never one to lie; his word was gold to her and anyone else that knew him. He could never lie, not to her.

'Now is the moment of truth.'

Kagome dug her nails into the sheets, wincing at the small red scratch sliced down her upper hand. Small droplets of blood formed on the cut, the injury made by Inuyasha's sharp claws.

"Inuyasha?" He lifted his smile, lavishing in the crack her voice held when uttering his name, "I need you to tell me something. Who is Sesshomaru?"

………………………__

He paced endlessly around the garden, brushing fallen leaves from his shoulders and hair when he happened to realize the messy state he was in. Fretting wasn't helping his health; he could feel every muscle twist unnaturally from constant worry. What was Inuyasha telling her in there? How much did he really know, and how much information would he willingly relinquish?

'I can't stand idly by anymore, regardless if she screams for me to leave. I can't run from this, I have to fight it.' If his hair weren't already a naturally silver shade, he would have gained a full head of white hair from the stress alone.

Spinning on his heels to head back towards the cottage, Sesshomaru halted in his strides, stiff from the woman only a few feet away. Her scowl told him she was not pleased, and the bundle of clothes in her hands hinted of something else. Kagome's eyes had been transformed, spiteful and lifeless to the monster she stood before.

Chucking the items at his feet, she backed away in slow movements, never breaking the eye contact they held. It was Sesshomaru that happened to take a quick glance of his blood stained clothes and sword, then back to her knowing what she was insinuating. "Get out of here."

"No."

Kagome flinched at his sternness, wrapping her arms around herself for warmth. "This is my house, and you are no longer welcomed in it." Pinching his brows together, Sesshomaru swooped to collect his belongings, holding them close to his chest for the memories they held. "You're not safe with him."

"I don't want you here any more!"

Sesshomaru's grip tightened, lowering his gaze to the ground in defeat. How was he to warn her when she had already numbed herself towards him? When she had turned a deaf ear to his concern for her? With a flash, the position of personality swooped, having a teary eyed Sessh to jut out his lower lip in tears, "Kagome-san... you're m-my friend." She shut her lids tightly at his innocent voice, withdrawing a deep breath to hold down her grief.

"Stop it. Just stop it." She held herself firm, unmoving even for the littler one as she ground the order out. "You've been playing me for a fool the entire time. Inuyasha... he told me about you, and what you did to him. You're evil!" Her last word struck him deeper than she could ever know, smashing an invisible fist into his face.

"I was just a consolation prize, an object to you. I hate you."

Another low blow hit him.

"You never cared for anyone but yourself. You used me."

His body was beginning to feel the drain of her sharp words; the impact was growing stronger with each precise strike.

"I never want to see you again. I wish..."

Kagome's voice broke from the lump in her throat, the dirty betrayal she felt at this moment. Sessh extended a hesitant hand out to her, but she slapped it away, stinging him with her rejection, "I wish you had died from you're wounds. So then you could burn in hell where you belong!"

He felt dead, no longer apart of this world, cut off like a disease that he rightfully was. She had made her decision, and he was to be thrown aside and forgotten. It was the usual case for broken unwanted things, for the monsters that seeked companionship. Sessh hugged himself for support, chewing his lip feverously until his blood coated his tongue. He had looked away from her retreating form, unwilling to watch another person in his life desert him. The child recoiled into the inner mind both demon's shared, seeking comfort from the only one left he could turn too. 'She h-hate's me.'

'She doesn't hate you, just me.' The adult stroked the child's head, leading the little one to leap into his arms for a tear filled hug.

'What did you do! G-go says you're sorry so she won't l-look at us like that again. So s-she won't say those m-mean things.' The little boy wailed on Sesshomaru's shoulder, sniffling and clawing at the shirt in misery. The adult only halfly shut his lids, sighing sadly for the both of them. It had been so long since he felt this kind of betrayal, to feel completely rejected by those you knew.

'I can't. She won't listen, she never will again. Besides...' he continued, whispering in the ear of Sessh, 'I can't apologize for the way I feel.'

…………………………

Kagome was out, harvesting the last of her herbs for the season while Inuyasha slept most of the day away. It had been only a few days, but it felt so much longer without Sessh there to laugh it up. God how she missed that smiling face. The kid found love in everything... and his adult found only mockery. She shook her head in refusal at the pressing memory, pushing the fondness back down until it was once again locked away. 'I don't miss him. Neither of them. He deceived me, he used me for his own sick reason's.' How was she even sure that Sesshomaru wasn't a very good actor, playing two parts to gain sympathy from a lovesick woman and everyone else?

But what were his gains, if any, on deceiving her? Inuyasha had said they were brothers, sworn enemies of blood. That the hatred spawned between them branched out to anything they loved or cherished. Had that been Sesshomaru's plan? To destroy all Inuyasha held dear as a bonus to sibling revenge?

It saddened Kagome to assume this, to know that there was such an evil in the world. She could never hate her brother like the way Inuyasha had indicated he did his. Bowing her head, Kagome rubbed the bandage wrapped around her hand and arm. More accidents from Inuyasha's claws. He seemed so out of sorts lately, clumsy and almost drunk in movements and memories. Incoherent to the world when he broke from dreams. 'What can I expect. He's probably having post war flash backs or something.'

A warmth spread up her face, her inner miko alarm system spoke of someone watching her from a distance. Tossing her eyes in every direction, Kagome thought she spotted a patch of white amongst the fading greenery, a ruffle behind a tree. The forest became hushed, her heart appearing to be the only sound echoing off into the land.

"Who's there?" There was no answer, not even a cricket to call.

Gathering her belongings, Kagome quickened her task, hastily retreating into the cottage for protection against the watching eyes. What made her skin crawl even more was the fact that it was the same identical feeling she had received when Sesshomaru had watched her. He was still out there, somewhere, hiding. Waiting.

Banishing any further concern for now, she creaked her bedroom door open, peeking in on her little patient. And, as Kagome had assumed, he was still off in a dream world chasing bad guys. What surprised her the most was that Inuyasha still had her good luck charm tied on his arm, even after such trauma and travesty he had survived, all to brandish the symbol of their love. Kagome giggled soundly to herself, blushing madly like this was the first time they had been together. 'When I get back from errands, I'm gonna have to give Mr. Dog boy a sponge bath.'

She squinted her face up excitedly, hardly able to keep the squeal down to an appreciated level. Kagome collected the last of the medicine's and herbs into her basket, then took up a large piece of kindling to be used as a bat if anything should be out in the woods like her powers imagined. If Sesshomaru was out there, she had no problem giving him a lump he wound reckon with. She might even knock another personality in there too if she managed to swing hard enough. Hehe

…………………………..

The feeling refused to disperse, confirming that someone or something was following her ever since she left the house. Kagome kept her wits though, walking quickly, with the wooden log firm in her clutch.

_Kagome..._

Swiveling her head around, she brought her weapon up in defense. She had heard it, her name, floating on the breeze, in the woods, singing in the air after her. 'Am I going nuts?' Maybe she was hearing voices, sprouting a personality just like Sesshomaru. Freak city.

_Kagome..._

There it was again, louder this time. The name fluttered around the startled woman, tousling her hair, brushing a loving caress against her burning lobe. Twirling in many circles, Kagome was nearly in a state to flee in any direction if the thing made itself visible, which she didn't doubt would. Her adrenaline pumped wildly, coursing through veins in a sonic speed. The white of her knuckles shone bright against her flesh, and still her clutch grew around the wood.

"Kagome?"

It was right behind her, the voice deep and haunting. Kagome knew whom it was, who called to her from his secret place, and she whimpered. Slowly facing the taiyoukai, the fury returned, hot and alive like the last time they had spoken. "You. What do you want?" Kagome remained in her awkward stance, legs spread for a power swing if he launched forward.

Sesshomaru was a powerful figure, holding the presence that all feared, an aura that demanded respect and compliance. He held his ground, the plainness on his features spoke loudly that he was not the fun loving one she had once cherished dearly. "We need to talk."

Kagome openly snorted, backing away to her unseen house. "Yeah, about what? How you nearly killed Inuyasha? About the other people you've heartlessly killed? About revenge, blood lust, death, murder... all of the above?" The taiyoukai lowered his head, bangs obstructing her view of his eyes. Those windows to his undying soul.

"About... the truth."

"I already know it. Inuyasha told me everything."

"Are you certain he told you ALL of it?"

Kagome snarled at his audacity. "He would never lie to me, unlike you."

"I never lead you astray, I never told you anything." How could he keep his voice so damn calm, so enchanting? It was a lure, baiting her into a trap. 'Curse you Sesshomaru. How dare you make me doubt him!' Yet... the silence only lingered, leading the demon to warp the conversation in his favor with that aristocratic charm. He fiercely stood his ground, unmoving like stone, as she did hers. 'Why do I have to be so curious?'

"Will you leave me alone if I hear you out?" He nodded slowly, coming unwontedly close. Kagome defensively threw her hands in the air, backing away two steps for his one, "Whoa, whoa, that's close enough."

A teasing tug pulled at Sesshomaru's lips, revealing the sharp canines underneath the softness of his mouth. It was such an unforgettable contrast, forcing Kagome to hold her free hand up to finger her mouth. It was an unconscious reaction to a memory long ago, of a kiss that should never have been given life. This demon sparked so many dangerous fires inside that she felt the burn sear a new blush onto her ivory cheeks, scorching her mouth at the heat he had once produced there. How did he do this to her? It seemed with only a mere facial expression he wielded the power to force her body into the worst kind of betrayal. 'Damn you Sesshomaru.'

"Follow me than." Again he was collected, gesturing the woman to thoughtlessly go with him.

"Where?"

Glancing over his shoulder, the demon gave her a tiny smirk, hinting nothing, "You'll see."

And, like an obedient puppy, Kagome begrudgingly did as he had commanded. She could make a mad dash to the cottage, scream out for Inuyasha to rescue her, but then again, how would she ever know the absolute story if she continued to flee? Besides, Sesshomaru would be upon her with out a moment's hesitation or a heartbeat, silencing her with his sword or worse.

For a few minutes he didn't utter a single word, collecting himself perhaps for what needed to be said, or the trap he was bound to spring. "Are you gonna start talking or just lure me out here to die?"

"Which would you prefer?"

"The truth, so I can say you told me and I can carry on with my life." Sesshomaru chuckled, but didn't say anything after that, forcing her to grow impatient at blindly following him into the heart of the forest. Kagome huffed at her bangs in agitation, swatting branches out of her way trying to keep up with her fleet footed companion. Just when her patience began to ware thin, Sesshomaru broke her concentration, "You're very special to me Kagome, I would never wish you harm."

"So is that the reason you brought me out here?" He nodded, back strait and tall. "You don't believe me?"

"No." The taiyoukai stopped in his tracks, listening to her footfalls halt simultaneously. Sesshomaru slightly turned his body to see her, studying her stare and body language for only a spent second. "I respect you too." 'Not only for your blunt honesty.'

Flipping her sweaty hair, and digging out some fallen leaves from her tangled raven locks as well, Kagome grumbled at the knots she was receiving form this little outing, "Will you just get to the point, I don't have all day for you to pussy foot around trying to kiss and make up with me."

'I know, I know.' Sesshomaru reassured himself, sniffing the air to determine how much farther they had until they arrived to the location. "I can't just tell you about the war, you wouldn't understand anything if I did."

"Then get on with it. Just don't expect a pity party when you're done, got it?"

"May I carry you?"

"Eh?" She had been caught off guard there for second, thinking she heard the ruthless demon offer to carry her somewhere. What an amusing thought. Kagome nearly laughed at herself for misinterpreting that. But it appeared he was dead serious, Sesshomaru swung his body around to face her, uncomfortably close in his usual masked manner. "At this rate, I'm afraid you'll lose you're patience with me before we arrive."

"Arrive where?"

The taiyoukai bowed his upper body, towering over the helpless woman with a dominating air smothering the both of them. "To the place it all began."


	12. My secrets: Part one

Vixon: sorry I haven't updated in a while, my school's computer won't let me upload anything cus it's a bung hole. But at least I managed to find one that worked. So here it is, the flash back that explains it all. Sesshomaru's past and such. Though I had to separate it into three chapters so this isn't the one and only. I've already got the next one all typed just needing spell check so it wont be forever when I get that one up either. If you likey, tell me and I'll try to get thing in swing again. ENJOY!

**Ch12** **_"My secrets: Part one"_**

Kagome gulped, clutching her basket in a ruthless strangulation. At first, she couldn't detach any kind of protest from her tongue, his advancement to her silence only left ineligible mumbles and broken phrases. She weighed next to nothing when cradled; Sesshomaru effortlessly clasped the woman close to his chest, securing her safety for the extended journey. He carried Kagome bridal style through the woods, flying at unimaginable speeds in blurs that caused her head to sing of migraine.

Kagome was startled, building a refusal towards the carrier, wanting to even, but quickly conclude it possessed absolutely no effect even if she did? Sesshomaru was the type to push his wants until he received them, and her throwing a temper tantrum over the matter would only serve to deplete her energy for a futile struggle. She was helpless, as usual.

Besides, he wasn't forceful or rough about it either. That is what bothered her the most about this undignified display. Sesshomaru kept her comfort well in check, rotating from running on the ground to jumping in the branches, testing to see which suited her most.

He protected her face from low whip-like bushes, wrapping his tail around her legs as a soft cushioned shield. How was she supposed to despise him if he took such tedious care for her health? 'Man, this isn't my day.'

The strides began to slow, the constant bouncing of Kagome's body in his arms ceased as the taiyoukai walked in smooth graceful strokes. "Is it over?" Kagome asked, green in the face, clutching a hand to her mouth to hold down today's breakfast. Wouldn't that look dandy, having Sesshomaru decorated with tasty vomit? 'I'm sure he'd just love that.' She mused, looking about the area to get her bearings. Sesshomaru chuckled at Kagome's puffing cheeks, loosening his hug just a bit so she didn't spew. "For now. You get used to the queasiness after a while."

Once efficiently scanning the forest grounds, Kagome slowly began to realize this place seemed remotely familiar somehow, a distant place from a distant time perhaps.

Sitting up in his hold, Kagome searched the tree's over carefully. The fogginess felt welcoming, a place that was purely magical. The woman's memory wasn't serving her very well, seeing how this had to be a very long time ago. Feeling out of sorts sucked. Being left in a demon's hold wasn't helping much either.

"Uh, you can put me down now." It took a moment for Kagome to realize he had forgotten to release her. Or did he? The taiyoukai shook his head in amusement, taking in the deep scent of the forest after all settled down. He loved the richness the wilds held, the purity in every natural object, the seductive mingel with Kagome to create an aroma completely addictive... just like how she tasted.

Licking his lips, Sesshomaru eyed his temporary hostage like a hungry man set in front of a king's feast. It had felt like age's to know harmony in one's self, though in all actuality it had only been the course of three days since Kagome chased him away. But never mind the miner details, he felt at peace with her locked in his embrace, whether it be by choice or not.

"It's just a little farther now." Sesshomaru hummed, his hand rubbed her outer thigh possessively in an action that received one hell of an earful for such touching. How soon he forgot the thin ice they teetered upon. Well, you can't say he didn't try, testing his boundaries as they went.

When they broke from the brush, Kagome's rants ceased for her jaw to drop in awe. The lake was beautiful, a crystallized mirror's reflection of the heavens above. The rich display of gold and auburn gave an autumn spice to the exuberating landscape, like a lost kingdom in the midsts of a magical transformation.

She could only imagine it's appearance in the blooming spring, filled to the capacity with dark green's and flourishing wild flowers that would blanket all in it's overwhelming hues. The smells alone would be overloading even for a mere human. Yes, she could visualize all of the sprinkled enchantment, feel it down to her bones. Remember it as what it was in one wash of memory.

"I've been here." Sesshomaru nodded with her self-discovery. "We both have." Setting her down on a log by the bank, the demon squatted next to the awe struck beauty, observing her expression descend into the angel he knew and loved. "But..."

Kagome placed a hand to the side of her head, gazing down into the glass-like surface of the water, "How?" She dabbled a roaming finger into the cool fresh liquid, causing little rings to gather around by the disturbance and expand further into the lake. "Okay, you've got to tell me before my brain explodes trying to think."

A genuine smile graced his lips, leaving the demon to sit and stare at his hands folded neatly in his lap. Sesshomaru shyly fiddled with his clothes, a distant appeal rooting onto his face. "It was a long time ago. Very long for me. But... I do remember it. I could never forget... you."

_**FLASH BACK**_

_Far into the west, a castle stood, firm and proud like its master. Its walls had been built to protect those inside, and so it did from the outside world, filtering out the problems those only mortals lived and lesser demons roamed. It was pure paradise; surrounded by lush forest over flowing with the promise of plump game to feast upon and fragrant flowers to lose one's self in. It was known as heaven on earth, a place established with timeless love and laughter. _

_It was home._

_Tiny silver haired 5 year old poked his head from a hanging tree branch, creeping towards his unsuspecting prey down below. It was a helpless thing, unsuspecting his actions, all his to attack. Curling his lip to flash the fangs, the demon child crouched onto a lower branch, silent in his stalking. 'Just a little closer.' His smile widened. The lady turned another page of her book in complete ignorance. 'And,' the boy began, readying his launch; 'I've,' springing from his perch, he shouted at the woman, "GOTCHA!"_

_But the lady caught him in mid-air, twirling him around with the largest smile ever seen. "Oh do you now? I do believe it is I who have you, Fluffy Bottoms." The demon boy squealed openly for the tickles she bestowed, the lady blew playfully onto is tummy, tickling his bare feet with a nimble finger until he squirmed and laughed in defeat, "I give, I give. Mommy, you win."_

_She spun around in a circle with him in hand, and then fell to the ground as she sang, "Ashes, ashes. We all fall down." _

_He loved her. His mother was everything to him, beautiful, smart, protecting, loving, funny, everything good in the world. Everything he thought still claimed the world. Nuzzling sweetly into her dress, Sesshomaru gazed at her in admiration. "How'd you know I was there?"_

_It wasn't a big secret, she rubbed his disheveled hair with affection and love, "Well, you screaming 'GOTCHA!' was a big clue. Plus, I'm you're mother. I wouldn't be a very good one if I didn't know where you were. And you, little mister, are always up to trouble." Sesshomaru scrunched his shoulders, rolling his eyes as he shrugged, "I live for danger. I'm gonna be just like papa when I grow up, and find someone just like you to marry."_

_"Oh yeah, what am I?"_

_"A fairy."_

_His mother laughed, beeping his nose with her finger, "Did you know fairies can grant wishes? It's true."_

_Sesshomaru had a bright glint possess his eyes, bubbling with excitement for the new knowledge, "Let's go find one and wish papa comes home soon." His mother hardly had time to sit up before he was scanning the outer gardens, looking behind every leaf to find the secretive little people with butterfly wings. He was just bound determined to get that wish, whether she helped or not. The lady gazed distantly at her energetic son, smiling sadly to herself for his wasted enthusiasm. _

_Sesshomaru resembled his father so much, but he was so innocent, so loving and trusting. Was it safe to say the same for Inu-sama?_

_She returned her sights to the book left neglected on the stone bench, sighing at her diary. It had been too long. Inu-sama should have returned by now. What was keeping him from returning home? 'Be safe, my love.'_

_"Mommy, I think I found one." His mother never did show her sorrow, not to the servants, and surely not to her child. What would he think if she broke down in tears that were most likely unnecessary? Inu-sama could be trusted, she assured herself this many times. He would return. He always came back for them. _

_Wiping the grimness from her features in a well-trained manner, she brushed her kimono free of grass and began to follow her energetic son. If only he really had found a fairy, if only._

……………………

_Sesshomaru sat in his room, bored with himself. It had been nearly a week since his fairy quest and he still couldn't locate one to wish with. 'Fairies are really good hiders.' He banged his head lightly on the window, watching the world pass by in it's mundane ritual 'If only papa would take me with him on his adventures. I've been practicing with the sword so hard, I wonder why he didn't notice.' The servants scurried around with usual business, and Sesshomaru continued to watch the distance for any sign of his father._

_No one was visible; no little speck to indicate anyone was approaching. There had only been one person to visit them, and it was no one Sesshomaru found important enough to dwell upon. It had been a mere messenger, delivering mail to a few servants and his mother. No one of importance. _

_Blowing a sigh out, the tiny demon finally scampered off to locate his mother, hoping she would read another fairy tale to him or indulge in a game of hide and seek until supper. It was just too quiet in this place, almost frightening in it's unspoken way. Wandering the finely decorated halls, Sesshomaru's nose gave a sudden twitch. He inhaled deeply, detecting the scent of salt water lingering somewhere in the air._

_A sniffle came from behind a slightly opened door; Sesshomaru had almost overlooked the hidden frame. He hushed himself to listen in on the sorrowful sobs, his peach face losing its once healthy glow from the recognition of his mother's heart wrenching mourning. _

_How could she be so sad, on such a beautiful day? Peeking one eye into the chamber, Sesshomaru allowed his amber orbs to take in the shuttering silhouette of his dismayed mother, leaning against a sitting area by the window, her hands clasping her face shakily. Immediately, the young demon inched the doors open, a look of fear swept over his features. Why was she crying, why would she shed a tear? She was always so happy, was always laughing with him or the servants. So why did she cry? _

_Slowly creeping up to his mother, Sesshomaru leaned a little towards her shivering frame. "Mommy...?" He asked, reaching a hand up to her elbow._

_The lady instantly jerked away, leaping at the touch of something grazing over her flesh. The quick motion also made her son jump, eyes wide in fright. "Sorry mommy, I was just wondering why you were here by yourself. What's the matter? Why are you sad?" Crowding her now, Sessh managed to pull the crumpled parchment from her trembling fingers, finding it tear stained and wrinkled almost to the point of ruining it._

_His mother clamped down on her lip, closing her red puffy eyes so he would not have to see her like this. Bounding to the doors, Sesshomaru only watched as his mother vanished from his sights, leaving behind the overwhelming smell of salt and a little piece of paper with his fathers broken seal._

……………………

_Father had left her. The heartless creature had left her for another... a mortal. After Sesshomaru had read the note until memorized, he burned its repulsive sympathies, praying it wasn't true. This had to be a joke, a cruel, harmless joke with his father ready to jump out from the closet and mock Sesshomaru's gullibility. No one was cruel enough to harm his mother... No one._

_But... no matter how hard Sesshomaru denied, how often he reminded himself that his father loved him and would return, the truth seemed to sink in deeper and deeper each day Inu-sama never returned. "Was it something... I did?" Sesshomaru quizzed, running his fingers constantly through his hair with distress. _

_Knots. He had rough, course horsehair and balled up knots infesting his scalp. 'That's it. Father wants me to be presentable, t-to teach me a lesson. I'm a mess, he's just embarrassed, that's all.' The tiny demon flew to his dresser post haste, running the brush repeatedly through his silvery strands despite the pain._

_A little pain never hurt anyone, he could live through this. Anything so long as Inu-papa came home. Sesshomaru stared long and hard into the mirror, sweeping his focus on the reflection with scrutiny. "I'm dirty." He thus bolted to the hot spring, extra clean clothes in his hands, ready to scrub every inch of himself to please his father._

_"Sesshomaru." Came his mother's heavenly voice, weak and fragile from the days of mourning. The child skidded to a stop, slowly facing her chamber doors, walking a hesitant path to the one that beckoned him. "Yes mommy?" He clumsily juggled the bundle of clothes, approaching the frail creature that had once been full of pride and compassion._

_The room was so dark, even in daylight hours. Dust began to accumulate over every thing, placing a dull blanket onto the once polished furniture and occupant. No servant dared disturb their mistress during such a harsh time, leaving her to mope in peace, sheltered from the world of memories that were surely driving her into an early grave. She stared out the balcony from her chair, hands folded in her lap as the glow in her eyes began to fade. "Where are you going in such a hurry Fluffy Bottoms?"_

_The boy fidgeted, trying to mount a reassuring smile for her. She looked so much like a ghost, wasting away from heartbreak and loss. "Just to the hot springs. I need to clean up for... " Sessh didn't dare finish, knowing the mention of his father erupted further tears. Lowering his head, Sesshomaru bowed in apology, shutting his eyes at his blundering tongue. 'I must learn to choose my words before speaking. Look what I've done to her.'_

_Instead of hearing the over flow of his mother's tidal wave; the boy felt the lady's soft skeletal hand fall over the top of his head. "Don't look so serious Fluffy Bottoms, It doesn't suit you one teeny tiny bit."_

_"Mother..." His eyes grew misty, but he had to blink them away. He couldn't cry in front of her, it would solve nothing but force an inevitable break down. "It's alright, Sesshomaru. You have nothing to regret, nothing at all. You don't have to change."_

_His shoulders began to shake, causing the boy to bite his lip ruthlessly to hold back the sob. But it appeared one small betraying tear escaped his clenched lids no matter how valiantly he fought to conceal it. It was the catalyst that sent him to flee out of her room and into the dieing hallways, running to a destination that could hide his own sorrow from her view. _

_He would be strong for the both of them; it was his duty to protect his grieving mother from the hardships they were bound to face together. Changes had to be made on his part, along with sacrificing the innocence all must cast aside during life. There was no value in bliss, no profit that would come for those around you._

_He was going to protect them, even if his emotions were the cost of her health. It was his time to grow up and know the world for what it truly was, ugly and harsh on the kind and weak._

_His mother watched the departure, her brows slanting in sorrow. 'My sweet child, I love you with all my heart. Forgive me.'_

…………………

_It was a dark day, the apocalyptic kind when Sesshomaru was left to burry his dearly departed mother. The doctors said she died of malnutrition, Sesshomaru knew she had died of a broken heart. The servants abandoned him in the gardens, left him to stare distantly at the grave, lost to the world._

_Where did he belong now? What did he have left bedside's the grey memories of what had been? "Mommy..." Sesshomaru fell to his knees, knowing he had failed her. He was not strong enough; he couldn't shield her from the misery. It was his guilt, his fault. She deserved so much more, and he had been too late to save her. Pawing at the dirt that covered his mother's body, Sesshomaru wanted to be held in her loving arms again. "Mommy!" She couldn't be dead, not his mother, she would never leave him. She loved him too much to just die. The tears gushed from his eyes, spilling into dark puddles on the rich soil._

_'I have nothing. I want to be with you. Take me with you!' Sesshomaru brought his blurry vision up to her tombstone, sniffing the ground to know she was there... and she was never coming back._

…………………

_Sesshomaru was curled into a tight ball, shivering and hungry, but he wouldn't leave her behind. He refused to leave his mother's grave, no matter how much the remaining servants pleaded. The child was even vicious when others came too close, spatting and clawing at them when they attempted to remove him._

_That had been twelve days ago, now he trembled from the ice-like rain that plummeted down upon his trembling frame. Sesshomaru cuddled closer to the head stone, wrapping his drenched tail around himself for just a little protection from the wrathful weather. His tears were drowned, washed away as they fell, leaving the child to pray to be absorbed by the darkness. He wanted to close his eyes and never wake up... just like his mama. To be with her again, to disappear into nothingness._

_A strange jacket blanketed the boy, shielding him from the beating of the storm; engulfed with the smell of a dog demon thickly on it's warm fabric. The man looked over to the castle, rubbing the back of his head in thought. "You always were a hard headed fuzz ball." The rumble of the voice took Sesshomaru a moment to register, leading him to think he heard the storm talking. 'But... No. Father.'_

_Opening his lids just enough to squint, the little demon caught a glimpse of the man that had caused all this. 'No, not him. It can't be him. Papa doesn't care about us, not about me.' Snuggling up to the stone even more, Sesshomaru hissed at the illusion. "Go away. Leave me alone." _

_"Excuses me young man?" Came the stern, commanding voice of a true warrior demon. Inu-sama planted both his hands on his hips, arching an eyebrow at his defiant son._

_Sesshomaru kicked at his father, but missed horribly from lack of food. "Just... let me... Die." Inu-sama cursed at that said, scooping his only child up in his brawny arms. "Sorry about this kid, but I can't do that."_

_Holding Sesshomaru close, they began the long journey to his new home, to his new family._

……………………

_It took hours to regain a normal temperature, piling blankets upon blankets on Sesshomaru's weakened body. When he eventually came too, he thought he was in heaven, finally able to rest in peace after long last. The demon child even laughed softly, reaching out for his awaiting mother, "Mommy." A warm hand grasped his, squeezing affectionately to keep him at ease. "I finally... found you, mommy."_

_Sesshomaru brought his hazy vision on the individual holding him, squinting at the strangeness the person held. The smell that belonged to no one he identified with. He didn't know them. She was a stranger, an imposter. Wrenching his hand loose, Sesshomaru scrambled away from the dark haired woman, eyes wide in terror. "No, It's alright child." She attempted to sound sincere; to ease his panicked thoughts, but her voice only heightened it. Sesshomaru growled at the stranger, baring his teeth and fangs at the human like a cornered beast._

_The demon flared his nostrils at the foreign scents, the place he didn't recognize. "Stay away." Sesshomaru snarled, swatting at the woman when she came too close. The terror in her eyes told him she would not indulge in a death-defying attempt again. When she gave ample distance, Sesshomaru backed to the parting doors leading outside, crouched and ready to attack anyone that gave him reason too._

_"Please, lay back down, you're still weak." The woman beckoned, taking a hesitated step forward. Again, Sessh swatted at her, feeling the dizziness tilt his world there for a minute. He stumbled forward, lids shut to hold his thoughts in place. 'Must escape, must escape, must escape.' Falling back on his butt, instead of his face, the youkai pushed at the sliding doors, desperate to lodge them open. He was so weak, so limp and numb._

_The human woman came beside his thin body, bravely placing a hand on his drooping shoulder, "Please, Sesshomaru, just lay down until you're well." She almost sounded like his mother, he nearly mistaken them for each other. Was this a dream? Had all the heart ach been a nightmare testing his will? The two sounds were so soft and loving, even her touch was a reminder, scorching youkai by the memories it evoked. "Mommy... I wan't my mommy." _

_Tilting forward, the lady beamed him a smile. But to trust a broken demon, that felt they had nothing left to live for, you quickly realize you made a dire mistake, "And you're not her!" Sessh screamed, slicing her arm with his claws, forcing the human to stumble away with a shriek. That would teach her to touch him, to save him when he didn't want it._

_It was a perfect distraction, Sesshomaru pushed at the doors with what strength he held, crawling out to the garden in a fizzling state. After traveling only a short distance, a rough hand fell on the back of his neck, lifting the boy up in the air with ease. Sesshomaru's hands fumbled to break the grip, his animalistic instincts driving him to nearly transform into his true form just to escape these people._

_"Don't you dare." Inu-sama snapped, smacking his son over the head for trying to transform here. "You want to bust the place up with you're size?" Sesshomaru's blood froze, causing his body to fall limp once registering its familiar tone._

_Inu-sama dropped the boy onto his wobbling legs, with the demon child clutching the struck part on his throbbing skull. "You." Sesshomaru hissed, pushing away to keep the man at a distance he found comforting. He didn't want anything to do with that bastard man. The same that killed his mother by ripping her heart out for another._

_"Uh, yeah. It's me. Who'd you think I was?"_

_"A bastard. A murderer. Get away from me, you disgust me!" Sesshomaru stumbled on his rubbery legs and leaded feet, attempting to run back to his mother's grave... wherever that was._

_The strange black haired lady came out to see the reason behind the child's screaming, clutching her bleeding arm with care. Inu-sama's nose flared at the smell of a fresh wound, spinning on his heels to see the revolting red leak from her ivory flesh. "Did he do that to you?" The voice was cold, hateful for the revulsion he felt._

_The lady shook her head, bowing it while watching Sesshomaru stiffen his jaw with anger. "H-he didn't mean too. I was clumsy, and he was frightened." But that hardly hindered Inu-sama from pulling Sesshomaru over his lap and whooping the fire out of him. The little demon boy kicked his legs in protest, squealing at first when the hard hand fell onto his sensitive hind courters, but he quickly buttoned his lip when all became numb after a few swats._

_Sesshomaru kept his eyes tightly shut, holding the noise and tears down to take it like a man.(even if he's only 5) Never had this ever been the boys discipline, not in a million years if his mother was around. His father stood him; bringing Sesshomaru in front of the woman with red lacing his pupils, "Now apologize for hurting her."_

_At first, the little youkai said nothing, staring deeply into the patio floorboards. Inu-sama took hold of his arm, the red spreading in his sights. Sesshomaru clamped his teeth on his tongue, willing to put another slice down her other arm to match if it weren't for his father holding him back._

_"Sesshomaru!"_

_"She deserved it." _

_His father gave him another round of spankings, this time the boy made no sound, unable to feel anything anymore. He doubted he'd be able to sit down any time soon either. "Apologize right now, or so help me-"_

_"You'll what? Leave again? Kill me like you killed mommy? Go ahead and do it than, I'd rather be with her anyways." Inu-sama stiffened his posture, dragging his son to the room he had tried so desperately to escape from. "Consider yourself grounded, mister, until you can cool down and get your head out of your ass." The taiyoukai slammed the sliding doors shut, locking them from the outside, as if that could hold a demon from escaping, and walked over to the still silent woman._

_Sesshomaru watched the shadows of the two people, his sniffles forcing hiccups to over come his quivering body. His father reached out for the lady, taking up her arm in a gentle caress Sesshomaru had seen him do to his own mother once upon a time. Inu-sama lifted the ladies chin so that her eyes met his; he whispered soft reassurance into her ears, one's mostly concerning Sesshomaru._

_The boy brought his legs up to his chest, listening with his pointy ears to the words his father spoke under his breath._

_"I know he will be hard on you. He has just lost his mother recently, but you have to be patient with my son. If he hurts you again, scold him or tell me. I don't want to see you hurt because he can't except you as his new mother."_

_"New... mother?" Sesshomaru mouthed the words, finding them bitter and impossible to fathom. 'No. I don't want a new one... I want mommy. I want MY mommy.' Sesshomaru buried hiss face into his knees, rocking back and forth as the lady agreed, lead away by his father to seek some bandages. _

_The world around the little boy was dim, growing darker by the long days he came to endure._

……………………

_Many weeks went by, and still he couldn't even look at the new mother with anything but disgust. He hated her, not only because his father had chosen a mortal over his mother, but also because she was so patient and compassionate... no matter how badly he degraded her. She was so much like the woman he had called mommy, and yet so different that it hurt._

_Each time she attempted to get close, Sesshomaru pushed away. Whenever she made light conversation, he said the worst things that came to mind. And yet she still came back for more abuse, and Sesshomaru was always punished severally for his lashing out. Why didn't anyone understand that he just wanted to be left alone? That he preferred death over a life with strangers?_

_And to make matters even worse, news of Ako's pregnancy was the talk of the castle. (I have no clue what Inuyasha's mother is called, so I'll just make it up. kay?) Though she had been disowned by many of her relatives for her choice in husbands, the few that remained somewhat loyal visited often to praise her and the soon to-be father. Inu-sama was the proudest one of them all, boasting and buoyant throughout the get together._

_'Was he ever this happy when MY mother was pregnant with me?'_

_Sesshomaru watched from the doorframe, half hidden by the wall as he eyed the odd people Inu-sama forced him to call family. They were no kin to him, and they surely looked down upon all demons, even if they be too cowardly to speak such truth. Even the servants held a dismissive expression when it came to Sesshomaru, the 'unwanted brat' they whispered._

_Watching them with his amber eyes, the little demon child listened to the conversations from each group of people, picking out bits and pieces to reflect upon. How he longed to just walk out there, taking up his fathers hand and play like so many months ago. Before all fell to hell. Why did childhood have to end? Why was he tortured so cruelly for a reason he didn't even know existed?_

_Inu-sama kissed his wife on the cheek and stepped out of the room, perhaps seeking more sake to fill glasses for his guest's. A man came up to Ako, slightly red in the face from abuse of the alcohol, grinning from ear to ear at her rounding belly. "That guy sure knocked you up." His new mother blushed in embarrassment, covering her face, and her nose, when the guy came closer to whisper something in her ear. _

_Sesshomaru didn't pick up what he said, but what ever it was, it placed a sad look onto Ako's face. Sesshomaru felt his eyes grow red, knowing good and well the drunken man had said something to offend her. She was too forgiving, too much of a pacifist to tell the pricks to shut their filthy mouths. She never did with him._

_Growling in his throat, Sesshomaru grounded his claws into the doorframe, hating those kinds of people with a passion. He despised the one's that hurt the innocent, the only good in the world. And though he hated to admit it, he hated those that harmed Ako... even himself._

_One of the women yelped out, grabbing her skirts and twirling around when she caught sight of glowing eyes. She scurried away with a giggle when she noticed the tiny youkai, pointing him out to the others in her gossiping group. "Oh, look at that one. He's just adorable."_

_Turning his attention to her, Sesshomaru snorted at the remark, flattening his ears as the other woman agreed full heartedly, "Yes, he is a cutie."_

_"Just like a little puppy."_

_"I wish I had one like that."_

_The gaggle of woman laughed, catching the attention of Ako and the object they were admiring. "Sesshomaru, why don't you come out of hiding and meet some of my relatives." She masked the sorrow within masterfully, like she probably had since birth. He pulled away at first, ducking behind the frame to avoid Ako's suggestion. Sesshomaru didn't want to spit out another insult to her in public, especially when it seemed her family was even more ruthless than he when it came to cutting the kind woman down._

_But cowardice wasn't an option. He would not be intimidated by mere humans. Making his presence known, Sesshomaru stepped forth into the room so all may see him. Many gasped once noticing his long silver hair. A smaller, cuter version of his father._

_"Ako, he's so precious. He can't be yours." One of the older women began as a troop of others came closer to stroke his hair, pinch his cheeks, pet his long furry tail. Ako blushed, but shook her head, "N-no, he is Inu-sama's first born, from another marriage. But I would like to think of him as a son." _

_Sesshomaru bit his tongue, refusing to comment on that, especially when she looked to him for approval. Turning away from her, Sesshomaru took the baby talk and hands best he could. They crowded like he was one of a kind, stroking him was a once in a lifetime opportunity. And, in all actuality, he kinda liked the affectionate attention. One lady even found his tickle spot, but he quickly covered it up so no one else could force him to giggle. Showing his fangs when he grinned was rather embarrassing when he really didn't want to scare the cooing away._

_It was all well and good he supposed, nuzzling into one ladies hand as she brushed her fingers through his hair. Until the drunk approached, tipsy as ever. He scrunched his face up at the little boy, pushing some of the girls aside to get a good look at the child, "He's not so cute. Look at those weird things on his face."_

_Scowling indignantly at the man, Sesshomaru tried to keep his tone from showing too much spite in it, "They're called markings."_

_"Looks like you got into you're mother's make-up. You wouldn't happen to be a fag now would you? I hear a lot of demon's now-a-days are." Ako quickly gasped, clutching her stomach as she attempted to stand, "Miano, stop that talk. Please don't speak of such things while your drunk." Many gave her a questioning look, as if this was the first time she had ever flown to the defense._

_Miano just brushed her words aside, even though Ako was desperately trying to shield the lot of them from Sesshomaru's temper. Which she knew was rising from that mother comment. If anything, you never mentioned his mother unless he gave you permission._

_The drunk swung his cup around, spilling the liquid on the floor in puddles, "Please sister, he probably is. Look at the way he make's himself up, dolling up like a woman." The red flashed in Sesshomaru's eyes, his jaw stiffened as his fangs grew in size. 'And to think I was trying to be nice.'_

_Sesshomaru was bound ready to take his leave of these bothersome people, but the man caught his tail, yanking it when he should have left well alone. "Come here boy, I aint done with you yet." The man's speech was slurring, horribly, causing Ako to look for Inu-sama before all hell broke loose._

_Miano planted the semi-empty cup on Sesshomaru's head, trying to balance it while he pointed a finger in the little boys face, "You demon's aren't that tough. Look at him, he just stares at ya." Many of the women backed away, noticing the little one that they had tried to tickle begin to fume over in outrage. His hair stood on end, his claws flexed, and his eyes were almost full red._

_Now that Ako had left to find his father, Sesshomaru snapped his full attention on the drunk, "Mother fucker," he began, able to hear the man's very heart skip a beat by the foulness he snarled, "You better get this cup off my head before I knock your lights out."_

_The drunk had been caught off guard by the unexpected language, but his hazy state made him bold, and stupid. Miano laughed boastfully in the kids face, now the only person in Sesshomaru's striking range. "And what are you gonna do shrimp, bite my ankles?" Smirking, the little youkai motioned for the guy to come closer to his face. And like an idiot drunk, Miano came eye level with the little demon. _

_Balling his fist up, Sesshomaru withheld most of his strength, colliding his hand into the stunned man's face. It was an attack that sent Miano flying across the room to smash into the chair Ako had once been seated. The room fell silent; all facial expressions went horrified as the unconscious man lay on the ground in the very next room. Sesshomaru lowered his arm, smiling proudly to himself. He had never meant to hit the guy so hard, ruining the wall and chair so badly, but the man would live, hopefully never to touch another drop of liquor in his life again. Or at least never to insult a demon, no matter how big or small it was._

_Waltzing over to the debris, Sesshomaru took the cup from his head, pouring the remaining contents on the guy before chucking the glass next to him. "I warned you." Sesshomaru sneered, spinning back around to the audience._

_They watched him in terror, the women that had once found him adorable now coward behind each other to dodge his gaze. 'I guess I won't get any more attention.' He sadly mused, looking up to find his father with a jug of fresh sake in one hand and Ako in the other. The taiyoukai glanced at the hole in the wall, then at his son in astonishment._

_"Damn it Sesshomaru, how many time's I gotta tell you to take it easy on the upholstery?" No, never mind the guy thrown for a loop, the wall and furniture are much more important._


	13. My secrets: Part two

**Vixon: I know, this is waaaaaaay over do but life has been one complication after another. So I hope you enjoy this one cus it nearly killed me to write, and the next chapter isn't being easy either, probably gonna be a 20 pager too. Boy these have gotten really long but at least you know how Sesshomaru met Kagome in this one. Sooooooo….. have fun reading. **

**Oh yeah, one more thing, if you see this XXXXXXXX it means it's a devider of moments, the periods won't show up anymore after spell check.**

**ch13 _"My secrets: Part two"_**

_Months later, Sesshomaru sat in the tree branches, gazing off into space while the screams of Ako resounded into the garden. She was in labor, and had been for quite some time now. His eyes were glazed, half shut as he searched the heavens in blankness. The little demon prayed every night for his mother to return, his real one, to Wisk him away to a place they could be happy together and far from Ako's wails. But... she never came, she never would. She was dead, and you never came back from that no matter how much love you held for a person._

_Frowning upon that, another scream came, followed by the high pitch squeal of the enfant. Inu-papa came out soon after, with the little bundle in his hands, headed to the tree Sesshomaru sat motionless in. "It's a little brother." _

_Sesshomaru still paid no heed to his father's presence or the yipping child. He blinked when the man repeatedly kicked the tree, rocking it until he gave a response. Gazing down the entanglement of branches, the boy scowled at the loving expression his father held for the screaming new born. Turning back to sky gazing, the youkai crossed his arms and laid back to rest. "Sesshomaru..."_

_"What father! Do you want me to be happy for you? For that slut you have in there or that bastard you hold? I wish they both died in child labor, okay? Leave me alone already, I don't care!" The boy turned away, pouting as the breeze brushed the words into the distance. _

_Inu-sama clutched the baby closer to his breast, rocking him until he eased into a dream filled slumber. The father took a deep breath, heading back towards the castle for Ako to feed her son. Sesshomaru had made his point and he no longer wanted company. Especially when it was with his family. The boy, that had once been full of so much love and laughter, had turned cold, retracting from the world, wanting nothing more to do with life or those around him. Sesshomaru felt betrayed, hurt, like the tears that he unleashed would be never ending._

_The small boy crushed his face with one hand, concealing the sadness draining from his eyes._

_As he focused onto the window to Ako's room, he watched distantly as his father sat his new baby brother into her arms. The man smiled so lovingly, patting the baby's head and kissing Ako repeatedly with candy promises. THEY were a family. One that didn't need the likes of a forgotten demon child. 'I am unwanted.' Pinching his brows together, the youkai wiped away a few tears in regret. He had been replaced in his father's heart, forever the outcast now. _

_Now... He was just the REAL family's burden._

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_ Five years later _

_Sesshomaru leapt onto a nearby rock, kicking the smaller pebbles down to the ground. His eyes starred off into a distance only he could see, lapsing him for hours into endless thoughts if it hadn't been for a small little hand shaking him repeatedly from the trance. "Sesshomaru-chan, will you come push me on the swing?" Inuyasha beamed a bright smile, a hopeful light filling his face._

_The demon only snapped a cold acidic glance on the other, pushing the five year old off the rock in one fluent shove. "Like hell I will. Go get you're daddy to play with you, just don't touch me half breed."_

_Inuyasha stumbled, pouting out his lip in protest, "But papa said you had to play with me today. You don't want me to tell on you again cus he said you wouldn't like it if you disobeyed." Again, the elder brother scowled with disgust, pouncing down in front of the smaller hanyou intimidating._

_Holding one hand up to his sibling's face, the demon boy instantly forced his claws to sprout into a much longer threat. "You won't have a mouth to speak with when I'm done with you. If it wasn't for your papa, I'd skinned you alive already so LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sesshomaru swiped at the squealing other, hitting him down to the ground with scraps running up his arm. "GET OUT OF HERE!" Sesshomaru kicked at the retreating hanyou, watching with mixed emotions as Inuyasha whimpered and disappeared into the castle._

_Taking in a much needed calming breath, the youkai retracted his blood coated nails, wiping the red on the grass. He was going to scrub for hours to get the smell off, and he probably had only five minutes to make himself scarce. Inu-sama wouldn't be too happy about this fight, and Sesshomaru's butt wasn't going to survive another spanking for the day._

_Springing up to one of the trees, Sesshomaru hurriedly departed from the garden, running blindly in any direction so long as it was far away from here. He was fast, but again his mind had drifted to another place as he ran. There was no logical route the demon was taking, no destination in mind as he picked up the pace and forced his legs to pump faster into the untamed wilderness. Perhaps he could get so lost no one would be able to find him, or he to find himself._

_There was really no life left back in that garden, no memories worth salvaging. Sesshomaru was just a nuisance, quickly discovering lurking in the shadows and background his most favorable place in that hell hole. Why Inu-sama kept him around was a mystery unto itself. Perhaps he felt pressured too, guilty even for the forgotten child's loses. Or perhaps he just required a babysitter for his favorite half breed son, despite if Sesshomaru beat the living snot out of the kid until he resembled a bloody pulp every single day._

'_Why couldn't he just let me die back then! I hate them all, I hate living! I hate Inuyasha!' The apple of Inu-sama's eye hounded him each and every day. Inuyasha always received special treatment, pampered and loved, with all the things that forced Sesshomaru to grind his teeth together for. It was so hard to continuously turn a blind eye, to creep into a room unnoticed like a shadow while they all laughed and made merry, over looking one grey figure watching in loneliness._

_'I'm just a ghost.' Sesshomaru tortured, covering greater distance, going faster and faster until his lungs threatened to explode. The burning tears spilled down his face, falling away in streams as the youkai began to stumble from over exertion. His energy was being depleted, all muscles coiled in rebellion to move._

_'Mother didn't want me. Father doesn't want me. I'm a nobody, a nothing.' The demon fell face first into the forest ground, dirt smeared over his clothes and face as he spat out the mud from trembling lips. Sesshomaru slowly sat up, resting his head in both hands, "I hate myself." 'I'm useless. I can't do anything right. Father won't even look at me anymore unless I do something wrong. He doesn't even like to touch me.'_

_A scream pierced the air, though the demon boy ignored it, thinking it his own inward voice, 'I'm a failure.' Sesshomaru berated, cutting his own self esteem down further. The sound came again as he sniffled and whimpered, 'A complete waste of space.' The screams were coming closer, followed by the tiny pound of feet running clumsily through the woods._

_"I'd be better off dead." More tears tumbled down his cheeks, washing away the dirt until a roar broke his guilty thoughts. "Wha..?" Lifting his attention to just ahead, Sesshomaru squinted at the slight figure of a wolf demon towering over its prey._

_"I finally got you my little tasty morsel." The creature snarled in amusement, drawing closer to the helpless creature. Sesshomaru rubbed his nose, trying to wipe away the traces of his break down from sight. His puffy eyes pushed through the trees, his nose flared at the stink of a hungry demon and its next meal... A human. The youkai hissed at the familiar smell of a mortal, despising them all for his troubles._

_They were the cause of his pain, a thorn in his side, a curse on the earth. Let that wolf have his delights, it was nothing Sesshomaru cared for. In fact, he was slightly disappointed it wasn't Ako or Inuyasha about to get devoured. This scent was different though, sweeter, purer. It had to belong to that of a small child lost out in the woods for God only knew why. "Pathetic creatures." Sesshomaru growled, standing to take his leave of what would soon be filled with blood shed._

_The girl yelled out for any willing ear to save her, begging the canine to spare her life, "P-p-please, I don't wanna die." She whimpered between sobs, shielding her face so not to smell the demon's foul breath or see his horrendous red stained fangs. That only caused the wolf to smirk even wider at her powerless form. _

_Sesshomaru slowed his departing steps, listening to the way the girl continued to plead futily. She sounded so helpless, so alone... Just like him. A foreign aura snaked its way from the girls body, shinning in a dull pink glow as she dabbed away her tears of fear. The predatory demon licked the dripping saliva from his chin, coming closer to spray her with his hot breath, "A miko, I will love to devour such an innocent piece of flesh."_

_Spinning on his heals; Sesshomaru stared back at the grotesque scene, bearing his fangs at the gull of that monster. 'An innocent? He dare harm an innocent!' It was creatures like that thing that made problems bigger. They harmed those that had nothing but happiness to give, they destroyed the spirits of those that could make all the suffering stop completely. Sesshomaru's mother was one of those people, and be damned if he was going to allow another fall under the same fait for doing nothing but living to spread that happiness._

_Bursting forth from the brush, the tiny youkai wedged himself between the towering giant and frightened girl. He gave a sideward glance over his shoulder, sweeping his attention to be sure she was unharmed by that monster. "Get away from her." The youkai spat at the lumbering creature, hunching slightly, ready to defend himself if need be. _

_The carnivorous wolf bellowed at the petite dog demon defying him, disrupting his anticipated snack, "You won't to be eaten too runt?"_

_Sesshomaru lengthened his fangs, wheezing as he breathed, "I give you for warning now to leave." Flicking his fingers, the claws swiped out in deadly promises, much like a switch blade. The girl coward once the wolf continued to laugh in both their faces, holding his rolling stomach. "Than bring it little bit. I have room for the both of you to digest."_

_The wolf lunged forward, maw open to it's full capacity, revealing the endless void of his mouth. It's tongue flopped to the side, making room for the children he had in mind to devour in one swallow. Instead, he fell to the ground, receiving only grass and mud to fill his puffing cheeks. It spat out the tasteless ground, foaming at the mouth in search of the once present children._

_Sesshmaru held the tiny girl in his arms, perched effortlessly on a tree limb, scowling down at the monster below. The little boy sat her carefully on the branch, casting a reassuring smile to steady the girls hyper ventilating, "It's okay, just stay here while I take care of that hairy terd." The human didn't respond, only nodding her head in understanding and clinging to the tree like her life depended on it... which it did unless she could survive a twenty foot drop._

_She wasn't sure how that boy had jumped so high, so quickly, but she was thankful he was there to save her. Sesshomaru returned to the ground, popping his fingers for use. "Now," he began, rotating his shoulders in response to battle, "Where were we?" A smirk fell onto the demon boy's lips, tugging until the wolf began to reconsider this battle. "You're just a kid." The demon shrieked, pointing an accusing finger in the direction of Sesshomaru._

_"Just a helpless human..." Sesshomaru closed the distance separating them in one blinding sprint, swiping a poisoned claw into the neck of his opponent. "Don't you ever mistake me for one of them. EVER!" _

_The brute clenched a hand to his dripping wound, eyes narrowing on the one that had struck him effortlessly. "You're... A demon." It stumbled back, slowing due to the toxins constricting his body, eating away into his muscle functions until he fell to his knees. "Does it hurt, mutt?" Sesshomaru asked, knowing good and well that the amount he had unleashed into that beast was enough to kill at least fifty humans if not an over grown mongrel._

_"It's amazing isn't it? The way a small demon like me can easily take down a worthless parasite like you. That's the problem with most people I guess, they just never take into consideration the punch a little guy can have." Sesshomaru stepped closer, noticing the terror laced into the retracting demon's watering eyes, "But your not gonna live to learn from your mistake."_

_Pulling back his claws, Sesshomaru sneered sinisterly to dispose of trash like this... until the girl hollered from her spot to stop. Both demons turned to observe her reason's for halting the execution, the middle aged wolf more than happy for the stale. The girl tried to slide down the trunk, her dress ripping on the rough texture until she held the appearance of a homeless orphan. Springing forward, she took Sesshomaru's arm, tears on the verge of falling. "Don't kill him. You don't have too, he can't even stand anymowe(anymore)."_

_At first, the boy swirled around to scold her, "What do you mean don't kill him? He's trying to EAT us!" Her sobs transformed into hiccups, staring up at her shinning hero with those doe eyes. "He..." Sesshomaru began, finding his arm had already relaxed and he had no further argument left when those peaceful grey orbs stared so sweetly into his soul. The wolf finally collapsed in a coma state, twitching due to the poison spreading through his system._

_Her aura... It calmed the anger, the ferocious thing that could launch Sesshomaru into attacking his own father if it became to fueled. She ebbed the brewing storm inside, forcing the violent boy into compliancy, to bow his head like a naughty puppy. She took his hand, working her fingers around the retracting claws until he tilted his head curiously. Why did she feel the need to touch him, when he had never known such contact in five long years? Was this her thanks? Her appreciation for selflessly rescuing that which needed it?_

_Sesshomaru began to flinch away, but her warm smile... it kept all fleeting thoughts at bay. Squeezing his hold, the demon child scanned her face for signs of scrutiny, a trace of deceit, only to sigh once discovering that this human only held love and compassion for all. _

_"But, you do know he was going to mercilessly eat you without a second thought if I hadn't come to you're rescue."_

_The girl placed a finger to her chin, rolling her attention towards the unconscious wolf youkai. "I still don't like to see othews(others) get huwt(hurt), it's just not wight(right)."_

_"Going to eat you, finger lickin goodness." Sessh reminded, just making sure this is what she wanted. He could always finish it right here and now with out a moment's hesitation. _

_"Well, since you put it wike(like) that." The girl ran over to the wolf, giving the brute a swift kick in the balls with satisfaction before running back to her hero, a broad smile planted on her kawaii face. "There, that's enough to avenge the attack." 'What unique... logic.' Sesshomaru concluded, having the girl reclaim his hand, trotting along in the forest together in complete bliss._

_It was awkward, the way she never trembled in his presence. Why was she not afraid of him when he had taken down the thing that had once frightened her so badly? "Thank you fow(for) saving me, I was so scawed(scared). You'w(you'r) weally(really) nice, you know that?" The girl skipped in place, forcing Sesshomaru to snarl at the comment._

_"I am NOT nice." He jerked his hand out of hers, turning his head away from her. "I'm very mean, so if you wan't to continue to live than I suggest you run away very quickly."_

_"Huh?" She was confused, scratching her head in that cute fashion that caused the youkai to tremble inside. "I think you said something not nice, but I don't know. I'm only fouw(four)."_

_Sesshomaru grumbled hotly, sniffing into the air to discover that a lake was close by, thankful he may finally wash up. He hated to be dirty for too long, it was just a bother and unprofessional. Ignoring the girl's constant babble's, the demon boy carried on like she wasn't even there. That is, until she gasped at the beauty surrounding the lake. "It's so pwettyful(prettyful). Do you live hewe(here)?"_

_The youkai snapped a disapproving eye to her, stripping his shirt off to clean, "Why would I live on a lake? Do I look like a freakin fish to you?"_

_"You look...um..." The girl stood in thought, giggling at his naked chest and uncurling tail, "Oh, you look so fwuffy(fluffy)." She ran up to pet his long tail, but was immediately pushed aside, landing on the bank of the lake. Sesshomaru curled his upper lip, growling like a rabid dog towards her name calling. "Don't call me fluffy! I hate it!" He threw his shirt near the water, slicing down a nearby tree in his fury._

_The girl instantly scrambled away before the trunk fell, jumping further into the water as it came crashing down. "I'm sowwy(sorry)." She whispered, head tilted downward to appease him. The way she just stood there, apologizing for something she couldn't help, Sesshomaru was unable to not feel guilty for terrifying her like that. 'Need to get control of my temper. What's the point of saving someone if you go and kill them later?'_

_Clutching his head in one hand, Sesshomaru sighed to himself, wading out into the water to begin cleaning. "Don't say anything, I'm just being an ass hole." He grumbled, biting his tongue when he cursed in front of a small child. "I mean, I'm just being a jerk."_

_The girl smiled broadly, instantly forgiving him like any ignorant youth would to a wandering stranger. "It's okay, you had a bad day." 'Is it that obvious?' She stepped out of the water, soaked to the bone from trying to dodge his attack. 'Great.' The demon mumble._

_"My name's Kagome, what's youw's(yours)?" For a moment, Sesshomaru just stared right through her. Why did she wan't to know? He was a youkai. Humans and his kind never cared for one another's names, only shouting 'demon' from a distance, along with other colorful words that pretty much fit the bill. "I..." He paused, forcing his focus on the dirt washing away into a dirt cloud in the water. "You... can call me what ever you like." It's not like she could pronounce Sesshomaru anyways at this age._

_"Can I caww(call) you the f wowd(word)?"_

_"F word!" the demon automatically began to think she meant the mother of all bad words, but he quickly realized what she truly meant. Nodding with a soft smile, the demon spoke while scrubbing deep down in his claws, "Yeah, what ever."_

_She squealed in joy, singing his new name out like it was the greatest thing in the world, "Fwuffy(Fluffy). Fwuffy(Fluffy). Fwuffy(Fluffy). Fwuffy(Fluffy)." Sesshomaru just shook his head, questioning why he was being so lenient... to a human no less._

_Once he was clean as a whistle, the youkai boy draped his dry shirt over Kagome's shoulders, noticing the late hour and chill she was catching from still being wet. "That better?" He asked, hopeful for her warm smile. And like he expected, she handed that sweet expression out willingly like a priceless treasure. "So wawm(warm). Thank you Fwuffy(Fluffy)." _

_A tingle in his stomach lifted into his chest, giving a queasy, bubbly feeling to possess his features. Sesshomaru felt toasty inside, cheerful even, just like how he did when he was little... once upon a time. The youkai pulled the girl under his arm, taking a deli quiet sniff of Kagome's unique scent. It was so exhilarating, so calming, everything he ever wanted. She nudged her head into his chin, giggling as her new friend wrapped the other arm around her. _

_That was that. He had decided to keep her, to be his play mate, to stick with him through thick and thin._

_He swooped Kagome into his arms, carrying her towards his house as the sun dipped behind the trees. "Whewe(where) awe(are) we going?" Kagome hugged his neck, laughing as her fluffy white knight trotted in a leisurely pace away from the lake. Sesshomaru smiled fondly, tickling her further with his tail, "To where I live. It has a really big garden, and a pound where swans swim. You'll like it."_

_"But I have to go to my home. My mommy and daddy awe(are) pwobably(probably) weawwy (really) wowwied(worried) about me." Immediately, Sesshomaru snapped a stern glare onto Kagome's form, snarling quietly to her protests. "No. You're coming home with me. I'll take good care of you, you won't even need you'r parents."_

_"I wan't to go see them. I love them." Kagome nearly hollered, squirming in his hold. The youkai clutched her tighter to his chest, locking her in place with a strength that almost frightened the girl about her new found friend. "You'll be better off with me. I can give you anything you wan't, anything. You can stay in my room, where I can pamper you, keep you all to myself. Don't you want to be my friend?"_

_She pouted out her lip, taking on the appearance of a tiny fearful puppy. "Y-yes. But I wan't my family too. Pwease(please) take me to my home. I miss them."_

_Sesshomaru tilted his head to the side, sighing from her jittery little voice. He didn't wan't her to be forlorn, never to see it on her innocent little face. And he surely never wished to be the cause of her sadness. "Do you really wan't me to take you back?" Sesshomaru's voice cracked just a little. _

_Kagome nodded, to the dismay of her youkai friend. 'Of course. I find someone to except me only to lose them.' Dipping his lids solemnly, the boy sniffed her hair to get a scent trail. After several seconds of smelling the air, Sesshomaru took off in the opposite direction towards Kagome's house. _

_He ran very slowly, never wanting to let her go so soon. "Kagome, don't do this. Don't ask this of me." He pleaded, approaching a small cottage near a village. The little girl clutched his shirt tighter around herself, remaining quiet when he sounded so glum. Sesshomaru was fighting his decision, debating on turning back and forcing her to be his pet. She was too helpless to fight back, he could out muscle her easily if she refused. 'But Inu-sama would hear, and make me give her up. I hate Inu-sama so much!'_

_The lights in the cottage were dim, with shadows of the one's that dwelt in it to play across the drawn curtains every now and then. Sesshomaru held Kagome in his embrace just a little while longer, nuzzling into her hair for the heat and scent. So sweet, he could never forget it's potency, it's lure. How did she do this to him? How were his violent tendencies, his primitive instincts subdued when ever she was present? _

_Not able to grasp any answer at such a young age, Sesshomaru's eyes misted with grief, the demon hesitantly relaxing his arms, expectant to have his cargo desert him in the icy night. To pull away and never look back._

_Instead, Kagome clung to his neck, snuggling into his body happily. "Thank you Fwuffy(Fluffy), I love you."_

_A lump caught in Sesshomaru's throat, his loose arms instantly took a life of their own, holding her firmly to him. "No, don't go Kagome. Please stay with me." The tears began to leak down his face, not ready to release her just yet, not wishing to feel the loneliness close in again. "You don't know how much I need you, to be with you. Don't leave me."_

_The door flung open at the sound of children outside, a thin woman with puffy red eyes wailed on spotting her lost daughter. "Kagome! I thought we lost you, I thought the worst had happened." She went forward, only two steps to reclaim the girl, until the red glow in Sesshomaru's eyes warded her off. His fangs bared menacingly, wanting no one to have this girl but him. The possessive instincts of his blood kicked in with deadly force, demanding he take what was rightfully his with out permission. _

_He was a dog demon, a pure blood that knew too well how protective one could be when it came to a thing it called it's own. The burn of demand feverishly coursed in the demon's veins, heating till red crushed all other color, destroyed any other thought but possessing HIS Kagome. Sesshomaru began to back away with the girl still hugging him, taking her back into the darkness with him. Mr. Higuroshi came beside his wife, followed by the grandfather, all staring daggers into the creature that still held their daughter in it's clutches._

_"Kagome... let her go demon!"_

_Sesshomaru hissed at them, spatting out the one word that froze the adults heartbeats, "Mine."_

_His face was savage, wet from shed tears only moments ago. He tried to keep a hold on Kagome, to carry her far away where these undeserving people would never find her. "Fwuffy(Fluffy)? Those awe(are) my mommy and daddy." Why must she speak so softly?_

_Her voice... It was so cheerful, beautiful. A sirens song to enchant the beast inside. Calming the demon's savageness, the rage inside fizzled away when he broke his grip to see those brilliant eyes. The girl's aura spoke of sweet nothings, while Sesshomaru's thoughts knew if he let go she would leave... with only the illusion of a redeeming angel to haunt his dreams. "Kagome... "_

_Mr. Higuroshi lunged forward as Sesshomaru assured Kagome all was right, ripping his only child from the like's of the demon once the boys focus was directed on his daughter. The man kicked at the demon child, missing his head only by mere inches. "Stay away from her." Higurashi commanded, hugging Kagome to himself and away from the on looking youkai. _

_"No." Sesshomaru whimpered, reaching out only to receive the grandfather to swat him away with a wooden cane. Sesshomaru took the hits, trying to find her again, pushing forward to see her one last time. To hold his friend, to know she wasn't just a delusion._

_"Please don't take her away from me." _

_The grandfather withdrew his hidden spells of demon repelling, throwing them on the house to make sure the little youkai could never enter the homestead. The human's slammed the door shut, locking the boy outside to wildly pound on the door. "Kagome! Kagome!" Sesshomaru was unable to penetrate the barrier, not at this young age anyways, shocking himself every time his flesh made contact with the door. _

_Panting out his frustration, he thus circled around to the windows. It appeared the spell engulfed the entire foundation, locking the unwanted monster out to only scream her name._

_He heard her inside, trying to see him again. A hope that was quickly dashed rose in his chest, praying the family let him in to be with her... His Kagome. But they never moved, huddling inside, willing him to leave them alone._

_Sesshomaru came back to the front door, pounding with all his might to break through. He scratched and clawed until red laced his vision. They had no right to do this. He saved her, he deserved her. The barrier began to fail, but Sesshomaru was too overcome with desperation to notice. Sliding down the door, though the pain of it's shock burned the exposed flesh, the youkai cried at their doorstep, begging them to let him see her. _

_"Kagome..." Sesshomaru howled into the air, lost and lonely. Eventually, the youkai gathered his bloody self, holding his raw hands close to his chest, making the long trudge to Inu-sama's house. If he had just kept fighting, the shield would have broke then as it fell to pieces when he disappeared into the forest._


	14. My secrets: Part three

**Vixon: HORRAY! More flash back, if you'r not already sick of it. Don't worry, just this and one more will end the flash back story and then it's on to whats really important... what happened in the war and who killed Inuyasha. More tear jerking, more laughs, just have to read and find out what happens next.**

**Ch 14 _"My secrets" Part three"_**

_It appeared that the family moved when ever Sesshomaru was clumsy and careless, allowing them to see him with their daughter. They had kept spreading the distance, moving from one village to another just to keep them separate, yet the youkai still managed to find them._

_The journey to see Kagome was becoming longer and harder, but Sesshomaru was diligent. He was determined to be with his one and only friend. Inu-sama never seemed to mind when his eldest son disappeared for a few days, knowing the tough little fuzz ball was made of sterner stuff. For a tiny pup, it was safe to say that Sessh could hold his own. _

_But it appeared that being with Kagome wasn't an easy task either. He could never make himself known to any but her, or else, the threat of her moving again was always a possibility. And tracking wasn't an easy task nor very fun._

_**Four years later** _

_An eight year old Kagome laughed openly into the air. Now, in her new village, she had two friends that cherished each other dearly. Both under the names of Miroku, the naughty boy down the street, and Sango, the tom boy that kept the naughty boy out of too much mischief. _

_These children were together like glue every single day, a blessing for those damn parents that whisked Kagome away when ever they caught a rumor of villagers spotting a nearby demon._

_Sesshomaru, age 14, stood behind a large oak, eyeing the way Kagome played blind man's bluff with the other village children. He was so tempted to jump out and join them, a tiny place in his heart yearned for companionship, much like any other living creature. The youkai clasped a hand to his heart, setting the side of his forehead against a tree as he observed the game. His brows fell sadly in the segregation he was destined to live, forcing him to bite his lip with grief to know he was forever an outcast to their world and in their eyes._

_It was so lonely to watch, longing for the impossible. For a minute, Sesshomaru wished he was human. Then no one would scream when they saw him, if they even acknowledge his existence. No one would throw rocks and garbage at him, no one would object to him being with Kagome. They could be together, and he could have her all to himself._

_Kagome squealed when she became tagged, Miroku placed a bandana over her eyes as the other neighbor children chuckled merrily to the fun loving girl. "I'm gonna get you guys." Kagome smiled brightly to the many voices, all dodging her reach by only inches._

_'Kagome... ' Sesshomaru bowed his head with a sigh, watching her so closely he felt it would burn holes in her. After a few more minutes, the children became bored of this game and immediately suggested hide-and-seek. A small grin spread to Sesshomaru's lips, the promise that Kagome might hide alone and he could finally re-introduce himself into her life._

_Some of the older children took off for teen activities, giving the excuses they were too pooped to play, while only one suspicious boy stayed behind to be the one seeking. The tall teen began his count, with the tiny bodies dashing to places seeking camouflage. Kagome sprinted deep into the forest, though she knew her parents would tan her hide if they found out. 'But I can't just hide out in the open, Onigumo will find me in no time.' The girl found simple logic to this, jumping over rocks until she came to a satisfying bushel of bushes._

_Clasping both hands to her mouth, Kagome tried so hard to keep the chuckles out of hearing range. This was an ingenious place to seek sanctuary, but her noises would most defiantly collect attention. A rustle was heard, the girl freezing instantly at the sound. "Who's there?" She whispered, hoping it was another kid trying to remain hidden._

_The rustling came again, closer this time. Planting both hands over her eyes, Kagome tried to push back into the foliage, to not be found if that thing out there wasn't human. Yes, she knew such monster's existed, and they terrified her to death at the destruction they wielded. She only knew of one that was not like the rest, but he had long ago left her. Her shining hero seeked else where for adventures and maidens to rescue. Chances fell that he wouldn't be able to save her twice._

_A hand pulled Kagome out of her spinning imagination, forcing a yelp to escape. Another hand quickly fell over her mouth, with the voice of Onigumo trying to sooth her, "It's okay little girl, I don't bite." Sniffling from the fright, Kagome pulled away with a Cheshire grin. "Onigumo, you shouldn't have scared me like that. I thought you were a demon."_

_The boy remained quiet, surveying the area for any living thing. He eventually allowed his focus to fall back on the slightly ruffled girl, a sinister smirk lacing his features. "Are you afraid of demon's?"_

_"A-a little."_

_The teen boy stroked his hand up her leg, eyes blazing. "O-Onigumo, what is it? Is something wrong?" Kagome was shaky, withdrawing from the advancement the elder made. "No, nothing's wrong here. We just have to be really quiet."_

_"Quiet? Why?" She looked around, searching for the threat he must be speaking about._

_The boy gave a dark chuckle under his breath, pushing Kagome down to the ground, "Don't make a sound." He ordered, placing all his weight on top of her. "What are you doing...?" Her voice became muffled and lost when Onigumo crushed her lips with his, forcing her legs open with one hand as he stroked her face with the other._

_Kagome thrashed around, pushing and heaving for the breath he was stealing. She wanted to scream, to fight, to run all at the same time, but the teenager held her pinned helplessly to the ground, out in the forest alone. Tears began to crawl down her face, stinging and blurring her vision while the boy tried to jab his hand up her dress. Why didn't anyone try to help? Where was her hero, the one that always saved her? _

_A warmth began to build inside her body, clawing it's way to the surface. It heated the air, the beginnings of her miko powers went wild to singe the attacker, yet he was already flying away, his weight no longer crushing the desperate child underneath._

_It was like Onigumo was their one minute, sucking the life out of her, and vanished the next. Heaving for air, Kagome rolled onto her stomach, gasping through her swollen lips. Clenching both lids tightly shut, the girl wanted to make a formidable attempt to run, but her legs refused to work. All's Kagome was capable of was to shrivel into a fetal position, to afraid to move. 'If I move, he'll find me. If I run, he'll catch me.' _

_A struggle was clear by the noises around her, Onigumo at first was shocked when he had been caught, swinging wildly at the one that had yanked him from his spot. "Man, I didn't do nothing." His face was blank, still pumped with the hormones that had driven him to the mind of rapping an eight year old girl._

_His gaze began to travel up the one that dodged the attack, horrified to see another boy his age staring disgustedly down at him. Onigumo stumbled back, sweat drenching his brow on the recognition of an honest to God demon. It was perfectly obvious with the long silver hair and markings. Not to mention the tail and inhuman strength used to throw him away from his desire._

_"G-g-get away from me." Onigumo took another step back, nearly falling over his victim. Sesshomaru swept up to him in blinding speeds, a blur to only a petifile human. "You disgust me." Sesshomaru took the youth by his collar, flinging him head long into a near by tree._

_The sickening thud echoed, forcing Kagome to hunch up even more at the sound of cracking bones. The forest became hushed, with only her whimpers to filter into the youkai's ears. Bending down to one knee, he slowly placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, calming her with lulling sounds. Kagome at first pulled away, afraid it was Onigumo trying to force himself on her again. But the voice was no where like her attacker. It was humbling, sweet. She knew that sound, this person._

_"It's okay Kagome, he won't hurt you ever again."_

_When she began to look up, the only thing she could make out of her hero was the shimmering white hair and glowing amber eyes. Her tears had blurred all she saw, distorting it before she could banish the fogginess away. He faintly gave a smile, only to lose it when the voices of others approached. 'Damn it.' He thought, sprinting to his feet post haste._

_He couldn't allow them to see him, to know he existed or else lose Kagome to the unquenched fears of her parents. A middle aged woman, Kaede, came to the girl's side, bow in hand. "Child, are you alright? Where is the demon?" Kaede settled down next to the shaken girl, with Kagome to search herself for her fleet footed savior. _

_"I... I don't know. He and Onigumo..." A group of village men broke from the tree's, studying the tracks and traces of struggle. "What? What happened?" Kaede pressed, interrupted by the gasp of a few men._

_"He's d-dead." The man squatted next to Onigumo's body, pools of blood dripped around the boys broken neck and upon the tree he had collided with. Kagome batted her eyes in a daze, trying to keep her lip from trembling. Flinging her arms around the elder, the girl sobbed into the woman's clothes, "Onigumo was going to... he just wouldn't stop touching me. I was so afraid."_

_Kaede's expression was far from how she felt, it not suppressing her in the least. Onigumo always was an odd one, sick in the head and very twitchy. It was nothing new to this old woman to hear. And it surely wasn't shocking if a demon was involved, the evidence of a crafty one in particular was found continuously around the village. Carefully stroking the girls back, she nodded for the men to take the body back into town before Kagome caught sight. "There, there young one. It is all past now."_

_"He just wanted to save me."_

_"Who dear?"_

_Kagome pulled her head up to stare into Kaede's face, smiling through the trauma, "Fluffy."_

_It took a lot of arguing, but Kagome had refused to move again, despite what her parents said. She was sick of having to relocate whenever something strange happened. It was miserable to start over, to make new friends when she loved the one's she had. So, after that was made clear, they stayed, ignoring the fear of what exactly stalked their little girl._

_And with each changing season, Kagome grew into a beautiful young lady, and Sesshomaru watched from a respectable distance, faintly satisfied to watch her become the young woman he imagined her to be. It was very difficult to stand on the outside looking in. Many times he had nearly lost himself, hesitating on the forest edge to fall after her. But he couldn't risk that, he had to stay in the shadows, protecting her from afar._

_Sesshomaru even went to the task of chasing away a lot of eager suitors. When ever a boy became too close, that is when it was high time to let the male know she was spoken for. Whether it took only a few simple exchange of words or having to beat the bloody hell out of them, they got the message loud and clear. Miroku, you might say, was an exception. Kagome would never in a million years bare his children, like he seemed to ask every woman. This caused the youkai to roll his eyes with a smile, questioning the teenagers mental capacity. It seemed the monk-in-training thought more with his OTHER head most of the time._

_Kagome was now 14, filling out in all her curves. Sesshomaru salivated sometimes, picturing himself next to her, hand in hand, ring on her finger. The fantasies he could indulge in... oh heavens help him. _

_The day was fair and beautiful, spring taking full advantage of it's head start on the season's. It was almost Kagome's birthday, the youkai rotating his present to her in both hands, nervous and unsure._

_He did this every year, awaiting an opportunity to hand it to her in person, but disappointed when a gaggle of friends and family practically swallowed her in their ever growing circle. _

_She was coming his way, walking down the road, basket in hand... alone. It was his chance, the one and only he felt. Sesshomaru squared his shoulders, biting down the doubt that roused inside. _

_Stretching his foot out to exit the forest, his approach became hindered when Kagome's mother called from the kitchen window, Informing her daughter to pick some cough medicine up for her little brother. "Okay mom, I'll be back soon."_

_Sesshomaru hesitated, watching until the mother dipped her head back into the house. Kagome passed him just now, without even realizing it. Her miko's powers were obviously never used much if she couldn't even feel his presence. He wasn't a weak demon either, in fact, over the course of six years, he had become quiet formidable. Inu-sama couldn't force him to do jack any more, with a defiant son that preferred to run away from his home more than anything._

_The youkai inhaled the air, freezing his movements to keep her from doing a double take. Her scent... Kagome's smell. He had nearly forgotten it's lure over him, the purity it held. Sesshomaru dropped the elegant gift in his moment of awkwardness, cursing himself when the noise of it landing caught both their attentions. 'That better not have broke!'_

_Kagome spun her head around to the place she had passed, eyes narrowed where Sesshmaru once was. Slowly walking back, the teenager poked her head into the forest, scanning the surrounding area for any sign of life. 'Am I hearing things again?' She pondered over such things a lot, never quiet sure if she was alone or not. _

_Her sights soon fell on the finely decorated box toppled over next to a rock, her eyes lighting up at the intricate designs lacing around it's masterfully carved exterior. Kagome swooped it up into her clutch, turning it over in awe. It must have been really expensive, so why was it just lying here forgotten?_

_"This is so beautiful." Kagome mused, cradling it close to her breast. A jingle came from the inside, with a curious girl left to quench that thirst of discovery. Opening it up, a smile brightly graced her pink lips, Kagome removing the purple prayer beads from inside. 'Oh, it must be my birthday present... from...' She looked around, knowing her parents could never afford such majesties. 'The forest spirit, my guardian hero.'_

_That is what she called him, for she hardly ever received a satisfying look at the shadowy figure. All's she ever heard were his moving sounds like just now, or find little presents for her to cherish. Though she didn't know him, she thanked him every night for protecting her, even if she never knew why. Kaede said it was because she had a power, one she should be harnessing, that drew the supernatural to her. But Kagome believed in much more._

_'If only the village boys thought I was so special.' Kagome brought the beads up to her mouth, kissing it before returning them to the jewelry box, "Thank you." She spoke gratefully, carrying on down the road with a skip, singing merrily to herself as she went._

_High in the branches sat Sesshomaru. He had been only a breath away. If Kagome had looked to seek answers in the heavens, she no doubt would have spotted him easily. Grinning from ear to ear, the youkai blew out a love sick sigh, "You're welcome." He whispered._

_Kagome's birthday was not a happy one, sad to say. Souta's conditions was worsening, his breathing labored, his completion pasty and nearly transparent. Mrs. Higurashi paced the cottage continuously, awaiting for the town miko to exit and give her diagnosis. Mr. Higurashi chopped wood outside to keep his focus, refusing to dwell upon the inevitable news. It was just too depressing to sit in that house, helplessly worrying._

_Kagome stood in the door frame leading to Souta's room, biting her nails as Kaede and the town physician finished their inspections. The adults shook their heads, not reassuring the teen in the least. "Well?" The girl inquired, her voice full of dread._

_The miko placed a hand onto Kagome's shoulder, a long glance into the woman's eye told her the conclusion. The doctor left also, to spread the news to the other family members. Bursting into tears, Kagome ran to her brothers side, collapsing next to the edge of his bed. "Souta, I'm so sorry. I should have paid more attention when you started to look ill. I should have helped you when you told me the cough medicine wasn't working."_

_She felt all the guilt, picking on her sibling like any elder would when he whimpered about her teasing. Souta fell into a hard rasp, smiling the best he could to his saddened sister, "Don't look like that sister, it's not so bad." The last word was trailed by an endless chorus of coughing, thick and increasing in veracity._

_Squeezing his hand once he gained control of his body, Kagome bite back her tears, brushing away those that had fallen. "But I shouldn't have made fun of you."_

_"How could you know it would get this bad?" He stayed so calm, though the fear shown so brightly in his fading eyes._

_"Sister?" Souta began, losing the color that made him alive, "Am I gonna die?" _

_Kagome couldn't answer, the mistiness clogging any response. That was all the boy needed, her silence telling him the truth behind the adults murmurs. Souta leaned back on his pillow, sniffles accumulating from his clogged nose. "I don't want to die." He whimpered, turning away so she didn't have to see his own shy fears._

_His sister stroked some wet strands of hair from his brow, wiping away one of his water trails for comfort. "Don't worry, I won't let you." Mr. Hojo (I don't know what Hojo's fathers' last name is.) was heard down the hall, breaking the news to Mrs. Higurashi. Their mothers wails rang through the house, sending Souta to shiver from fever and sorrow._

_"I'm sorry, but he's too far gone for my medicines alone. This is a sickness that strikes most children, but never is it this severe. Has he always been a little ill?"_

_"Yes. He never was a healthy baby, and certainly wasn't as active as other children. But we never thought..." Mr. Higurashi took his wife into his arms as her groans refused to cease. Mr. Hojo nodded at this information, turning towards Kaede. "I am aware that his immune system seems lower than normal. There is a herb used to break fevers and replenish what is lost in the body, called the Miracle Root, but it is extremely rare and found in the north."_

_The Higurashi family held their breaths, hope smothering their faces. "But..." Hojo continued, forlornly glancing out the window, unable to stare the parents in the eye, "It is a far journey, one that would take me many days on horse to travel. I doubt I would make it in time... and the price alone would be more than what any of us in this village can make in a lifetime."_

_Disappointment fell heavily, Kagome biting her lip as Hojo and Kaede gave their apologies and sympathies. Souta wheezed, dipping his lids shut over his eyes as Hojo informed his parents to make "arrangements"._

_"I had a good life Kagome." The weakened boy confessed, in his short eight year old deduction. Kagome snapped her gaze onto his closed and lifeless looking appearance, growling at him already giving up on himself. "No! You're not dieing."_

_"You heard them, I wont even be alive to see your' birthday." His voice broke, with the child to lean up coughing into his free hand. It was difficult for him to sit up, no less force the sickness that plagued him to ease again. "Just..." cough, "give me a lot of flowers..." cough cough, ".. for my grave."_

_Once he opened his hand, his sister gasped to find the palm covered in mucus and blood. Souta turned to her, eyes watering from his discovery. "Don't forget the flowers... okay?" His voice quivered, but he still attempted to be brave._

_Kagome nearly nodded at the boys last request, quickly stiffening her jaw once sense found her. "No! Like I said before, you're not gonna die, I swear it."_

_Leaping from her spot, the girl took up the jewelry box, exiting the cottage to catch up with the departing adults. Huffing into the air, Kagome caught Hojo's sleeve, panting for breath. "I," she began, extending the finely decorated box, "I want you to sell this for the medicine money."_

_Kaede brought a hand to her mouth, astonished at the expensive object, "My Lord, where did you get such a thing?"_

_"T-the forest spirit." Kagome admitted in a whisper, focus falling to her feet as she bowed to Hojo. "Please sir, take this for my brothers sake."_

_He only slowly rotated the box, flabbergasted. "Kagome, I know this must mean a lot to you."_

_"My brother mean's more than some stupid object!"_

_He turned to Kaede, concern evident on his face. "Even if I did get the herb, I'm afraid that I wouldn't make it in time."_

_"B-but..."_

_"He is right Kagome. It is a noble thing to do, but still the truth remains. Souta will not even last to tomorrow night."_

_The teen slouched her shoulders, shaking all over by their negativity. They had no idea, none of them knew the boys spirit if you just gave him hope. So long as there was that kindling to brighten the boys deflating hope, he could hold on. "I have... to at least try. For Souta." Hojo nodded his head after Kagome urged, opening the box to pull out the prayer beads, "Here child, perhaps you could use these instead of selling them." The physician tucked the jewelry box under his arm and headed home to saddle his mare._

_Kaede stepped to Kagome's side, taking her up in a reassuring hug. "It is always difficult to let go."_

_"I know, but it's even harder to sit back helplessly." _

_Sesshomaru stood on a nearby branch, watching as his present to her was exchanged for the hope of saving a fading life. His expression wasn't too condemning, she was thinking only of her loved one, an act he too had once played a led role in at one time. But the ornate item had been so painstaking to craft, such a lovely gift that she hardly had time to love. But at least she kept the one part that made a difference._

_His smile began to lift, urging the girl to at least try the beaded necklace on. Yes, he felt dirty for the plan he had concocted, the sinister selfishness in this deed. Sesshomaru had scowered the land for that special something, the ultimate gift that would inevitably tie them together at long last. Those were no ordinary prayer beads, not the one's to purely PRAY upon that is. Those were fashioned for a far more dastardly purpose, a corrupt deed that made him feel slightly guilty if it wasn't for the promise of a mate in the end._

_It was foretold that once the gift was securely around a person's neck, they instantly fell under the command of the one who had originally bestowed it. With just one word, Sesshomaru could have Kagome under his undying spell. He had already chosen what the condemning word would be, perfect for the girl he wished to claim his own, the possession soon to be his for all time. _

_'Heel.' Instantly sending her to stand next to his side without argument. She would not be able to break this enchantment, never to remove his curse upon her. Only Sesshomaru held the power to do that._

_The youkai chuckled soundly, nearly calling attention to himself by the departing miko. Oh, how he had eluded her wrinkled ass for years, not to get caught now by one damn snicker. Stifling the excited noise, Sesshomaru thus began to watch longingly as Kagome headed back to her brothers side in a zombie-like state. 'But...' He strangely announced, drawing a long pause to his thoughts as he watched the girl depart slow and sad, 'I would have to wait.' _

_Kagome was sure to despise him if he ripped her away during her brothers frail state. 'And that man said he was bound to die by the next moon.'_

_Furrowing his brows, the demon snapped his sights down the road leading to the north. "Perhaps I will not have to force her by my side after all, when I can easily have her willingly."_

_Sesshomaru ripped his room apart, pulling out drawers, lifting up his mattress, anything to find loose change scattered around the place. He was always hording the earnings he received from Inu-sama in various places, untrusting of his lecherous brother if he should discover the saved cash. _

_Counting what he managed to sniff out on the floor, Sesshomaru placed the coins into a large pouch, whipping out books on herbology. He wanted to know what it was he was looking for and the exact value it held. There really wasn't any reason to get cheated, though it would be so much easier if he just stole what this Miracle Root was._

_Inuyasha leaned on the door frame, arms crossed with a curious smirk, "So that's were you've been hiding it. And you said you had no money."_

_"I say that so you won't beg for it." Sesshomaru hissed, keeping his sights set on the books like he didn't care if his brother stood there or not... which in all actuality he did._

_"Oh, come on. I don't owe you THAT much."_

_The older gave a sideward glare, "Try five hundred. And that's not counting the happy hours."_

_"You kept track of that?"_

_"I have the recites to remind me, idget." Why he lent Inuyasha money was beyond Sesshomaru's comprehension, he knew he would never see a dime of it again. Unless, of course, The youkai just wanted something to hold over the lack wits head for all eternity._

_Inuyasha began to take a step into his older siblings room, forgetful of warnings and easy to read posters hanging on the outside door. A small letter opening dagger whizzed past the hanyou's face, scathing his cheek as he stood there in complete shock. All words were ripped from his mouth, small trickles of blood slithered down Inuyasha's cheek. "What did I tell you about coming in here?" The hanyou took a deep breath, sweat falling in tiny drops by the side of his head his brother had graciously allowed him to keep. "Y-you almost hit me."_

_Sesshomaru cocked a brow, still holding an annoyed appearance, "Well, what did I tell you since the day you were born?"_

_"I'm not welcomed. Okay, I get it, you don't want me messin with your porn stash or something." Inuyasha growled, shoulders hunched angrily._

_The youkai only sneered, placing the books back on his shelves, "Very good, you remembered. If I didn't dislike you so much I'd applaud you. See, if push comes to shove, you can teach a half breed new tricks."_

_"Dad said don't call me that."_

_Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, losing the once triumphant smirk to stare coldly at the other, "You're daddy isn't here now is he?"_

_"He's your dad too." Inuyasha made room for his brother to exit, watching the way the taller youkai halted in his steps, shoulders slightly shaking from rage. Sesshomaru refused to turn around, grinding his teeth, spitting acidic words over his shoulder once he gained enough control to continue walking, "I have no father."_

_Hours later _

_The youkai glanced over his shoulders repeatedly, walking in a slow pace through the woods in a place that felt more like a home to him than anything in the world. The forest was familiar, with smells that never faded but only became reborn each year. He knew it's secrets as diligently as it knew his, and for the moment, it knew his unsurely swelling again. _

_Sesshomaru carried the important herb in his sleeve, fingering the medicine constantly to know it was securely in possession. It felt as though something were watching him, hunting him since he left that morning for the Miracle Root, but he was unsure. The only thing that picked at his mind for the moment would be how to present this expensive offering to the girl that prayed for miracles._

_The demon came to a stop, sniffing the air to locate Kagome through the thick forest. She wasn't far away, only another good twenty feet and she would be visible. 'When will she ever learn to not go into the forest alone?' Had two accounts on her life not taught her anything?_

_Sighing, he knew she would never lose that fearless spirit, the same trait he respected and loved down to his fluffy bones. A smile began to ascend his lips, her scent reassuring the once tormenting worries that plagued his thoughts. 'And when I give her the root, if she doesn't run away in fear of me first, she will have no choice but to marry me. Yes, she will be too grateful to refuse. I'll finally have her all to myself... Mine.'_

_He would have squeed if it had crossed his mind, the youkai indulged in an inner fantasy with him as the respectful groom and her as his lovely bride. Drool began to was down his chin, Sesshomaru becoming giggly at the imaginary world and soon to be future. 'Me so happy.' _

_Kagome was just beyond, her figure taking shape as the demon pushed branches and brush aside to finally exit the concealing forest. He sighed again, a blissful expression taking root over his features. Did she have any idea what she did to one such as he? To a monster that knew only pain and misery it's whole life? Kagome was like a forbidden fruit, one that looked and possibly tasted as exotic as she appeared. Sesshomaru leaned heavily against a tree to steady himself, captivated by her on sage of beauty. The dreamy look hung there, for what he hoped would be permanent._

_To have her finally in his arms felt enetheral, a never waking slumber. Sesshomaru watched protectively as she placed another flower into her basket, sniffling from the hidden motive behind the harmless plucking of life. 'I must get this over with... before it's too late.' Placing one foot out into the expanding field, a twig snapped just behind, and it hadn't been from his advancements._

_Spinning around, Sesshomaru growled once he recognized the clumsy approach of his brother, Inuyasha lifting his foot up with a caught look on his face. "Uh...S-Sesshomaru... I was just..." Inuyasha stumbled over his words, hands behind his back nervously. "You know it's a funny thing to find you here. hehehe." The hanyou never was one to play it smooth, leading his brother to growl menacingly at spoiling the mood._

_"What the hell do you want!" The youkai snapped out, forgetting the girl that most surely heard their quarrel. Backing away, Inuyasha held his hands out to show he was unarmed. "I-I wasn't doing anything. I just wanted to know what it was you did everyday, that's all. Yeeeeesh, bite my head off why don't cha?"_

_"I'll do more than that if you stay here. Go AWAY!"_

_"H-Hello?" Kagome called, a tremble claiming her tone. She stood hesitantly, eyes circling around to locate the one's surrounding her. Sesshomaru stepped back into the foliage, leaves hiding his body from his prey for the moment._

_"You idget, get out of here!" This time, he kept his voice at a commanding whisper, closing the distance to his meddling sibling. Inuyasha retracted from Sesshomaru's anger, knowing that when he gets mad he gets MAD. And that was never a good thing for you're health. The hanyou attempted a weak smile, only to lose it once Sesshomaru yanked him off his feet by his collar._

_"Stop poking that big fat nose into MY business, half breed. I've worked too hard for you to screw me over." The younger gulped, wiggling in the tightening grip of the other. "Hey man, it's not like I'm doing anything to hurt you. What the hell do you do all day anyways?"_

_"Hello?" Kagome's voice came again, clearer this time when no answer found her. The dog ears perked up at the sweet voice, fear pricking the girl's vocal chords when only silence filtered the air. "Oh," Inuyasha smirked, giving his brother a sly expression, "I see what you do. Deflowering helpless maidens?"_

_The youkai swallowed, with the red to linger in his eyes for a brief moment. "It's not like that and you know it."_

_"Trying to get you're freak on with the village girls. You must go at it a lot, no wonder you're always late coming home." The hanyou snickered under his breath, trying to picture Sesshomaru with a human, which really would be a sight to see since the foul mood creature swore off any type of mortal. Sesshomaru flung the sibling into a nearby tree, with the force that crushed the tall oak on impact._

_"You have no idea!" Sesshomaru held his upper lip curled back, baring the extending canines in rage. "Get out of here Inuyasha!" His growls ground into the dog ears immediately, registering as something that shouldn't be reckoned with at the moment. The change was coming quickly, pounding in the youkai's veins, singing in his blood, to destroy all that stood in his path. To mutilate and extinguish any life that attempted to take what was his._

_Kagome was, and would always, be HIS to take. She owed him everything, thanked him in her prayers without knowing what he was or knowing what he promised to do once she became his by all rights. The dark crimson began to shiver and swirl, blanketing the dieing amber eyes to give rise to the oncoming savageness, the primal beast that demanded it's mate._

_If Inuyasha was bound determined to stay, he was going to find that life could be cut short. Interfering with a demon's moment of claiming, or just giving a breath of threat, made the wild carnage inside Sesshomaru grow and thicken._

_"Leave... before I kill you." Sesshomaru's stripes became jagged, his true form howling to be released. The youkai narrowed his feral slits, awaiting his order fulfilled. Inuyasha heard the sound of the girl in the distance, smelt her building fear from the sounds alone. "No." The hanyou barked, fearful for the human._

_He didn't know the importance of that girl, the bastion that she was to his infuriated brother. All Inuyasha knew was Sesshomaru was violent, and that human girl was defenseless if he attacked, which he didn't doubt the elder would do. 'So you hurt innocent girls during the day cuz dad will kick you're ass if you lay a finger on Ako.' Inuyasha allowed his own fangs to lengthen, arching his back to ready an attack._

_"I won't let you hurt her." Inuyasha snarled, eyeing the sudden shocked features of Sesshomaru._

_"I told you to stay out of my business half breed."_

_"You're sick, and you'll have to get through me to her." Wrong thing to say, especially when Sesshomaru's growls grew louder even when he breathed. "I'll rip you apart."_

_They charge one another, but Inuyasha, as usual, was at a sever disadvantage. He was hardly trained, or experience like his brother. And he surely didn't hold the strength's as a full blood. Inuyasha sprung into the air, with Iron Reavor Soul Stealer his opening move, slicing down to rip open Sesshomaru's chest._

_The youkai only twirled into the air, dodging the repeated assault with grace. He was a blur, confusing Inuyasha as to where he was until his brother would plant an attack on his body. Sesshomaru seemed to become excited to the savage battle, his blood calling to taste this brutality. It was the instincts that begged to be unleashed, to decimate the opponent slow to enjoy the kill. A strange pride swell into Sesshomaru's chest, the sensation of defending his soon-to-be mate forcing him to smirk and lose the once carnivorous anger that had invaded his better judgment._

_Sesshomaru flexed his claws, dripping the glowing acid from his tips. It bubbled and oozed to the ground, burning holes into the soil with a hiss, spraying the smell of poison thickly into the air to choke his brother. "You want a taste of this?" Sesshomaru hissed, the predatory glee painted bright and flowed when Inuyasha's wails became strained._

_Flinging the droplets upon his sibling's chest, the searing poison ate into the flesh almost instantly. Inuyasha screamed into the air, clutching and tearing at his clothes to get the scorch to lesson. Sesshomaru sliced his whip attack into his brothers shoulders, reminding the hanyou his proper place in society, begging and on his knees for mercy._

_The rabid thrill heightened Sesshomaru's sense's, flaring his nostrils to smell the swarming scent of melting flesh. "I knew you'd see things MY way, brother." The last part was spat in diabolical pleasure, having the victor to loam dangerously over the kneeled other. Inuyasha had never known his brothers bitter humor, nor that he could decimate competition so carefully, so quickly without so much as hesitation. It was all calculated, even when Sesshomaru lost his cool. The beast inside may lead him to cripple his opponent, but the true master let the monster know it's place, just like how he had demonstrated to his own flesh and blood. Sesshomaru held control, craved it like an undying hunger, attacking when it was strategic like a general leading it's armies._

_Wrapping an iron grip around the aching hanyou, Sesshomaru brought them eye level. His fingers clasped ruthlessly upon the flesh, most likely breaking vessels to form visible bruises. "I always was better than you, I just don't see why father never noticed."_

_The glint of maliciousness corrupted Sesshomaru's once handsome face, his poison tipped weapons digging deeper into Inuyasha's flesh, burrowing under his skin to pierce the nerve's and muscle's. The youkai released just a few diluted drops of venom into his brothers system, smirking when the other squirmed and gulped with pain. "It is less potent, for now, so I don't have to explain to dear ole daddy how you died. I can make it MUCH worse if you EVER get in my way again. Got that half breed?"_

_Inuyasha brought his hands up, forcing his own claws into Sesshomaru's hand. It hardly fazed the youkai, he training himself to take pain like one would take a pill. His mind just drifted into tightening his clutch, as the other did the same. "Is the air coming less and less?" Sesshomaru asked, noticing the blue line his brothers lips._

_Inuyasha gasped, chocked, sputtered, then brought his hands to clutch Sesshomaru's sleeve. He ripped at the fabric, eyes searching for a way to escape. His hand fell on something hard and lumpy in the clothes, an odd thing hidden in his brothers sleeve._

_Removing the root from Sesshomaru's clothes, the hanyou just eyed it for a moment, speechless and dizzy. With a ruthless roar, Sesshomaru thrusted his sibling across the forest, chucking him a good distance through sturdy tree's and brush. This battle was won way before it had begun, the older sneering when the crisp snap of bones echoed into his ears. How he loved to rote misery unto his brother, it was rightly given and graciously bestowed. _

_A high pitched scream erupted into the air as soon as Inuyasha crashed into the small patch of field, leading the youkai to hesitate in reacting._

_"Kagome." Sessshomaru whispered her name, panic bubbling in his chest to think harm had fallen upon her. She was in trouble... he had to protect her. Leaping over the fallen timber, pumping his legs ever faster to reach his love, the demon halted upon spotting the young girl kneeling over Inuyasha's unconscious body. _

_"Oh my God oh my God oh my God." She kept repeating, kneeling beside the hanyou to shake awake. Kagome waved her hands franticly in the air, not knowing what to do to help the silver haired man. Her hands shook him repeatedly, still Inuyasha didn't stir._

_Biting her lower lip with a vengeance, the human thus began to slap his face to awaken him. "WAKE! UP! WEIRD! MAN!" Her high pitched squeals lessoned for a scant moment, eyes lingering upon the white fuzzy doggy ears. "Huh?" She stroked the velvety points with extreme care, bedazzled by the softness sliding between her fingertips. 'How strange.'_

_Leaning over further, she stroked his cheek in a gentle caress. Her hand had taken a life of its own, entwining a strand of his white locks around her forefinger. 'Your...' Taking in one quivering breath, her heart skipped into her throat when Inuyasha gave a moan of pain. His lids slid open, revealing the once hidden golden pools that simmered with life._

_'My guardian hero.' The thought struck hard in her chest, constricting her throat until swallowing was a task onto itself. The hanyou brought his sights up to the girl towering over him, brows pinching together in anger. "Where is he!" He snapped, trying to lift his body up off the ground. With the movement, Inuyasha gave an ear rattling scream, clenching and unclenching his hand at the cracked ribs and bruised spin ripping at his insides._

_The cuts and lacerations burned when the skin was stretched, searing him into another menacing growl for vengeance. "Damn him!" Inuyasha cursed under his breath, feeling the girl's delicate hands try to keep him steady, "Don't move, you're badly hurt."_

_"What was your first clue?" He bit out, leaning on his elbows with the remainder of his strength. It took plenty of concentration to keep his body steady, chewing down the screams that plucked at his lips._

_Kagome planted her hands on her hips, scowling at his pissy attitude. Maybe she was wrong about this being her guardian. "Look," She began, "let me help you to my house, we can fix you up in no time if you just cooperate."_

_Inuyasha tried to push her away, grumbling something like he didn't need any help from wenches, until his arm quickly gave out. "Damnit!" He hollered, releasing the root that had been clutched in a death grip. Kagome's eyes swiftly caught the item he had dropped, picking it up in utter shock. "This is..." Her jaw fell, pupils narrowed to be sure her eyes weren't lying. "The Miracle Root."_

_At first, Inuyasha just panted, sweating thick beads of sweat from the poison circulating in his veins, leaving his insides to burn. "Yeah," The hanyou finally managed to sit up, "What of it?"_

_Kagome brought it up to his face, smiling worriedly to the man, "My brother... he needs this to get better. I'll give you anything for this." _

_Inuyasha was taken aback, slumping his shoulders and nearly falling over from her outburst. "I-it's not mine. I was fighting with... "_

_"Please! Let me have this, I'm begging you." Tears began to form on the crevices of her lids, nearly close to tumbling down her beautiful face. A lump caught in the hanyou's throat, his brows slanting sympathetically. He didn't want to make her sad, to see her cry. Rubbing his head, Inuyasha finally nodded, wavering her aside trying to play off he didn't care, "Take it if ya want, I don't need it."_

_After the last word left his lips, he was embraced in a very loving, very painful hug from the girl, "Thank you thank you thank you!" His ribs creaked from the squeeze, sending the hanyou to howl in misery by this girls gratitude. 'But...' Inuyasha thought, inhaling her sweet seductive scent and feeling her gentle aura purify his poisoned wounds, 'it's worth it to see her smile.'_


	15. My secrets:Part four

**Ch 15_ "My secrets: Part four"_**

_Sesshomaru panted madly in the air, watching the way HIS Kagome hugged that bastard half breed. "Damn you Inuyasha!" He growled into the forest, clenching his hands so tight blood oozed dangerously from the claw marks digging into his palm. Biting his lip to gain control, even that forced blood to pour onto his tongue, with rage boiling over into his thoughts. Deadly plans plagued his mind, of tormenting his sibling till death would be his only wish. The joy he could invoke by stripping Inuyasha's flesh from muscle, pulling each claw out to watch it grow back and be ripped out again._

_Sesshomaru would love to claw Inuyasha's beating heart out and shove it down his throat for this. That was supposed to be HIS hug. She was supposed to smile that way for only HIM! Snapping his head away from the scene, the youkai gritted his teeth until he felt they would crumble in his mouth. Tears threatened to spill, but some how, he kept them locked behind their hazy prison._

_Too many emotions teased, swirled, twisted into revulsion and hate. He felt betrayed._

_'No, I can't let this go on. He can't steal her from me! I won't allow it! Her love is MINE!' Sesshomaru broke from his thoughts, glaring up at the backs of the two people now entering Kagome's yard. "Fuck!" Slamming a red fist into a tree, he never even realized the outburst take out nearly all standing objects on his left side._

_"This isn't over Inuyasha. Kagome WILL be mine." And that was a promise._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Stomping into Inu-sama's home, it wasn't difficult to tell Sesshomaru had a very bad day. Him ripping the hinges off the door was another sign to make way for trouble. Inu-sama lifted his head from his desk and paper work, watching his oldest son trudge noisily past the open door to his room. "Sesshomaru?" Inu-sama asked, using a stern voice to catch the youkai's attention._

_Hearing the curses grow louder, and feet of Sesshomaru approaching, told the father he had successfully captured the demon's interest. Standing in the door way, shoulders hunched and teeth bared, Sesshomaru nearly yelled, "WHAT!" into the room._

_Inu-sama rose a brow at the tone, tapping his finger in patience, "What did I tell you about that temper of yours?"_

_"Go to hell! I don't feel like puttin up with your bull shit today!" The youkai threw his hands in the air, spinning around to find solitude in his own chamber, and plot Inuyasha's painful punishment for stealing Kagome's affection today._

_That was not what Inu-sama expected, but than again, Sesshomaru never showed proper respect for his elders, even towards his own father. "Hey, get back here. You do NOT speak that way to me young man."_

_Sesshomaru glared over his shoulder, his eyes flashing a deep blood crimson by the order, "Fuck you!" The stripes stretched jaggedly across his cheeks, claws just itching to take his aggression on someone... even his father if push came to shove._

_Swallowing hoarsely, his father coughed after evaluating this, feeling the demon blood inside his son heat and boil to insanity. Anything could catapult Sesshomaru into a savage fury that Inu-sama was beginning to doubt he could control. Each day his eldest offspring grew stronger, enough so he too began to fear it._

_"I need you to calm down-"_

_"I AM CALM!"_

_Inu-sama gave a strained sigh, closing his eyes to reclaim his patience. "No, you are not. Your eyes are blazing red if you look at yourself." His father pointed out a mirror mounted upon a wall, urging his son to see for himself the monstrous sight he was right now._

_Sesshomaru stepped in a little ways, watching his hair bristle out in angry coarse layers, his fangs traveling to tickle the bottom of his chin. Grinding his molars down, Sesshomaru took a deep breath as his father did to ease his body and sate the rage. Running a hand over his cold smooth cheek, the youkai lowered his brows solemnly to see the beast he could turn into more often than not. 'If Kagome were ever to see me like this... ' He thought, saddened to think her ever to be a witness when the ugliness inside him showed._

_Once all was settled, Inu-sama sat back in his chair, not realizing he had risen when the threat of Sesshomaru's fury had entered the house. "I called you hear to talk with you."_

_"About?" Sesshomaru asked in his coldest of voices, keeping his back turned to his father._

_"You are becoming quite a strong youkai, nearly a taiyoukai if you keep your training up."_

_The words appeared distant, his son faintly listening to the conversation. Sesshomaru didn't want praises, to much on his mind tormented him to relish in what he had been thirsting for since his father had left him in the first place._

_"And I believe it time you found a dwelling of your own."_

_Sesshomaru smirked cruelly, 'Giving me the boot already.'_

_For a moment, Inu-sama sat in silence, allowing this to sink in before continuing. "And with this new home and position, you will also be required to claim a mate soon after."_

_"A mate?" It was only a tinkling whisper, his heart fluttered in his expanding chest. "Any female?" It didn't seem possible, but turning slowly to face his father, Sesshomaru was surprised to see Inu-sama nod in approval. "You have one in mind?"_

_Sesshomaru nearly screamed her name, catching himself quickly before so. "I do." He answered more calmly, straitening his back to display his full height to his father._

_Inu-sama smiled fondly, clasping both hands together, "I won't stop you son... "_

_'Son.' That brought a warmth into the youkai's heart, to hear him address him as more than young man or pup. Sesshomaru's head felt light, almost intoxicated in a sense, and he smiled brightly at the simple words his father spoke._

_"But.." Inu-sama continued, "you must have a homestead before I'll allow you to get hitched. You can't marry without a place to take her too. And to make a name for yourself you'll also need land, property to build upon. I don't expect any less than you exceeding me in every way. With you're brain it won't be difficult for you to prosper, but don't let my words go to your head any."_

_Sesshomaru shook his head in disapproval, "I'll make you proud... father."_

_Ah, the old demon hadn't heard his son call him that in a long time. Shuffling a few papers, Inu-sama brought one rolled up parchment up to his son's sights, "I'm sure you will like this property. I've been holding it aside for you, though I'm sorry if it needs many repairs due to the not so kind years. But you can handle it."_

_Instantly, Sesshomaru took up the deed, unfolding it to see where his home was to be. His eyes traveled over the name, his grip grew firm around the paper. Shutting his eyes, and bowing his head, the youkai thanked his father._

_He was going home, his real home in the west. 'I am coming to visit you mother, and bring your home to its former glory.'_

_The moment was perfect, determination brightly glowed on his face. Inu-sama smiled fondly at the future western lord, glad to finally find a calm in his eldest son. Perhaps responsibility was all that was required to conquer Sesshomaru's temper. The taiyoukai still swelled with pride for his eldest son, then, unconsciously, swiveled his head around, sniffing the air in curiosity, "By the by... where's you're brother?"_

_At the mention of one absent sibling, Sesshomaru scrunched his shoulders, smirking wickedly to himself as he quickly snuck out the door. This only lead his father to chew down his anger, eye brow twitching, pulse mark taking form on the side of his head. "SESSHOMARU?"_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_The new master of the western lands surveyed his home, his castle in the wilderness. It was so quiet here, with the exception of twittering birds, the babbling streams, rustle of aged trees, and the grunts and groans of his architects and laborers._

_Sesshomaru checked over the plan's in the blue prints, approving of progress already taking shape. This place would be grand again, he had vowed this to his dearly departed mother the moment the deed had been presented to his eager hard working hands. _

_A little supervisor had been assigned to keep workers on schedule, Sesshomaru expected nothing less than a hard days work with positive results, and the toad seemed to be bred to please._

_Jakken hurried to please his master, swatting those that found it convenient to take an early lunch break when plenty of things could be cleaned or further repaired. "Get to work you slackers, Lord Sesshomaru isn't paying you to eat."_

_One worker turned his back on the simmering servant, chuckling with his friends to ignore the little toad. Jakken began to see red at the laziness, knowing if Sesshomaru noticed the slip it would be all their necks. They, unlike the toad, had never seen the red furies that took over his master when all did not meet his taste. And to die for another's incompetence, it just wasn't going to happen to this little toad. _

_Smacking them hard on the back, Jakken now hopped up and down to scream in their ears, "You don't want to invoke his anger, I'm warning you."_

_"And I'm warning you, if you hit me one more time..." The demon didn't get a chance to finish his statement, being thrown for a loop through one of the strongest standing walls in the castle._

_His friends stared wide eye at the inu, watching with mouths agape at their master standing with arm outstretched to show he had just sent the man flying. All were speechless, hesitant to even breath in the western lords presence. Sesshomaru's cold eyes slowly fell upon the stragglers, upper lip curling to reveal a very threatening fang smile, "I don't recall hearing the lunch bell."_

_The taiyoukai's focus fixed onto the hole that now also needed extensive repairs. He sighed vainly to himself, shaking his head in fake sympathies, "Another messy job. Get back to work."_

_At first, the two workers were too afraid to move, still terrified of the one they slaved under. This would not due, and the youkai flexed his cold expression like an unsheathed sword, "If he's still alive, make sure he fixes that hole."_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_The castle was complete. More splendid than before, with white polished stone on the outside trimmed in gold. The insides had also been restored to all that it once had been, some redesigned to fit its new lord's taste. The sight made Sesshomaru smile proudly, knowing down in his soul his mother was crying of joy for his accomplishments. He had survived, and honored the place he and she had loved dearly._

_Even the gardens were breath taking again. Each weed plucked, new carnations planted, and walk ways pathed. The lake in the middle had been cleaned and now homed many varieties of fish. Blowing a contented sigh, the youkai crossed his arms in triumph, striding down the halls with his long strong legs._

_The air was drowned with incense, rose petals and cinnamon to welcome all... except Inuyasha, he could rot in hell for all Sesshomaru cared. But no need to worry about his idiot brother, the youkai just wanted to relax after a long year of stress, and a long fifteen years of purgatory in Inu-sama's house._

_Sesshomaru entered what would be his new room, sitting himself on the bed that soon, very soon, would have a warm female body to lye with him. A soft smile fell onto his lips, rubbing the silk blankets with affection. 'Kagome... its time.'_

_He couldn't wait to finally hold her again. To call her his mate._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Trotting down the worn path, Sesshomaru fingered the black box in his hand, much like he did with most things that held great importance when he was nervous. It goes without saying he was beyond nervous, he was close to hyper ventilating. The big question, the proposal that would change his life forever. But he was ready. God, he had been since he was ten years old._

_Her cottage came into view, with the youkai to shrink just a little at the familiar sight. 'No, be bold. Don't take no for an answer. She was made for me and that is just that.' Pulling his shoulders back with new found courage, Sesshomaru leapt over the white gate to land effortlessly in front of the cottages door. Gulping, and straitening his finely tailored kimono, the youkai brought a trembling hand to the wooden door._

_Each knock sounded like thunder crashing, echoing in his ears as small lines of concern broke across his brow. No answer. He tried again, louder this time to be acknowledged. It finally opened a crack, with a little head to poke out and look him up and down. Sesshomaru with held his breath at recognizing Souta, relieved to see he was still alive. "I-is Kagome here?"_

_Sesshomaru wanted to kick himself for sounding like such a coward, bringing both his hands behind his back shyly. Souta took another sweep from head to toe of this stranger, finally resting his sights into Sesshomaru's brilliant gold eyes. "She's out right now." _

_The youkai released his breath, only to sniff around and confirm this. Sure enough, she wasn't here. 'Why didn't I realize that BEFORE I made a fool of myself in front of you're brother?'_

_"You want to leave a message?"_

_The youkai snapped out of his self inflicted mental abuse, shaking his head with a forced smile, "Er, no. Can you tell me where she went?"_

_"Out." Souta answered like an annoying little brother. Oh yes, he acted just like a younger sibling, always getting on you're nerves for a laugh. "Exactly WHERE is she out?"_

_The boy shrugged his shoulders, rolling his eyes like he didn't know, "Eh. Why should I tell a stranger?"_

_Sesshomaru's claws began to lengthen, thank God his hands were still behind his back and his sleeves covered them if any was unfortunate enough to make out their intimidation length. Gritting his teeth, the youkai still kept the smile mounted, trying to take deep breaths to sate his sparking annoyance. If only Kagome was here to calm his anger, it seemed she was the only one to tame his bestial side. "Because," he began, grounding out the words best he could, "I have a very important question for her."_

_"How important?"_

_"Enough I'd like to ask her in person."_

_"Is that a fact?" Now Souta was just doing this on purpose. Sesshomaru bent forward to eye level with the twerp, flashing his fangs at the little boy. Oh, now Souta backed away realizing what this stranger was. The boy hid behind the door, color drained from his cheeks. Sesshomaru marveled at the point made crystal clear, some what satisfied to see Souta's willingness to cooperate now._

_"Why yes, it is a fact. Are you sure you don't know where she is? I won't harm her, but you... well, that all depends on how quickly you answer my question."_

_Souta immediately pointed a finger in the right direction, stuttering out, "A-at the lake. You better not hurt her."_

_Sesshomaru just smirked, patting the kids head with his clawed hand. The boy squeaked at the claws, closing his eyes with each pat. "That's a good boy. You look much better now, I see the root did you good." _

_Spinning on his heels, the youkai trotted briskly in the direction of that one place that had held a beautiful magic in his memories. The first place he had met Kagome. The happiness nearly glowed around him, placing a skip to each step. Never had Sesshomaru felt so alive, so overwhelmed in the joys of living. And after today, he knew his life would never be the same again._

_Souta rubbed his head as the demon departed, readjusting each out of place ruffle of hair. He watched the distant youkai, tilting his head in curiosity, "Root? How did he know... ?" _

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_The smile refused to disperse, growing with each step Sesshomaru knew he was getting closer to his beloved. His secret obsession. The youkai held the small velvet box close to his chest, letting it feel his heart rate increase, filling the canceled item with all the love his meager soul possessed._

_He would give his everything to her. Joy, warmth, laughter, compassion, all that none knew he held inside his hidden heart. He would show her all his sides, and pray she excepted them with an open embrace. _

_'But what if she should refuse me?' The demon hesitated for a scant second, pondering over this trifling thought. 'What if... she fears me? I am a monster in her people's eyes. And I am no saint.' Sesshomaru lowered his head to eye the small trinket of his affections, the object that proved his feelings for the only one to arouse such enchanting emotions._

_Chewing feverishly on his lower lip, Sesshomaru shut his eyes, shaking his head to slay the very 'what it's' from his conscious. 'No, she will love me, as I to her. I may be a beast, but every monster has a heart. And mine can break just as easily. She will see this, she will except me.'_

_He swore on this, determination empowering his very actions. What reason would she have to hold against his affections, his generous offer of marriage? _

_The primalness within stirred ruthlessly again. It snarled for its desired mate, the other half to complete his soul. For the one to complete his very existence. She WAS going to be his. It was written in the heavens, in the stars foretelling a destiny destined by all that was righteous. _

_Had it not been for his careful guardianship Kagome would surely have suffered from many misshapes due to her blissful nature. Did she not owe him in a sense? Would being bound to Sesshomaru be such a horrible fait?_

_'No.' He answered himself aggressively. He would make her happy, shower his bride with gifts fit for any queen. And Kagome was surely going to feel like one, on which she deserved more than any. Sesshomaru's blood sizzled again, heating into molten lava to claim her this very minute. "I want her." His breath grew labored in those words, eager and passionate._

_The inner beast raged, but like a warrior he so was, Sesshomaru fought it down. Inu-sama had taught him long ago that there was a time and place to unleash the primitive side, and there was also a time to keep it well chained. It was a feat indeed to master the instincts within, and Sesshomaru knew the dangers when one lost total control. He had suffered at times during those few lapse, but that was another story all together. Right now he had only one thing on his mind, and one aroma that assaulted his senses into stark raving hysterics._

_Kagome was so near, he could clearly imagine himself touching her, crushing the human girl into his own body, pledging never to relinquish his hold if she promised to cast on him her wondrous charms. To promise always to be his to protect and cherish. Sesshomaru's claim on her would be forever binding, fussing the souls, leaving the mark on his angel so that no other male would ever even think to lay a finger on her precious skin. _

_Bidding his inu's savageness down, Sesshomaru quickly picked up the pace. So patiently he had waited. Now, growing weary of this shadow game, the youkai had come to collect. _

_The excitement was almost intoxicating, his nerves grinding in fear, but that was to be expected. Swatting a few hanging branches from his face, the demon hopped over logs and holes littering the ground with a merry air about him. Casting his focus every which way, Sesshomaru grinned at the familiar surroundings. Ah yes, he remembered this place well. It had changed little over the years and he admired the healthy moss green leaves bursting to life around him. _

_Spring._

_New life, new future._

_This was the place it had all started, the lake in which his pathetic life had changed dramatically. _

_Her smell, it was so close now. Sesshomaru could feel her presence leaking in waves around the surrounding area, being absorbed into his starved essence. _

_'Kagome... wait for me, please... so I may whisper all my secrets to you. So you can finally love something that will worship you into eternity.' _

_Laughter fluttered into the air, tinkling in his ears like little church bells on a dew filled morning. God, he wanted to be closer, to be the cause for that joy, to tickle his way up her curves and feel Kagome's warm breath on his flushing cheeks. _

_The melodious sound came again, his smile widening, eyes twinkling. Anticipation for her company made all else melt away, the world bright and beautiful once again in his eyes._

_Swatting the last branches from his view, the youkai halted upon discovering another resignation sound of laughter following Kagome's own chuckles. But that laugh was deep... and male. Sesshomaru's brows pinched together in confusion, quickly widening in horrified shock. His face fell once recognizing the man sitting upon the log next to the girl. 'Oh, God... no.'_

_Inuyasha beamed another swauve smirk, leaning in to whisper another sweet nothing into her ear. Kagome's face blushed rapidly at that, and she again began giggling at whatever it was the hanyou had said. _

_They never even noticed the rigid youkai watching their backs in anguish, or see the hurt filling his misty eyes._

_'No... I...' Sesshomaru's hands began to violently tremble, his chest heaving from the sharp invisible stabs attacking his raspy lungs. All the warmth slipped from his soul, bleeding his heart of all the wonder and magic he had once believed to come true. The silent cry building inside was choked down, paining him to do like nothing had ever done so before. _

_Outstretching a meager hand towards his angels form, the demon quickly drew it back when he noticed the happiness mirrored in her eyes... for Inuyasha._

_Tears clogged his vision, threatening to roll free in her presence, with his throat shrinking to a burning, choking torture. And just when he went to step forth from the brush, to make himself known to both the unaware teens and rip her from that hanyou's undeserving arms, Inuyasha swiftly caught Kagome's chin with one large hand, enveloping her puckering lips with his._

_She didn't refuse the caress, didn't push away when Sesshomaru nearly screamed for her to do so. Kagome hungrily lapped up the sweetness with a force that only two star crossed lovers held, falling into Inuyasha's arms willingly with a satisfied sigh into his mouth._

_The tiny velvet box slipped from Sesshomaru's grip, his mouth dry, voice muted. _

_"I love you Kagome." Inuyasha whispered between butterfly kisses, planting a few on the corner of her lips, traveling down the length of her neck until gently nuzzling his face into her flowing hair. He inhaled the young woman's heavenly fragrance, purring into her ear as he nibbled here and there on her tender candy flesh. Kagome moaned with ease, throwing her arms around her beloved for the strongest embrace she had ever mustered._

_Giggling from his gentle touch, she leaned in to utter her own confession into his perked ears. A twig snapped when her lips parted, snaring both teens attention. "What was...?" _

_Inuyasha looked up simultaneously as she, staring fixedly at the place Sesshomaru had once watched. An eerie chill ran up Kagome's spine while Inuyasha shrugged the threat off. _

_'That noise, like... the forest spirit.' Kagome clenched Inuyasha's shirt tightly, fearful for some strange reason. It had to have been watching, but... 'No. The forest spirit was Inuyasha. Long silver hair, glowing amber eyes. He HAS to be the one that protected me... isn't he?'_

_What ever it was that once stood behind them, it had fled the scene hastily. And, if she didn't know any better, Kagome could almost detect a lingering emotion that emitted off the observing creature. Her brows fell sorrowfully. Though her miko powers were untrained, since her study of medicine had consumed most of her time, she was only able to detect certain things from certain individuals. And it always varied from person to person what she could read from them._

_Sadly, to her discovery, she felt the spilling emotions that had leaked in nauseating torrents. Shutting her eyes, the girl bit her lip once absorbing the suffering that person endured. The hate, sorrow, hopelessness trailing into the foliage, so miserable was he. Was it because of seeing her and Inuyasha together?_

_She didn't have much time to ponder over the matter, her companion scoffed at the noise, dismissing it with a careless shrug, "Just the two of us out here. Nothing to worry about." He reassured with another flashy smile._

_"Yeah," She began, an awkwardness filling her soul. Burrowing her face into Inuyasha's chest, she was still undecided on the matter. The one that had witnessed their passionate kisses had placed a strange unwelcome feeling into her heart. 'The two of us.'_

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Sesshomaru had set off in a dead run when she threw her arms around him, trying to place as much distance between that memory and himself as possible. The rage ate away into his mind, despair flooding every pore until Sesshomaru could flee no more. All the energy had deserted him, leaving only a panting, whimpering youkai to fall onto his collapsing knees._

_He had ran. Like a coward, he had wanted to escape that image of them, to find comfort anywhere but at that horrid lake. 'Why? WHY!' Sesshomaru pounded his fist into the ground, ripping at the earth to find the answer somewhere amongst the soil. The tears leaked openly from his eyes, spilling in puddles around his quivering hands._

_Sesshomaru kept his lids clenched shut to drown out the sight of the forest, the place he had once thought a haven. Now, it was only a prison of painful memories. It held her smell, her laughter, there was no place he could look without remembering a time Kagome had not been there to torment him with her presence._

_Exhaling a withheld breath, the demon cringed on the raspy cry that fell from his lips. "Why!" His scream pierced the woods, silencing the natural sounds with all the anguish in that one word. 'How could you... after all I did for you? After what you did to me.' Sesshomaru grasped his chest, the pain ripping into his being by each wave of sorrow. Never had he felt so little. Reduced to nothing so easily._

_His heart gave another sharp crack, splitting into a thousand little shards. 'God, it hurts.' His breath became labored, the whimpers of all he had lost coming out in-between every other sob. 'You never even knew,' Sesshomaru clenched his hands to his face, trying to hide his disgraceful tears, 'never knew... I loved you.'_

_And his brother, the traitorous wretch, had kissed her. HIS life mate. Had this been what was going on behind his back, when he was building for her a castle of hopes and dreams? Was he never to know happiness? To feel the acceptance of a woman's smile or the soft touch that could mend a vulnerable heart? _

_Traitors, all of them. No one was to be trusted, not even his own kin it appeared. They only plotted together, conniving bastards, tearing him down, stripping him of pleasures most took for granted._

_It was like Kagome had just pierced his heart with the only weapon to ever inflict damage. Her betrayal._

_'You did this to me! You made me want to follow you to the ends of the earth. All I asked in return was you're love. Is that so much to ask for! Am I to horrible, to hideous, for happiness! How could I have been so stupid?'_

_Trembling all over, Sesshomaru moaned of his lose, of his miserable existence without her. The inner inu bellowed from the darkest reaches of his being to destroy that of which took her away in the first place, but he only released another wave of pitiful sobs. She didn't love HIM. Her eyes, like her heart, felt nothing for an ugly monster such as he._

_Sesshomaru nearly vomited at the thought of her in the arms of another, of all the things he would never know. But he clamped his fangs onto his lower lip, swallowing the rising bile best he could manage. He had given his heart away so willingly, only to have it returned with a smile in pieces._

_No more sunshine, no more smiles. What was the point? He would only know rejection. It was all any had ever shown him to begin with, leaving the youkai to scream Kagome's name hopelessly into the growing night sky. Each time it grew louder, strained, forced to call back his angel that had once graced him with her ethereal glow. _

_"KAGOME!"_

_Darkness surrounded his exhausted body, carving a hollowness within his dieing soul. She had sprouted her dove white wings, flown to desert the devil that wished for only her love to lighten his cruel life, never to even know of his pitiful existence._

"KAGOMEEEEEE!"

(Told you in chapter 10 this part would make sense later. Now you know why he remembered himself screaming her name.)

**END FLASHBACK**

"It was that very night, when I no longer had enough will power to move, no longer wished to give myself such false ambitions, that I vowed never to feel." Sesshomaru kept his eyes focused upon the glassy surface of the lake. "I tore what was left of my soul into fine shreds, locking the remaining pieces deep inside so not to experience such... misery... ever again." He clenched a hand upon the logs surface, turning towards Kagome when she neglected to utter a sound.

For the longest time, he was unsure she would even speak after hearing this, if she, in fact, even believed his tale. Kagome eventually focused her full attention onto his softened face, her fingers burning to touch that sad scowl that forever hung on his lips. Searching his eyes for told truths, the woman instead folded her hands in her lap, pulling her gaze away from the intensity of his.

They were to honest, burning from the inside out for acceptance. She chewed her cheek, battling herself to respond. This couldn't be a lie. To many things made sense, to much fit together in empty spaces upon the puzzle of her life. It explained so much, yet had to be absurd. Did Inuyasha not warn her against this creature? Had she not been warned of his manipulative nature? She had seen how dangerous he was the first night she had met him, when he had lunged to strangle the breath from her body.

'But...' Sesshomaru had cautioned about Inuyasha and Koga also. Something was still being hidden from her, something very mind boggling that it hurt to ponder upon. "Why should I believe you?"

"I have not lied to you before."

Kagome snapped a stern glare on his calm face, "Neither has Inuyasha! He would never-"

"YOU'R Inuyasha would not lie to you." He stressed upon the sentence, returning the hotness of her stare. "But this is not you're Inuyasha. You feel it, as do I."

Kagome shook her head to dislodge his words, tears threatening to spill if he continued to speak such travesties. "No! It's not true. He told me about you, he said..."

"What?" Sesshomaru pressed, daring her to carry on. "Did he tell you I was evil? That I kill for no other reason than to taste blood?" His eyes grew cold, narrowing on the woman's face as she slowly tried to turn away from him.

"I DO kill, tis the nature of a demon. And most human's for that matter. Do you judge me by their deaths, or by stories you hear?" Sesshomaru caught her chin in his hand, watching her lids shut to keep his image from her mind, to try and force his questions away from doing any more harm.

So much to take in, so much to think upon. It was hard to hate when that person made such good points, especially when they exhausted themselves treating you with care that shouldn't be between supposed enemies.

"Then don't believe me when I tell you I worry. Yes, you heard me, I worry about you. But you obviously don't want to hear that do you? You want me to hurt you-" His grip grew around her face, claws extending to lightly prick her flushing cheeks, "You want for me to feed you deception so you can hate me without a second thought. Not all is black and white, you taught me that long ago."

Sesshomaru lifted her face up, his hungry golden pools eating up her succulent beauty. She was so innocent, so pure and... untouchable. Wetting his lips, the taiyoukai broke his sights from the puffiness of her mouth. "I never want to harm you." His claws retracted once his frustration was sated, leaving his thumb to stroke the powdery texture of her flesh. She always could calm his primalness, the enchantress.

"Please look at me, Kagome." She had never witnessed the adult ask for anything, slightly shocking the woman into compliance. He purred her name so lovingly, a manner that was not meant to be with one such as he.

But the way he had spoke to her melted the resistance barricading her heart. His voice was so low, husky and longing. Small traces of anguish laced his tone, touching her in a way that made all Kagome's essence feel for him. To know he was not a monster, that he wasn't evil or vile, but a creature seeking her redemption.

He was so lonely, kicking Kagome's maternal instincts to nurture into full force. It was almost an impossible task for her to restrain from cradling his head in her arms, to lull the pain of harsh years away.

Kagome was mesmerized by this strange creature, his touch doing far more damage on her stubbornness than expected. Did he truly love her?

"If," Kagome stuttered, mentally wanting to slap herself, " If you felt that way, why did you let me... why didn't you say something?"

A subtle flame burst in his molten pools, along with a twitch in his lip. Lowering his gaze, Sesshomaru continued to cup her head in that one large hand of his, "Because... you loved him." His sights would travel up to her face, but then drop again as if he were ashamed. He squirmed uncomfortably, regretting actions long ago that could have made a difference. "I was always afraid of losing you. Though, I suppose, I did in the end. You're happiness was all I ever wanted. And... "

Sesshomaru's emotions leaked out to cling onto Kagome's heart, allowing her a small taste of the internal chaos he lived with each day, "I was afraid of you're rejection most of all. This isn't easy." The taiyoukai scrunched his shoulders to prove he was not one to express such thoughts easily, though some how he managed, "I was a coward by that. Angry, licking my wounds in silence. I suppose I am my own worst enemy, for, as you can see, denying yourself things can lead to complications of its own."

His lids were capped, appraising when she searched his glowing mirrors.

Sesshomaru gave a rye smile, dipping his face closer to hers. "But, I've always... "

The heat between them crackled in the air, cleansing both people by the waves lapping down their quivering frames. "... wanted to..." Their faces drew closer, Kagome finally felt his surging energy devour her when the demon's lips brushed feather light along hers, ready to suckle the plumpness, to cause her body to go down in flames again. And like any woman held in the arms of this powerful taiyoukai, Kagome tilted her head in acceptance.

"Kagome?"

The noise sent both of them to pull away, Sesshomaru releasing her the instant the barging person broke into view. Kagome was the only one to turn, inwardly growling at Koga' piss poor timing.

The wolf demon stood on the outskirts of the forest, watching the back of Sesshomaru with a venomous hiss. His hatred only fueled when he glanced to see the moisture on Kagome's lips.

"Did I interrupt something?" Koga asked crossly, folding his arms across his broad chest.

He knew exactly what he had walked in on, and sure enough by his expression, he didn't like it. Not one bit. Kagome observed the two male's carefully before responding, waiting for Sesshomaru to be the first to explain.

Though it appeared he had no intention of doing so, head bent slightly, sights fixed on the lake beyond. He was unmoved, still as the dead, waiting, Kagome suspected, for a reason to leap to life.

Brushing at her burning cheeks, and smoothing out her skirt, she jumped to her feet with her tongue stumbling over several incoherent excuses. The tension in the air only thickened for each stutter, with the aggression in each male ready to explode upon the other for their presence alone, and Kagome defiantly didn't want to nurse Koga back to health if that were the case. Yes, she never expected Sesshomaru to take it easy on the wolf demon if an actually fight were to break out. That is, if Koga even lived after tangling with Sesshomaru for a second time.

"W-we were just talking out here." Kagome finally managed to choke that out, still sweeping her gaze over the two demons. Koga only sniffed, stomping a few feet closer to Kagomes side. His advancement was cut short when Sesshomaru's glare set him in place, forcing thick sheets of sweat to build and fall down the wolf's neck. "Kag?" Koga called out, hoping for some support.

"I'll be with you soon Koga. Just wait for me over there." Once the intruding male did as asked, Kagome bent over to reclaim her basket of herbs. "I want you to pay close attention to you're surroundings." Sesshomaru caught her hand as she rose holding the basket.

His grip grew for a moment, encasing her small, petite hands. The intensity of his aura wrapped itself around her, with the look in his face that told more than words could say. It was the look to say 'You are mine' and 'No one shall live if they harm you'.

It was comforting in its own little way to know he wished only her well being. "Think of me before you knew my past. What did you're heart tell you then?"

Kagome took a sharp breath, holding it in thought as she knew Koga was probably having kittens seeing them holding hands.

"I... that was a different you. Sessh."

Sesshomaru smirked, actually gave a smirk towards the mention of the little one. He brought one hand up and tapped his skull, "He's still there, the better half of me you might say." His grin grew goofy, signaling the kiddish versions arrival, "Me and Sesshomaru are the same person, I'm the one he thought he shredded that one night." The voice was that of a youth now, the one that had felt the full betrayal of a kiss between her and Inuyasha.

"With all that I know now, me and Sesshomaru will be one in the same in no time. Though I'd rather be silly than an up tight push over like him." That forced Kagome to giggle, and she knew Sesshomaru was rolling his eyes at that if not beating the tar out of his younger self.

"So," Sessh began, eyes falling to the ground with a sad little grin, "I just want to tell you good-bye than."

"Good-bye?"

"Yeah." He spoke softly, tears on the edges of his lashes, "I'll probably be one with myself by the time you see me again. Then, it'll just be Sesshomaru you talk to."

Kagome shook her head, mouth agape to protest such a thing. She didn't want to lose her lil baby for nothing, not have to say so long to the funny child that held nothing but a smile for everyone. Sessh just silenced her whimpers by placing a finger to her silky lips, tilting his head at the useless fretting, "Don't be sad. I hate seeing you that way. Don't make me have to do the monkey dance to cheer you up."

She swallowed hard, a weak grin cracking her face, "I don't want you to go. You'll always be like my sweet little fluffy baby."

The very thought made him laugh, shaking his head at the absurdity of it. "I'm not going anywhere Kagome-san. Remember what Kaede said? I'll just be... you know, completed. Me and Sesshomaru, that baka, will be put back together after all these years of being separated. Think of it like a family reunion." He shrugged it off as the flicker of personality changed to the next.

Sesshomaru's mature face lost it's once carefree expression. "I'll finally be the real me. Not cold," he gestured towards himself, "and not completely stupid." His eyes rolled to point out Sessh.

"Hey! That was mean."

"And you calling me baka wasn't?"

When ever he had a little conversation with himself Kagome couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of the scene. "Any ways," Sesshomaru continued, stroking a lose strand of hair from her brow, "let THIS tell you what to believe." He pointed to her heart, a small tug of his lips hinting his reassuring smile.

As he went to turn around, Kagome kept his hand locked with hers, not ready to see him depart just yet. Her mind was clouded with so much, she was not sure what to think any more. It was like her soul was pulled into so many directions she only knew that Sesshomaru could make the world stop its tug-o-war with her.

The glassy look in her eyes made the youkai inhale a deep breath, knowing he needed to leave before Koga made an ass of himself and ruin a perfectly good day. But the helplessness in watching her, the lost expression he was unable to ignore, kept the demon rooted to his spot, awaiting for her to voice whatever it was that she felt needed closure.

"I don't want to be torn anymore. I just want to know what is right, what I should do."

Sesshomaru allowed his eyes to take in her image before pulling away, perhaps a little hurt she still didn't believe in his word. "I can't tell you what to do, since you still doubt me."

Her brows fell, along with the hope in her chest. Dipping her head down, the youkai slowly continued, swallowing his own hope for her, "But if it is proof you seek, look in the bush." He pointed a little beyond where Koga stood, the wolf clan leader foaming at the mouth in impatient anger.

Kagome's sights followed his finger, then returned to the departing demon. 'How will that prove anything?'

Koga quickly caught Kagome by the arm once the taiyoukai was no longer visible, spinning her around to face him. "Did he harm you?" The rumble in his voice grew furious, tightening his grip upon her appendage. Twisting from his hold, the woman stumbled back a bit, planting her own version of fury into her looks, "Of course not, Sesshomaru would never hurt me." For someone that was supposedly expected to hate him she sure flew to his defense rather swiftly.

The out burst caught Koga off guard there for a minute, but he soon gathered his wits and stepped uncomfortably close, crowding her, "You should never trust him. He's a liar, a murderer, and you know it."

"Do I?" She questioned, "I don't know anything anymore. But I do know this, Sesshomaru is defiantly NOT a liar."

"Than has he told you about his treachery in the war?"

That caught her off balance, forcing her scowl to lesson for a moment. Koga caught that crumbling resistance, smirking while he played around it, "Oh, the great Lord Sesshomaru didn't mention that in his pity stories did he? Didn't happen to mention how Inuyasha got that wound in his back, who it was that put it there, or who he really works for now did he? Of course not."

Koga circled around her, making Kagome wish Sesshomaru hadn't left her alone with such a horrible man. "Did he Kagome?" She was stiff as a board, holding her shoulders in a slumping stance, "No." The response was gritted out, with frustration to orchestrate into complete fury. Sesshomaru hadn't. He had told her a lot to keep her mind reeling, but the promise of explaining the war had not come up. That was all she wished to hear, though Inuyasha had told her bits and pieces himself, she at least wanted to know Sesshomaru's version just so he would leave her alone.

And yet, he never said a word about it. Was it because it was so horrible, the things he did, or because he didn't have ample time?

'Perhaps he would have if Koga hadn't shown up.' A little voice inside told her, but that was a little late, and Koga still refused to wipe that sneer from his face.

Spinning on her heels, Kagome marched over to the bushes, ignoring Koga's call's behind her. She didn't want to hear any more from these males. She already had enough to fuel her brain for one day, and Koga's constant bad mouthing wasn't lessoning her growing migraine.

Swatted branches and dead leaves from the ground, a strange determination swelled inside. A part of her prayed to find what ever the proof was Sesshomaru had promised, while another hoped not to. After all she had been feed over the course of a week, she didn't really know what she wanted any more.

'The world isn't always black and white.' That is what the demon had said, something she had once believed. That the world didn't have good and evil, but other things like laughter and heart ache, misery and love. It was full of many things in-between, and, perhaps, Sesshomaru was that thing that lay between it all.

She tore at the sticks, pushing weathered stones away until her fingers finally graced something that felt almost... velvet like. Cupping it into the palm of her hand, Kagome brought the little box up to her sights, turning it every which way.

'Right. He could've put this here any time he wanted. It proves nothing.' She reminded herself, casually flipping the lid up to peek inside.

That was a bland thought, enough to keep her from becoming completely gullible. But Kagome immediately gasped upon realizing what the object was dully sparkling in the sun's golden rays, her hands shook while removing it from it's little black prison. She brought it up to her eyes, breaths fast in panic, heart pounding against her chest.

'A ring.' She gasped again, discovering it to be one carved for a delicate finger. Spun of pure gold and woven around one crescent moon shaped diamond. He was going to propose to her.

"Oh God."

Small little age spots went around the golden surface, hinting it's fight against the elements for many uncounted years. It was like Sesshomaru had left it to rot, a memory he forever wished never to exist, to decay in the woods never to be found. And here she was, doubting his story bitterly, as if she had a better explanation for all the strange occurrences in her life.

If tears hadn't sprung forth from that discovery alone, the engravings inside the ring surely did.

KEEPER OF MY HEART

Kagome bit her lip with a cruel vengeance, wiping away the ready to spill tears. 'He was telling the truth.'


	16. Confussed

**Vixon: sorry I haven't written in a while. I know it's been a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time since I've updated but…. Well…. I had to get ready for college. First came getting through the loan bull shit, then moving, and finally the homework.**

**So… much… work….. I hate it. It's left me only enough time to sleep. No free time, nothing. Oh, and I'm sorry if this is short. The other will probably be the longest I've written, ending the story. **

**Come on, shed a few tears. It's okay.**

**Ch16 _"Confussed"_**

Kagome begrudgingly allowed Koga to follow, trying to ignore his presence all together. She didn't want to talk to anyone but her friends, her true friends right now, focusing all her attention on the conversation she was going to have with them. Everything was going to poor out, all that she had learned, all that had transpired…. Everything, to the only person it seemed she trusted.

They knew her through and through. They would understand, help, if possible, in her time of dark despair. That's all she wanted right now, for someone to lean upon. For guidance. And Koga definitely wasn't giving that with his heated words.

The familiar house soon came into view, a relief to Kagome, with the children out frolicking in the backyard like always. Koga gave a few grumbles at the sight of the young ones, stopping in his tracks before they were spotted. "I'll wait for you here."

"I'd rather you left me alone and go away." She hated to sound bitter, but after listening to so many things, absorbing so much in such a short time, Kagome really didn't care if she appeared short.

Koga only chortled darkly, his expression none to reassuring, "Maybe I will. Maybe I'll even head on over to see dear ole Inuyasha. I'm sure he'd get a kick out of the story of you and that homicidal mongrel together. Maybe even get him out of bed. See you later than."

Kagome's face fell, complexion paling. "Koga!" She shouted, reaching out to stop him. The wolf clan leader sneered down at her fragile form, unable to conceal his amusement on the matter. "Oh, have you changed your mind? Want me to stick around?"

God, how she wanted to kill him. The manipulative wretch! Unable to say no, in fear he would make due with his threat, Kagome conceded to his wishes, nodding best she could without gagging. "Yes." She hissed, knowing that if she didn't, he'd go and rat on her in a heart beat.

The wolf cocked his head, leaning in closer just to push her buttons. "Wanna make it worth my wild, ya know, to keep my mouth shut?"

"Want me to get Sango out here to slay you?"

He huffed in place, gritting his teeth at her bantering. Yanking his body away, Koga disappeared down the trail, leaving a bewildered Kagome to mentally kick herself. She didn't know how long she had before all hell broke loose, so perhaps it'd be best to quickly sort things out.

Rushing over to the cottage, Kagome didn't have time to greet the merry children, bursting in the front door to witness Miroku putting the moves on his wife. She wanted to scream, amazed that he managed to keep his manhood after what the children tried to pull last time, yanking the horny man off of Sango before he had a chance to protest.

"K-Kagome…?"

"No time. Sit. Listen. Help."

The two didn't argue with that tone, getting their clothes back on with out a second to spare. Unlike them, Kagome paced up and down, clutching her pounding head to hold the head ache at bay. They didn't even have to ask what troubled her, aware that Sesshomaru wasn't with her and, for some reason, their friend was distressed.

"Has something.. ?"

"He's gone." Kagome lashed, "Sesshomaru's out in the woods somewhere and I don't have the slightest clue what the hell is going on anymore."

The couple exchanged worried expressions, trying to urge her to sit and explain. After many more minutes of incoherent rambling, Kagome finally did take their offer and attempted to get comfortable. But the thought of Inuyasha on a rampage here didn't allow for that to last.

"It's all a mess. Everything. Inuyasha….. He's back but…. Sesshomaru." Kagome nearly collapsed in tears. Sango and Miroku left gapping mouths hit the floor, startled to discover this. "Isn't that supposed to be good news?" The monk offered.

The distraught woman shook her head, glancing up with puffy red eyes. "I don't think… it's really him." Her lip quivered, further moist rivers spilling down her cheeks. "There's something different… something I can't explain. And Sesshomaru…. Oh God. The things… the things he told me."

Sango crossed the small space separating them, taking her friend up in her arms. "Shhh. It's okay. Everything's going to be alright."

"No! It wont. He's violent and… I'm… I'm scared. Scared to go back to my own home. I shouldn't be. I'm supposed to be happy, but he's just… and Sessh said things…. "

It all finally spilled out, bursting free after it's struggle within. The two listened patiently, horrified, fearful, trying to remain calm, though it seemed they too were able to sense the eeriness enveloping them. It WAS rather convenient for Inuyasha to arise from the dead, with Koga, no less, the one to find him.

"Kagome, we're here for you, okay? Let's just start to figure… " Sango hadn't the chance to finish her statement, automatically narrowing her attention to the scream outside.

'Niko!'

All three leapt from their seats, racing for the front door in a blur. Niko was knocked to the ground, dirty and crying violently as Inuyasha towered over the small defenseless child.

"WHERE IS SHE!"

Inuyasha bellowed, hunched over, sword dangling in front of the girls face. "WHERE!" He lifted it's sharpened tip, panting savagely, struggling to gain enough strength to swipe it downward upon the little ones head. Sango was the first to react, rushing the hanyou with all her motherly strength. Miroku had just enough time to grab his staff, blocking the blow aimed for his daughter.

The two parents struggled to keep the hanyou back, Niko's father pushing her behind him eagerly to protect her. Kohaku was the first to take up his little cousin, throwing his sister her boomerang as they both fled for the house.

Kagome stood alone, out in the open front yard, only able to stare on in shock, hands cupping her mouth. How could he do this? Why was he so… so different? He had every intention of killing Niko, a CHILD! What was wrong with him! Why? WHY!

"Inuyasha, stop this!" she pushed the children inside there house, making sure each was safely inside before tackling this monster set before them.

At the sound of her struggling voice, the hanyou's ears perked in the direction. His blood lusting eyes fell upon her trembling body, lips curled and hideous to bare the lengthening fangs. "You BITCH! You were with him! I can smell it from here, you were with HIM!"

Kagome flinched, inwardly trying to summon the powers in her ancient blood. She didn't want to have to use them, to defend her friends against her battle-scarred love, but Inuyasha wasn't leaving much choice. His unstable balance was soon regained, wobbling legs bringing him closer to the one he now wished to kill.

Sango and Miroku had him surrounded, only forcing a horrendous cackle to fall from his lips. They knew, even in his weakened state, he was a formidable match. His power surely surpassed a mere humans, leaving them with only a prayer of a chance to survive anything he threw at them.

Kagome began to approach, wishing to avoid any further conflict. If he wanted her, than so be it. She wasn't going to get the others involved with her problems. They were her friends, nearly felt like family, and this threat alone was hers to confront, whether it destroyed both she and Inuyasha in the end or not.

The hanyou eyed his former friends, snarling wickedly at their attempts to restrain him. "Now I see. You all wish to protect her. That WHORE over there!" His accusing finger pointed at the bashed woman, Kagome trying not to choke on the misery swamping her now. 'Stop. Please stop Inuyasha. Don't do this.' don't make us fight you.

But he didn't, lifting his sword and spreading his legs for an attack. "I'll make you all regret it. I'll make you… " Kagome knew exactly what he was doing. She felt his anger, the sadistic rage boil until it tainted the sword that had once been used to protect the very same people it was now ready to destroy.

"WIND SCAR!"

**Vixon: EWWWW! cliff hangers. dont you lov'em?**


	17. Deception

Vixon: oh yeah. Second to last chapy…. With epilogue coming soon. Hehe. Hope you loved the story, and sorry it took so long just to get this far. Here's just some answers to a few questions I received. No, I haven't forgotten about my loyal readers. I love you all too much to do that.

**YoukaiLover**: yes, kagome did love sesshomaru, but she loved more of the image she remembered than the actual guy. All's she recalls from childhood is white hair and gold eyes always protecting her, she just ended up getting sessh and inuyasha mixed up. So it was really just a big misunderstanding that was left uncorrected. Now she's confused where her heart stands.

**Neko-Yuff16**: I changed the rating after you pointed this out. Thanks for reminding me, I tend to have the memory of a goldfish now a days so thanks a bundle.

**MoonlitStarDestiny**: mmmmmm. That wendy's hit the spot.

**Pearl Knight**: hehe, took your advice and changed the names. I did a thing for and submitted it for a competition. But you never know, I might just publish this one day for college money. Keep your eyes open for a book called Tainted Innocence in your nearest Barnes & Nobles.

* * *

**Ch 17 _"Deception"_**

They all drew back, the force rupturing the earth, splitting it to leave it's skeletal holes. The adults all shouted as they helplessly watched the blazing attack directed to the house, unable to move any if they had the time to do anything about this horrible chaos.

Inyasha hadn't been aiming for Kagome. No, he had been far from it, out for the only things that would undo them all.

The innocent's.

The small faces watched on, aware that they had no chance to escape their home before the Wind Scar ripped into it. Kohaku shielded Niko's view, desperate tears leaking down his face to watch the impending doom soon ending it all.

In a pit of desolation Miroku went to slice into Inuyasha's arm while Sango headed for the house in attempts to save her brother and kids. And Kagome… she could only stare on in disbelief to what the hanyou had done. The treason, the betrayal of his actions. And he was enjoying the misery they felt, the hopelessness swelling within their bosoms.

The brilliant light clashed, it's roar growing louder, fiercer, heightening to a noise that drowned out the heartfelt screams, lifting to a chorus of wails and moans for it's climatic finale. They watched, with helplessly, as their home soon disappeared into the intense radiance beyond.

Inuyasha cackled long and hard at their expressions, his hatred fueling, drowning any other emotion that he might have felt.

The dust began to settle, the screams from the earth ceasing. Miroku was numb, having watched his entire world destroyed before his eyes. "No… " Miroku whimpered, pushing himself off the ground. "NOOOOO!"

He ran for Sango, who had vanished in the dark cloud of debris. Her voice was heard, choked with despair for the young lives lost, the guiltless blood spilled. She had been knocked to the ground, like the others, by the blast, still crawling towards the unseen house.

Kagome clenched her lids shut, inwardly screaming to herself of his treachery. Sesshomaru had been right, as had her intuition. This was not Inuyasha. It had never been him and she was too blinded at the time to have seen that. The wind wiped across her wet face, brushing away the cool trails of sorrow.

Inuyasha soon brought his thirsty gaze upon her, still giddy from the madness he had rot. "I told you I would make you pay. All of you." His laughter started up again, with small sprays of blood leaking from the corners of his mouth.

She wanted to kill him, this… this creature under the hanyou's guise. She felt her finger nails burn to rip his cackling face to shreds, dig into his flesh to peel away the deception. Even her inner miko powers yearned for this retribution, but, as Kagome lurched to strike, Inuyasha's pupils narrowed onto the figure standing in the dust cloud.

It was tall, rigid, silver locks billowing in the crisp winds. And behind him stood the object in which the hanyou had been aiming for, protected and far from destroyed.

The smile melted in place, replaced with utmost hatred. "You." Inuyasha snarled between his canines. His grip grew firm upon his swords hilt, struggling to control his psychotic obsession.

Kagome squinted her sights to the one all seemed to be transfixed with, unable to keep her voice trembling to escape, "S-Sesshomaru… thank you."

The taiyoukai's sword was well in hand, used to block the deadly power unleashed by his brother. And in this intervention, the taiyoukai saved the children, who were now evacuating to the forest behind him. He took one glance over his shoulder, only long enough to watch as their parents hurried them out of sight.

The demon lord returned his cold gaze to the monster dead ahead, face never betraying the loathing now consuming all it settled upon.

"Come, brother," Sesshomaru took only a few strides closer, careful of his footing and surroundings, "we shall finish this."

Inuyasha grew excited by the suggestion, bobbing to and fro in anticipation. "Lets."

His arm flew back, charging his opponent with all the force a decaying body can muster. Kagome went to step forward, pulse fluttering, thoughts scattered until a firm hand rested on her shoulder. She looked to see Koga holding her back, clutching her with knitted brows drawn together from worry.

"D-don't." He stuttered, glancing every which way around them.

"What do you mean don't! I can't let this happen, I … "

"Do you really want to get between them?" Koga nodded his head in their direction, watching as the woman's expression morphed at witnessing the cataclysmic battle. "There's nothing you can do anyways, Kag. Besides…. Who's side would you be on?"

She swallowed a dryly, it seeming all the moisture in her body released from her eyes. She wanted to answer, but it seemed she was still unsure. Inuyasha had been everything to her, up until now, when he tried to kill her friends in cold blood. And Sesshomaru…. He had always been a shield, cloaked in shadows and secret, always her hidden guardian.

"S-Sessh… Sesshomaru." She whispered, firming her answer, along with her shoulders, "I'd be with Sesshomaru!"

That apparently caught Koga off guard, for he sniffed into the air and tossed that information acidicly in his mind. "You just don't understand, do you Kagome?" His sneer slithered into place again, sweat dripping down his neck.

She, of course, jutted out her jaw, stiffening it like her resolution. "HE hasn't tried to kill anyone."

"Oh, that's were your wrong. Dead wrong." Koga felt the girls body ripple into trembles. He wanted her to hate Sesshomaru, just as she was now beginning to hate Inuyasha… well… THIS Inuyasha.

She tore from his grip, flinging herself far from that despicable bastard. Kagome's whole body felt vulnerable and violated. All's she had been spoon fed were lies upon lies, deceived even by the one's she thought she knew and loved. She couldn't believe Koga, nor listen to his pretty words either. How did she know if it wasn't all another illusion, a picture painted for any fool to believe in?

The only one she knew she could trust was the youkai now clashing against his own kin… or what remained of him.

Sesshomaru fought with little mercy, precise in his regal pursuit. His facelessness caused even the very wind to grow bitter, slicing into the very depths of all who remained to watch. His sword hung casually in his grip, swishing when ever the proper opportunity presented itself. The harder Inuyasha urged his body the more it appeared this was a one sided battle.

Kagome wasn't the only one to realize that those lacerations now oozing forth held little or no effect over the hanyou. In fact, he appeared to not even take notice to the damage he was receiving.

Sesshomaru gave a wide arc downwards, hacking another large gap into the corpses mid section. This flared into a grotesque sizzle, popping out to consume the very blade that had sliced through it. The injuries seemed to be devouring the weapon, absorbing what it could to prevent it's destruction. The further Sesshomaru pressed Toukijin, the further the very blood stripped away its strength, leaving behind only a dripping residue of what had once been a sharpened fang.

The taiyoukai glared menacingly to his useless katana, gritting his teeth to discover the monstrosity standing before him was far more dangerous than previously assumed. What ever lay underneath the once proud hanyou's skin had surprises that not even a full breed demon's nose could detect, and this further infuriated the western lord.

"Shitty sword you got there." Inuyasha licked at his wounds, gitty from the onslaught carnage manifesting itself. "It tastes good, so good. But not as much as that little bitch you've been jerking off for."

"Be silent." The demon felt his feral blood enflaming.

Inuyasha cracked another of his serpentine sneers, red crimson water falling down any open wound. "You don't like me telling you how nice she felt, with her underneath me, fucking her raw until there was nothing left?"

Sesshomaru bared his fangs, the scarlet gushed before his eyes, drowning the world in its angry veil. He tossed the nub hilt aside, lunging forward with claws extended. "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

The child had risen forth, striking at thin air where his brother had once stood. Sesshomaru sobered up only long enough to feel the gnawing stab of canines rip into his shoulder. Inuyasha gnashed his teeth well into the demons flesh, grinding to dig deeper, to release the sweet nectar underneath.

The pain was sever, nearly paralyzing. It brought the good senses of the adult back into possession, arching up to tear the loose flesh down the middle of the hanyou's face. The skin split disgustingly down the seams, exposing the pulsing grayish shell that it was. A husk, decayed to the very core, with nothing inside but the evil intentions latching on like a parasite.

Inuyasha spun away, groping at his ripped face. He peeled away the dangling layer, licking at his lips to gather any lingering red drop that might have tried to elude him. "It was worth it." He snickered as the disguise fell away, with all to cringe, if not outwardly than inwardly to stare down such an abomination.

Sesshomaru held the heavily gushing lesion, panting at the anger now seeping to the ground. "You should know by now, brother," Inuyasha circled around the growling youkai, aware his horrible smell was clouding the others senses, "that I can't be beaten. You couldn't even finish me off in the war, so what made you think you could do it now? Now that I'm impartial to pain."

The bite mark already began to heal itself, pulling back any blood that had managed to drip. "You also forget, BROTHER, I had to fight all that stood in my way. You just happened to be hiding yourself in the middle of it all."

The hanyou's face contorted into a vengeful menace, sparking his hatred even more. "Lies! There all LIES!"

Sesshomaru caught one flying foot, then the other directed towards his face, flinging the fidgeting, foaming hanyou a few yards ahead. "You ran from me."

"Lying!"

The youkai flexed his claws, allowing for the poison to dribble along the ground, "You searched for an escape."

"SHUT UP!"

In less than a blink, Sesshomaru was directly in front of the hysterical sack of meat, "But I caught you. And now, I will finish you."

Inuyasha's lifeless eyes suddenly grew, displaying, what most would call fear. Sesshomaru held the hanyou up by the throat, squeezing to feel the bone grind against his eager fingers. Smirking, the demon tilted his head, amazed to remember a similar time when they both had fought, leaving one dangling a few feet in the air.

"N-no.. plea…se…. "

"Please what? Release you?" The youkai chortled, the darkest sound to plunder from his lips. "You're not even alive, what have you to fear of death… again?"

Inuyasha gathered enough moisture into his eyes, pleading to one that would never offer such remorse to him either way. He felt no pain, no sense of lose or struggle, only the awarness that he was NOT invincible. And this, in return, spawned fear. Fear of what would happen if his tiny spark of consciousness was forever severed from this world.

The emptiness… the nothingness that would remain. In one last ditch of effort, the hanyou searched with hopeless eyes for the only salvation close enough to reach.

"Kagome!" The kicking creature bellowed, the threat of decapitation growing ever closer. "Kagome, help me! I.. I love-!"

"None of that." The taiyoukai's eyes flared, snapping the pitiful creatures bone before any more nonsense leaked. With the remaining dead weight, he chucked it aside, thoroughly pleased with himself at the deed. It had taken most of his life, but he had finally done it. He had killed the one that had ripped the world out from under his feet. Accomplished what he had set out to do many years ago. Yet… it still felt…. Empty.

Sesshomaru's lips quirked at the ends, a triumphant, yet bitter hollowness, entwined with the victory. Kagome stood just along the forest line, trying her best to shield the heartfelt tears. She, too, felt the empty loss, unable to look in the direction the battle had once occured. She nibbled her lower lip, walking hesitantly to the once conflicting warriors.

She felt much like the corpse on the ground, cold, useless, void. Her glistening sights slowly flowed up the form of the silver champion, a solemn smile playing across her fragile face. "It was for.. The best." She muttered, conflicting internally much like her standing companion.

Kagome slowly knelt beside her former lover, resting the restored prayer beads around his neck. All this chaos, all this death… what was it for? Why had such misfortune spring up to destroy such tender souls?

The woman didn't know, sitting in the tainted grass to stare beyond, into a world devoid of feeling. She just wanted to stay still. To stop and mourn for all that had been lost.

Sesshomaru came behind her, standing firmly like a mountain, formidable and unyielding, yet much more than it told from it's appearance. His tail encircled her, as a means to remind the woman that she was not without someone to turn to.

He sighed heavily, glaring at Koga off in the distance. He cursed him to the bottomless pits of hell for the misery he rot, for the treachery that had trailed from the war.

The threat lingering in Sesshomaru's stance was enough the wolf leader disappeared into the brush, perhaps not only in fear but, shame as well. His selfishness had crossed to an unforgivable line, and now he had lost not only the woman he loved, but his soul in the process.

"This is not over." Sesshomaru reminded the crouching woman, feeling the presence of something quite sinister lurking in the background. "It's still out there."

"What do you think it wants?"

"You."

* * *

Vixon: here i go, off to start another semester of college. didn't have as much time as i did over the break, but i'm still having trouble writing the fight scenes. it drains me so much. i think i'll take a short cut for this one. don't hate me too much. i'm trying.

send reviews, and please please PLEASE help me write the fight scene for the end. thank you.


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